FilthyAssistant + Guacamole = GOOD TIMES! (1331 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 0.75 on 63 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by JonnyX (View user info) at 2006-06-30 12:22:46 EDT
Why not make some guacamole this weekend?
Here is JonnyX's recipe for California-Style Guacamole:
6 medium size avocadoes (I prefer Hass)
Cube the avocadoes into very small chunks, like say a quarter of an inch - DO NOT smash them up into a paste.
Take one large tomato, and slice. I like to remove the skin off the tomato, but that's just me.
Take a bunch of cilantro - I use about half the bunch - and chop the leaves finely.
(dude, only use FRESH cilantro, never that dried stuff, you can taste the difference)
Gently mix together the avocado, tomato and cilantro. Add 1 tsp pepper, and 1 tsp garlic salt.
Lastly, add 1/4 cup lemon juice, and 1/4 cup lime juice. The citrus element is the kicker, it makes the guac BUST OUT ALL OVER.
Serve with white corn chips.
Ladies, if you need further cooking instruction, let me know, and I will come to your house...
----
I didn't know FilthyAssistant was a cheerleader, but this sure looks like her...
User Reviews
Submitted by kybernetikum (user info) at 2006-10-12 20:47:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-07 16:52:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I ate my weight in guacamole this week.
Naturally, I thought of you while I diddled furiously.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-04 10:10:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There's nothing to discuss. See below. If you're a big boy you can figure it out. The end.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2006-07-04 10:03:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
say maybe my last post.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2006-07-04 10:03:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Seriously Sac if you want to discuss this we should maybe not do it on Jon boys post. I would like to hear why you think I am annoying.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2006-07-04 09:59:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just so you know, I'm sorry I'm really sorry I'll go back to my hole and never bother you again.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-04 09:51:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Poots- Just so you know- you've become annoying as fuck.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2006-07-04 09:49:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you don't have to read the post just his comments.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2006-07-04 09:48:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
read my last post then read Jonny-sweep the legs-x comment then reread this turd.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-07-04 09:36:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
What set Poots off?
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2006-07-04 09:28:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
meant that to read *fishbowlbellies*
You see what happens when your a dumbass fishbowlbelly? Look man you may be big shit on this site, the ratings on this post reflect that, but I don't give a shit if you give a +2 -2 thumb up my butt(oh my that tickles). What I do care about is the new people that may be coming to this site. They may be nervous and have a talent for writing that YOU will never know because YOU judge people before they are given a fair chance. This post about gaucamole really really sucks. I may have problems with punctucation spelling and grammar but I DON'T POST ABOUT GAUCAMOLE!!! At least not yet...Look man I'm going to level with you if someone has fun and doesn't hurt anybody, even on this gaucamole recipe posting site of yours, you don't have the right to make them feel like crap about it. NO MATTER HOW BAD IT ANNOYS YOU! Or maybe you do who gives a shit really? Just keep your fucking fingers on your gaucamole and keep the posts rolling.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2006-07-04 09:13:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-07-03 13:11:52 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2006-07-03 13:07:25 (#)
Ranking: -2
I took it and you came back for more as if it were a chat room. I rule you I know you can't get enough of the poots man. It's cool baby you come chat with poots anytime. And for your info a BUTT LOAD of people use this site as a chat room.
-----
auto -2 for not knowing the difference between AIM and Uber.
READ THAT SHIT DUMB ASS.
/rubs fishbowlheads face in it
and I'm spent...
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2006-07-04 08:49:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Johnny Boy the pipes the pipes are calling youuuuuuuuuuuu..Thanks for making me laugh Johnny I really can't stop thinking about it.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2006-07-04 08:27:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2006-07-03 13:25:01 (#)
Ranking: -2
I guess this is the guacamole recipe posting site. My bad dude I din't mean to to throw a wrench in your cogs.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2006-07-04 07:28:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh man, I awoke with a smile on my face this morning thinking about gauc this morning.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2006-07-03 13:56:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
let's be pals
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2006-07-03 13:56:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
and another
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2006-07-03 13:56:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
have another if this is what you want.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2006-07-03 13:54:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
smile smile smile..I'm sorry for my original -2 it was made in anger and retaliation. That leads to the dark side. But now I can't quit smiling because your so dumb....
