My LASIK surgery nightmare and how it ruined Caul's sexual fantasy. (4069 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 1.69 on 103 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Siren© (View user info) at 2006-06-26 21:18:08 EDT
On my last post, Caulaincourt revealed a picture of our Canadian & librarian snuggle time. But, it shall never be again. For I have undergone LASIK eye surgery!!! Dun dun dun!!!
It all began when I got my huge ass tax refund this year. I thought to myself, "Hmmm... what ridiculous thing can I purchase with this small fortune?"
I ran down a short list. Down payment for a new car? Nah. A new piano? I'd have to find a way to haul it- Nah. Aha! NEW EYBALLS! LAYZURED EYEBALLS!!! This is perfect! Something I've wanted for years- a problem solved- I complain about my glasses all the time! Woot!
So, I embarked. I saw one of those Lasik for $299! deals online, and went for it. The $299 price is A. per eye, and B. apparently for people who already have 20/20 vision. Unfortunately, both of my eyes were something like 20/400. It ended up being $1,700. :(
My dumb ass still wanted to do it. So, 2 weeks later, I was on the operating table. Well, more like the dentist chair. They tilted me back and gave me a teddy bear to hold during the surgery.
NOTE: I forgot to mention that the days leading up to the surgery I was a nervous wreck. Wouldn't you be if someone was scheduled to slice and dice your eyeballs? So, they wrote me a prescription sedative that I took before my appointment. RESUME.
Now here's what I don't understand. If they have to give people something to bear down on, then clearly this is an operation that should take place under anesthetics. I was awake for the entire thing.
First, they put numbing drops in my eyes. Then, they taped my eyelashes back and take a metal prongy brace thing to prop my eyelids (top and bottom) open! Have you ever seen Clockwork Orange? Sheesh... Next came the suction cup. It sucked my eyeball up so that the "laser" could slice a flap in my cornea. My vision went completely black except one small orange light I was supposed to focus on. They flapped the...flap, and dumped boric acid directly into my eyes. Hahahaha! No, I'm just kidding. They did some more zapping with the "laser" then used a basting brush to paint my corneas back into place. Phew.
2nd NOTE: The sedatives did not work at all. I hyperventilated, kicked and flailed the whole time. It could possibly be the most traumatic thing to have happened to me in my adult life.
I know I'm a wuss, but I really couldn't compose myself. I tried to breath, but I nearly collapsed a lung. The good news is, no more rain and fog obstructing the view through my glasses. No more kisses smashing my glasses into my face. No more air poof tests at the eye doctor.
And what do I have to show for it? Caulaincourt's crushed dreams. See his fantasy here (it's in the reviews) http://www.ubersite.com/m/89632
And the crushed dream below. I'm sorry Caul. Even worse, check out my huge hotdog fingers in this picture. Disgusting.
User Reviews
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-06-28 16:45:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you look grand sweetie..
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2006-06-28 16:18:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HA! Also, you should investigate whomever sold you that backwards shirt. WHAT A RIPOFF ARTIST!
Submitted by pragmatic (user info) at 2006-06-28 16:14:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I couldn't have lasik as my cornea was too thin, so I had PRK instead. Same difference except they cut off the top layer of cornea completely, as opposed to just sliding it off during surgery.
And here in NZ it cost me $4500, sounds like quite a different procedure too, less invasive. I had to get it done in order to be accepted into the police force.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2006-06-28 15:40:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I want eye lasers too.
Submitted by Happily_Agnostic (user info) at 2006-06-28 13:21:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2006-06-26 21:37:20 (#)
Ranking: 2
As a guy with pretty bad eyes, I really want to get this procedure at some point in my life. Hopefully within the next couple years.
Glad it went well.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-06-28 11:14:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think this is one of those things that is complete hell while it's going on, but then afterward you're glad you had it done.
I would need very strong drugs to do through this, hell I needed some pretty strong drugs just to get some kind of eye test that involved a big thing touching my eye because an uncle of mine who actually turned out to be fucking ADOPTED had some kind of genetic eye issue that freaked my mom out so she had me endure this eye torture test thing.
clearly the details are a bit sketchy
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2006-06-28 11:10:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hahahaha... I heart Danger.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-06-28 03:22:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHA
D_R is quite funny
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2006-06-28 02:53:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now that you got your sight all fixed proper like like city-folk you should check out a picture of williamson, see if he's as dreamy as you've imagined.
