Just leave it alone, it doesn't like you. (1110 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.94 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by LittleMonster (View user info) at 2006-07-10 10:09:59 EDT
Have you ever put down your keys and only moments later have them disappear? That last twenty in your pocket mysteriously vanish? That piece of paper with that beautiful girls number on, just up and take off? Well I have. In fact it has been happening to me on a regular basis, but it hasn't stopped at things going missing. Things have been appearing too. By the side of my bed a pair of earrings. A toy figure in my bath tub. A set of keys that definitely aren't mine and belong to no one I know. Has this ever happened to you?
I have been living in this apartment for just over a year now. When I moved I was in quite a hurry. Boxes and bags that weren't of immediate importance were stacked up in the deep, dark wardrobes of my bedroom. They already contained what looked like ten years of other peoples junk. At the time I was more concerned with making the place livable before I started back at work the next day. In hind sight I should have taken a few days off and done things properly. For example, I should have fixed the fan in the front room, defrosted the freezer and I should have definitely cleaned out all storage facilities.
It was ridiculously hot this weekend in Spain. With no wind to speak of, the stagnant air clung to sweating bodies and made a short walk to the shops a labor of Hercules. In favor of remaining inside with air-conditioning, I decided to do all the house work I had been procrastinating over for the past few months. Once completed, I had a good couple of boxes to put away and no where to put them. It was this that prompted the venture into the wardrobes. There are three in total, two used for storage and one for clothes.
Armed with bin bags and storage boxes, I began my mission, working methodically to the none so subtle thump of upstairs radio. I began with what I knew was mine, and after half an hour everything was neatly stacked in the corner of my room. Next came the assorted junk of the people past. Various memories and discarded relics of the life they had lived here, some I kept, but most was dumped to be thrown out.
That's when I saw it. Nestled between the folds of some old curtains, which obviously hadn't seen the light of day in years, something shiny caught my eye. On closer inspection, it appeared to be the reflective security sticker of a credit card. MY credit card. The very same credit card I had lost about four months ago. The worrying bit about it was, I had never been this far back in the wardrobe, nor had anyone else, seeing as how everything had remained undisturbed for over a year.
After a small case of the shudders and a cigarette brake, I continued with my quest, only to find item after item of my once missing belongings. Convinced now someone had been playing a particularly nasty practical joke, in my rage I failed to notice the shuffling on the top shelf. Before long everything with in reach was strewn over my bed and floor. Grabbing the nearest chair, I jumped on so I could see inside the top shelf without just pulling everything out on to my head. What greeted me stopped the breath in my lungs and plunged my stomach in the direction of my feet.
It looked at me and I looked at it, both of us frozen to the spot. A grimace flickered across its face as it edged towards me. At no more than a foot in height from what I could see, its squashed face could have been crushed in my hand, but the sheer annoyance that oozed from it's every pore was more than a little intimidating. From its bed of assorted goodies that were once of valuable consequence to me, a bony arm lifted a scraggy, gnarled finger towards my face. Slowly it inched closer until it made contact with my forehead. A small push was all it took to unbalance me from my chair.
I regained sense among the discarded rubbish on the floor, in time to see the wardrobe door roll slowly back into place and the yellowing angry eyes disappear behind the mirrored wood, with what I'm almost sure was a victory salute.
User Reviews
Submitted by GuardianAngel (user info) at 2006-08-01 12:00:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Having lived with you for the past three weeks, monster, I can quite confidently say that its not a Gremlin, its the avatar of the festering Camembert you kept locked in your fridge. Its after your soul, my darling.
And your housekeys, it would seem.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2006-07-16 09:44:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thank you, I feel stupid :)
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-14 11:22:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Title assigned to me. "By purpose not by plan"
Post made:
Saying no to a plane, saying yes to a porpoise
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2006-07-12 05:31:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'll see what I can do. I've never really tried to write anything like this post before, and I think I could have done a lot more with it, so hopefully this wasn't a one off. I pleased everyone seems to like it though.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-07-11 15:17:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
please keep it up. i like fear. i get sad at the fact i'm not afraid enough when i read stories any more.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2006-07-11 15:04:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2006-07-11 14:57:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-07-11 13:16:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
btw i did have a nightmare. it was awesome, thank you.
_________________________________________________________
Pleasure to serve
Submitted by guiness (user info) at 2006-07-11 13:50:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-07-10 13:40:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
I bet it's the same mother fucker who takes socks out of the washing process.
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No, that's it's twin brother. You know? The older, lazy fucker who never graduated college and can't think of anything better to do than ruin people's shit but he even sucks at that?
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-07-11 13:16:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
btw i did have a nightmare. it was awesome, thank you.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-07-11 13:06:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hate that little shit. I looked frantically around last night for my all black button up shirt, and it is nowhere in my house, at all. I looked everywhere. I even looked under the bed, in the trunk of my car, and under every couch cushion to no avail.
This is horsesit.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-07-10 17:02:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-07-10 16:32:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you shoulda killed that fyucker, he took my keys last weekend
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-07-10 15:04:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I might have one of those, and it might know where MY missing credit card is..hmm
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-07-10 13:52:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
well i won't be sleeping tonight. nosirreee bob nope.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-07-10 13:40:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I bet it's the same mother fucker who takes socks out of the washing process.
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-07-10 13:02:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2006-07-10 10:57:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Berty, you rock
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-07-10 10:54:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't take any guff from those swine, let them know who they're dealing with.
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-07-10 10:47:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have one of those, the thieving bastard.
Submitted by livEvil (user info) at 2006-07-10 10:44:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
E.T. phone home!
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-07-10 10:39:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shenanigens. you were'nt thinking ahead when you signed up to Uber, from your username it is obviously you who is the closet dweller. There is no correct spelling of shenanigans. Or there shouldn't be.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2006-07-10 10:35:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's the closest pic I could get of what is hiding in my wardrobe
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-07-10 10:34:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Since you dropped the f-bomb in the filename I can't see it.
what is the pic of???
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2006-07-10 10:33:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Is this a compliment?
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-07-10 10:29:50 (#)
Ranking: 2
B-Movie writing at its uber finest.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-07-10 10:29:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
B-Movie writing at its uber finest.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2006-07-10 10:26:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i might just do that
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-07-10 10:22:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This could be great as a series, the creature's first encounter with one of your dates, the day you and the creature sit down to discuss boundaries over coffee and a smoke, the undeniable attraction between you, and so on and so on.
Submitted by sexualchocolate1984 (user info) at 2006-07-10 10:15:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Entertaining. All the way through I was expecting the little creature off the Sprite adverts, but good nevertheless.