Voices of Überusers V (885 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.51 on 46 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Orgasmatron (View user info) at 2006-07-03 11:40:24 EDT
Voices of Überusers I - http://www.ubersite.com/m/89283
Sacrilicious covered my "Libido Honalee," and apparently wound up sounding like a Liliputian 900 line operator. Because the Orgasmatron is a benevolent god, he passed the savings on to you, the public, for free. Huzzah, huzzah, huzzah. This offering also kicked off a slew of voicewhores that, while satisfying many an Ubery ear, cut down on the number of guessable suspects for future instances of this series. OR DID IT? As my grandmother said when she found out a colony of fire ants had taken up residence in her duodenum: "Aces."
Voices of Überusers II - http://www.ubersite.com/m/89539
Redskieslookfake offered his rendition of Sacrilicious's "About a Boy," and his accent made many a woman shiver where their legs meet. As dogs love trucks so, too, do women love accents. Anansie wasn't sure if the voice belonged to "a fatty" or not, which really is quite funny considering that Redskies weighs somewhere around 85lbs and could double as a green bean if a troupe of musicians dressed as vegetables came up one item short before their stage performance of Holst's "Planets" suite.
Voices of Überusers III - http://www.ubersite.com/m/89696
You'd think that having done a voicewhore of sorts would have made it easier for people to guess your voice. Not so with Circe - the queen of the .wav attachment - as her reading of my "Redemption" brought about quite a few incorrect guesses, including one by Captain Thorns who swore he'd recently heard that very voice in person. But, as we all know, the Captain doesn't know much about going 'down under,' so the fact that he confused an Aussie with a Brit is more than understandable. Love you, Thorny.
Voices of Überusers IV - http://www.ubersite.com/m/89807
Though gravitas' "A Walk in the Park" was pretty bad in print, he, simple_catalyst and ghola went and proved that performance truly goes a long way in determining the worth of a piece. With foppish song, casual rhyme and even the debut of a 'wretched southern accent' the three chuckleheads gave a most sincere and honorable performance worthy of any off-Broadway stage or West End theatre. Makes you wonder what the other 300+ takes sounded like. Ultimately the performance lacked believability - ghola dear as a bandit? Psh. Ninja all the way.
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It's at this point that I would spin some canned yarn about what's expected and what you all should do with the file below. But, really, let's face facts - you're all bright little monkeys. You've done this before. I have faith that 97% of you can get through this with some degree of success.
(You 3% know who you are.)
Just enjoy it, do the thing with the thing, and get back to the working day.
To hell with any and all of you that have off, by the way.
Oh, and ladies - you might find this submission a bit satisfying.
88 Lines About 44 UberWimmin.mp3 (4 MB) [audio/mpeg]
User Reviews
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-07-05 05:52:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I can't believe you fuckers think that this is an English accent. English as in England, Briton, Le Pom.
That's just wrong.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-07-04 02:51:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Definitely N_A_T_H
Submitted by Sinistral (user info) at 2006-07-03 19:20:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
fuckin quicktime i can only about 4 seconds of any of these voicewhores.
Submitted by FlakMonkey (user info) at 2006-07-03 16:42:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HEY LOOK, IT'S WOODY HARRELSON!
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-07-03 16:31:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Hey look! It's a circle jerk!
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-03 16:29:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-03 15:15:49 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-07-03 15:06:54 (#)
Ranking: 0
Eh? Who is 'us people', lass?
=====
You know..Africans. The white ones from the South.
*silently begs for in-person history lesson*
And the rest of you peanut gallery..I love black people and gays. Are you either of those?
===
So now I'm just part of the 'peanut gallery'?
Fuck that.
AND, you'll note she didn't address the anti-Semitism charge? She's obviously some Henry Ford, Protocols of the Elders of Zion preaching neo-Nazi.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-03 15:47:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-07-03 15:26:30 (#)
Ranking: 2
And bring your pyjamjams.
=========
Such a gentleman. Thank you.
But I don't wear..um..I'll be right over.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-07-03 15:26:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*history lesson*
When it comes to white South Africans, there are two main groups - Afrikaans, which are the dutch-descent settlers that speak Afrikaans as a first language, and the English-descent ones, who speak Arikaans, but not as a first language. The people you stayed with in high school were probly first-language Afrikaners, whilst I am a second language Afrikaner.
If you want to know more, I suggest you come visit.
And bring your pyjamjams.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-03 15:21:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-07-03 15:14:09 (#)
Ranking: 0
I feel it my duty to complete them before possibly falling off the face of the uberearth completely
=========
Don't
even
joke
about that.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-03 15:15:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-07-03 15:06:54 (#)
Ranking: 0
Eh? Who is 'us people', lass?
=====
You know..Africans. The white ones from the South.
*silently begs for in-person history lesson*
And the rest of you peanut gallery..I love black people and gays. Are you either of those?
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-07-03 15:14:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The Tales have fallen into shadow, along with most of my interest to write anything besides art posts as of late. I feel it my duty to complete them before possibly falling off the face of the uberearth completely, so I promise that you'll see a continuation of them soon.
Just not this week. Daddy's busy this week.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-07-03 15:12:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd really prefer it if you didn't subject people to your prejudices on my post, Lishy.
If that's your REAL NAME. Hatemonger.
No wonder Zoidberg hasn't posted lately. You likely made him feel unwelcome when you were shooting off all of those "I hate homosexuals" reviews a while back.
Sphagnum, shitfuck and ThoreauMe too, come to think.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-03 15:11:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What happened to the Uberbury Tales?
