UGR - "Choke On Air" (863 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: Contests
Rating: 1.94 on 23 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by kaos-king (antius777) (View user info) at 2006-07-04 08:54:46 EDT
http://www.ubersite.com/m/89888 - UGR round 3: Romance
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He slide down the gray stone wall until he was kneeling. Idly examining the gravel on the side parking lot, he fished about in his shirt pocket for his cigarettes. His tie hung out the slit pocket of his black slacks like it was ready to make an escape. The summer sun beat down upon him as he crouched there, waiting for her, taking every puff of the cancer stick slowly and with effort.
Before the first cigarette was entirely out, he used it's bright cherry to light up a second. Probably not the best thing to do, considering the circumstances, but he needed it at the moment. He wanted it as well, and sometimes, he was discovering, what a person "wants" really is important after all. He had wanted so much, but he was pleased with the life he had, if only...
The small blue car turned the corner and scooted it's way up to where he was at. It came to rest only paces away from him, but he remained motionless, smoking his cigarette. He could see Amanda through the glaring reflection on the windshield, looking at something in her rearview mirror. She glanced over at him, surprised he hadn't moved, and gave him a quizzical look. He purposely flicked his lit cigarette into the bed of the black truck on his left and climbed in the passenger seat.
"Hey honey," she said casually, leaning over to exchange brief kisses with him.
He replied the same in return, saying no more as they backed out of the employee parking lot. She nervously swished her head back and forth, her high ponytail flipping around as she looked out onto the main street. She still wasn't used to these roads yet, driving on these busy multi-lanes. There hadn't been traffic like this back home.
"You tired?" she asked, pulling out behind a station wagon.
"I'm tired," he replied.
She gave him a frown and continued on about how his car would be fixed by tomorrow and how she had found the Dollar Store down the street. She filled him in on all the mundane tasks she had accomplished through out the day while he had been at work at the carpet store, and how they were almost completely unpacked. She talked about how she had spoken to her grandmother on the phone for an hour and how things were going back home. She...
"I got fired today," he said calmly.
The words she had been ready to share with him died in her mouth. Her head slowly turned to him, to look at him, her face a mask of fear and confusion. Her mouth opened to say something, to ask, to plead with him that it wasn't true perhaps. He would never know what she was about to say.
Because he started laughing.
"I got fired because of Jake's stupid ass," he said between bouts of laughter. "We were selling remnants of carpet out the back door to contractors and keeping all the profit. Hell, I showed Jake how to wrangle the books! I leave Kensington and Jake gets greedy. Starts selling enough of the shit that upper management notices something is going on. They call in Lose Prevention and..."
He was laughing so hard now he was beginning to cough.
Her eyes were wide and wet, trying to both stare at him incredulously and keep her head on the road.
Through giggles, he said, "I made a few hundred over months, just enough to fucking feed us. Jake fucking rake in thousands, that dumb bastard. I never knew!"
"Adam!" she exploded beside him in the car. "What are we going to do? We just moved up here, got the apartment! I start back to school in a few weeks, and I have a full course load, and... oh god, we'll have to move back home and..."
"Amanda," sighed Adam, trying not to cough from all the laughter, "It will be fine. I'll just find another job."
"You have no contacts up here!" she screamed. "You can't use the carpet store as a reference and you've been with the company for three years! You're never going to get a descent job in the industry with..."
"Good," he proclaimed, lighting up another cigarette.
"What?" she said slowly, not understanding.
"Honey, for the past three years I've absolutely hated my life. I hated being part of the 'Home Contractor' industry. I only took the job because it was the only thing hiring back in Kensington and it had steady hours. They're a huge corporation and they pay their workers shit. Do you know our neighbor Phil makes more than me working at the fucking Kwicky King gas station?"
"So you're going to go pump gas now?" asked Amanda with the edge rising in her voice.
Adam sighed again. "No, but we figured out the bills according to how much money I made at that shit hole. If they're paying gas jockeys the same amount around here, imagine if I get something real?"
He watched her face as she processed his words. "Besides," he said calmly, "I can always bartend or do security work again until something better shows up."
"But I would miss you at night," she said wrapping her delicate fingers around his.
"I know," he replied.
They drove in silence for the last few miles, both with their minds swirling. After dropping out for a few years, Amanda had decided she wanted to go back and finish her degree. Adam, her boyfriend of many years, had been very supportive of the idea and transferred his position to a store near the university she wanted to attend. Had the record store she worked at had anything remotely close, she would have transferred herself, but nothing was available. In the end, he had told he that she didn't need to work that first year, so she could get accustomed to school again.
