**Comic Book Geek Alert** - "The Authority" (707 hits)
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Rating: 1.58 on 24 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by kaos-king (antius777) (View user info) at 2006-07-06 10:24:23 EDT
Loki's rambling post about Superman, ( http://www.ubersite.com/m/90049 ) and some of the replies got me thinking back to when I was younger and I collected comics. I stopped buying them for various reasons, mostly because I no longer felt like spending the outrageous amounts per issue. Comics, the writers and the artists, were hugely influential on me.
There was one, however, that stands out in my memory...
Warren Ellis was given the failing Wildstorm/Image title "Stormwatch" to play with back in the late 90's. From what I understand, he was told to do whatever he felt like, as the title had been suffering from poor readership for years, but Wildstorm honcho Jim Lee just couldn't bring himself to cancel it.
"Stormwatch" was a relatively well conceived idea, a United Nation super group that would take on threats of a multi-national scale. The main characters where somewhat two-dimensional and the scripts your basic formula. A rotating cast of creative teams were tossed onto it, only to last a short time before heading off onto better things. It took Ellis, the mad British author of "Transmetropolitan" to give it a focus.
He introduce a few new characters, made everybody a little more paranoid, and turned the beloved Weatherman into a psychotic despot. All in about twenty issues. "Stormwatch" gained so much popularity, it was re-launched with much fanfare and was considered to now be a major book. But Ellis had a bigger story to tell, one that the confines of UN juristiction couldn't hold. He wanted to explore ideas that Alan Moore had done a decade and a half ago with the critically acclaimed "Watchmen."
So what does he do? He proceeds to kill off all the main characters in the book except for a handful.
From the ashes of "Stormwatch" rose a book that caused Image a lot of controversy back in the day. Titled simply, "The Authority," it surrounded the survivors of the UN team, a few reformed villains, and a couple of rogue agents. Together they decided it was time to 'Change The World' whether the world liked it or not. Now with Bryan Hitch on pencils, they pioneered the 'wide-screen' or 'cinematic comic' format. They had to. "The Authority" was not a little kids comic of yesterday...
The team was composed of, quite possibly, the most powerful beings on the planet. And they were bastards. They had no issues with lying, cheating and brutally killing to achieve what they considered a 'Better Tomorrow.' Headquartered in The Carrier, a multi-phasic spaceship that orbited the Earth in the Bleed between dimensions, they could teleport down to where ever they wanted and quickly, (violently) deal with any situation.
They massacred the troops of a terrorist nation without hesitation. They sank a peninsula when the alien-controlled government wouldn't lie down their weapons. They bought off a renegade weapons maker. They fought the planet itself. They killed the extra-terrestrial intelligence that created Earth. They wrestled for power, and eventually conquered the United States.
Yeah...
At one time, The Authority was lead by Jenny Sparks. The actual living 'Spirit of the 20th Century,' Jenny was near one hundred years old when she took control of the team. Appearing as a teenage British girl, she had chain-smoked and fucked her way through ten decades, using her electrical powers as just about everything imaginable. No one is still sure if her depression caused the issues of the 1930's or if her experimentation with drugs fueled the 1960's. Regardless, the moment the clock struck midnight on 2000, the collective consciousness forced her death and subsequent rebirth as Jenny Quantum, 'Spirit of the 21st Century.'
After Jenny's death, the role of leader fell to Jack Hawksmoor. Known as the 'God Of Cities,' Jack had been genetically engineered since his youth by mysterious aliens to be a specialized mutant being. Eventually it was discovered that this tinkering was not done by ETs, but by denizens from the future, knowing Jack would play a pivotal role in human history. He no longer possesses regular human organs or even blood, for that matter, and the soles of his feet have a sneaker-like tread on them. His powers are somewhat enigmatic and undefined. Windows tell him their memories and pavement can ripple like water with his command. He feeds off pollution and buildings reach out to catch him if he jumps.