We demand answers
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-07-03 15:06:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-03 14:59:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-07-03 14:57:01 (#)
Ranking: 0
Would you like it regular or dekaffanated?
=======
booooooooo
Phuzzy- I just figured all you people sounded the same.
-------
Eh? Who is 'us people', lass?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-03 15:06:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How racist Lishy.
Next you'll be saying that all black people look the same. That those anxious, self loathing Jews are bothering you...Jesus Christ, woman, I'm seeing a new side of you here.
Please send the daybed by FedEx. The Rice-a-Roni can be donated to your local homeless shelter. Never let it be said I'm not a humanitarian...
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-03 14:59:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-07-03 14:57:01 (#)
Ranking: 0
Would you like it regular or dekaffanated?
=======
booooooooo
Phuzzy- I just figured all you people sounded the same. I like, though.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-07-03 14:58:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You win a day bed, scourge.
A day bed and some Rice-a-Roni.
My prizes all consist of Price is Right leavins. Deal.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-07-03 14:57:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Would you like it regular or dekaffanated?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-03 14:55:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What do I win?
It better be good or I'm coming back here to -2 this.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-07-03 14:52:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-03 14:36:28 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-07-03 14:06:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
20 bucks says you're wrong, mu'afukka.
========
Interesting. I spent most of high school in my best friend's Afrikaans-speaking house, and his family sounded much different. What gives? (will pay for more voicewhores).
+++++
I'm south african sweetheart, I'm not Afrikaans. There's a bit of a difference. :)
I'll do another one, one of these days, but not poetry, just speaking - you'll hear it's not an english accent, not an australian accent, but somewhere in between...
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-03 14:36:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-07-03 14:06:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
20 bucks says you're wrong, mu'afukka.
========
Interesting. I spent most of high school in my best friend's Afrikaans-speaking house, and his family sounded much different. What gives? (will pay for more voicewhores).
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-07-03 14:36:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-07-03 14:32:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
Not only that, but I have MET HIM IN FUCKING PERSON>
How rude.
----------------
In FUCKING person?
I beg your pardon, but I didn't think we were THAT drunk, dearest!
Seriously...it's all good. I can't tell a Brit from a Sud Afrikaan to save my life, but I could've swore that your accent was much lighter than the recording would suggest.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-07-03 14:32:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Not only that, but I have MET HIM IN FUCKING PERSON>
How rude.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-07-03 14:32:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-07-03 14:27:57 (#)
Ranking: 0
Further proof that you don't know about going 'down under' Thorny.
---------------------------
HEY!!!
You're in BIG trouble now, mister! Just you wait and see if I ever record another one of YOUR masterpieces!!!
Erm...uhh...ahem.
*cough*
Actually, I *do* plan to immortalize another of your works. Check yer e-mail.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-07-03 14:27:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Further proof that you don't know about going 'down under' Thorny.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-07-03 14:25:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-07-03 14:06:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-07-03 12:13:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-07-03 12:12:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
Davros has a South African telephone voice? Awesome!
----------------------------------
Oh, for the love of bloody ponce...who said this was a South Afrikaan accent?!? It's NOT.
------
20 bucks says you're wrong, mu'afukka.
==========================================
Well then....you're admitting to recording THIS masterpiece?
If so, my face is red.
Oh wait, that's 'cause I forgot the missus was on the rag before 69ing.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-07-03 14:06:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-07-03 12:13:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-07-03 12:12:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
Davros has a South African telephone voice? Awesome!
----------------------------------
Oh, for the love of bloody ponce...who said this was a South Afrikaan accent?!? It's NOT.
------
20 bucks says you're wrong, mu'afukka.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-07-03 13:42:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-03 13:24:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
You're in your underwear?
Camwhore please.
-----------------------
No doubt.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-03 13:24:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're in your underwear?
Camwhore please.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-07-03 13:15:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I got it - IT'S STEVEN HAWKING!
(I am but a little miffed that I didn't get first crack at recording this piece - or would have that been too easy?)
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-07-03 13:07:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's absolutly Phuzzy...
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-03 13:05:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You working fools have my utmost sympathy. Just because I'm in my underwear doesn't mean I don't care.
My Blue Moon Belgian White says hello.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-03 13:05:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You got a four day break from middle school did you HIV?
How nice.
Cock eater
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-07-03 12:47:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Fuck you too, then, HIV.
You silly bastard.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-07-03 12:46:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Four day weekend! Thank god for independence from the mother country.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-07-03 12:42:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Don't lie, Bubs. You're out on disability with a bum hip.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-07-03 12:38:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
To hell with me, then. This is the third day of
a four-day weekend. :)
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-07-03 12:13:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-07-03 12:12:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
Davros has a South African telephone voice? Awesome!
----------------------------------
Oh, for the love of bloody ponce...who said this was a South Afrikaan accent?!? It's NOT.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-07-03 12:12:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Davros has a South African telephone voice? Awesome!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-07-03 12:09:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-07-03 12:07:37 (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAH
Davros is English!
---------------------
Yeah, I know - and this sounds to me exactly like he did over a cell phone call. :)
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-07-03 12:07:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAH
Davros is English!
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-07-03 12:04:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Definitely NOT phuzzy.
It's Davros.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-07-03 12:02:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think it's Phuzzy too.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-03 11:57:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Doesn't sound South African to me.
Coyote?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-03 11:51:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/86945
Link to the original piece.
I win again.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-03 11:48:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
phuzzy.
I win.