Awkward Hand Turkey Theatre Presents: Maryland Adopts Its State Song (1938 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: ahtt
Rating: 1.86 on 26 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Spencer Thompson (View user info) at 2006-07-01 06:48:52 EDT
I was gone for three weeks while I vacationed in Florida, where I got some good material and that Ubersite apparently hated, but then again I don't really give a damn what most of you people think anymore. Most of you are pretty stupid. Anyway, in those three weeks neat stuff happened.
I rode some rollercoasters
I saw a 13 year old king screaming the lyrics to "Because I Got High" outside of a Publix.
I got a 1450 on my SATs.
I established a multitude of new inside jokes, including "FUCK BOOKS."
I heard the most badass thunder.
I defended Rush Limbaugh.
I moved into a new room.
I had a ten year old kid tell me "and you call yourself a jew."
I bought some Ronald Reagan postcards.
It was an exciting three weeks.
Anyway, I decided to talk about a topic that is incredibly interesting but, for some reason, difficult to convert into a comic. State songs.
I'm kinda discovering that Ubersite and me aren't really quite on the same wavelength. I think jokes about Charles Guiteau, Budd Dwyer, and shitty Greek Philosophers are hilarious. The general Uber populace seems to love jokes about babies, muslims, and emos.
My next post will be called "Dead Muslim Emo Baby Jokes."
How many Dead Muslim Emo Babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? One to change the lightbulb and another to record a terrorist recruting video hosted on MySpace.
Why did the Dead Muslim Emo Baby cross the street? He didn't know you're supposed to cut down the road.
How do you teach a Dead Muslim Emo Baby to suicide Bomb? Hit it really hard with a hammer for awhile.
Hope you enjoy the comic, everybody.
http://handturkeytheatre.box43.net
User Reviews
Submitted by sharedferret (user info) at 2006-07-08 03:47:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Actually, Maryland voted /for/ secession, but the Union kept them from carrying it out, since having DC surrounded by Confederate states wouldn't be good for the Union.
That said, awesome comic. :)
Submitted by Chroniclysm (user info) at 2006-07-03 02:15:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If ever I considered an AHTT t-shirt, it was when I read, "I think, maybe, that I fucking hate Virginia."
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2006-07-02 09:41:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
boring.
Submitted by alwayspeach1 (user info) at 2006-07-01 19:46:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Just for mentioning that ass Buddy Dyer.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-07-01 12:59:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, this was funny...
... now where are the pics of your hot prom date?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-01 12:05:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HA- from the mouths of babes.
Congrats on your SATs, too, brainiac.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-07-01 11:30:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well I was in Florida living with my boyfriend, along with his aunt, uncle, and younger cousin. His cousin was ten year old boy and as such had friends whjo were also ten year old boys. The one kid was playing with a rubber die that lit up when you bounced it. I grabbed it and put it in my pocket. I expected him to beg to have it back, and he does ask for it once, but when I tell him no he just looks back at me and says "and you call yourself a jew."
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-01 11:28:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I had a ten year old kid tell me "and you call yourself a jew."
HAHAHA- elaborate?
And I don't mean you should feel bad- you learn something new everyday, right?
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-07-01 11:19:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-01 11:09:17 (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, dear.
http://www.hrc.org/
---
You know what, I refuse to feel bad for not knowing that.
I saw that equal sign logo on a mailbox and pointed it out to my brother and sister.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-07-01 11:09:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Your last post was good.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-01 11:09:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh, dear.
http://www.hrc.org/
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-07-01 11:07:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
HRC?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-01 11:05:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Understood. My point still stands, though.
Hey- I ubermarried ghola yesterday. The HRC would be proud.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-07-01 10:46:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-01 10:34:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd be pissy too if someone accused me of being mentally defective out of the gate. Oh wait- I guess Tig meant me too.
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That's not really what I was referring to. I meant people not liking my jokes about the Supreme Court.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-07-01 10:38:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by FWFIV (user info) at 2006-07-01 10:28:55 (#)
Ranking: 2
Always enjoy these, and this was no exception. Maryland had some of its state legislators imprisoned by federal agents acting on Lincoln's direct orders before the vote for seccession took place thereby guaranteeing that the vote would come out in favor of siding with the Union, thus the "Lincoln as despot" theme was somewhat popular there for a time.
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That's some fun information. Thanks!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-01 10:34:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd be pissy too if someone accused me of being mentally defective out of the gate. Oh wait- I guess Tig meant me too.
Please don't deprive us of your political/academic references. There are plenty of uberers who enjoy them a great deal. I used to be an internet news whore, but I spend too much time on uber and I've slacked a bit- sometimes I get my news from *gasp* AHTT! How's that for serving a purpose?
Ned COMMA the Racist..got me everytime
AHTT +2
Submitted by FWFIV (user info) at 2006-07-01 10:28:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Always enjoy these, and this was no exception. Maryland had some of its state legislators imprisoned by federal agents acting on Lincoln's direct orders before the vote for seccession took place thereby guaranteeing that the vote would come out in favor of siding with the Union, thus the "Lincoln as despot" theme was somewhat popular there for a time.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2006-07-01 10:10:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2006-07-01 09:57:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Two pink thumbs up. Needs more communists. Hell, even one.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-07-01 09:45:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I always enjoy your jokes.
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2006-07-01 09:33:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
As a member of TAHTTAS, I just wanted to mention that I voted yes.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-07-01 09:02:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This I liked. Cunt.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-07-01 08:59:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
At one point you spelled "worried" as "word".
This has the Thorpe Awkward Hand Turkey Theatre Appreciation Society (TAHTTAS) Stamp of Approval.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-07-01 07:01:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-01 06:56:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm drunk and I saw a racist. good enough for a +2
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-07-01 06:51:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Haha so many typos! I made this at like 4:00 in the morning.