Bring a bucket.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2006-06-28 02:50:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, and Siren?
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2006-06-28 02:44:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So when you first looked at that photo did you go "OH NO MY EYES ARE FUCKED AGAIN!" because that has got to be the blurriest photograph I have ever seen. It looks like you took it immediately after having a steaming hot shower. Either that or the picture's fine and I need that lasik stuff myself.
Glasses are hot you dork.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-06-28 01:40:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm jealous, I wish I could afford Lasik. I fell asleep with my glasses on the other night, and I woke up at 3 in the morning with a stabbing pain in my butthole. I was getting attempted-sodomized by my own glasses. True story.
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-06-27 20:16:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You could break me in half. Some might consider this a good thing.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2006-06-27 20:01:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-06-27 15:30:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
OMG - SAM KINISON IS STILL ALIVE!!!!!!!
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Wow, that's the best one yet.
Tinactin- I wouldn't have called myself fat, but everyone else seems to think so. I understand if you never want to talk to me again. I miss you, btw.
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2006-06-27 19:03:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wait, you're not fat, are you?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-06-27 15:30:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OMG - SAM KINISON IS STILL ALIVE!!!!!!!
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-06-27 13:52:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-06-27 13:27:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm morbidly obese, Bradley, as the plethora of Adonises that grace this site will gladly attest to.
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Well, you're morbidly something...I'm just not sure what.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-06-27 13:48:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i found out my mom dated a greek back in her younger years. she said he had a big head, was fuzzy, and put too much crap in his hair. i asked her what his name was and she was like george somethingsomethingsomethingtoolongwithtoomanyletters-adakis, so they're all the same. but you're different! be proud. and you're not obese but you do look like one of the few girls in this world i think i'd be almost afraid of fighting. maybe it's your hair, it says "killer" to me.
also - still taking boob donations. blood type 0+. will it work?
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-06-27 13:34:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2006-06-27 12:41:05 (#)
Ranking: 0
It's FAT, Method!!! I'm FAT. FAT FAT FAT!!! I'm a FAT person! OBESE! I have several chins, saddle bags, love handles, flubber, blubber, back fat, pump fat, underarm jiggle, hail damage thighs, neck rolls, side boobs, bubble butt, cankles, extra padding, extra dimples, and an uncontrollable urge to eat everything in sight! Especially, young fit men, just like Miss Piggy. Because that's what we do. Get in my belly, Method!
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Ahahahaha!
Congrats on the eyeballs I suppose. My grandmother got the surgery but they screwed up and she had to get it done again.
Personally, I would rather spend the money on the piano but the cheapest piano I want is about $60,000 so I don't think I'd get very far with that. I might be able to buy a few keys though.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-06-27 13:33:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*attests*
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-06-27 13:27:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm morbidly obese, Bradley, as the plethora of Adonises that grace this site will gladly attest to.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-06-27 13:11:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2006-06-27 12:41:05 (#)
Ranking: 0
It's FAT, Method!!! I'm FAT. FAT FAT FAT!!! I'm a FAT person! OBESE! I have several chins, saddle bags, love handles, flubber, blubber, back fat, pump fat, underarm jiggle, hail damage thighs, neck rolls, side boobs, bubble butt, cankles, extra padding, extra dimples, and an uncontrollable urge to eat everything in sight! Especially, young fit men, just like Miss Piggy. Because that's what we do. Get in my belly, Method!
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Damn! IF this is a rough draft for a personal ad, it needs some work.
Furthermore, you're gonna have difficulty devouring Georgie in one sitting, being the exceptional hunk o' man he is.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-06-27 13:01:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd fuck you like a warmed up honeydew!
Glasses are sexy though, ever seen "Specs Appeal"? My favorite.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-06-27 12:58:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-06-27 12:54:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
Big girls give better head because they try harder to please you.
That, and they're always hungry.
