Uber-Go-Round Round 2 results, Round 3 Match ups and Famous Titties (1354 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: competition-post
Rating: 1.05 on 66 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by scourge - because Brdn_Nkd is lazy (View user info) at 2006-06-30 13:27:31 EDT
Gather my children and you shall hear...ummm...a bunch of shit about a contest.
Seriously, I WAS going to post the next Great American Novel today, but here we are...
The lowdown:
B said, 'Fuck these guys. I wash my hands of this bullshit comp. Matt, you win due to the sheer amount of awesome that is YOU.' Then he kicked a puppy and stomped off. Poor puppy.
I said, 'But of course.'
It's true.
No it's not.
I lied.
Brdn is busy today, something about a bottle of absinthe and a legion of Thai hookers. All I heard over the phone, after he asked me to post this for him, was some giggly Asian voices and something about '...sucky, sucky, we love you big long time Mr. American fucky man guy...'
SOOO, I'm sure he's having a good time with that.
The last round was brutal.
Here's the skinny on Round 2, a Western Extravaganza, along with my brilliant observations and commentary on each piece:
-------------
BIRTHDAY HAT
Davros: http://www.ubersite.com/m/89740 - WINNER
Dave rocked out with his cock out. That's all you need to know. Go read this shit, NOW.
MyNameIsTim: FORFEIT
What the hell, Tim? You think you're too fucking good to write in a comp? That, my good sir, is bogus.
-------------
SCUFFS ON THE WALL
Heimdallsman: http://www.ubersite.com/m/89783
Heimdallsman loses to the coffee fetcher, but the ancient Uber user gets a bye to mosey on in to the next round. CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
READ THIS SHIT.
goferforhire: http://www.ubersite.com/m/89711 - WINNER
Gofer takes it over the long lost Heimdallsman. Something, something, my attention span is starting to reach its limits. READ THIS POST.
-------------
YOUR SPARE CHANGE BOUGHT ME GLORY
HighVoltage900: http://www.ubersite.com/m/89757 - WINNER
Fophair does his thing. He does it well. (I'm guessing here. I actually didn't read this one. BUT YOU SHOULD. Sorry, I just didn't have time, pal.)
Circe: FORFIET
What the deuce? Thanks a lot HV, your smarmy mouth prevented Circe from posting. GO READ EVERYTHING SHE HAS EVER POSTED, you'll feel good about it. If you do maybe she'll take back her comment about not entering competitions anymore.
-------------
A Walk in the Park
Kaos-King: http://www.ubersite.com/m/89684 - WINNER
kk does what he always does, Cthulu and blood, people doing nasty shit to other people. Hell there could even be directions in here on how to raise the dead. Don't you want to see your grandma again? DON'T YOU MISS HER? I'm pretty sure that this isn't a part of the story, but you'll never know unless you go READ THE GOD DAMN THING, will you?
Gravitas: http://www.ubersite.com/m/89702
An offering in verse. The story a sheriff and his gun wielding ways. I, for one, LOVED IT.
-------------
TIP TOEING THROUGH THE TULIPS
ghola: http://www.ubersite.com/m/89746 - WINNER
Though containing a photographic representation of perhaps one of the most beautiful men to have ever walked the planet, this was obviously the post of lesser quality in this matchup. I have no idea how the fuck this thing won, but somehow it did.
scourge: http://www.ubersite.com/m/89747 - SHOULD HAVE WON, FUCK YOU GUYS
ghola is hot. If I wasn't married I'd move to Georgia and be her sugar daddy. It's true. Go look at her pretty face in this post, which is easily the best thing to have ever been posted on Uber. Ever.
--------------------------
That does it for that round.
NOW, here's the shakedown for you, my motherfucking homies, of Round 3. (I am in a swearing mood today; you ever have one of those? I really don't care if you do or not. I'm much too self involved to care about YOU and FEELINGS and WORLD HUNGER and OTHER CRAP. Fuck that shit. Seriously.)
Your Genre: ROMANCE
Spin a tale of LURVE by Wednesday the 5th of July. Do it by 11:59 p.m. CST, or you're fucking shit out of luck, hear me?
Round 3 titles and match ups.
