Re: Re: Re: PLAYSTATION 3 IS GAY (1195 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.07 on 19 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Sully (View user info) at 2006-06-22 15:13:23 EDT
I hear Playstation 3 is very expensive so I'm probably not going to get it. I've had my back to the wall on the whole income thing lately plus I have almost no drive to buy a video game system these days since a new one is going to come out every two years or so that blows the previous
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Break for some Japanese influenced Anti-Semitic zoo handler fiction I've been working on.
PART 1 OF 512:
Itachi gazed across the vast caged landscape whilst sitting atop his skyscraper-esque recliner that he built so high specifically for such gazing. A miscellaneous green balloon floated up past him to its unknown future in the clouds. He smiled at the balloon, wondering what poor child just lost his or her floating green oval of enjoyment on a string.
"Fuck Jews!" Itachi screamed with a clenched fist raised.
Itachi's glorious zoo brought him nourishment as well as a reason to wake up everyday. There was a point in his life following the death of his sister/lover Aoshi where Itachi didn't even feel like showering, eating, or moving. He didn't even breathe as much as he used to. It wasn't until Itachi's father died (printer paper jam) that he inherited the zoo and had a newfound reason to get out of bed each morning.
Twenty feet higher than the highest cage, Itachi peered across the legions of children giggling at the silly spider monkeys throwing nuts at each other. A little boy donning Gwen Stefani's newest line of street clothes having a temper tantrum because his father didn't have enough money for cotton candy. A few angsty teens leaning over the railing of the lion area swearing at the beasts with such aggressive abandon and no let up. A group of cute first graders with helmets imitating the sloths, moving very slowly and deliberately. This was heaven to Itachi.
And it was as though he really was in heaven, so high above his zoo. It gave him such pleasure to observe the masses interacting with his animals. To Itachi, the zoo was his little universe and he was the one and only God of it. He took a deep breath and let it out, followed by licking the insides of his cheek to taste youth's love for observing caged animals. Nothing could ruin this moment for Itachi.
"Ha Mr. Itachi! What you do way up dere! Haha-ha! Uh uh hah!"
WHOOPS, spoke too soon! Itachi looked down to see Minhuouzo, the new zoohand hired to clean up the zebra pen.
"Oh ho ho! Minhouozo, what you do here? Get you ass in da zebra pen you evil, evil son of a bitch!" screamed Itachi.
"But my name is Minhuouzo and zebra pen is clean. All left is da zebras demselves and all dey pooped since I left dem. Ho ho uh uh!" laughed Minhuouzo. He started doing a little dance, hopping on one foot, then the other all the while twisting his arms and fingers in such a way as to let Itachi know that he hated Israel.
"Oh ho ho! Why you no say sooner?" replied Itachi, a little embarrassed. He had not expected Minhuouzo to already have the zebra pen clean. He still didn't fully believe Minhuouzo so he told him he would inspect for himself.
"I inspect for myself!"
Itachi started to climb down from his throne and descend the ladder. The zoo-goers started to take notice and clap in recognition. Anyone who had a pen or pencil in their pocket, dutifully took them out and gouged swastikas into their palms. If the graphite tips on the pencils broke, they did the rest with their pinky fingernails. It happened to be "Don't cut your pinky fingernail" month.
Itachi inspected the zebra pens, and they were indeed clean. He pinched Minhuouzo's left asscheek twice in a manner of professional thanks. Minhuouzo didn't like it and from then on thought differently of Itachi. Archie, a gorilla who witnessed the whole thing from about 10 yards away winced at Minhuouzo's obvious discomfort.
TBC...
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system out of the water. Besides who needs videogames when you can drink alcohol, ride dirtbikes, and go for walks outside? I've been walking lately, it's always good to walk. You should walk. That's my two cents about Playstation 3, what do you guys think of that G.W. Bush guy huh? Wow huh?
User Reviews
Submitted by mrwolf (user info) at 2008-08-21 10:48:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was fucking hilarious. I can't believe the amount of idiocy this generated.
-P
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2006-06-23 10:37:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
See here's where it gets tricky... this wasn't supposed to be treated as a videogame discussion. I have no interest in next-generation nerd technology and I tried to thin the veil of seriousness as much as possible but apparently not enough.
WTF PLAYSTAYSHIN 3 POST?? FUCK OFF DIE NUB Wii XBOX WOO DIE -2 DIE
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-06-23 09:40:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
ONLY RAVERS AND HOBOS CAN'T AFFORD A PLAYSTATION 3!!!
NOW EXCUSE ME WHILE I GO POLISH MY SOLID GOLD FERRARI AND DRINK SOME MALTED WALRUS MILK!
Submitted by lossy (user info) at 2006-06-23 09:05:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
not as gay as you!
Submitted by DJMattB241 (user info) at 2006-06-22 23:47:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Wii wins.
Conversation over.
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2006-06-22 22:10:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It wasn't at the time, but for you anything!
Submitted by marginwalker (user info) at 2006-06-22 16:18:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ubmitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-06-22 15:53:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2006-06-22 15:21:21 (#)
Ranking: 0
:( infinite
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Was that a Smashing Pumpkins reference?
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HA HA HA
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-06-22 16:05:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
My 360 is teh hotness. I love that damn machine.
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-06-22 15:53:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2006-06-22 15:21:21 (#)
Ranking: 0
:( infinite
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Was that a Smashing Pumpkins reference?
Submitted by AshyLarry (user info) at 2006-06-22 15:44:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hilarious
Never before has PS3 talk been this engaging.
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2006-06-22 15:40:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The juice of satire's teat sure has a different taste than what I remember.
Submitted by Molari (user info) at 2006-06-22 15:37:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yep, PC 4 life. Consoles are for dumb asses who are afraid of installing games and can't use a mouse.
Submitted by livEvil (user info) at 2006-06-22 15:35:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
A.D.D.?????
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-06-22 15:25:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Consoles are shit, they are outdated a year after they come out, plus you have to buy the games for them or at least pay to modchip them
Submitted by no_one (user info) at 2006-06-22 15:24:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
360
^^^ I think this is why nintendo changed the name of the revolution. they realized it seemed like they were copying the 360. So they changed it to something gay. we or wi or whatever.
anyway, the 360 is the best. oh yeah, oh yeah.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2006-06-22 15:21:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2006-06-22 15:21:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
:( infinite
Submitted by Teephphah (user info) at 2006-06-22 15:20:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Thou shalt not speak poorly of the PS3.
<SMITE!>
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-06-22 15:19:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
lololooloolllololololo