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And they're grateful.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-06-27 12:54:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Big girls give better head because they try harder to please you.
That, and they're always hungry.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2006-06-27 12:42:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That was a joke, by the way. Playing on your "large" quotated euphemism.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2006-06-27 12:41:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's FAT, Method!!! I'm FAT. FAT FAT FAT!!! I'm a FAT person! OBESE! I have several chins, saddle bags, love handles, flubber, blubber, back fat, pump fat, underarm jiggle, hail damage thighs, neck rolls, side boobs, bubble butt, cankles, extra padding, extra dimples, and an uncontrollable urge to eat everything in sight! Especially, young fit men, just like Miss Piggy. Because that's what we do. Get in my belly, Method!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-06-27 12:39:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I really, really need to get my fucking prescription updated...
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-06-27 12:34:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-06-27 12:24:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
Are you hitting on my future wife SpecialK, Bradley? Cuz I'll fight you to the death for her. If it'll make you feel better, we'll pretend we're dueling over some current socio-political issue.
-----------------
Georgie boy, I hit on everyone...ESPECIALLY your future wives. ;)
I was planning on getting her into one of them thar 'menagerie of twos' or however you say that in Greek.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-06-27 12:31:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah, because all the guys on here are either dating ummm...."large" girls, or girls who have their balls in a vice
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-06-27 12:27:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You look great (but furious). I love your hair in this pic.
It's not the grown up men in actual relationships that make comments about peoples weight on here. Funny that.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-06-27 12:24:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Are you hitting on my future wife SpecialK, Bradley? Cuz I'll fight you to the death for her. If it'll make you feel better, we'll pretend we're dueling over some current socio-political issue.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-06-27 12:22:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2006-06-27 02:22:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-06-27 01:33:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, sometimes even the best fishermen catch a shark in their tuna net.
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hahahah...you shark you!!
Hey, wait a minute! What's wrong with ME!? :P
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Oh, where to begin...I think it would be easier to list what's RIGHT with you...allow me
1. Nothing
teehee!
-------------------
Hey now! That was just wrong!
Even sharks have feelings. :'(
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2006-06-27 12:12:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Haha, I saw that, precision. A friend sent it to me and I thought it was real for like a week. I'm so gullible (sp?).
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2006-06-27 11:25:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
What's a robut?
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2006-06-27 11:24:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Uber <3 Siren
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-06-27 11:09:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i dunno if any surgical procedure should be taken when you're getting a bargain....
can i have your boobs? or some of them? i take donations ladies. really i do.
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2006-06-27 11:07:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You could have saved a ton by doing this
http://www.lasikathome.com/
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-06-27 10:57:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Yeah Mike, I know the rule and so do you, but here in the hick backwaters of Illinois, there are some optometrists that do it anyways...which is all the more reason to proceed with caution when embarking on a LASIK investigation. Moral of the story: Know thy surgeon."
Fuck. That's not good.
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-06-27 10:43:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How do you like it now, 2-eyes?
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2006-06-27 10:39:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-06-27 09:52:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-06-27 09:45:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-06-27 08:51:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, I forgot to ask in my first review - for that price, did an optometrist do your surgery?
Reason I ask is because having an opthalmologist do Mrs. Thorns cost about 3200USD, but they have much more in-depth schooling and experience with eye surgery than the typical optometrist, so thus they command a higher price in the spirit of guaranteeing higher quality surgery and treatment.
-----------------------------------
Optometrists don't do surgery. They are not MD's. At least not in the U.S.
===================================
Yeah Mike, I know the rule and so do you, but here in the hick backwaters of Illinois, there are some optometrists that do it anyways...which is all the more reason to proceed with caution when embarking on a LASIK investigation. Moral of the story: Know thy surgeon.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-06-27 09:45:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-06-27 08:51:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, I forgot to ask in my first review - for that price, did an optometrist do your surgery?
Reason I ask is because having an opthalmologist do Mrs. Thorns cost about 3200USD, but they have much more in-depth schooling and experience with eye surgery than the typical optometrist, so thus they command a higher price in the spirit of guaranteeing higher quality surgery and treatment.