Choke On Air
Kaos-King vs. HighVoltage900
The Merry-go-round
Ghola vs. Heimdallsman
Voice of Dissent
Davros vs. goferforhire
If anybody wants to do an exhibition round, let me know in the reviews and we'll whip something up.
Oh yeah, B says: write real good <-- his exact words
Good luck to all you guys. Have fun writing on July 4th while I'm BBQing, drinking beer outside in the sun, and watching fireworks.
Suckers.
User Reviews
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2007-05-18 12:53:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-10-31 22:31:26 EST (#)
Ranking: -1
I've had it up to here with your shennanigans, I'm going through and -1ing ALL of your posts!
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-27 14:43:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I LOVE MYSELF!!
SIGNED,
SCOURGEY
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-10-27 13:46:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-10-27 13:39:58 (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/95020#2202073
banning attempt
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-21 16:23:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-21 14:16:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
The following message was sent:
From: Matt<uberscourge.at.gmail.com>
To: ubersite-contact.at.cilfone.com
Subject: [ubersite] The script is talking to you man, the script is talking
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bart/site admin/whirlycott/whoever the hell reads these,
I don't want the ability to rate anymore.
I don't want a zero rating, a'la pff and shandy however
-------------------------------------
I meant about me not being included with shandy and pff
Submitted by Dead_0hi0_Sky (user info) at 2006-07-09 23:50:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
where's the tits?
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-07-09 23:37:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
kaos the story is designed to entertain the reader. If someone didn't like my story, it is my failing as a writer to reach out to them.
Either way, I am going to spain and france on wednesday (I forgot when I entered) so I can't continue anyway.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-07-09 15:42:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HV900 - as far as I'm concerned, if I win it's only because I posted so much earlier than you. In my opinion you wrote a far superior story. Jaysis, that tale was fucking good...
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-07-09 14:34:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-05 18:38:12 (#)
Ranking: 0
Davros
http://www.ubersite.com/m/90065
goferforhire
http://www.ubersite.com/m/89971
*************
ghola
http://www.ubersite.com/m/90043
Heimdallsman
FORFEIT
*************
kaos-king
http://www.ubersite.com/m/90015
HighVoltage900
http://www.ubersite.com/m/90195
-------------------
Voting closes at 8am CST I think, results and final round Famous Titties due tomorrow around Noon, same time zone.
Still a chance to vote.
-Dave
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-08 04:06:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'M SICK OF HAVING TO ASK WHEN RATINGS CLOSE, GODDAMMIT.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-07-08 01:52:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Agh I got legitimately hamstrung. My hat off to Kaos who, unless something monumental happens, has me beat fair and square.
But really I don't mind, but I would like people to read my work I tried extremely hard.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-07-07 21:30:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/90195
THERE OKAY!
Kaos I want to commend you. I haven't read your post yet but I will. But I sat there with a hundred story ideas and thought about each one. To each one I said "No. It's not good enough to beat Kaos....I have to think more."
And I came up with this.
I'm very proud of this.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-07 15:02:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HV- I'm sorry I gave you teh ghey.
Ghola gave it to me with her pretty.
LINKWHORE
http://www.ubersite.com/m/90122
That is all.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-07-07 14:44:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh Scourge,
One of my friends was googling Average_Dan, and they came across teh story of when you killed me. They thought I was dead. I wasn't. I think they were disappointed.
Thank you though.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-07-06 19:21:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry brdn my birthday was the 2nd and things have been a little hectic. I should have it finished by tonight on my BRAND SPANKING NEW PC.
Seriously though, I have been having trouble getting internet connection, things look good now.
I am now going to cough and mention the godly PC I just got *coughcoughXPS600cough*
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-07-06 10:49:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sledg says he forfiets. that leaves only HV to post. Dear HV please post your submission by 11:59 p.m. firday. i will post final round match ups and this round results on monday about noonish.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-05 18:38:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Davros
http://www.ubersite.com/m/90065
goferforhire
http://www.ubersite.com/m/89971
*************
ghola
http://www.ubersite.com/m/90043
Heimdallsman
What the deuce? He tells me he likely will not be posting...
*************
kaos-king
http://www.ubersite.com/m/90015
HighVoltage900
I know this monkey can crank a story out on time, so what's the fucking hold up?
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-07-05 18:26:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mine is up.
Written in an airport lounge accomanied by a couple of pints of inspiration.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/90065
Apologies for the NSFW.
