Learning the guitar (camwhore) (832 hits)
Category: Politics -> IraqRating: -0.5 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Hookhand (View user info) at 2006-06-26 07:19:36 EDT
One the first day, the crowds did gather and they did say to Jason.
"Um, dude. You know, Marilyn...she was ugly. I never thought she was cute."
And one dear friend did say
"She said she wanted to have sex with me? No offense dude, but I wouldn't fuck her under any circumstances."
He didn't consent to having his name on the internet, so let's nickname him Rockford W Coscia who lives on Packard Street in Ann Arbor and has an internship with Pfizer, but just for the summer because he's going to Columbia grad school for Chemistry.
Another dear friend did say "No offense, dude, but if I were a guy (she isn't) I would fuck [one of my male friends with whom the ex unfortunately (for everyone) rooms] before I fucked her."
Another dear friend did say "I think she drugged you" in response to my having decreed that I thought she was pretty when we did date.
And on this day, Jason was moved, and he was reminded of the parable of Eek the cat. Eek did show the pictures of his fair Annabelle, and the crowds did say "She's um....fat" and Eek did say "Really?" and all was good.
On the second day, the crowds did gather and they did decree that Jason was "hot"
One dear friend did say the least flattering; "For a guy I am not attracted to in any way, you're really pretty hot."
Another did decree "I hope you won't hold this against me, but I think you're a little bit more than hot."
And another did say "You acted like you were hot shit before, but now that you know, I guess it won't be an act. Yeah, of course you're hot."
And Jason's head did spin, for no one had called him hot since High School.
On the third day Jason did notice his axe, and he did resolve to learn to play accoustic jams to moisten the panties (Did they say panties in whatever pseudo-biblical / Chaucerian speak I am spouting?) of the fair[e] young maidens. And then the fairest maiden of them all did decree that it was "fucking retarded when guys 'tried' to play the guitar to impress chicks"
Jason was sad, for he had intended to 'try' to play for he could only fuck fumble with the strings of a guitar and was "totally fucking in it for the 'tang'"
He resolved nevermore to retrieve his axe.
Until the Fox did admit that he too was learning to play guitar. The Fox did also decree that he should "Learn Rock Lobster."
Rock Lobster is totally bad ass.
Fuck it, I'm learning the guitar.
This is what came up when I googled "Rock Lobster"
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-06-26 16:16:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
nice picture of Australians you got there
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-06-26 12:23:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Keep your chin up and practise 8 hours a day and one day, son, you might play as good as me
Submitted by Creepy_guy (user info) at 2006-06-26 11:17:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And on this day, Jason was moved, and he was reminded of the parable of Eek the cat. Eek did show the pictures of his fair Annabelle, and the crowds did say "She's um....fat" and Eek did say "Really?" and all was good.
________________________________________
+1 for that.
Submitted by gonefiguring (user info) at 2006-06-26 10:13:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you can actually play guitar and you want pussy, you will get pussy. If you can play in public and not absolutely suck, the pussy will come to you. It'll just show up. This a true fact. It may not be pussy with any brains or looks attached, but that's only as important as it may be to you. Pussy good. Guitar good.
Submitted by Spuds002 (user info) at 2006-06-26 10:10:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
if you changed your mind on the camwhore then pull it out of the title
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-06-26 09:46:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I don't give a fuck.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2006-06-26 09:07:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
my god I think that's Saxon....
it's moments like these my decision not to go to Brisbane ubercon feel reinforced by a big can of reinforced arse to the wall..
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-06-26 08:41:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Do you have a chemical imbalence fucktard?
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2006-06-26 07:27:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I thought better of it.
Besides, the worst part about this post was where I forgot to add
On the 4th day, Hookhand did form a band with Dwight Fry, and they were totally fucking in it for the money and the tang.
If Dwight could post, I would be -2 dead.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-06-26 07:26:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Too many fucking Jasons on this site :(
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-06-26 07:23:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Where's the camwhore?!!?!