Visitors of War (Part 2) (511 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: -1.53 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by The Known Unknown (View user info) at 2006-06-26 13:36:34 EDT
Part 1 - http://www.ubersite.com/m/89605
The helicopter rotors begin to speed up, as the helicopter takes off Dan stares out the window, watching as national guardsmen and regular army personal slowly converge on the streets of Las Vegas. He is unaware of how dire the situation has become so far.
"Ok, enough! What in the hell is going on?" Dan Says...
"Sir, NATO and US satellites have detected multiple objects entering the moon's atmosphere, reports from the international station have confirmed this" MP States...
"What do you mean multiple objects?" Dan Says Curiously...
"I'm not sure sir, that's all I have been told, we got the confirmed reports that 30 large scale objects have entered the moon's atmosphere and have became dropping smaller objects to the surface" MP States...
Dan then just sits back, knowing that the MP knows more than he is telling him. Either way Dan knows something serious is going on. He over hears the MPs broadband radio system how troop movements into other major US cities is being conducted. Las Vegas luckily has been not too hard to secure, reports of large scale rioting in Chicago has caused significant loses to the Illinois national guards ability to secure the city. Dan also watches as F-16 soar above the helicopter. Then Dan hears something horrible over the broadband system.
"Bravo 147, this is division 97-1 in grid 4-10 in Las Vegas over?"
"97-1 this is Bravo 147, go ahead; over."
"Bravo 147, our forces are being over ran by civilian rioting, riot control ineffective over"
"97-1, please hold"
"97-1, as Chicago divisions have been told, the use of live ammunition and deadly force has been authorized, over."
Dan can't believe what he is hearing, the use of deadly force by the US army on US citizens, this can't be. Could it be our government is falling a part? Could this really just be a coup attempt on his country? Dan wonders what is going on in major cities around the world. Are they doing the same things, is it worse there? So many questions run through Dan's mind but so few answers have surfaced so far. The 20 minute trip back to base seems like it is taking hours, they finally arrive around 6pm, oddly enough he sees all six of his AreoFlux planes in the run way, in plain view, and this is far from normal.
Dan is escorted to the briefing room by the MPs, on the way there he notices before entering the main building how all the bases defense systems are being activated.
"What in the hell is happening" Dan wonders to himself.
As Dan enters the briefing room he sees his entire squadron there. Lt. Rory Belndier, Lt. John Adams, Lt. Stacy Mcfurry, Tony Bergoti and Sam Owens. They all greet him with nervousness on there face.
"How was your 47 minute leave Dan?" Rory Jokes...
"Funny Rory, making jokes in a crisis as usual, typical you." Dan remarks...
"Oh, leave him alone Dan, it's been very stress so far today" Stacy says...
"I know I'm just so confused and pissed about what is going on right now" Dan Says...
"You know what's going on?" Sam says
"NO! That's what is pissing me off" Dan Says...
They all let out a little giggle, and then enters colonel Trisha Marie, she has been the AreoFlux project manager since the beginning. She has a disturbed look on her face, which makes the squadron team feel uneasy. She begins to speak...
"Ok BCs, our time has come, we have been moved from experimental stage to full activated war squadron, mass production of our AreoFlux planes has begun in a remote area in Colorado. We have started mass production due to the recent threat which has happened within the past few hours. Thirty large scale objects of unknown origin have entered the moon's atmosphere and begun dropping smaller objects to the surface. Your first active mission will be a reconnaissance mission, your are to stealthy go into the moon's orbit and find out what the hell is out there, though we hope it is a meteor breaking up, we highly doubt it. If there is an enemy, do not engage unless absolutely necessary. Your itineraries of what to do will be located in your planes mission logs, good luck and god speed to you all"
The team stares in disbelief at each other, enemy they wonder? Could they mean aliens? The squadron silently lives the room and heads toward the hangers to gear up. After gearing up, they get together and as always say a pray with each other and head towards there planes. Dan enters his plane and starts it up, such a lovely noise he thinks to himself as the plane powers up. He starts to maneuver his plan to runway one, he waits for the green light from the coordinator. He looks back and sees his team ready to go behind him, the coordinator gives him the go sign, and Dan pulls back the thrust stick and soars down the runaway, doing almost 150 mph before taking off. Dan heads towards the outer sphere of earth, owns he breaks orbit he'll circle the area as each squadron member one at a time does the same thing. Dan breaks orbit and looks into the vast limitless vacuum of space, little does Dan know what is about to be a part off. Within 20 minutes all the squadron is ready, they head towards the moon... what will they discover?
(To Be Continued)
User Reviews
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-06-27 00:02:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll try to make these actions more plausable in part 3, hopefully I can get my shit together with this story.
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Don't do part 3 yet. Part 1 was fine. Repost part 2 after you fix it out.
Submitted by GDR (user info) at 2006-06-26 20:48:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-06-26 17:36:37 (#)
Ranking: -2
Seriously think about this for a second.