-Dave
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-07-05 15:31:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Thanks for answering my question on my last post.
That is F'ed up.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-07-05 13:21:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
well i posted, cause i thought we weren't gonna.
i would've spent more time on it otherwise. o hell, it doesn't matter.
apparently sledge is gonna forfeit either way.
my office sucks today + i am dying.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-07-05 13:15:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shit, extend the deadline...
But only because I now have the image of Ghola in a sweltering 92 degree office...
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-07-05 13:06:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Are we extending the deadline? I'm only cool with it if Kaos is, if not I have a story I can do now. It's just a matter of doing it.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-07-05 13:00:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-05 12:53:01 (#)
Ranking: 0
POSTS OF ME ARE THE ONLY THINGS WORTH LOOKING AT ON UBER.
---------------
i eat posts of you for dinner.
really.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-05 12:53:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
POSTS OF ME ARE THE ONLY THINGS WORTH LOOKING AT ON UBER.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-07-05 12:39:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/90043
-----
here. sorry for this. yes i am.
guess it's better than my last post of scourge the pirate.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-07-05 11:55:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/89083:
"The difference this time is that (assuming we get enough players to make it worthwhile) there will be a prize. I will award the prize to the person who makes it through all of the rounds to be number one."
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-05 11:54:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The prize is an autographed picture of me.
Nobody wants to win.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-07-05 11:52:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wait, there's a prize?
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-07-05 11:50:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
two of you have already posted, two I have not heard from, and two are telling me that the holiday fucked them all up.
Of the six of you left is there anyone who would oppose extending the deadline to friday night? i think given the weekend it'd be fair but I'd like some consensus. you are after all competing for a prize.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-07-05 11:45:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you make me sad. finish dear one so that I have a reason to continue this exsistence.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-07-05 11:40:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i don't know if i have enough time to finish this, with the 4th of july and all. the a/c blew out at work today and it's 92 degrees inside.
i'd really hate to forfeit.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-07-05 11:36:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
it's getting there
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-05 11:35:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
That is more like it.
Glad you got your shit in order.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-07-05 11:28:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I did not mean for hat to happen and will now grossly grovel to beg your forgiveness.
Dear Scourge - because Brdn_Nkd is lazy,
I hate you so much for calling me lazy. I worked my ass off this weekend. I partied thrusday night until 4:30 a.m., got up at 7:30 to go get the biggest fucking moving truck ever, started loading said truck, went to laywer's office at ten to complete some divorce shit, continued loading the tcuk at 12, went to closing on the sale of my house at 2 and then finihed moving all my shit out of my house and into my new hovel until 8:30 at which time i returned the truck and went to the bar. that's just friday bitch! I could not have possibly posted this then. i didn't even know where my compy was!
but all of that aside I do appreciate you posting this. you made friday so easy for me that I was able to get thouroughly drunk that evening. YOU GOT ME DRUNK!! THANKS!!
love you long time Lazy_Nkd
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-05 10:32:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-07-05 09:58:35 (#)
Ranking: 0
=========
A zero? I postponed posting the next Great American Novel so I could do this for you and you give me a zero?
You realize this means war, don't you?
Oh wait...now I don't care any more. Disregard.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-07-05 10:08:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I forgot that it was due today.
Well shit. Time for some last minute magic hopefully.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-05 10:02:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
He posted for you and you didn't even +2 him??? You suck, brdn.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-07-05 09:58:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
although everything scourge said was complete and utter bullshit I want to thank you for taking care of this. I had to move this weekend. moving sucks in so many ways that I will not bother to recount them for you. love you long ime and good luck to those of you who moved on.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-07-04 08:56:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Here's mine, you motherbitches...
http://www.ubersite.com/m/90015
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-07-03 02:41:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
God damn it, I really should have checked this sooner.
-Dave
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-07-03 00:46:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/89971
It's early, but I'm going to be gone for a few days.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-06-30 19:31:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HV900, I have enough emotional baggage to write a romance piece that would make anyone weep big salty emo tears.
But I wouldn't want to do that to people, so I'll go easy on you...
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-06-30 19:18:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-06-30 15:08:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
I got money on high voltage
-----
I have a fan! And money on me!
Licious it is not about writing, it's about SHOVING KAOS KING'S FACE IN THE FUCKING DIRT!
