Political Correctness (596 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: Superheroes, Politiques
Rating: 1.6 on 21 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by LSD 420 (View user info) at 2006-06-28 10:07:29 EDT
So the other day I was driving down a street renowned in the neighborhood for it's Jewish population. I passed by a synagogue, capped skulls streaming out into the mid-day sun.
"NAZI-HATERS!" I yelled, striking a blow for free speech. Despite angered shouts, I sped on, confident in the truth and justice I had brought to the land.
My name is Politically Correct Man...defender of TRULY equal people. Abuser of free speech rights. Champion of the downtrodden.
The other day, I saw a cow grazing in a field. The beauty of nature unparalleled in it's native form... But then, I remembered what cows were made of. That's right: beef.
My car screeched to a halt, and I stepped out, slamming the door. I hopped the barbed wire fence easily and ran to the cow. I kicked it in the jaw.
"Don't you know that meat is MURDER?!"
I jabbed its eyes.
"BEEF IS WRONG, YOU MONSTER!"
"YOU'RE WEARING LEATHER?! HAVE YOU NO SHAME!?"
Then I started yelling at myself.
"What's wrong with you, Politically Correct Man? Cows are people too, you know! What, you got a problem with cows, huh, RACIST?! You disgust me..."
I walked away with my dignity. Driving away, I couldn't help but cluck my tongue at the absolute NERVE I had shown myself. Tsk tsk tsk... SOME people, huh?
Last week I overheard a man commenting on the attractiveness of another man in a Starbucks. So I asked him,
"Sir, are you a homosexual?"
"No of course not. You want to fight?" He said in anger.
"Then you're a homophobe, huh? Is that your deal? You sicken me..."
"Well now hold on, just because I-"
"What? what?"
"Well now hold on, I'm not a homophobe...I love gay people!"
"Faggot!" I screamed. "You tryin to destroy the holy sanctity of marriage? I won't have you infringing on my children's rights to get married as god intended!"
I walked away, completely distraught...what's the world coming to?
When there are no REAL superheros left to defend you, you can turn to everybody's favourite radical defender of EQUAL rights...
User Reviews
Submitted by d_prime (user info) at 2006-09-15 19:52:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
0 for the rest of the post
+2 for the homosexual bit
Submitted by laika (user info) at 2006-09-15 19:36:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
stupid and unfunny. i cant believe this made anyone's "best of" list.
Submitted by Snark (user info) at 2006-08-15 18:48:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-06-29 07:36:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Kin hilarity.
Submitted by ticklish_squirrel (user info) at 2006-06-28 19:26:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I giggled as someone walked by my office. Then his confused expression made me chuckle! =D Thanks for that!
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-06-28 19:07:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2006-06-28 17:38:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
The four coolest guys on this site are the Cyst Master, me, awesome_face, and assholy
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No fruggin shit.
This was awesome. Cows are assholes.
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2006-06-28 18:01:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
total shit
Submitted by LSD420 (user info) at 2006-06-28 17:38:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The four coolest guys on this site are the Cyst Master, me, awesome_face, and assholy
Submitted by tinactin (user info) at 2006-06-28 14:03:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I remembered what cows are made of. That's right: beef"
Submitted by livEvil (user info) at 2006-06-28 13:54:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you humor me
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-06-28 13:26:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-06-28 12:46:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OMG RETALIATORY -2
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-06-28 12:30:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sinna (user info) at 2006-06-28 11:42:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by richsghostdog (user info) at 2006-06-28 11:04:21 (#)
Ranking: 2
Mortal Combat
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Mortal Kombat.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-06-28 11:23:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
the cow part was hilarious
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-06-28 11:17:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I read it, I was amused. I was a bit afraid to see what picture was attached but it all worked out in the end.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-06-28 11:16:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking Jews. Like they have anything to be upset about.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-06-28 11:09:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2006-06-28 10:13:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
It's been a long day and this was funny as 'owt.
Submitted by richsghostdog (user info) at 2006-06-28 11:04:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
POLITICAL CORRRECTNESS=INSANITY AND FRUSTRATION FOR ALL
Marilyn Manson, Kid Rock, Alice Cooper, Ice Cube, Ice T, Mortal Combat and PS2 San Andreas are not the cause of Columbine type episodes of violence....political correctness and "can't we all jus' get along?" are.If everyone wasn't so fucking frustrated trying to figure out the correct thing to say/do so as not to offend anyone or anything (God forbid!)(shit! I just offended 100,000 Jews, Muslims, & buhdists) valium, zoloft, ambien and prozac sales would drop through the floor and everyone would get along a hell of a lot better.People were happier when they were allowed to say what they pleased, have a fistfight if they felt it necessary and then shook hands and had a drink together. AAARRRGHHHH, dont get me started...+2 for elevating my blood pressure.
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-06-28 10:47:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Needs more cock.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2006-06-28 10:13:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's been a long day and this was funny as 'owt.