David, (533 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.2 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by runswithscissors (View user info) at 2006-06-22 16:08:59 EDT
You werent supposed to happen. You caught me off guard, unsuspecting. But then again, isn't
that when it happens? When you aren't looking? I had no time, no chance, to throw up the walls.
And by the time I did, you were already inside. The walls only held you closer.
I remember our first date. Not just the specifics of where we went and what we did; but also how
easy it was to just be with you. No, not easy. How natural it was. I remember the touch of
your hand on the small of my back, guiding me along the crowded sidewalk, the way your hand found
mine, our fingers intertwined. And I remember the kiss when you dropped me off. Not pressing and
urgent, but slow and lingering. And I swear, in the few moments that followed, if you had asked
me to marry you, I would have said, "Yes."
And then you left. I spent the rest of the evening pacing in my apartment, alternating between
joy and fear. I already knew that I would fall for you.
Then the catch. Whenever things seem too good to be true, there is always a catch. Your time
in Portland was limited. You were, and still are, an independent contractor, with a contract
ending in September. It is May.
"Dont get attached. Dont get attached. Dammit, Julie, dont get attached!!"
Yeah, right. I should have just told myself not to breathe while I was at it.
And then the real rollercoaster begins. You tell me that your contract has been extedned for a
year. A whole year! Two weeks later, however, comes different news. You are leaving. Soon.
We meet for coffee, you explain your reasons, and I cannot, and will not, fault you for it.
As I told you then, "I am not angry with you. It is simply the circumstances which suck."
We hug, and part ways. I seek comfort from friends and do my best to let go. But then, not
even a week later, I find myself driving to your hotel. At your request.
I know I shouldnt go. Logically I know this. And I would have had more success in defying
gravity than controlling my desire to see you again. Even if for just one more time.
You stand in the doorway of your hotel room waiting. I walk into your arms, and you dont just
hug me, you hold me. My face against your chest, your hand on the back of my head, I breath
in your scent, deeper and deeper into my lungs.
It is late, so we crawl into bed. We have sex. Or make love? I dont know. It is urgent, but
not frantic. When we are done, I lay my head on your chest and wrap my arms around you,
intertwining my legs with yours. I cannot get close enough. If I could have crawled inside
your skin, I would have.
I decided then that I wanted to enjoy the time I did have to spend with you, knowing that
you would be leaving. And so it was back to an easy familiarity. Natural. Comfortable.
The days are winding down. Six days. And then news that I hadn't dared to dream of. You
aren't leaving after all! What news! I couldnt have asked for a better birthday present.
Twenty four hours later. You are leaving after all. Happy Birthday to me.
Sunday. Our last day. It is wonderful. We talk at length. I will visit you. You want
to move back to Portland in a year. You tried not to care for me. I couldn't help but care
for you.
And then you are gone. Only a few days have gone by, but I realize that not only have you left,
you are gone. Gone from me, my life, forever. Maybe I am just thinking with a worst case
scenario mindset, but it would be foolish to do anything but that.
I called LJ crying, wanting to know how I could be so upset over someone I knew for such a short
period of time. It just doesn't make sense. He said, "It doesn't take years to fall in love
with someone. And losing love hurts."
That is what has happened. I have lost love. And it does more than hurt. It leaves me
holding my breath whenever my phone rings or I when I check my email, hoping there will be
word from you. It has me looking around the bar when I catch a scent that reminds me of
you. And it is leaving me constantly disappointed.
I hope it is easier for you.
Sometimes.
With love lost,
Julie
User Reviews
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2006-06-23 10:01:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hold on and hope. Thats what I'm doing.Good luck and if he's the man whose right he'll be back.........that doesn't help does it. Sorry. I'm going to be quiet now.
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-06-22 19:55:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Augusten something something i can't remember
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-06-22 19:36:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oops, forgot to rate.
Thanks for the inspiration, baby
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-06-22 19:23:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-06-22 17:56:29 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-06-22 16:13:29 (#)
Ranking: 0
This is what happens when you involve yourself with a David.
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What are you trying to say Licious?
-Dave
=========
Aww..not you, Dave..um..American Daves?
I have a thing with Daves/Davids, who I shall refer to collectively as "Daves". My two best friends are Daves. Every male roommate (3) I've had has been Dave.
OK, OK..Truth is, I am a collector, and I just want them all to myself.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-06-22 17:56:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-06-22 16:13:29 (#)
Ranking: 0
This is what happens when you involve yourself with a David.
------------
What are you trying to say Licious?
-Dave
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-06-22 17:20:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by runswithscissors (user info) at 2006-06-22 17:13:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Webered (user info) at 2006-06-22 17:06:02 (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh runwithscissors! It's me! David! I love you too! I may look a little different, act differently, live in a different place and altogether not be the same person you knew then! But I still love you and want to make wild love to you like we did in the hotel! Remember? We played leap frog and rode the electric helicopter! Oh please come back to me...
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hahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahaha
Submitted by Webered (user info) at 2006-06-22 17:06:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh runwithscissors! It's me! David! I love you too! I may look a little different, act differently, live in a different place and altogether not be the same person you knew then! But I still love you and want to make wild love to you like we did in the hotel! Remember? We played leap frog and rode the electric helicopter! Oh please come back to me...
Submitted by alwayspeach1 (user info) at 2006-06-22 16:24:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by marginwalker (user info) at 2006-06-22 16:16:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nothing worth savoring comes without discomfort.
I hope he comes back to you.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-06-22 16:13:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This is what happens when you involve yourself with a David.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-06-22 16:10:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This made me want to run about with some scissors.