D-Prime Madness: Stand On Your Seat (715 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.77 on 21 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Bubba2341 (View user info) at 2006-06-21 21:19:41 EDT
NOTE: I have never seen a title about which I drew such a blank. That said,
"It ain't no use to stand on the seat,
the crabs in this place can jump fifty feet."
-The Shithouse Poet-
Billy hated going to baseball games with his parents. At 4' 7" tall, he could never see what
was happening when all the adults jumped out of their seats to watch a spectacular play.
His mother had told him many times, "Bill, just stand on your seat and you will be able
to see."
Stupid bitch, Billy thought. Doesn't she realize these are the standard folding stadium chairs,
and if I step too far back the seat will fold back and I will break my leg? Maybe that would be
a good thing, and then I would have an excuse to stay home.
The playoffs for the hometown AA team took place on Saturday night, and they made Billy
go along. He kicked and screamed, but to no avail. Third row, middle section, right behind
home plate. Dad squealed all the way to the game about how great the view would be, but
Billy sat in silence, thinking how much better the view would have been on the TV at home.
"Steeerike two," yelled the umpire, causing the crowd to jump to its feet. Billy sat in a funk,
knowing that even if he stood, he wouldn't be able to see shit. What a fucking waste of time!
The girl next to him, a 19 year old sweetie in a wheelchair, told him to stand on the seat so
he could tell her what was happening in the game. Billy tried to explain how he could break
something if he fell through the seat, but the young lady just smiled at him.
"Don't worry, kid, I'll help steady you so you don't fall. Now hop on up there."
Billy felt like an idiot, standing on the edge of the seat. All of his feelings changed when he
felt the girl's left hand on his ass, holding him in place. He had never been touched by a
young woman, and this was having a definite effect on him. When he almost stumbled forward,
she placed her right hand on his crotch and smiled up at him.
"You won't fall now. I got your ass and your pecker covered. Now tell me what is going on in the
game."
Billy tried to ignore his erection and give a play by play account, but it wasn't working. The girl realized the problem, and told him not to worry about the game, just concentrate on feeling good.
Ten seconds later, when he shot in his pants, he heard the girl moaning to herself. It was the best game he had ever attended.
User Reviews
Submitted by PlatinumScarecrow (user info) at 2009-08-05 15:25:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Blackberry (user info) at 2009-01-24 18:49:04 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
pederast
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2009-01-24 18:23:51 EST (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/87616#2849612
GET THE PICTURE DIPSHIT?
:(
is this 5 or 6? i lost count. better rate just to be sure.
Submitted by GetNakeddd (user info) at 2006-07-17 23:35:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
By agreement
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-06-23 19:35:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would have rated this a 1, but I'll up it to 1.5 to offset the spazzes.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-06-23 19:34:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Oh, Bubba.
I really can't think of how else to put it, so I'll leave it at that.
Interesting take on the title, for sure.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-06-23 16:05:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The writing, I think we can both agree, left a little to be desired.
Part of that was because of the title, I'm sure.
It's impossible to properly convey this, but if you could hear the narrator's voice in my head while I read this you'd have given it a +2 too.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-06-23 01:09:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Dude, what I rated yours as is what the average rating at this point is.
I rated accordingly and, it would seem, spot on.
Hope you're not pissed at me. I didn't know if you would want me to rate yours, but hey, sometimes you have to say, "What the Fuck", which is why I don't have an ulcer.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-06-23 00:48:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thank ya,Thank ya ver much. I won't rate mine or my competition. although he
rated mine, , , ,, , ,, , ,, ,,
Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2006-06-22 13:43:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Had to come back and give this a two. Short & sweet, perverted... just right.
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-06-22 09:32:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
CRIPPLE PORN,
So, does the kid just sit there with cum in his pantaloons?
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-06-21 23:52:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
a no-pump chump
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-06-21 23:22:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-06-21 23:14:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Pretty nasty...
Got me off though.
I bet you feel used now?!?!
Submitted by ThoreauMe (user info) at 2006-06-21 22:22:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey! I just realized I gave you a zero and raised your average!
Submitted by ThoreauMe (user info) at 2006-06-21 22:21:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341
Your opinion means lees to me than the blowjob
I got from your wife last night.
My wife died last year.
Testicular cancer.
Why don't you critique something
literary?
Don't be so hard on yourself.
It wasn't THAT bad.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-06-21 22:14:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by ThoreauMe (user info) at 2006-06-21 21:54:37 (#)
Ranking: -2
Actually, I'm afraid I was being facetious. That sucked, booby.
Save it for the grandkids.
BoobyIII will definitely like it, unless he shares grandpa's taste in young men. If that's the case, just sign him up for uber.
Your problem solved.
++
Thanks, shitlicker. Your opinion means lees to me than the blowjob
I got from your wife last night. Why don't you critique something
literary, Mr. Cool? You're too gutless to review under your actual
account, so why bother? Dipshit.
Submitted by tarnation (user info) at 2006-06-21 21:57:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
good work!
Submitted by ThoreauMe (user info) at 2006-06-21 21:54:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Actually, I'm afraid I was being facetious. That sucked, booby.
Save it for the grandkids.
BoobyIII will definitely like it, unless he shares grandpa's taste in young men. If that's the case, just sign him up for uber.
Your problem solved.
Submitted by ThoreauMe (user info) at 2006-06-21 21:46:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Truly exceptional!
Submitted by ssspunkstaa (user info) at 2006-06-21 21:31:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Meh... +1 for the poem