irrational anger alert! (1142 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: ocd
Rating: 1.52 on 31 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Corn Nugget (View user info) at 2006-06-25 18:10:59 EDT
Those of you who don't like blogging, pointless rambling, me being bitchy for no reason and/or porta-potties, please click here: http://www.ubersite.com/m/58947
It's been a while since I was angry and irrational.
Well, it actually hasn't been that long, but it has been a few months since I posted anything angry and irrational.
Man, if I'm this bitter now I'm gonna be hella-awesome when I'm an old lady.
We live across the street from a park. Every year they have a pow-wow at the park, normally I'd think, "Hey cool, we don't have to drive there, we can just cross the street!". But not this year.
First thing that pissed me off was this: Everyone is coming into my yard to use our porta-potty. Um, okay, let me give you some background on the porta-potty:
My landlord owns a sanitation company. After the broken door episode he surprised us with new a new door, a new ceiling fan and... new siding. There is only one guy working on the house, so it's taking quite a while. The landlord brought him a porta-potty.
The porta-potty is obviously in my yard.
All fucking weekend people have been lining up at OUR porta-potty!! My god! People in my yard at the porta-potty drives me fucking nuts. At one point I sat on the porch and told people "HEY, you can't use that, it's private".
Now, I know this is irrational. We're not using it, nor are we paying for it, so I really have no reason to care if other people use it. It IS on the edge of our yard, so even though it's OBVIOUSLY in our yard, it's not in the middle of the yard.
Last night I just lost it with the porta-potty.
They had fireworks at the pow-pow. A bunch of people sat their goddamn lawn chairs in MY YARD to watch the god damn fireworks. Okay, fine, who cares. As long as they stay out of my flowerbeds I won't even think anything of it.
But I kept getting more and more annoyed with people using the porta-potty, so instead of sitting there and stewing over this, I decided to take action.
First I considered making a note that said "Private" or at the very least, "Use At Your Own Risk", but I don't have any pens. Instead I just backed my car up to the porta-potty door. Instead of being highly annoyed, I became very amused. It was fun to watch people cross the street, approach the porta-potty, look at my car, frown, and go away.
A mom came up with her two little girls. They had to pee so bad that they were holding themselves, but I didn't care. That's how irrational I get.
Plus people keep cutting through our front yard. What the fuck is wrong with people? Did their mothers forget to teach them about sidewalks? Well, right now I have the sprinkler out there, and nobody is crossing through the yard.
They also have indi- um, native american drums playing over the loud speaker. The CD is on repeat. So all weekend we've heard the damn drums. This bothers me for one reason and one reason only: Eriks son will NOT nap because he hears those drums. If you didn't know, little kids who don't get enough sleep are assholes. That's been fun.
OH, and this next bit has nothing to do with the pow-wow.
Last night we went to see a friends band play at a bar. I was watching everyone on the dance floor, and it was weird. I really wish I had my camera. Also, I wonder if bars are always this weird, or if I noticed it because it was the first time I'd ever been sober in a bar? Either way, I miss drinking.
There was a really skinny guy who played air-guitar the ENTIRE NIGHT. Jam jam jam motherfucker. He was so sweaty that his shirt was sticking to him and his hair was plasterd on his forehead, but he was having fun, so horrah.
There was an older lady, maybe in her mid-fifties. She was really skinny, and truth be told, for an older lady, she was pretty attractive. Well, she was dancing double-time. She was swinging her hips and so serious, so intense, and alone. It was like her dance was a mating call. I know she wanted to get fucked. I felt embarrassed for her every time I looked at her, so I was making a consious effort to avoid looking in that section of the dance floor.
She probably did.
And there was this girl jumping around like the dance floor was a fucking mosh-pit. You should have heard her scream when they started playing a stupid Kid Rock cover. Wow, she must like Kid Rock.
After noticing all of these people I started to tell myself, "God dammit, quit being such a negative judgemental bitch!", and I started looking for the positive in people.
Just then a beautiful girl went out to dance. I thought, "See, she's very pretty. And look, she can dance well, too... whew... I'm not so mean after all". Then some g-funk came up and started groping her ass and somehow managed to dance an entire song with both of her tits in his hands. What the hell is that? OKAY, fine, drunk people do stupid things. I, of all people, know this. It's probably her boyfriend and they were leading up---
woah, who's smoking weed IN MY GOD DAMN BASEMENT!?
Anyway, um... it was probably her boyfriend and they were leading up to a fun kinky night in bed. Good for them.
And then another little playa went out and started grinding on the old lady. At first I got a little annoyed, like who the fuck is he to make fun of her? But then it became evident that he really was enjoying getting his grind on, so, hey. Her mating dance worked. She's gonna fuck someone half her age.
Okay, great, now all I can smell is weed.
I'm going to go outside and take some pictures of the house right now so you bitches get a good before-and-after feel from this whole thing.
It is pretty fucking awesome that our landlord is doing this. Our house looks amazing already, and there's still quite a bit to do before they are finished. He still says he'll sell it to us for the same price, so pretty much he just saved us a good $8,000 by doing the siding before we bought it.
User Reviews
Submitted by knucklesnelson (user info) at 2006-06-27 19:31:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
looks alot better
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2006-06-27 12:20:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Aw, I want a little house like that... sigh.
One time I was at a party in Annapolis and got really drunk and peed in a porta-potty in someone's yard. But, that's different because it was right up next to the sidewalk. It's like that's what it was put there for.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2006-06-27 09:18:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What's you're problem gay-jay?
