No time to say hello, goodbye, I'm late I'm late I'm late (580 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: -1.1 on 17 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Poots (View user info) at 2006-07-05 13:24:44 EDT
You wake up to a dark room and a blaring alarm clock. You kick and wine and roll around in bed for 15 minutes fighting the urge to rest. Being that you have lived in this place for exactly 4 months now you have a complete encyclopedia filled with the knowledge of the rooms' terrain. There is a hair brush that you left on the floor in the middle of the room that were kicked there directly before you tucked yourself in leaving them in prime ankle sprain position. Your not sure what that sticky cellophane wrapper is that you just stepped on as you exit the bed. A honey bun wrapper is stuck to your foot and you remeber eating it last night before you passed out drunk.
Walking over to the window you tear open the shades to welcome warmth and chirping from birds in the trees that you planted in your front lawn. There is a beautiful sun peaking over the horizon. You make peace with your maker and smile a Apollo as the days burden doesn't seem so bad anymore. A tune runs through your head that revives the sleepyness from your poor worn soul. You will most likely be singing this tune as the day goes on, annoying everyone around you with it's catchy addiction.
The shower is right around the corner but you really need a cup of coffee first. You slip on your houseshoes to keep your little feet warm and cozy and head to the kitchen. The smell of coffee reminds you of all things commercial and your mind wanders to the advertisement you saw last night, something about the best part of waking up. The coffee maker gurgles and hisses as you turn on the television.
The coffee is finished nd you make note of its' dry bitterness. You purse your lips and pull your head to the heavens swearing to the lord that you didn't know coffee was made this hot. Looking at the clock you realise that time is short and you dart through the hallway towards the bathroom.
Something sizzles in your brain and you twitch a bit as you turn the corner and flip the light on. You pass the mirror above the sing and moan at your bedraggled morning state. A twinge of pain fires through you synaptically and you slap yourself for being so caught up on aesthetics. The pain lets you forget, it allows you to move towards the shower and turn the faucet on.
Steam builds in the shower and you make an attempt to uncloth yourself. The left legg comes out of the pair of pajamas you sleep in easily enough. However the big toe of your right leg gets caught on a hole in the pajamas tripping you over and you smash your face on the unyielding white marble of your bathroom floor.
You pop up to the mirror to see if you have any bumps or bruises and notice a resonation of a terrible gash along the brow line of your head. Letting the blood flow over your eyes and into your mouth you smile a red toothed smile then reach for the first aid kit located in the chiffonier below the sink.
Thieving the first aid kit from it aphotic dungeon you get to work at cleaning your wound. The pain returns and you smile again as you wipe the laceration clean.
After cleaning your wound you look at the clock and notice that you are running way short on time. It's just going to have to be a bird bath this morning, just a quick dip in and out. You do so in record time and make tracks for the proverbial shit and shave that is to accompany every humans shower.
While shaving you note the urge to cut yourself and fight it off due to the fact that you have a huge gaping gash in you head already. You smell and acrid odor and wonder into your changing room where you sit at your vanity and powder your face. You put your noce on and laugh at the site before you. You finish your makeup anjd go to the closet and pull out your favorite suit. Meticulously you go over every inch of fiber on your costume for the day and decide everything is in order so you slide it on.
You hear a knock:
Bang Bang Bang Bang Bang!
You hear a voice:
Come on we have to go the boss isn't going to wait all day!
"Shit," you think to yourself, dropping your calm as the person at the door continues to bang at the door and say the same thing over and over and over. You want to cut a gash in that person and probably would if it weren't such a waste of a good raisor blade. You hurry your pace and grab the things your gonna need for the job and head for the door.
The door squeaks on it's hinges and you smile at the human standing on the other side. Looking your manifestation over it gives you a confirming look of approval until its' glances are drawn to your forehead.
Cocking its' head sideways it enquires about your beaten browin an over used dialect common to your locale. You slowly glide your hand across your back and pinch the skin off your back racing pain through your sciatica. The only answer you could come up with is that you fell in the bathroom which was not a lie this time.
"well I hope it doesn't scare the shit out of the kids. They don't like to see huge fucking gashes in thier entertainments heads," it said with a look of evil dread aimed at your intelligence.
Well fuck the little bastards! They not the troubles of man, they know not the evils of the world." A tear forms in your eye and you look away staring at the ground wishing to hell you would have gone to graduate school and not clown school.
