Oh this joyess tool called the internet and one really bored girl . . . (411 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: -1.55 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ScubbaStieve (View user info) at 2006-06-21 06:08:32 EDT
Oh, what boredom leads us to do for a good laugh, at no harm to the opposing party!
I'm bored, so I sign on to my various messenger systems (AIM, MSN, and Yahoo).
None of my friends are on and I'm feeling adventurous, so I decide to hit the Yahoo chats.
I like hanging out in the Body Art rooms, because you meet a wide range of people, and they are generally pretty decent and fun to talk to, so I pick a random one, and see how busy it is.
I surf a couple of them and find one with interesting conversation, so I chill there, just chatting.
Somebody private messages me and asks for my asl, or age, sex, and location. This is common, because it's a little more than awkard sometimes to make a comment and then realize that you're talking to someone who's twenty years older or from another country and it completely lost or uncomfortable. So I respond with my generic answer, jb/f/Cali, and wait for their info. Most people run if somebody is too much older or younger, and I am often one of the youngest in these chatrooms, so when they find our "jb" is code for "jail bait," they more often than not hit the ground running. This particular guy doesn't, and he's in his mid twenties, fine by me, I'm keeping it on a pg level here!
So we talk a little, and he starts asking annoying questions like, "What are you wearing?", "How big are your tits?", etc., and I decide to mess with his head a little, because its midnight, and I have nothing better to do. Translation, I'm in the mood for a good laugh.
We flirt, and he starts talking more sexual. I insist on my innocence, and tell him I don't do this, so I dont actually have to talk.
He keeps going and starts ACTUALLY doing the cyber sex thing, asking if I'm wet, if I'm fingering myself, tells me how hard he is, how tight I must be, being the virgin I am, etc. Its really quite pathetic at this point and I'm busting at the seams trying not to laugh out loud for fear of waking my father. He's typing "ooh, i'm cumming, i'm gonna cum all over ur big titties" (like that's hot??) and asking me how I'm doing. Of course I'm lying, but I'm mostly just laughing my BUTT off and typing the occasional row of "mmmm" in between breaths.
THE OUTCOME: He gets off, and says goodnight, I laugh my ass off and declare him yet another idiot guy, we both have our different types of fun, and come out of it all in better moods than we went in. No harm, no foul . . .
I speak to my friends, laughing again, and they declare their similar experiences. Yes, females are natually this sadistic and evil.
THE MORAL: We are not moaning, we are ROARING, in side splitting pain of laughter. All "cybering" proves to us is how pathetic you are.
THE QUESTION: If we say no, and refuse for a few minutes, and laugh at your suggestion to your face, why do you then believe us when we say we're getting off on it? Are you really so desperate that you sill lie to yourself THAT MUCH??
User Reviews
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-06-21 07:49:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I expected to read about the 'joyless' internet, but I have a sneaky suspicion you might have been trying to spell joyous.
Submitted by Flying_buttmonkey (user info) at 2006-06-21 07:20:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Please tell me you haven't misspelt your own username. Please. Please say it's meant to have that weirdass spelling.
Oh and this was shite.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-06-21 07:15:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
kthxbi
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-06-21 06:49:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Harsh, Nath....harsh but fair
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2006-06-21 06:42:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Damn.
That sure put it to all us men who do nothing but cyberfuck all day long. Now I'm in a shame spiral and I'm contemplating suicide.
You mean I didn't really satisfy all those girls?
You retarded like shit. No one here gives a flying fuck about any of your dumbass experiences.
Give it a few years and you'll be selling your cunt for another hit, convincing yourself that you're just doing it for a laugh and to teach men a lesson, when in actual fact you'll be getting used, just like you were there and didn't even realise it you fucking bint.
Fact is your desperate.
And that's a fact.
It's on the internet (now), so it must be true.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2006-06-21 06:26:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Do you have a boyfriend?
Try seeing if he's into it; £10 says if you see him on MSN and start talking like that he'll be pants down, sausage out before you've finished the second line.
It's like reading a black lace novel, only the other character is dynamic.
Submitted by Cracked_out_cali (user info) at 2006-06-21 06:18:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
5 months.... After a 5 month break from Uber... this is the first post I stumble onto? Christ... Maybe I'll try again in November
Submitted by laika (user info) at 2006-06-21 06:16:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
heres one for you to ponder-
do you really think we mean it when we
say we love you?
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-06-21 06:16:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
not awful...wait, no, what I MEANT to say was: Awful
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-06-21 06:15:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Yeah... Just the way it's written, the turns of phrase, the language used...
Kind of makes you sound cheap and unfunny. Sorry.
Submitted by ScubbaStieve (user info) at 2006-06-21 06:10:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ah, woah, error, already . . . "and IS from another country" not it . . . sorry!!