Optometrists don't do surgery. They are not MD's. At least not in the U.S.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-06-27 09:14:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
DEDOS SALCHICHAS BITCHES
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-06-27 09:03:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2006-06-27 08:58:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
Indeed, Capt. And I'm not sure what the official title of my Dr. was. I suppose I'm way too trusting. But, supposedly my doc had done thousands of procedures before mine, so I was trusting.
-----------------------
As long as it doesn't seem like you're looking through water, then I suppose it's all good. :)
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2006-06-27 08:58:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Indeed, Capt. And I'm not sure what the official title of my Dr. was. I suppose I'm way too trusting. But, supposedly my doc had done thousands of procedures before mine, so I was trusting.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-06-27 08:51:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, I forgot to ask in my first review - for that price, did an optometrist do your surgery?
Reason I ask is because having an opthalmologist do Mrs. Thorns cost about 3200USD, but they have much more in-depth schooling and experience with eye surgery than the typical optometrist, so thus they command a higher price in the spirit of guaranteeing higher quality surgery and treatment.
But, given that Thornette would've spent probably about that much on glasses from now until old age (assuming a new pair every 2 years), the cost justification is well worth it, which I imagine was at least some of your reasoning as well.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-06-27 08:45:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You know, the missus had Lasik done a week and a half ago, and MY first thought when they put the speculum on her eye was of "A Clockwork Orange", too. Scary how great minds think alike.
No major complications for Mrs. Thorns either, aside from a minor broken blood vessel due to dryeye, but that's healing nicely. Glad your results turned out well, too.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-06-27 07:44:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
There goes THAT fantasy.
You should have stuck with picture number one and left it at that, Polly.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2006-06-27 07:35:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thanks, Bert.
I'll have to check out this catarac video. It sounds oddly neat-o.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-06-27 06:26:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
That is the worst picture I have ever seen of you. It looks as if you'd staggered out of Royston Vasey.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-06-27 03:43:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Auto +2 Abbey Road.
Should that be -2 due to its reversedness(?) in the photo?
Regardless, +2 grown woman saying "woot".
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-06-27 03:38:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
pff is great
Submitted by WookieSuave (user info) at 2006-06-27 03:22:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
My eyes aren't shitty enough to justify spending the money.
Hope it works out in your best interest though!
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2006-06-27 02:22:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-06-27 01:33:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, sometimes even the best fishermen catch a shark in their tuna net.
-----
hahahah...you shark you!!
Hey, wait a minute! What's wrong with ME!? :P
-----
Oh, where to begin...I think it would be easier to list what's RIGHT with you...allow me
1. Nothing
teehee!
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-06-27 01:33:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2006-06-27 00:54:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, if I can attract people like you with my glasses, then i'm getting rid...i mean, KEEPING them :p
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Well, sometimes even the best fishermen catch a shark in their tuna net.
Hey, wait a minute! What's wrong with ME!? :P
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-06-27 01:25:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're cute baby. Don't let the haters bother you.
On a lighter note, cataract removal video is ultra cool. They break that shit up with a laser and suck it right out of your eye piece by piece. Then they insert a prosthetic known as an intraocular implant. It hooks right in there and stays put. After the procedure, you can proudly say that you are psuedophakic.
Sexy, huh?
Submitted by Herpes (user info) at 2006-06-27 01:10:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You should show me your tits. They look big. I'll bet you have big nipples.
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2006-06-27 00:54:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-06-26 23:29:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2006-06-26 23:10:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
my contacts screwed up my eyes big time, so now i have to wear glasses like a big geek. i wish i was brave enough to have lasik done..i'm not even sure if it would help me though..both my eyes are at -6. i'm blind :(
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Glasses are fucking sexy. Don't get rid of them. In fact, I propose they be the LAST thing you shed.
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Well, if I can attract people like you with my glasses, then i'm getting rid...i mean, KEEPING them :p
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2006-06-27 00:52:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
did you know that intercourse can result in babies?
did you?
DID YOU?
Submitted by ripple (user info) at 2006-06-27 00:47:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
haha. my dads an opthamologist, so at random points in time, my brother and i will get suckered into watching videos of him doing LASIK, PRK, cateract removal, glaucoma surgery, etc. usually we end up watching it on an oversize TV. its really pleasant, and not traumatic at all.
