UGR: Moon Shadow (834 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.72 on 27 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by gravitas (View user info) at 2006-06-20 15:23:55 EDT
Joseph embraces his father one last time before leaving. The soft glow of the full moon accentuates his father's wrinkles and scars, constant reminders of the time and work the old chief invested in his tribe and his son. A cool October breeze tickles Joseph's already trembling nerves. Armed with nothing more than a small, poorly sharpened knife, the fifteen-year-old must face nature's fury for 7 nights to prove his worth to the tribe.
"Just remember what I taught you," his father whispers in his ear.
Joseph can still hear his mother crying in the distance as leaves the safety of village. For weeks she begged him to stay. She thinks the rite of passage is dangerous and outdated, wishing Joseph would move to the city, maybe even attend a school. She sees no future here.
His feet lead him farther and farther from home. Being raised so near the forest, evading briars and roots in the darkness comes natural to Joseph. The familiar hooting of owls and chirping of crickets comfort him.
A couple hours later, he finds a small clearing near a brook. It was under an old white oak and upstream of a slight bend in the brook, just as his father had described.
Joseph crawls under the tree to rest, pulling his legs close to his body to stay warm. He realizes he'll need to build a shelter tomorrow.
Sleep comes slowly.
Then he dreams.
He's an ant. He's underground in an anthill. Looking around, all he sees are more ants identical to him. He recognizes none of them, and they take no notice of him, instead working on countless menial tasks.
With a deep rumble the ground opens up beneath him. He's caught in an avalanche of sand. As soon as he finds a foothold, his feet slip from under him. His cries for help are ignored by the other ants who continue their work. Their only acknowledgement that the event was occurring was expressed in the wide circle they walked around Joseph's death pit.
The other ant's apathy pushes Joseph farther. He realizes he'll only escape through his own strength. Just as he's preparing one great push upward, the whole widens, swallowing him.
Joseph shoots awake. The sun is already high in the sky. He forces himself to stand and collect limbs for a shelter. Branches are plentiful on the ground all around. Before too long, he has a sizeable stack of materials.
Hours later, Joseph smiles with pride at the shelter he's built. The leaf and branch roofed lean-to has a soft floor made of leaves and grass. The only entrance opens to his fire pit. He stacked firewood next to the lean-to after noticing the temperature dropping all day.
As night fell, Joseph struggled for with sticks thirty minutes before enjoying a warm fresh fire. His stomach roared at him, reminding him of his failures at fishing earlier in the day. He longed for the taste of his mother's chicken, roasted in the stone smokehouse in the village and seasoned with spices bought from neighboring tribes.
His hunger kept him awake for hours more. Tossing and turning he couldn't help doubting value of this rite of passage.
He finally passes out from exhaustion. He dreams again.
Joseph is a bright green leaf high in the oak tree. Looking down, he discovers that he's the last leaf in the tree after all his fellow leaves have turned brown and fallen. The wind rushes by him, fighting to knock him off. The cold nips at his edges, making him shiver, but he holds on in desperation.
Without warning, a huge gust of wind yanks him from his branch, but he doesn't fall to the ground. The wind carries him far away from his tree, out of the forest. He finally lands under a maple tree in a city.
The fallen leaves of the maple sit all around him. Though they're all leaves, he stands out sharply.
Joseph is awoken by screams of his name. Sitting up in his shelter makes Joseph wince in pain as he's reminded of his empty stomach. He hears the scream again. It's his mother.
Ignoring his hunger, he runs back to the village. The moon still provides enough light to see his way. The screams grow loudest just before going silent.
Joseph sees pillars of smoke rising above his village while still far away. He speeds up.
Joseph stops in horror at the sight of his home. Charred bodies lie scattered around the village. The huts are no more than smoldering ashes. Near the center, with an arrow protruding from his chest, lays one particular body with a familiar bear claw necklace around its neck. Joseph's father had told him over a thousand times the story of how he killed the bear whose claws decorated his neck.
Joseph kneels next to his father's body and cries for what seems like hours.
When he can no longer ignore his hunger, Joseph stumbles over to the last remaining structure in the village, the smokehouse. Luckily, the raiders didn't bother to check inside. Joseph eats all he can and saves more for later in a leather satchel.
With one last look, Joseph leaves his village for the only place he can, the city.
User Reviews
Submitted by TheUniter (user info) at 2007-07-30 16:31:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FlakMonkey (user info) at 2007-07-30 15:20:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Here, this one's worth something.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2007-06-21 12:00:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
'roids gone wild
Submitted by sweetkisses (user info) at 2007-06-21 11:40:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Dirty_Girl (user info) at 2007-06-21 10:19:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by andkon (user info) at 2007-06-21 08:57:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by sorento35 (user info) at 2007-06-21 08:52:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Great post!
Submitted by Matin_Morte (user info) at 2007-06-20 23:16:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Sydney (user info) at 2007-06-20 22:53:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Sorry to break it to you but you suck.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-06-25 17:55:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry I missed the rating deadline. This was very good.
Submitted by desipalen (user info) at 2006-06-25 17:23:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
will there be a continuation?
Submitted by MrSparkle847 (user info) at 2006-06-22 22:42:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ogod
Submitted by sparkle_pink (user info) at 2006-06-22 22:15:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great story.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-06-22 15:02:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-06-22 10:23:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
definition of a sweet short story
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-06-22 10:22:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wicked money.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-06-21 15:01:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
as soon as i heard tribe and joseph i thought chief joseph. i think he was nez percez but i'm not sure. i like the random dream imagery. i suck at symbolism though so if any of it meant something beyond the obvious i'm pretty much lost. but i'm not gonna hold that against you.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-06-21 13:42:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I enjoyed this, but where's the arrowheads and feather headbands?
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-06-21 12:11:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by gravitas (user info) at 2006-06-21 11:44:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
shlongy, where's my news article? am i not worth it?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-06-21 10:32:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This rating does not count.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-06-20 19:13:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yay
Submitted by JMG114 (user info) at 2006-06-20 17:42:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-06-20 16:32:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-06-20 16:21:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
well shoot, now I want to know what happens next...
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-06-20 16:21:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
well shoot, now I want to know what happens next...
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2006-06-20 15:37:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
but that story had much less death.
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2006-06-20 15:36:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this reminded me of "Julie of the Wolves"