UGR: In the Arms of Your Enemies (1326 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: competitions
Rating: 1.68 on 50 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Orgasmatron (View user info) at 2006-06-21 18:01:49 EDT
We'll see how this submission style works. If there are formatting issues or compatability problems or everything magically gets blown to hell then I'll repost this in a more traditional - if less appropriate - manner.
I decided to go this route because I thought it fit with the idea I had a little better than just throwing all the text up on a screen. You'll see what I mean.
And so, feel free to download and enjoy Choose Your Own Adventure: In the Arms of Your Enemies.
Choose Your Own Adventure - In the Arms of Your Enemies.doc (515 kB) [application/msword]
User Reviews
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2007-01-20 00:32:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
If you're manly, chicks'll know, man.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-10-16 02:50:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahahaha, how'd I miss this? It was mostly gold. Mostly.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-10-15 20:19:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes, my pretties. Discover the undiscovered.
Revel in the manliness that IS Fist Bismark!
(Thanks for the linkwhore, Lishy)
Submitted by CrazyHorse (user info) at 2006-10-15 19:00:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is firmly lodged in the seventh circle of Badass hell.
Bravo
Submitted by Spam (user info) at 2006-10-15 11:04:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The last things you hear on your deathbed are the sounds of Woman being violated and mutilated by your doctors.
--
AAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!
Submitted by YellowDragon (user info) at 2006-10-15 08:06:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't care if I am way behind the times. Another +2 after actually reading it. You're quick, man, you're quick, like a hummingbird with an EZ Pass.
Submitted by YellowDragon (user info) at 2006-10-15 07:54:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"YOU ARE FIST BISMARK, adventurer and all-around man of action."
HAHAQHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA. The true brilliance of the post lies within. I couldn't read past the opening line because I was crying from laughing so hard.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-06-25 09:28:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The brilliace of this post was so underappreciated. I think it was posted too late in the day.
*bump*
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-06-24 11:57:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-06-23 18:12:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
I meant to rate them all, I missed the deadline.
Why didn't you do this and then paste it in Paint so there was no link to follow?
---
I liked the idea of actually having 'pages' to move ahead to, instead of having to scroll up and down all the time. Accessability might have played a part in how this was received, but somehow I think I'd have gotten the same ratings either way.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-06-23 18:12:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I meant to rate them all, I missed the deadline.
Why didn't you do this and then paste it in Paint so there was no link to follow?
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-06-23 11:23:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i meant to rate this
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-06-22 21:49:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"You are totally feeling the rush. You beat a man to death with your dick. A strong right hand punches right through a painted face. A little man - likely only a child of 15 - stands trembling before you, frightened and alone, and combusts before your eyes, destroyed by the force of your Awesome."
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-06-22 19:43:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
totally excellent
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-06-22 15:55:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i liked this a lot. it's a cool way to look at this and i think it really fit the action/adventure category well. that and the woman ended up in the arms of the enemies a lot and that was great.
plus the part about bite your bag made me laugh a lot. sometimes i'm saddened by how easily i'm entertained by vulgarity.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-06-22 13:57:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Of course it's going to be gimmicky. It's based on an established commodity.
Glad you enjoyed it, though.
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2006-06-22 13:38:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A little gimmicky, but worth reading. A solid 0.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-06-22 12:01:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I rated this in haste last night, as it appeared rating shenanigans were afoot at the time.
Now I can start commenting properly. I'll start with:
"You free his nose from his face and spit it at an attacking warrior, who chokes on it and dies."
I was eating popcorn for dinner. How coincidental that I laughed so hard, I quite literally started choking at the time.
More on this masterpiece later.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-06-22 05:54:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I swear I just gave this a +2 but the rating went down.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-06-22 05:30:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The most fun I have had and probably will have today was in reading this.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-06-22 03:46:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Chuck Norris would have turned to the last page straight away.
Brilliant incidentally.
Submitted by fun_with_needles (user info) at 2006-06-22 01:20:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy shit.