Satelittes pick up stuff near the moon. -reasonable
Guard and Army units roll into major cities for protection- reasonable but not in your time frame
Civilians begin to riot in the cities because the national guard is there. From the sounds of it the guard didn't go in guns blazing. -why the hell would the civilians attack the guard? Makes no sense.
Doesn't sound plausable at all.
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I'll try to make these actions more plausable in part 3, hopefully I can get my shit together with this story.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-06-26 17:36:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Seriously think about this for a second.
Satelittes pick up stuff near the moon. -reasonable
Guard and Army units roll into major cities for protection- reasonable but not in your time frame
Civilians begin to riot in the cities because the national guard is there. From the sounds of it the guard didn't go in guns blazing. -why the hell would the civilians attack the guard? Makes no sense.
Doesn't sound plausable at all.
Submitted by GDR (user info) at 2006-06-26 16:37:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-06-26 16:31:15 (#)
Ranking: -2
"Boy this post sucked", JonnyX Said Loudly.
This needs a TOTAL RE-EDITING job - for the next one, I want you to write it, then re-write it, then re-write it AGAIN before you hit submit...okay?
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Ok ;) Hey, again it is my first attempt, so I'm not up to par with the good writers i guess :)
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-06-26 16:31:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"Boy this post sucked", JonnyX Said Loudly.
This needs a TOTAL RE-EDITING job - for the next one, I want you to write it, then re-write it, then re-write it AGAIN before you hit submit...okay?
Submitted by Skatch (user info) at 2006-06-26 16:28:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The problem I am having is that mass mobilization of National Guard troops in this time frame is impossible. Same with Active duty if there is an Army base near by. NG troops are mainly civilians, so there is recall which can take anywhere from four to 48 hours depending on the type of unit it is along with the distance of everyone to their duty station. Also, mass hysteria isn't going to take hold so quickly. There would be a state of confustion, then the looters would start leading to the Military shooting people down. Word would have to get out of human atrocities and then action would be taken. From the way I see it, the current state of the people would take, at a minimum, twelve hours from the stuff landing on the moon, and that is a very quick reaction time. Insanly quick. The best way I've seen something like this written (bad thing happens, military deployed, people go against military) was in The Stand by Stephen King. Though in that, it was plauge rather than possible aliens, so would be a bit longer because there was only quarenteen rather than marshal law
Submitted by GDR (user info) at 2006-06-26 16:13:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Imagine it like this, the public has no clue whats going on in the US, the EBS is just telling people to stay in doors, they are rioting "because" the national guard and army are moblizing in major cities without them know why, so the civilans of course are rioting, I probably should of went into more details that is my fault, but the basic reaction of the civilans is to riot because they have NO CLUE of why the army is moblizing, and basicly the general effect I'm try to start is no one knows what is actually going on, he has high clearance basicly around his project, his squardon is the only one able to react and this is why they dragged him back in, in the next part I'll try my best to go more in detail and make sense of what i left out and was lacking in this part.
Submitted by Skatch (user info) at 2006-06-26 15:48:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It seems as though there is a coup going on, but yet there is ambiguity as to the idea of aliens. If NATO and US satellites are picking this up now, why is there mass hysteria? If these aliens are implanting some kind of wave to make people riot, then fine, though it dosen't explain the protaginist's confustion. As a person with such apparent high security clearance, it would seem to me that he would know about anything going on before mass bedlam. The reactions of the general public don't match up with actions taking place. Can the world see what's happening on the news, or do you think as soon as a Emergency Broadcast came on everyone in Sin City would start to riot? It just might be true, but I doubt it.
Submitted by GDR (user info) at 2006-06-26 15:08:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DarthAwesome (user info) at 2006-06-26 14:36:45 (#)
Ranking: -2
god awful
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If didn't read the first part this one would make almost no sense whats so ever, but its your opinion.
Submitted by GDR (user info) at 2006-06-26 15:05:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Skatch (user info) at 2006-06-26 14:36:54 (#)
Ranking: -2
This makes no sense. Why does everyone suddenly know about this? Wouldn't there be something to keep the moon shit quiet for as long as possible? There is no plausability to this story. Also, typing in MS word and using Cut/copy usually catches most of my completely screwed up usages of words and mis-spellings. I suggest using it.
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I'm not sure what you mean by keeping the moon shit quiet, and by how does suddenly everyone know about this, Go in more detail so I can explain more to you and attempt to make corrections and notifcations in part 3, thanks. This is my first attempt at a large story so bare with me please.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-06-26 14:43:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
That Rory is such a CARD!
Always making jokes at serious times!!!
haha! He is my absolute Favorite!!
Submitted by Skatch (user info) at 2006-06-26 14:36:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This makes no sense. Why does everyone suddenly know about this? Wouldn't there be something to keep the moon shit quiet for as long as possible? There is no plausability to this story. Also, typing in MS word and using Cut/copy usually catches most of my completely screwed up usages of words and mis-spellings. I suggest using it.
Submitted by DarthAwesome (user info) at 2006-06-26 14:36:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
god awful
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-06-26 14:36:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Can't wait to see where this one goes!!
Keep em coming!