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My Alter Has An Alter (439 hits)

Category: News

Rating: -1.77 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)

Submitted by ThoreauMe (View user info) at 2006-06-22 13:12:04 EDT

Yes, it's true! I can hardly believe it myself. One of my alters had a little alter of its own!

I'm bursting!

When uber and I joined together years ago, we were both young and busy, full of ourselves and our hectic lives. Neither of us wanted alters.

But as we got older, there seemed to be something missing.

A hole that needed filling.

Oh, I tried filling that hole, believe me. In a variety of ways.

But it was such a huge hole. Even other ubers commented on it.

And then I had my first alter.

It was unplanned, of course. Neither of us was ready.

But that's how life is sometimes. Unpredictable. When you least expect it, something like this shoots out of your nethers, grabs you by the throat, and screams "I'm here, bitch! Deal with it!"

You know how alters can be.

Pretty soon, our little alter needed a playmate, someone to watch over, and to be looked after in return.

So, as you've probably already guessed, pretty soon the place was crawling with alters, running around the site and getting into all kinds of trouble.

Alters will be alters.

I was so proud. They each developed their own little personality and made their own friends, some of whom were alters themselves. It was fun to watch them grow up, and quite a comfort as the years passed.

I lost a few. It's never easy. But you do the best you can, and move on.

But I never thought...well, I guess it always surprises you when your little ones start behaving independently of your control.

At first, you're scared for them, but then you realize it's the way of the world. You can't keep them to yourself forever.

So I'm excited to announce:

I'm a grand-alter!

I know some of you older ubers disapprove. And I understand. The older generation always tries to keep the younger down.

But it's impossible.

Alters are our future.

And the future is now.

Besides, you know what they say:

Alters are like rape: Sometimes unpleasant, but always ubiquitous.

I'm registered at Target.

User Reviews

Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-06-28 19:01:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

An alter is no better than a coward hiding under a KKK sheet and hood.

Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-06-27 14:27:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

What's all this nonsense about your incestuous relationships, now?

Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-06-24 12:32:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

And you think you have any right to criticize anyone else's work?

Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-06-23 18:22:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

No Comment

Submitted by ThoreauMe (user info) at 2006-06-23 18:15:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

You are all correct, my children.

My precious uber-babes.

Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-06-23 17:33:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-06-23 17:26:00 (#)
Ranking: -2

Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-06-23 17:09:37 (#)
Ranking: -2

wow, you're a total fucking retard.

Congratulations!
---------------
HA!
---------------

Quoting a quote of a quote. This makes just as watered down as "you."

Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-06-23 17:29:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

cool man

Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-06-23 17:26:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-06-23 17:09:37 (#)
Ranking: -2

wow, you're a total fucking retard.

Congratulations!
---------------
HA!

Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-06-23 17:19:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

THEY HAVE ALTERS SO THEY CAN GET THEY WELFARE!

Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-06-23 17:09:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

wow, you're a total fucking retard.

Congratulations!

Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-06-22 17:22:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

No Comment

Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-06-22 13:23:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

I would imagine that my most acrid diarrhea tastes like this reads.

Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-06-22 13:20:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Suck me, beautiful.

Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-06-22 13:18:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

No Comment

Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-06-22 13:17:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-06-22 13:16:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

only gays have alters

Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-06-22 13:14:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

My alters can kick your alters' asses.

Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-06-22 13:14:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2

please register your alters with the Local 101 Alters Union and make sure you pay your dues

Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-06-22 13:14:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0

No Comment