WOW basements are illegal in california? I just tried thinking of a joke to go along with that, but invariably they all involve migrant workers, and it would seem to be bad taste to go that route.
Johnny, how do you know that? It's unusual to find someone with extensive porta potty experience.
Submitted by TheCrystalShip (user info) at 2006-06-26 16:50:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
"I find it very funny that this handyman has put all this effort into the siding and door and yet he still can't seem to find 1 or 2 finish nails to secure that fascia peice in the front."
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Hahaha
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-06-26 16:19:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-06-26 15:20:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2006-06-26 04:51:32 (#)
Ranking: 0
are basements common in the usa?
depends on where you are.
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they're illegal in California.
Corinne, those porta-potties can be padlocked, ya know.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-06-26 15:49:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Damn you.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-06-26 15:20:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2006-06-26 04:51:32 (#)
Ranking: 0
are basements common in the usa?
depends on where you are.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2006-06-26 11:22:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I own several pens and pen companies
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2006-06-26 11:06:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Xcuses (user info) at 2006-06-26 10:05:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like your rants.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-06-26 09:40:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I added a point for your upgrade.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-06-26 08:56:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by thecaes (user info) at 2006-06-26 07:00:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"First I considered making a note that said "Private" or at the very least, "Use At Your Own Risk", but I don't have any pens."
That sentence made me laugh. Who doesn't own a pen?
Anyway, nice post...I think I'd get irritated too if random people kept filling up my front yard with shit and piss; I don't find that irrational at all.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-06-26 06:28:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I find it very funny that this handyman has put all this effort into the siding and door and yet he still can't seem to find 1 or 2 finish nails to secure that fascia peice in the front.
And fuck 'em, next time some uses the Port o Pot, toss a Quarter Stick at it.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-06-26 05:57:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate those things
Submitted by shandythedog (user info) at 2006-06-26 04:51:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
are basements common in the usa?
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2006-06-26 03:06:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
It looks like you stole your porch from a Travel Inn reception area.
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2006-06-26 01:30:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Better than 98% of the crap on this site.
Scary huh.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-06-25 23:49:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
your house looks like shit
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-06-25 23:15:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
something doesn't look right about that word, but somehow my laptop is set on really small font so I can't really see the letters all that clearly
it does occur to me that the font may not be 100% of the problem
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ctrl-+?
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-06-25 23:05:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I used a privy tonight, but it was at the mall during the outdoor symphony concert. It was Hungarian music night which means that there was a woman dancing in a way that rather put me in the mind of one of the family from my parents old grateful dead days, you know the spinning people, not the swirling dervishes, the other type with the really good drugs. She even had a scarf and well odd thing is see, no one really dances to the symphony but I was with Sam and his mom and therefore sucking down the white merlot like it was kool-aid so what do I know really, the whole thing seems a bit fuzzy now in rhetrospect.
something doesn't look right about that word, but somehow my laptop is set on really small font so I can't really see the letters all that clearly
it does occur to me that the font may not be 100% of the problem
I think I'll go hunt Sam down and have my way with him now.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-06-25 21:02:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hate to say it but that just looks cheesy in my eyes. I mean who would put greek style pillars holding up the roof of their porch?
The thing, I think, with that kind of american house, is that the style originated from all the extremely poor europeans who made up the majority of the settlers in the midwest, who had got it into their heads that a nice posh house should look like a smaller version of the original roman bath house at Bath. And then they built them out of wood.
I dunno, all houses over here are built out of bricks or stone, maybe a few modern houses made out of random stuff metally plasticy glassy stuff. I don't recon we've build much out of wood for about...dunno, mid Tudors, must be around 1/2 millenia by now.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2006-06-25 20:43:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Woody, I know what you mean. I never realized that everything in the US lacks style until I went overseas. I'd say it's fairly rare for homes here to have crown molding and distinct features compared to homes elsewhere.
There are about 10 houses on my street that are all nearly identical. But there are tons of homes in the 'downtown' area with a lot of charecter.
http://www-personal.umich.edu/~mrwizard/501/501.html
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-06-25 20:36:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-06-25 20:27:15 (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, do shut up asshole, in my opinion, that styleof house, which is found as far as I have seen mainly in america (certainly not in the UK) looks like a hobo has knocked it together (admittedly rather well) out of bits of old wood and sheets of metal.
_____________________________
Any hobo that can afford windows of any sort is lying about his hobo status.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-06-25 20:34:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
lololololololololol
It sucks...
To be you...
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-06-25 20:27:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, do shut up asshole, in my opinion, that styleof house, which is found as far as I have seen mainly in america (certainly not in the UK) looks like a hobo has knocked it together (admittedly rather well) out of bits of old wood and sheets of metal.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-06-25 19:45:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-06-25 18:55:22 (#)
Ranking: 0
American houses always look kinda like shanty town huts to me.
No offense meant.
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If I didnt know any better I'd think you were an expert on everything American.
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2006-06-25 19:41:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
He may have come up with the recipe, but I came up with the idea of
charging $6.95 for it.
-- Moe Syzlak
Flaming Moe's
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-06-25 18:55:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Y HALO THAR!
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-06-25 18:55:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
American houses always look kinda like shanty town huts to me.
No offense meant.
Submitted by zakalwe (user info) at 2006-06-25 18:49:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
must be that time of the month.