Swift, or Shen Li, is the final surviving member of Stormwatch and is quite possibly the fastest moving creature on the Earth. She has wings that grow from her back and retractable talons on both her hands and feet. Swift also seems to have a form of self-propelled telekinetics, that allow her to achieve the speed of sound once she is airborne. Often the pilot of the semi-sentient Carrier, she can do complicated flight algorithms her her head instinctually.
The young Dutch man, Jeroen, was given the powers of the World Shaman against his will. The more he protested his new assignment as 'Protector Of The Global Village,' the more the universe approved of it's choice. As "The Doctor," he employs the ability to harness anything within his will to be. All forms of magic are his to command, and he manipulates reality at his whim. Not bad for a former heroin junkie...
"The Engineer" is now Angela Spica, after the original creator of the nanotech suit died at the hands of an ill-informed Stormwatch. Angie has nine pints of liquid machinery where her blood use to be and can invent any needed appendage, apparatus or weaponry from the nanotechs. She devised microscopic devices that were implanted in all of The Authority for silent radio-free telepathic communications, and can create an upwards of a dozen clones of herself.
He and his former Black Ops partner both gave up their memories and identities to become super soldiers. Now as "Apollo," he can absorb tremendous amounts of solar energy, storing it and using it in various ways such as flight, invulnerability, strength and laser blasts. ( Apollo was created to be a mockery of Superman, his counterpart The Midnighter to be one of Batman. Did I mention that Apollo and The Midnighter are gay lovers? )
His former Black Ops partner and now Life Partner, "The Midnighter" is as opposite as Apollo as possible. The Midnighter is a sadistic living weapon who thrills at the thought of crushing skulls in. Mentally, he has an advanced psionic ability to map out a fight in his mind instantly, gage all weaknesses and proper attack maneuvers. Physically, his body has been engineered to withstand virtually any forms of assault, all his senses heightened and his speed, strength and agility at peak levels at all times. He once injected himself with AIDS just to see what would happen - Like any battle, he beat it... in ten minutes.
Creators Mark Millar and Frank Quietly were hand picked by Ellis when he left the series and they continued on in a grand fashion. The team showed up drunk to a fight, Jenny Quantum proved a handful as an infant, Hawksmoor told the President of the United States to fuck off, Swift got a boob job, The Doctor OD a couple times, The Engineer discovered the secrets to time travel, Apollo adopted baby Jenny, and Midnighter sodomized a villain with a jackhammer. Fun!!!
So yeah... The JLA may have all the names and the X-Men may have the history, but nothing made me laugh, cringe and think like "The Authority" did.
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-07-06 17:06:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
IT'S CLOBBERING TIME
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-07-06 15:52:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
heh
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2006-07-06 11:44:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
does constantine make you think of the Boshman?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-07-06 11:44:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That looks good.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-07-06 11:43:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hey i'm currently reading constantine.
english people make me laugh.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2006-07-06 11:37:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
also check out the novel american gods by Gaiman, muy bueno. Smoke and mirrors is a good book of short stories gaiman did also.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2006-07-06 11:34:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Yes alot of Ennis' work is over the top with graphic violence but I dig that shit baby. Doesn't detract from the story at all enhances it in my opinion. the only thing ennis I can think of without graphic violence is the story he wrote for star wars fans, can't remember the name of the mag, it was about the first storm trooper who walks in on Princess leia and gets shot down, the only violence I can remember in the whole story, right before they stun her. It's a pretty good story.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2006-07-06 11:28:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
v for vendetta wasn't that bad of a movie but when I watched The Leauge I administered a cock chain to my recliner so I wouldn't get up. I also had to get some of those things from the aliens in fire in the sky to keep my eyes open and of course a neck brace so I couldn't look away to far. That book was fucking incredible and the movie did it no service.
