New World Order (Some God-Awful Poetry, and a Camwhore For Phuzzygish's Uberdirectory) (437 hits)
Category: HumorRating: 2 on 3 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Average_Dan (View user info) at 2006-06-30 04:14:57 EDT
D-Prime Madness: http://www.ubersite.com/m/89610
"Oh Shit" I screamed as I was startled. Swiftly, I awoke.
"Shut up young man, the master wishes that to you he'll spoke".
I shook my head, confused at this light stranger in my room,
Who said his master wished to "Spoke" to me, I would presume.
"Surely you mean 'speak' back when you mentioned of you master,
I hate to mix up tenses; it could mean quite mass disaster".
"Be still you fool", he boomed and I fell speechless in my bed,
"He who is, and am, and will be, wills just what I said,
So if you have a qualm then I would just like to suggest,
To take it up with him, but sir, you'll stir a hornet's nest."
Far be it for a man like me to cause any commotion,
And so I sat and waited for "The Master" with devotion.
But once he entered into my fair home, I must confess,
The thoughts I had to who this may have been I reassessed.
For now before me stood a man you know now as "Yahweh",
Had chosen to appear before me as one Dr. Dre.
"And how then may one know that he was Alpha and Omega
The one that Mary held in Michelangelo's Pieta?"
And so I say to you who choose to doubt me in my claim,
If I am lying, may the Lord give me some fresh Ptomaine.
And when he entered he threw up his black hand to his ear,
It must have been a sign for his dear help to disappear.
The moment that his deputy was hidden from my view,
He made the purpose of his visit plain by saying, "You,
you need to help me start anew", his planned out speech was stammered,
"For when I made this world, I must admit, I was quite hammered.
I need a New World Order for another breed of man,
And when I brought it up somebody mentioned Average_Dan.
What better man than he to give suggestions for a world,
Of course it may have been who'd look the best as Flowergirl,
At second cousin Peter's wedding later in the week,
But I can't really listen whilst I'm watching Dawson's Creek.
And so I've come to pay a visit to my council on,
The new world that I hadn't planned to make an order on."
I thought about his situation and I must admit,
I run across this problem often, sure it's a hardship,
But fuck it, I've been dealing with mistakes since God knows when,
Why shouldn't he too, when he's made the world that we live in?
"Sorry Christ, I'm sad to say, I cannot bail you out"
And took a surly swig right from the can of Guiness-Stout.
That lay upon the table standing right beside my bed,
And drifted back to slumber wishing I was still breast-fed.
It turns out none of this was true, it was all but a vision,
And thank god that we're in the golden age of television.
'Cause otherwise you'd count on these lame posts for entertainment,
And then there'd be no reason left for human-kind sustainment.
So even if your life is getting to the point of taking,
Just "Skate it off" and quit your whiny, pussy, bellyaching.
So now that here I am without a chance in hell to score,
I'd like to offer Phuzzygish a d'rectory camwhore.
User Reviews
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2006-07-03 05:41:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
didn't read the poetry, because I have no time, but damn your hot. thank you for making me smile!
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-06-30 04:18:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
your room is upside down
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-06-30 04:17:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Holy huge photo batman..