Submitted by kai070169 (user info) at 2006-06-27 00:18:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
fuck that lasik shit. squinting is free!
Submitted by tarnation (user info) at 2006-06-26 23:49:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i would have spazzed out too.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2006-06-26 23:46:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Right, cornea flap. It still makes me nauseated to think of it.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-06-26 23:36:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And by the way, they don't cut your eye open. If they did, all your vitreous fluid would leak out.
That's great fun if you're a serial killer and you're doing it to someone else, but it would suck horribly to be on the business end of that knife.
They slice your cornea with a laser, bend back the flap and laser underneath. They flip the cornea back down and it heals unbelievably quickly.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-06-26 23:29:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-06-26 22:24:39 (#)
Ranking: 0
Well I don't usually measure people in lbs, but if I had to estimate your weight I would say 120kg? Which a converter says is equal to 264.555lbs, is that about right?
--
Don't you ever tire of being a belligerent piece of shit?
Give up already.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-06-26 23:29:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2006-06-26 23:10:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
my contacts screwed up my eyes big time, so now i have to wear glasses like a big geek. i wish i was brave enough to have lasik done..i'm not even sure if it would help me though..both my eyes are at -6. i'm blind :(
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Glasses are fucking sexy. Don't get rid of them. In fact, I propose they be the LAST thing you shed.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-06-26 23:28:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm glad it worked out for you. It's become a pretty routine procedure for any doctor other than the extremely hungover or drunk one's.
What they don't tell you is, if they screw up the can't fix you.
Hopefully you'll have no scars to look through.
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2006-06-26 23:10:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
my contacts screwed up my eyes big time, so now i have to wear glasses like a big geek. i wish i was brave enough to have lasik done..i'm not even sure if it would help me though..both my eyes are at -6. i'm blind :(
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-06-26 23:07:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2006-06-26 22:21:04 (#)
Ranking: 0
Hahaha! ETS, spot on. People act like they've never seen a fat person before. And it's not like I'm 400 lbs. Who knew I'd be such a freak show? Zeus!
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For the record, you're not fat. You're not Twiggy thin either, but who gives a shit. Just try to stay healthy. That's the main thing.
In other words, snort lots of crank and you'll be just fine. :P
Submitted by MrFunions (user info) at 2006-06-26 22:40:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're pretty
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-06-26 22:32:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ye:)ah, I kn:(ow, it:|'s j:):)ust s:o har:(:(:(d n(ot to:( :) :):):
OH JE:);p;p:(US :( HE:):)::(:P ME:(:(:(:(
:P :) :( :) ;( ;) :( ;) ;O ;9 :P <|:)-{--<
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-06-26 22:28:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2006-06-26 22:27:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes, Caul. If anyone on this site fits that description, it's you, dear.
===
YES! Being validated by Internet strangers is crucial to my mental health! :-Þ
I wish I could stop making emoticons.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2006-06-26 22:27:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes, Caul. If anyone on this site fits that description, it's you, dear.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-06-26 22:27:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're not fat, you're just well padded.
Everyone else is just angry because if they lost weight, they'd still be ugly.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-06-26 22:24:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well I don't usually measure people in lbs, but if I had to estimate your weight I would say 120kg? Which a converter says is equal to 264.555lbs, is that about right?
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-06-26 22:22:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-06-26 22:19:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
They are all super intelligent, huge penised, GQ cover models.
===
well, you have to agree that I fit this description :-P
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2006-06-26 22:21:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hahaha! ETS, spot on. People act like they've never seen a fat person before. And it's not like I'm 400 lbs. Who knew I'd be such a freak show? Zeus!
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-06-26 22:19:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Noooooooo you're wrong Siren.
They are all super intelligent, huge penised, GQ cover models.
Just remember, reality is subjective.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-06-26 22:16:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2006-06-26 21:59:31 (#)
Ranking: 0
Christ, I forgot that everyone on this site is a sophmore in high school. How did a post about my eyeballs become about whether or not my boyfriend thinks I'm so fat that he has to pay PFF to wear purple lipstick and suck him off? Where's Pentameter or c1ndy or someone...? Little help please! I'm being taunted by a 14 year old transvestitute!