They pulled into the parking lot of the apartment complex they had been living in for only a month. Not really home yet, this side of Franklin was especially foreign to them. Fortunately the rent was cheap, the apartments big, and the neighborhood seemed nice enough. They had already become friendly with the couple next door, Phil and Rachel, and Amanda's old freshman roommate lived just down the street.
Climbing out of Amanda's little blue car, they didn't say a word to each other. When they met at the steps, they instinctively locked hands and made their way up to the second floor. She fumbled with the key for a moment, and he said nothing. Finally the door swung open and the refreshing blast of cool air conditioning hit them both. Their cat, "Mordrid" looked up at them lazily, blinked, and returned to his slumber.
Adam pulled his tie out of his pocket and sat it on the kitchen table. Amanda reached out, took his hand and lead him through the apartment. He went without saying anything. She weaved him around the remaining boxes and back to the bed room.
He had already kicked his shoes off when he had entered, her flip flop sandals mysteriously gone. Amanda began to unbutton his dress shirt and he reached out to brush the strawberry blond hair from her face. Kissing her freckles, he moved his lips to her mouth, tasting her as his hands slide to the small of her back. He traced his fingers up her spine as he pulled on her green tank top, his shirt now undone and she tackling his belt. Both their tops fell away as his pants came apart and he ran his hands slowly down her arms, then up her tight stomach to meet her small breasts.
With in moments they were fully disrobed and in the bed, their hands and mouths exploring each other as they had so many times in the past. They clung to each other tightly, their embrace almost desperate as if they wanted to absorb each other. After all this time, there was no shame or awkwardness between them and their skin... only memories.
After some time had passed, Amanda lay there next to him, her fingers grazing his cheek absently in a pattern. Turning, he let himself be swallowed by those dark brown eyes as he had so often in the past. After a few minutes of just taking each other in, she reached over him for a cigarette on the nightstand. He ran his tongue across her nipple as she leaned back over him, eliciting giggles from her.
"I love you," he stated matter-of-factly.
"I love you, too," she replied, kissing him on the forehead.
As she lit up her cigarette he fumbled for one of his own, and she asked without malice, "Is everything really going to be okay?"
"I promise it will be," he said.
"Were you really so unhappy there the last few years?" Amanda asked.
Adam laid back in bed and puffed away for a second. "It was, like... every day I felt as if the 'real' me died a little more. Some days I just dreaded going in. It felt like I was suffocating, like I was drowning in my own life. I don't know how to explain it."
"Like you were choking on air," mused Amanda.
"What?" laughed Adam.
"Just a song title by this band," dismissed Amanda. " I just thought maybe that was appropriate."
"No," he said reaching out to cup her face in a kiss. "That sounds about right. But I can breathe again now."
User Reviews
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-08 04:03:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think this is beautiful. And more, it seems..real. Yeah.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-07-08 01:47:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My only problem is the typos, but you know about that so it's cool.
Very solid story.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-07-07 23:40:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just reread this. It still rocks.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-07-06 05:20:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good Stuff.
-Dave
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-07-05 19:13:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
well, if he just got fired, he better be turning down that air-conditioning...
Submitted by alwayspeach1 (user info) at 2006-07-05 15:46:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-07-05 13:01:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Anything sounds good after low quality bluegrass.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-07-05 10:04:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i don't believe love is like this for real...
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-07-05 07:46:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Typo's? We don't need no stinking typo's.
I enjoyed this anyway.
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2006-07-04 18:57:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A nice little story.
For a contest i think a flashier ending might have helped, but overall it's still a solid +2 here.
Submitted by onewetleg (user info) at 2006-07-04 16:10:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
the blue car did something "where he was at" eep.
Submitted by Sockster (user info) at 2006-07-04 15:10:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Have you always written like this? Or did you learn?
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-07-04 10:52:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Sorry dude, I'm gonna be honest - absolute cacker of a story, but for a 'contest', you really should have at least proofread once or twice. Too many easy mistaks for a full 100%, even though it was a great, great story....
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-07-04 10:05:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
:)
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2006-07-04 09:46:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
-00
-p
-0
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2006-07-04 09:40:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
atleast written better than I write my stories as far as grammar punctuation and spelling goes.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2006-07-04 09:39:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
that's not the only one but fuck it...this was a good story
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2006-07-04 09:38:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YEAH FUCK YOU FOR MAKING A MISTAKE AND BEING HUMAN
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-07-04 09:33:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Yeah, second word a fucking typo.
-2!
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-07-04 09:29:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by HurtByTheSun (user info) at 2006-07-04 09:09:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awesome
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-07-04 09:02:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Slide? I think you mean slid. Cracking story as always.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-04 09:00:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I cannot be arsed to read this.