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2006-07-03 13:36:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm sorry x-man I know I'm beating a dead horse here but I can't quit thinking aout your fucking guac. I bet it was good and all but come on man COME ON!
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2006-07-03 13:29:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I made my guacamole this weekend-it was delicious. HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
that's such a profound statement.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2006-07-03 13:27:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
oh that's good shit I hope you were joking with your comment xman. I can't stop laughing now because of it. Either your a brilliant brilliant man, which your not, or you have your head so far up your ass your head is made out of an old fish bowl. nice titties though
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2006-07-03 13:21:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
And I believe this is the perfect post to do it on you AIM wanna be mother fucker go suck a fuck.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-07-03 13:05:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I made my guacamole this weekend - it was delicious.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-07-01 09:04:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Best guac recipe ever, from what I can remember of my mate making it once:
Mash up some avocados
Pour lemon juice over it
ABOUT A LITRE OF FUCKING TABASCO SAUCE
He didn't stop pouring the stuff in, so much so that I tasted it with my eyes shut and a glass of milk handy. Turns out it didn't taste spicy at all, something about guac that neutralises it or something. But it did taste better than any other guacomole I've tried since.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-07-01 08:12:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by ThoreauMe (user info) at 2006-06-30 23:14:21 (#)
Ranking: -2
One day, lil' jonny, you will wake up with a strange stickiness between your legs after falling asleep the night before with Macy's underwear ads spread across your hairless chest.
Then, and only then, will uber be spared these puerile representations of your adolescent fantasies.
One must shake ones head in bemusement when a child, fascinated by his own excretions, smears himself and the walls with his own feces and proudly calls it art.
jon-boy, your boring, diarrhetic posts flow down the walls of uber like a river of shit.
You are laughable.
_________
Fear not. Rivers of shit provide sustenance for ThoreauMe.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-07-01 07:09:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Just worked out who you are.
Interesting.
Submitted by ThoreauMe (user info) at 2006-06-30 23:14:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
One day, lil' jonny, you will wake up with a strange stickiness between your legs after falling asleep the night before with Macy's underwear ads spread across your hairless chest.
Then, and only then, will uber be spared these puerile representations of your adolescent fantasies.
One must shake ones head in bemusement when a child, fascinated by his own excretions, smears himself and the walls with his own feces and proudly calls it art.
jon-boy, your boring, diarrhetic posts flow down the walls of uber like a river of shit.
You are laughable.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-06-30 22:04:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would fuck a bowl of your guacamole.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-06-30 19:44:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by BrownEyedGirrl (user info) at 2006-06-30 16:26:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
mmmm guacamole..... thanks for the recipe...
how ripe should the avacado's be??
-------
pretty ripe...put em in a paper bag for a day if they're not ready.
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-06-30 19:11:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2006-06-30 15:50:40 (#)
Ranking: -2
Lame content? Check.
Pointless picture? Check.
Jesus, when you post something good it's fine, but this shit is lame, o wise uber sheriff.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-06-30 18:56:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-06-30 16:22:29 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-06-30 15:11:51 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-06-30 14:25:58 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-06-30 14:01:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
Just curious as to why you don't puree your guac
--------
because you're supposed to use a mortar and pestle for it.
----
no, this is California-style, you don't mash it, you leave it like little nuggets of avocado.
It has a different mouth-feel to it.
Just trust ol' Jonny on this one, eh?
-------
if you mash it with a mortar and pestle it still has avocado nuggets. in it. kinda like lumpy homemade mashed potatoes.
-------
Katy, darling, do I go around telling you how to give blowjobs? No?
All right then.
Submitted by BrownEyedGirrl (user info) at 2006-06-30 16:26:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
mmmm guacamole..... thanks for the recipe...
how ripe should the avacado's be??
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-06-30 16:22:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-06-30 15:11:51 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-06-30 14:25:58 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-06-30 14:01:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
Just curious as to why you don't puree your guac
--------
because you're supposed to use a mortar and pestle for it.
----
no, this is California-style, you don't mash it, you leave it like little nuggets of avocado.
It has a different mouth-feel to it.
Just trust ol' Jonny on this one, eh?
-------
if you mash it with a mortar and pestle it still has avocado nuggets. in it. kinda like lumpy homemade mashed potatoes.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-06-30 16:17:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't like it with onions.