----------------
Now you know how I feel on every single one of my posts. It's like being badgered by a gang of hooligans with no teeth.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-06-26 22:13:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And I don't think I would EVER be willing to let someone cut my eye open.
Cut my eye open...
HOW
SICK
IS
THAT
SHIT
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-06-26 22:13:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh..yea, you mentioned Clockwork Orange too! (I hadn't read the post yet.) Must be a pretty common thought while undergoing LASIK.
Another thought that popped in my head was that I was in some twisted Pink Floyd video. The whole ordeal was pretty horrifying. My left eye is still not right to this day. I often get the sensation that my left eye is physcically larger than the right. :(
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-06-26 22:11:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, you do have potential.
That is all.
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-06-26 22:08:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I LOVE that album!!!
baoR yeddA RULES!!!
On another note...my LASIK surgery was like A Clockwork Orange. I also have a newfound respect for alien abductees now.
Wasn't it fucking wild how when they suctioned your eyeball and ripped it back the world just CRUMBLED!?
Fucking horrific.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-06-26 22:06:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-06-26 22:02:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
Siren...
We have the same phone.
Sony Ericsson Z520.
Just thought I'd share.
===
WOW! YOU DO?!?
Submitted by Zol (user info) at 2006-06-26 22:04:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
slightly fat girl -4
writing skills +2
humor +2
nice personality +2
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-06-26 22:03:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Jesus bitch, don't get so defensive, this post wasn't about your eyes, it was about you making a bad financial decision and being open to suggestions as to how you should have spent the money to better yourself
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-06-26 22:02:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Siren...
We have the same phone.
Sony Ericsson Z520.
Just thought I'd share.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2006-06-26 21:59:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Christ, I forgot that everyone on this site is a sophmore in high school. How did a post about my eyeballs become about whether or not my boyfriend thinks I'm so fat that he has to pay PFF to wear purple lipstick and suck him off? Where's Pentameter or c1ndy or someone...? Little help please! I'm being taunted by a 14 year old transvestitute!
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-06-26 21:53:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-06-26 21:50:08 (#)
Ranking: 0
Well of course he isn't going to just say he's unhappy, you have to pick up on the little things, like his hidden porn folder and purple lipstick on the shaft of his cock
==
sorry but...hahahahahahah
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-06-26 21:50:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well of course he isn't going to just say he's unhappy, you have to pick up on the little things, like his hidden porn folder and purple lipstick on the shaft of his cock
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2006-06-26 21:46:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What does that have to do with anything? And, my boyfriend of 2 years is happy with everything about me.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-06-26 21:45:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, at least you have huge boobs, I guess.
Now after your false representation, you could at least review this work of art http://www.ubersite.com/m/89623
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-06-26 21:44:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well you may be happy with your weight, but is your husband happy with your weight
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2006-06-26 21:44:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Unfortunately, Caul, I'm 9 times her size.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-06-26 21:42:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I imagined you more like this... http://www.tanashabitat.com/images/librarian.jpg
:-|
Submitted by SwashBlade (user info) at 2006-06-26 21:40:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 for useful info and sympathy.
I've been pondering getting my eyes lasered too. Now I'm having second thoughts...
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-06-26 21:39:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just don't wear my glasses. Problem solved. Driving at night? Fuck that shit. Everythings a blur anyways. Might as well be a dark blur.
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2006-06-26 21:37:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
As a guy with pretty bad eyes, I really want to get this procedure at some point in my life. Hopefully within the next couple years.
Glad it went well.
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2006-06-26 21:34:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
PFF, perhaps you're right. You should see my ass. It's totally African (only white). But the fact is, I just don't care. This was nothing more than a post. I'm perfectly happy with the way I am. Cheers.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-06-26 21:27:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have to be honest, you looked better in the mugshot librarian picture.
Hey, +2 anyway.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-06-26 21:24:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I had lasik, glad I got it. Your mistake was going to a place that had internet deals. I went to a real eye doctor and it was 400 per eye, and no worries.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-06-26 21:22:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Should have put it towards lipo