Uhm I mean....
I like encouraging writers.
Yeah....
FUCK YOU KAOS KING YOUR GOING DOWN!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-06-30 18:34:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2006-06-30 18:25:23 (#)
Ranking: 0
This contest is stupid. Of course your results are going to be skewed, if you want to be cool on Uber, you have to rate by author, not post. Haha. I love the word 'skewed.'
But at least you're doing SOMETHING.
==========
Thing is, brdn's comps are about getting good writers to write- and they produce some really quality stuff. I don't think it's really about winning, so much as encouragement and structure to write.
Now all you attention whores in this comp tell me how wrong I am, and that it's all about the glory.
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2006-06-30 18:25:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This contest is stupid. Of course your results are going to be skewed, if you want to be cool on Uber, you have to rate by author, not post. Haha. I love the word 'skewed.'
But at least you're doing SOMETHING.
Submitted by Sphagnum (user info) at 2006-06-30 16:41:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Stalker
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-06-30 16:15:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I GOT A RAISE TODAY
I GOT A RAISE TODAY
that's all
carry on now
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-06-30 15:50:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Have a happy 4th Shlong.
Enjoy the fireworks.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-06-30 15:32:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This piece of shit contest is STILL GOING?
The Crusades didn't last this fucking long.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-06-30 15:08:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I got money on high voltage
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-06-30 15:03:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm leaving kids. I love you all (except for Weber and BEG)
Have a happy 4th weekend filled with beer and exploding shit.
I have to work Monday so I'm skating early today.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-06-30 15:00:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bah. I'm bitter because I didn't get past round 1.
But my money's on Davros for first place.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-06-30 14:58:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
NOOOOOO! Romance? All my romance posts get bad ratings!
Fuck me.
Submitted by Webered (user info) at 2006-06-30 14:50:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I would do an exhibition round, but I would probably be too good for everyone. But sign me up if you feel like being embarrassed.
Oh, and here's a TASTELESS linkwhore. Just because I was going to entitle it "A Walk in the Park" and submit it in the last round of UGR. But decided against it. (I didn't want Kaos-king to feel bad about himself)
http://www.ubersite.com/m/89810 and the sequel:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/89885
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-06-30 14:49:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I move on. Good work, opponent.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/89892
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-06-30 14:43:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I feel like a cock because I was too self occupied to rate any of round two....that's okay, I'll get round 6 no problem.
Submitted by BrownEyedGirrl (user info) at 2006-06-30 14:38:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I'm much too self involved to care about YOU and FEELINGS and WORLD HUNGER and OTHER CRAP.
Fuck that shit. Seriously.
====================
+1 'cause I wanted to...
I'm pretty sure if I post a review
well written, witty, or otherwise
Scourge will smite me with yet another "term of endearment"
come on Scourgy.. don't dissappoint me!!
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-06-30 14:35:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Choke On Air" as a romance, eh???
Works for me.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-06-30 14:25:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
WHAT IS NELLY FURTADO?
I KNOW NOTHING OF THIS.
I AM LEAVING FOR THE DAY SOON. I WILL HAVE BOOZE.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-06-30 14:07:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Like Nelly Furtado
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-06-30 13:58:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah you didn't lose.
I guess you won because people wanted to look at me. I AM PRETTY. I AM.
---
You are pretty cause you are a bird.
That is all.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-06-30 13:56:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yeah you didn't lose.
I guess you won because people wanted to look at me. I AM PRETTY. I AM.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-06-30 13:49:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yay.
I'll play a loser round with you scourge.
Oh wait. I didn't lose.
BWahahahhahaa.
I pwn you, you bird motherfucker.
I know. I'm not very funny. I'm sorry. At least there's no comedy round.
Also I'm really bored and I hate my job and there is a stamp stuck to my forehead. I didn't know drool could adhere things to your face. It can.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-06-30 13:39:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have no idea what is going on with this contest.
people point at things that confuse them
consider yourself pointed at
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-06-30 13:37:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Gay marriage is not legal in Georgia or Pennsylvania as far as I know.
CRIMINALS.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-06-30 13:35:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
LOOK EVERYBODY- ME AND GHOLA GOT HITCHED!
http://www.ubersite.com/m/89870
http://www.ubersite.com/m/89869
GO UGR WOO