UGR- Choking on air (713 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.66 on 20 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (View user info) at 2006-07-07 21:29:12 EDT
http://www.ubersite.com/m/89888
----
The captain goes down with the ship right? The old line is more than a saying, its truth. After the years spent on a ship that is called your own, it really becomes a part of your life.
The sloshing sound of water kept creeping closer with ever increasing speed as the deck below Richard's feet sank to more of an incline. After having order the rest of the crew to leave on the lifeboats, Richard had found his way to the captain's lodge. The books and charts that had covered his desk were sliding off, and Richard sat in his chair one last time to remember all that had gone on.
His ship was his second love, besides his wife Maria.
"Maria..." Richard said with his lips faintly whispering her name. The brown haired beauty he had met when he was just a kid, the girl who lived down the street. During the winter times Richard used to throw snowballs at her as she walked to school, and she used to screech and run away from him. Laughing, Richard was make chase and give her no respite, following her all the way to school throwing snowballs as best he could.
As Richard got older, so did Maria. They talked and became friends. Towards the end of elementary school they were inseparable. Richard hadn't understood the gravity of a girl at that age spending so much time with a boy. When she asked him to the sixth grade dance he had accepted, expecting to go with a friend.
It was the first time he had ever noticed a girl before. She wore a pink dress the fell to her ankles and made her look like a fairy. Richard had worn some khaki pants and the nicest shirt he had, one that was devoid of any logos. Thinking back he was terribly underdressed compared to Maria, but at the time he hadn't known any better.
A loud groan reverberated around the ship and brought Richard back to the present. The boat was under structural duress as the aft became submerged in water, causing internal pressure it had never felt before, as well as causing the back end to rise out of the water. Richard's chair began to slide towards the incline and he stood up allowing it to go out from underneath him.
It was scary, the thought that he would die. Had she been afraid? Had Maria feared the end?
Of course back in high school there was no fear of death. Richard and Maria attended the same local high school. Richard made friends with the boys and Maria with the girls. The separation of the sexes was very apparent at the age of 13. Girls were distant and illogical to Richard, who found himself to be very foolish around them. Except with Maria. She had a calming effect on him, he felt comfortable and at peace when she was around, even though her friends would laugh and giggle at him.
As time went on Richard became more sure of himself, and managed to convince a girl to date him. She was plain and dull in his memory, and they only dated for a month. At the time it was a great achievement though. But it coincided with Maria becoming distant and cold to him. She avoided him and his efforts to contact her. After a few months of this Richard decided he had had enough. One rainy evening Richard marched down the street determined to get her attention. He pounded on the door, a soaking wet 16 year old who could just as easily be inside lounging around. At first Maria didn't come to the door. He pounded and hollered at her as the sheets of cold rain soaked his clothes and chilled him to the bone. But he was not to be deterred.
Then she opened the door standing in the sliver of an opening she had allowed him. Richard fumed and raged, he stomped around telling her how hurt he was that she denied him her friendship. He babbled on that he was not diseased, not something to be ignored. Finally he turned on her and asked straight out what was wrong with him.
She stood there for a moment as the rain pelted the partially open door and Richard the same. She watched him without expression, until finally a tear slide down her face and caught him cold. Even in the rain it caused him to shiver.
Then she flung the door open, wrapped her arms around him, and gave him the first kiss of his life.
It was electric. It was warm. It was comforting. It also rooted Richard to where he stood, completely stunned as she kissed him with tears streaming down her face and mixing into the rain. After a moment of shock wore off, Richard wrapped his arms around her waist and they held each other in a simple and lovely kiss.
"Love...." Richard whispered. Then he realized he was all alone on the ship, and cried it out. "LOVE!"
Young love. It had struck Richard's heart as true as he knew up from down. Richard knew he loved Maria. They stayed together, and when Maria came of age, Richard married her. They had a small ceremony with the local father uniting them. Without much money and not much time off from work, their honeymoon consisted of a motel room that they rented at the town next over. They stayed for two nights before heading back and starting a life. Maria became pregnant, and bore their son.
Those were tough times. Money was tight and the pair yelled at each other more than they should have. Richard remembered how upset he would get, how sure he was that he was right and Maria wrong. Yet no matter how angry he was, at the end of every night Maria would slip into bed with him and kiss him on the cheek. Sometimes it would be a slighter kiss than normal, but she always did and it made all the difference to him.