Submitted by indoninja (user info) at 2006-07-06 11:24:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Preacher" was just so fucking ridiculously violent sometimes, but hysterical and thought-provoking as well.
"The Watchmen" by Alan Moore is just so fucking complex.
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+2 for this if the Authority is in the same league, I might have to check it out.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2006-07-06 11:24:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Personally I am tired of the typical superhero genre.(super strength, super speed, super vagina) those are all well and good but very much an overtapped natural resource. I like comics like Wormwood both the ennis version and the other guy version. I almost like the other guys version a little better but Ennis is a mother fucking legend and anything Ennis rules. Lesse, I also like what they are doing with that little mouse squad comic. I can't remeber the name of it but it's about 3-4 little mice that go on epic adventures.
I like Goons also. Goons rules.
And Ennis' new Punisher is fucking golden.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-07-06 11:15:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Garth Ennis's work on both "Hellblazer" and "Preacher" was hugely influencial on me. John Constantine is a raging badass and Rev. Jesse Custer & crew were awesome. "Preacher" was just so fucking ridiculously violent sometimes, but hysterical and thought-provoking as well. Neil Gaiman's work I find a bit too... British... sometimes. Loved his book "American Gods" though. "The Watchmen" by Alan Moore is just so fucking complex. Poor Alan... they love to take his books and turn them into movies against his wishes. (League Of Extraordinary Gentlemen, From Hell, V For Vendetta)
Submitted by Razor (user info) at 2006-07-06 11:14:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I think people would be better off reading The Watchmen than this which was inspired by one part of the Watchmen but is really nothing like it at all.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-07-06 11:09:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
The anti-geek strikes again.
Me no like comics. Except for Calvin & Hobbes. And they died.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2006-07-06 11:08:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
ever check out water works? Seems like your sort of style.
Submitted by Poots (user info) at 2006-07-06 11:07:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
didn't really care for it. I am more into Garth Ennis and Neil Gaiman they tend to step over every other writer. Also anything starwars is good. The newest edition being super fucking sweet looking. I haven't gotten a chance to check it out yet but I bought the preview with that hotly red twi'lek chick on the cover.
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-07-06 11:04:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You know, i took a comic book class last semester and i still know little or nothing about comics.
I did read the watchman and some preacher comics.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-07-06 11:03:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-07-06 10:53:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
I got batman vs Spawn and Batman VS Judge Dread and I have 'Batman: Crimson Mist' which is Batman as a vampire and....I should stop shouldn't I....yeah.
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that's hot.
THANKS. i'mo look that up.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-07-06 10:56:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/1563894777/202-5654183-6375850?v=glance&n=266239
Copy and paste that link for the Batman Crimson Mist book at Amazon. You can get all the details (ISBN: 1563894777 ) and find it in the USA. I think you owe me porno for that.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-07-06 10:53:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I got batman vs Spawn and Batman VS Judge Dread and I have 'Batman: Crimson Mist' which is Batman as a vampire and....I should stop shouldn't I....yeah.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-07-06 10:49:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i love comics!!!!
i <3 the maxx. he is teh awesome. and if i can find the ones where batman became a vampire i'd be super happy too.
i'm a geek :(
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-07-06 10:48:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I jsut spent 20 quid but got issues vol 1: 1-24 vol 2: 1-18 vol3: 1-17 and some of the special additions. I demand you give me my money back becuase you quite clearly forced me to buy them.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-07-06 10:40:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Violent comics, what fun.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-07-06 10:38:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You just gave my love for comics a whole new meaning. That was one of the most brilliant ways in which I have ever heard a comic book mentioned. I have never heard or read 'The Authority' but I fully intend to find out. I'm trawling eBay as I type. You piss me off becuase you make me need to buy the first issues of an expensive series. This was fucking fantastic, thought provoking and generally inspiring. Review more of the lesser known comics........you cunt.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-07-06 10:34:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't read it, but I'm glad you gave me a warning, so +2 for the warning alone.