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2006-06-30 15:50:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Lame content? Check.
Pointless picture? Check.
Jesus, when you post something good it's fine, but this shit is lame, o wise uber sheriff.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-06-30 15:49:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Sometimes I put onions in, but usually not - actually dried onions work better for this - you can add a quarter cup if you're so inclined."
Sometimes i like to stick my penis in the guacamole and twirl it around until it catches on fire.
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-06-30 15:43:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate guacamole but I'll bet mine is better than yours. A Mexican lady at work taught me how to make it. It's spicy and kind of lemony.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-06-30 15:11:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-06-30 14:25:58 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-06-30 14:01:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
Just curious as to why you don't puree your guac
--------
because you're supposed to use a mortar and pestle for it.
----
no, this is California-style, you don't mash it, you leave it like little nuggets of avocado.
It has a different mouth-feel to it.
Just trust ol' Jonny on this one, eh?
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-06-30 14:25:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-06-30 14:01:08 (#)
Ranking: 2
Just curious as to why you don't puree your guac
--------
because you're supposed to use a mortar and pestle for it.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-06-30 14:18:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
That looks nothing like Filthy.
And I don't even wanna know what guacamole is.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-06-30 14:09:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-06-30 13:12:05 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-06-30 12:40:42 (#)
Ranking: -2
no onions?
------
Sometimes I put onions in, but usually not - actually dried onions work better for this - you can add a quarter cup if you're so inclined.
--
FINE! I WILL!
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-06-30 14:01:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just curious as to why you don't puree your guac?
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2006-06-30 13:50:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This was bollocks.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2006-06-30 13:49:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
What the fuck??
Seriously, no. I'm twice her size, my hair isn't blonde and I don't have a semi-jewish nose.
See for yourself: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v169/filthyassistant/camwhore.jpg
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-06-30 13:27:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Whoa. What is wrong with that poor girl's face?
the guac recipe looks decent though.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-06-30 13:23:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
that is NOT Filthy, blasphemer! :)
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-06-30 13:22:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 Guacamole
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-06-30 13:20:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for the recipe.
You really think that looks like Filthy? Nah. Even though I think she's a bitch sometimes she's much prettier than that skank.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-06-30 13:13:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HEY WAIT, NO GARLIC? WTF?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-06-30 13:12:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-06-30 12:40:42 (#)
Ranking: -2
no onions?
------
Sometimes I put onions in, but usually not - actually dried onions work better for this - you can add a quarter cup if you're so inclined.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-06-30 13:04:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bacon ruins guac. It's not necessary.
I add a bit of garlic and a pinch of cumin to mine, as well as some green onion, and I leave out the tomato. Otherwise, this is good to go.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-06-30 12:58:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My libido thanks you.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-06-30 12:50:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Go back to sea world.
Submitted by Webered (user info) at 2006-06-30 12:50:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-06-30 12:34:35 (#)
Ranking: 0
JEFF....
LORBER....
FUSION....
-------
What?
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2006-06-30 12:50:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
shit I forgot about the gravy.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2006-06-30 12:49:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Potato bacon bombs coverd in sugar, coffe, renedered pork fat and 2 layers of breading. On my other recipe I forgot to add in the most key ingredient, processed cheese. Get one of those Ron Propeil flavor injectors and squirt the yummy processed cheese directly into the potato bacon bombs.
that's my girlfriend cheering up there.
Submitted by v8lover (user info) at 2006-06-30 12:45:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fag.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-06-30 12:40:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
no onions?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-06-30 12:36:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by polymorph505 (user info) at 2006-06-30 12:26:30 (#)
Ranking: 0
I expected a manlier guac out of you. Maybe my standards are too high.
----
well, add more lemon juice then...what do you mean by 'manlier'? Add bacon to it?
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-06-30 12:35:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was shit, Johny. BUT IT'S FRIDAY SO WHO THE FUCK CARES???
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I HAVE TO GHOST A MACHINE THIS AFTERNOON! +2's FOR ALL!!!!!!!
Submitted by livEvil (user info) at 2006-06-30 12:34:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
guacalicious!
Submitted by polymorph505 (user info) at 2006-06-30 12:26:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I expected a manlier guac out of you. Maybe my standards are too high.