User Reviews
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2006-12-09 13:10:27 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
These are my no sleep days. I was averaging about 2 hrs a night if I was lucky. Apologies for the ungramaticalness.
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-12-09 12:42:14 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2006-07-06 08:14:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Randy_Rottenbuckets (user info) at 2006-07-05 22:39:23 (#)
Ranking: 2
Why do you shitheels insist on bad-mouthing Poots? I know your e-peens only engourge with the blood and sweat of others but you fucks seriously need to get a life. Such is the life of a forum troll I guess. Seriously though. Go out and get some fucking sun. Get a, and I'm sure you will recognize the acronym, RL. Or better yet stay locked up behind your 10 foot fences with your paranoid little security systems and kill yourself with internet porn and cheetos. Prolly do the world a service anyway.
p.s. to all you assclowns who respond to this....your tears make me stronger.
Pax
p.p.s. POSITIVE 2 BABY!
--
Thanks for sticking up for me Randy. I'm just about done with this web sit though. Most people on here is an elitist that have no right. If I wanted to I could to every asshole that respond to my post and fine something small and meaningless to -2 them about but I don't mainly because I don't have the time. I don't care about you fucks that try to tear me down by being stupid. I know that your proverbial heads are stuck up your moms cunts. I also know that you live on a strict diet of hotdogs and cornflakes. Either that or they have a man bring thier milk and sandwiches while they count how many times They say "Bring in the milk." I bet thier living rooms and computer chairs smell much like urine and they rape the family dog on a regular basis. Fuck you guys that's really all I gotta say. Fuck you if you can't take a joke. I didn't start this shit. You, fond uber comment hater, did! I have apologized in the past before for "wasting your time" but no longer I realise that this is what you want. So in the immortal words of Mr Blonde from Reservoir dogs "If you kids don't play nice...Somebody's gonna start crying" Jk. I really really really don't want to fight with you guys but if it's war and hate that you want it's what you shall have. Eye for an eye, blood for blood! you suck time out of your world to send some hate then I shall, sense no other mortal man is fit for the position, take my time and take care of you in the proper fashion. I'm not looking for a fight but I will not back down.
-love you guys and in the immortal word of the great bart himself: Thanks for playing.
Submitted by Randy_Rottenbuckets (user info) at 2006-07-05 22:39:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why do you shitheels insist on bad-mouthing Poots? I know your e-peens only engourge with the blood and sweat of others but you fucks seriously need to get a life. Such is the life of a forum troll I guess. Seriously though. Go out and get some fucking sun. Get a, and I'm sure you will recognize the acronym, RL. Or better yet stay locked up behind your 10 foot fences with your paranoid little security systems and kill yourself with internet porn and cheetos. Prolly do the world a service anyway.
p.s. to all you assclowns who respond to this....your tears make me stronger.
Pax
p.p.s. POSITIVE 2 BABY!
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2006-07-05 14:09:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
gods balls I'll never get this shit right! Fuck it fuck it fuck it fuck it...bye
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2006-07-05 14:05:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I will do a post about it sure.
and icarus I meant to say thanks for sounding like a human being.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-07-05 13:58:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-07-05 13:56:38 (#)
Ranking: -2
This story is about as clear, and as pleasant, as a toilet filled with all the smelly beer shits I've had this week.
Do a post about this.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-07-05 13:56:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This story is about as clear, and as pleasant, as a toilet filled with all the smelly beer shits I've had this week.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2006-07-05 13:55:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
oh well I tried sorry I wasted your time. wasn't meant to be funny as all.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-07-05 13:48:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Keep trying...I sense a -1 in your future!
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-07-05 13:48:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-07-05 13:42:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I want to like you... I really do... but you waste so much time on the damned setup that by the time you get around to the punchline it just isn't funny anymore.
Submitted by gonefiguring (user info) at 2006-07-05 13:38:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/90040#2048075
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-07-05 13:33:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No no no.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2006-07-05 13:31:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
This seemed okay, but somehow it ended up sounding like a large run-on sentence in my head.
That, and you really need some proofreading assistance.
Just look at it a little more carefully in the future.
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-07-05 13:30:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You know, I have to give you this.
Even though you suck at life...
HARD...
You sure do try a lot.
Not that it does any good or anything, because every time you try anything, you suck a bit more, but points for trying none-the-less.
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-07-05 13:28:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You fucking suck