Submitted by gravitas (user info) at 2006-06-22 00:23:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
maybe its beacuse im drunk but this is hilarious. love it.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-06-22 00:15:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's still less of a hassle if you just don't drop stuff like this on peoples ratings.
And O-man yes those deaths were all good ones.
Submitted by ThoreauMe (user info) at 2006-06-22 00:09:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-06-21 22:37:08 (#)
Ranking: 0
And Thoreau, I'd say the only time I really care about ratings are during competitions like these when I expect them to be given according to the merit(s) of the post and in comparison to my opponent's piece. I say this because this is the only time that ratings actually mean something.
But of course, lil' d. That's why I rated it worth reading, which it is.
I just upped it for your sensitive uberdaddy, bubbalicious. (not like he 'ups it' for you, though)
I'm sure your appeal with the judges will be successful, so life is good in d'uberville, yes?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-06-21 22:37:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I hope that the deaths are more satisfying than the given ending, HV.
And Thoreau, I'd say the only time I really care about ratings are during competitions like these when I expect them to be given according to the merit(s) of the post and in comparison to my opponent's piece. I say this because this is the only time that ratings actually mean something.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-06-21 22:23:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just finished, and that was AWESOME! Though I died like 4 times.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-06-21 22:02:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I haven't even finished and I'm laughing my ass off.
Submitted by ThoreauMe (user info) at 2006-06-21 21:44:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Bubba2341
Why do you think Orgasmatron has 'chums', moron?
Maybe because he is a decent sort, not an asshole like you,
Mr. "Literary Critic." Thought we for got about that lie,
didn't you? Stop drinking the water from Walden Pond. It's toxic.
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
I can always count on bubbaloon for a good laugh.
That wasn't 'chums' I meant. I added an 's' by mistake. I meant the stuff the lovely MrsBubba throws in the deep end to keep you away from the grandkids in the summer.
I raise my rating for your o-toy! I give him a +1, if that's what my little booby wants.
So reassuring to see you protect your little ones. I can just picture you, huffing and puffing to the rescue, melons bobbling.
I love you more than I can say!
Submitted by The_Yellow_Dart (user info) at 2006-06-21 21:02:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's not the first time a hat's lead me into immediate trouble.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-06-21 20:33:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This rating will probably not count.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-06-21 20:10:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was awesome.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-06-21 20:10:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ThoreauMe (user info) at 2006-06-21 19:09:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
Worth reading. Kinda funny in parts.
What would be funnier is the look on your face when you check your ratings every five seconds.
THAT'S priceless.
Maybe your chums will build you up.
================================
Why do you think Orgasmatron has 'chums', moron?
Maybe because he is a decent sort, not an asshole like you,
Mr. "Literary Critic." Thought we for got about that lie,
didn't you? Stop drinking the water from Walden Pond. It's toxic.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2006-06-21 20:05:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Think, Fist, think.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-06-21 19:58:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
An interesting concept, indeed...
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-06-21 19:16:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
'twas manly. I just mean, you can pick which path will help you survive longer by picking the higher number. But, if I didn't like it, I wouldn't +2 it.
PS: My name's not Nancy. But it would be funny if everyone thought that.
Submitted by ThoreauMe (user info) at 2006-06-21 19:09:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Worth reading. Kinda funny in parts.
What would be funnier is the look on your face when you check your ratings every five seconds.
THAT'S priceless.
Maybe your chums will build you up.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-06-21 19:04:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
All roads lead to death but one, Nance.
I wasn't trying to build a better mousetrap with this. Just a manly one.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-06-21 18:59:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cool. Although it's kinda easy to tell which will lead to your death based on the page numbers. Even so, cool idea.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-06-21 18:57:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is the best post ever.
Ever.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-06-21 18:53:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-06-21 18:53:34 EDT (#)
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Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2006-06-21 18:53:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
eh
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-06-21 18:41:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, my bad
http://dickcream.com/h/04/0811/
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-06-21 18:37:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-06-21 18:14:44 (#)
Ranking: 0
http://discharges.org/h/0909/
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You motherfucker. *sent to Bart*
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-06-21 18:14:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://discharges.org/h/0909/