When their son died a few years later, the pair were heartbroken. They had planned on having another child, but the need went away. It seemed like it would be a replacement. Maria was distraught and Richard stopped yelling at her. It was his turn to kiss her goodnight every night then. The loss of their son hurt Maria more than Richard, though they both loved the child very much. But a part of Maria went into the ground with their son's child body. A part that deserved to live a full life.
Time went on, and as it did wounds healed. The two became social again, spending time going to restaurants and movies as much as possible. Occasionally they would go to the city with friends and see plays.
But Richard's job in the military kept him away more than he wanted. Every time he would leave for deployment he dreaded it. He wanted to see his wife, but she was always there when he came back from an assignment.
A loud crash roared through the ship and Richard turned to see the door to his cabin break open and water come rushing in. It spilled around his ankles and began rising up his legs quickly overtaking his waist. Papers and boxes began to float on the water as Richard drifted back into memory.
That one time when he came back to find an empty house with a note on the table. Maria was in the hospital.
He had come in a shaken and shocked man. Asking for his wife, a doctor directed him to the door of a room and cautioned him. It was then he learned of the tumor. Maria had brain cancer, and because no one had ever known, she was going to die. Richard entered the room of his wife and came to her bedside. With a weak and frail hand she reached out for him, and he held her. He held her sobbing into her neck and clutched her as he had as a 16 year old boy. She wrapped her arms around his back and stayed silent as he sobbed into her hair, her beautiful brown hair.
Pulling back she cupped her hands around his cheeks and pulled him to her face, and their lips connected. It was just as electric as the first time, on that cold rainy night. The kiss took the breath right out of his mouth as he kissed her tell her hands slid down and fell limp to the bedside.
He kissed her again and again and told her the words he had known were true for so long. He told her that he loved her. And each kiss sucked the air right out of his mouth, choking him. He choked on the air and the tears as....as.....
Richard thrashed back as realization hit him. The room was pitch black and he was completely submerged in water. The ship had sunk far below sea level and was filled with water. In desperation to survive he tried to find the door but couldn't see in the dark. Water began to spill into his lungs as his body forced him to take a breath. His cold, wet clothes clung to him as distantly...ever so distantly....Richard felt Maria's arms wrap around his neck and her lips on his.
The room became light. It became an expanse of white going in every direction. And Maria was there, holding him and kissing him. Pulling back just far enough to speak, she whispered to him.
"I love you." She said.
Then the light engulfed both of them.
User Reviews
Submitted by URMY_bitch (user info) at 2006-08-14 22:26:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by r0fl (user info) at 2006-08-02 00:06:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm all tingly, that's for sure.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-08-02 00:01:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2006-07-27 00:31:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bubba camwhore http://www.ubersite.com/m/90963
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-07-09 13:57:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Taking Back Uber.
I am not coosing between these two.
-Dave
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-07-08 21:09:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well done.
Submitted by ColchesterDr (user info) at 2006-07-08 12:55:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
good story
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-07-08 11:57:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
One of your best, very touching.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-08 03:59:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow..what a matchup. I'm not able to choose between the two, so you're both getting +2s from me.
This could use a good proofread, HV..and I think some parts could be reworked a tiny bit just to keep the moments poignant but a little less abrupt or melodramatic. But overall, it was a solid story and really touching. Very good.
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2006-07-08 01:06:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
gah sorry to ruin the rating but christ this was corny
titanic? what?
and titanic was corny!
Submitted by WatchMyStep (user info) at 2006-07-08 00:33:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by alwayspeach1 (user info) at 2006-07-08 00:29:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-07-08 00:26:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck.
I hate you so much right now.
*sigh*
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-07-07 23:29:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-07-07 23:18:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I AIN'T READIN' ALL THAT SHIT!!!!! :-D
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2006-07-07 23:18:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
impressive
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2006-07-07 23:05:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jesus this is good.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-07-07 22:48:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
3rd review. it should be counted
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-07-07 21:46:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Get it? See, because it was good, I added like a bajillion 'much's to the old cliche. I'm so smart I make my eyes bleed sometimes. Sometimes. SoMETImeS.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-07-07 21:43:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Much, much, much, much, much better late than never