When I woke up this morning, I was my father (622 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.4 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Hookhand (View user info) at 2006-07-09 04:19:34 EDT
22 is not supposed to feel old. It doesn't, but at the same time, I wonder if I am ever going to "feel" old. I wonder if Alan Ball was right in American Beauty when he wrote the line "You're going to be 18 the rest of your life."
I suddenly realized that not only will I never one day wake up prepared for the responsibilities of being older, "old" is going to sneak up on me like a ninja with a well-oiled walker and soft-soled velcro shoes. The signs are subtler.
I also think 22 is the worst birthday.
15 is exciting (In Michigan) because you get your learner's permit and can start driving
16 is your permanent liscence
17 is R rated movies
18 is adulthood, cigarettes and lotto tickets
19 is .....fuck, I don't know. Some places will rent you a car?
20 sucks ass because you want to be 21 so you can drink in bars
21 kicks ass because you can drink in bars and buy booze legally! Woot!
22 ............
22 is the first birthday where you feel like you aren't waiting for the next one.
I am sure my 20s will be a fucking blast. They have so far. Lots of fucking, pissing on the campus laundry building, doing tequilla shots the night before my organic chem final, hitting on my ex's best friend in front of her, drunken skinny-dipping with topless women.....the list goes on.
Maybe what I am feeling isn't age, maybe it's maturity. Whatever it is, I feel more and more like my father every day.
I find myself listening to NPR on the radio with a relative exclusivity. I find myself eating better than I used to, being more frugal, making more decisions. I find myself inheriting his avarice as well as his frugality, though.
Maybe it is as easy as living being the best way to prepare yourself for life. In any case, my Dad was right when he told me that his 2 main memories from college were freshman orientation, and graduation on what felt like was the next day. I didn't know what he was talking about at the time. Things seemed to drag when I couldn't fucking wait to get out of Jr. High school. Now that I wanted college to slow down so I could enjoy it more, it was gone before I knew what had hit me. Life is gathering momentum and I just want it to stop so I can enjoy where I'm at.
Does it get worse? Am I in for a life-time of soul-numbing work only to find my ability to enjoy myself depleting slowly with each new ache or pain, stiff joint, new allergy, inability to maintain an erection. Or is how it feels up to me?
In any case, I am going to call that chick that wanted me to drive to her house and nail her. You're only 22 once.
User Reviews
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-22 10:54:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I had a dream where I got my ratings back
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-07-10 17:07:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wait till you get to 35.
You don't give a fuck about anything.
It REALLY kicks ass.
Submitted by Hookhand (user info) at 2006-07-10 14:21:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Too bad Darko! You told me about your ratings not counting before I saw the -2. That would have been a pretty good fucking prank otherwise.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-10 04:45:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
(in case my ratings ever get restored)
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-10 04:37:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
-2DIE!
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-07-09 17:30:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I just waved bye bye to being 26... All this time you're thinking life is static. I'm young, I have more than I need outta life and things are good. Then 30 sneaks up on your ass and it just doesn't matter anymore.
I know 30 is still pretty young, but it ain't 20-something, that you can be sure.
All I know is, I'll never stop banging chicks in their 20's. There's no way in hell I'll find myself in my 30s and 40s gettin' it on with some chick my age. I SAY FUCK THAT.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-07-09 16:08:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
22 is a damned good age. All of em are, if you enjoy them properly.
Uh oh, I must be old..I just said "properly".
And don't forget: CAR INSURANCE PREMIUMS DROP AFTER 25!!
Submitted by Chazzy (user info) at 2006-07-09 12:37:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I've got 5 months left of being 21.. ah, it's scary.. me no likey.
Submitted by DirtyDoubleEntendre (user info) at 2006-07-09 12:28:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It all happened at the beginning of that turbulent decade known as the
eighties. Those were idealistic days: the candidacy of John Anderson,
the rise of Supertramp. It was an exciting time to be young.
-- Homer Simpson
I Married Marge
Submitted by hot_pocket (user info) at 2006-07-09 12:15:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Now that I wanted college to slow down so I could enjoy it more, it was gone before I knew what had hit me. Life is gathering momentum and I just want it to stop so I can enjoy where I'm at.
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so sadly true!
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-07-09 11:48:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're still too young to be President.
I think that's all you have left until you get to the AARP membership offer.
Submitted by RenTheUnsightly (user info) at 2006-07-09 11:41:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
yup, your life is pretty pointless, from now on. oh well.
Submitted by GnarlsBarkley (user info) at 2006-07-09 10:01:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Well, I'm not 22 yet, but I just had my 18th birthday, and this has been how it went for me.
(I live in Quebec by the way, so legal age isn't 21, but rather 18... and even then, it's just a sugjestion)
14 - Wishing it was my 18th birthday so I oculd be cool and buy booze
15 - haha.... Completley hammered, couldn't tell you what happened
16 - got my learners
17 - had a bar open till 6 in the morning with 300 people, because of my birthday (hence the drinking age being a sugjestion)
18 - got really trashed one too many times, my liver hates me today, and I feel old (sorry, I know you're 22) but, it's not as cool as I thought it would be when I was 14. This is balls.
my 19 with be the equal to you're 22. Gross.
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-07-09 05:12:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I hate being 22.
+1 for reminding me that it's all downhill from here.