Safe and Secure -or- The Remora: Part 7: Immaculate Conception, the Perfect Bang? (412 hits)
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Submitted by Erosion Rules (View user info) at 2006-07-05 10:13:31 EDT
Part 1: http://www.ubersite.com/m/87398
Part 2: http://www.ubersite.com/m/87495
Part 3: http://www.ubersite.com/m/87784
Part 4: http://www.ubersite.com/m/87928
Part 5: http://www.ubersite.com/m/88053
Part 6: http://www.ubersite.com/m/88338
I think back to the best sex I ever had, and it's a different encounter each time. There is no set status of the best sex ever. One minute the best sex you can remember was quick in dirty in a parking lot outside a restaurant. The next minute you're thinking of that foreign girl who would swallow every drop and scream like a banshee. The point is, it's not so much the different sex, it's the mood you're in while thinking about it. Great sex is greatest when you're fully in tune with what's going on. Otherwise, you'll have you be turned on by the memory of it.
The point to this is, that girl from Canada, the one that regretted sleeping with Thane, she is now relishing the memories. And trying to relive them. This wouldn't be so bad if Thane wasn't so desperate for sex that each time he gets with a girl, he tries to get as much as possible, because when it's done, it's like sex hibernation. So each of these nights has been sleepless as Thane pounds away on this girl, who somehow met up with us in Ottoville, Ohio.
Her friend, of course, was gone, and she apparently saw Thane on the news. She found that he's a cop killer, and started to trace his route. She waited for eightteen hours in Maryland before trying Ohio, that should be a clue as to her success. Apparently you have to bash some heads to get that perfect sex feeling.
I, on the other hand, was dealing with the utmost in annoyances from all directions. I'm in a small town, named after a preist named Otto. Just about everyone is devout Catholic, and they're not quiet about their beliefs. There is a large church, very spooky looking, that you can see for far outside of the town.
The perfect place for a heroin runner and his stoner captive. And a horny Canadian chick...
I convinced Thane to stop at a 7-11, I needed some smokes. Inside I saw another picture of Thane, "May be traveling with accomplice: Caucasian male, dark hair, green eyes, approx. 6'1"" Shit.
How did I go from hostage to accomplice? I kept my eyes down as I approached the counter, and asked for my cigarettes.
"ID please."
Double fuck. I held up my ID, hoping they would look only at my birthday. No such luck. The full scan was done, and now they knew where I was. Which meant they knew where Thane was, and more people would die in front of me.
Outside, I told Thane we needed to get out of there.
"No fuckin' way, dude. We're sittin' chilly right here until things blow over."
"Good thinking, there, Muggsy. The fact is, more cops are going to come here, probably right now, and you're going to flip out and slaughter a bunch of them, and they'll start shooting, hitting ME. Stop being a selfish bag of shit and think about what you're doing. This shit is now low profile, asshole. If you want to do this, do it right."
"What the fuck did you just say?"
"No, dude, just shut the fuck up. Got it asshole? Just shut the fuck up. For one thing, you're blowing through all these small towns, setting off the sensors. This is not a fucking western, and you're not Jesse James. You're a fuckin' drug runner, act like it. First, you have to get to a chop shop and get rid of this fucking Spyder. Yeah, yeah, I know the shit's in there, but a chop shop won't call the cops. You shove all that smack into the door panels of a new, low profile car. My vote is a minivan or a station wagon. Then, if she's so fuckin' perfect, have her ass driving. No one is looking for a chick in a minivan. And then you take..."
I had been talking with my hands as well, and was focusing everywhere when I noticed Thane's face. During my whole tirade, he had looked scared. Why didn't he just perforate my head? I wonder...
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Submitted by erosion_rules (user info) at 2006-07-06 00:11:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Ninety-thousand and...THIRTY SEVEN?!?