Fishing Can Get You Pussy and A Picture Tour From Around "These Parts" (1885 hits)
Category: Science & EnvironmentalRating: 1.83 on 65 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by SilvrWolf (View user info) at 2006-07-12 11:45:01 EDT
I'm a master fisherman and a subpar photographer. All evidence to these facts are included in this post. The picture is around 500kb, so if you're on dial-up, please be patient or dive headlong with reckless abandon into the 21st century and get broadband, loser. (says the man who uploaded this with a dial-up connection (fuck you, Verizon! I want my DSL, you bastards!))
If you don't enjoy this post, it means that you're different/strange/wierd (choose two) and should be shunned by all normal members of the human race and/or euthanized. Yeah, that or you have your own personal tastes and opinions...
AHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, wow! I couldn't type that last sentence with a straight face.
Seriously though: I shave kittens for the homeless.
User Reviews
Submitted by Alter (user info) at 2007-09-26 20:49:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No, Comment.
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2007-09-20 13:40:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-07-13 08:30:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
guiness: I didn't know they had computers in Wise, much less the internet. What, you stealing access from the Heritage Hall? :P
I hunt up near Paint Bank in Craig County with a bunch of people from around Wise. They're definitely simple country folk, but in general are good people.
icky: I ordered mine years ago from a company in CA that sold to movie photogs for publicity stills. They better still make those things (or maybe something better since it's been about 12 years now). I'll do a little research myself and see if I can find something for you.
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-07-12 23:24:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-07-12 20:41:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-07-12 12:51:01 (#)
Ranking: 0
hey icarus, they make a fluid-dampened tripod specifically designed for telephoto lenses. They're not cheap but well worth it. I have a picture of a honeybee from my old f4 that you can count the hairs on his abdomen. <sigh> I miss Ektar 25 film... and my 1200mm lens.
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I didn't know they make such a thing. I'll have to hit Amazon and National Camera.
Submitted by guiness (user info) at 2006-07-12 19:25:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice pics..I live in Wise county SWVA..beautiful place if you can stand all the hickishness :)
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-07-12 19:22:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hell no, Stagger; I'm a raw dog. Fucking A, man! I'm a wolf, for the love of Pete. Bird flu be damned.
Oh, yeah, Amontillado: I'm thinking about tying the bikini top on my Blazer's antenna and seeing if any nubile young girl tries to claim it. I will then proceed to seduce and take advantage of her and use her to satisfy my every last dirty carnal desire. Unless she's an uggo, of course. If that's the case, I'll film her and her podunk redneck fat slob of a boyfriend having sex, upload it to hideous-hillbillies-scrogging.com and make money off of their debauchery. 'Cause I'm cool like that.
That reminds me: I once had sex with this crazy chick from...
Uhhh, maybe I should save that story for another post.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-07-12 19:00:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hope you cooked the ducks, at least.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-07-12 18:30:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No prob about the ratings, Amon. I've stated a ton of times that I don't really care too much about them. The funny thing is that the more I say it, the higher my average ratings get. Probably just coincidence, though.
I think you're right about the pics, too. I'll try a few greyscale mods to them tonight. And they've all been cropped down.
Funny that you would mention the lower perspective, though. I have one that I did take from down on the surface, but I didn't like it as much. The problem with using a digi is focal length; when you take low shots, the cam likes to focus on the closest thing to it and the backgrounds and depth are often lost. I might try some aperture speed changes and see if that clears it up some. That fucking Mavica has almost as many features as my Nikon.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-07-12 18:20:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sorry about that.
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-07-12 18:20:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'd have liked the second picture much better in black & white, no sun, and no branches.
The third would've looked better in black & white too- you focus on the shapes and form rather than noticing the mountains in the background. It probably would've looked cool too if taken it from lower down.
What are you going to do with the swimsuit top?
Submitted by JDL (user info) at 2006-07-12 16:39:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's nice.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-07-12 16:24:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Shit. I didn't mean to ignore you earlier, HighVoltage.
Yes, Verizon does indeed suck but Adelphia has no plans for cable near my house in the near future and satellite is like $90/month, so fuck dat. I can get wireless here, but it also blows.
Thus, I'm stuck with Verizon, provided they actually get the DSL upgrades done before Armageddon.
You're over a year late, ya cocks!
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-07-12 15:44:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Purty pictures
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-07-12 15:35:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Kodachro-o-o-o-o-o-o-ome!
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-07-12 15:31:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like fishing but I've never gone fishing in a lake. I used to go deep sea fishing all the time though.
Submitted by GDR (user info) at 2006-07-12 15:15:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for fishing
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2006-07-12 15:09:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
don't know much about pho-to-gra-phy
that's not how the song goes?
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-07-12 14:50:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
inion: my previous comment was completely inappropriate and just downright uncouth. I sincerely apologize (unless you're considering taking me up on it <wink wink nod nod>) I have enrolled myself in Sensitivity Training and will keep you up to date on my progress. The instructor has big jugs and a kickin' caboose, so I'm sure I'll get an A.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-07-12 13:30:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
slvr - haha.
scourge - :*(
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-07-12 13:04:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-07-12 13:04:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I gotta run, guys and dolls. Have fun and remember, Ford sucks, fishing for bikini tops kicks major ass (I seriously caught that top from below a dam; it just wasn't attached to anyone, damnitall. [:(]) and I just broke a CD that I foolishly put in my back pocket.
And just to be a rednecked perv: hey inion, I've got something I'd like you to hold in your mouth just until the swelling goes down. I'll talk about Mustangs and JD if you need motivation. Get back to me on that, s'il vous plait. <I still love your mouth. Mmmhmm, those lips...> Creeped out yet? No? I'll try harder next time.
Lovies,
-SW
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-07-12 13:03:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
actually the 5.7 Hemi gets better mileage than my 4.7 Mopar, two reason really first is its lighter and second is at 45 and up it shuts down 4 cylinders for cruising.
Gets about 17 on the highway
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-12 13:02:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mustangs are garbage, katy. All of them. Sorry.
I do like my 75 F100 an awful lot though.
Nice pics.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-07-12 12:55:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i'm not gonna argue against the ford has big issues. rust, wiring, timing all that fun important crap. i totally agree but.... when it comes down to it, if i had the choice, i'd still be getting a collection of mustangs. i dunno why, but i love the body style, the 80s, the mustang II, and most of the 90s made me sad, but 64 1/2 through 72 and 05 and up really does make my heart go pitter patter.
i also miss the jeep. bamf what's that get like 12 mpg if even?
it's funny throughout my life i've driven all three of the cars i want to own one day but i never get to keep them. fuck.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-07-12 12:51:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hey icarus, they make a fluid-dampened tripod specifically designed for telephoto lenses. They're not cheap but well worth it. I have a picture of a honeybee from my old f4 that you can count the hairs on his abdomen. <sigh> I miss Ektar 25 film... and my 1200mm lens.
inion: I do like the new 'stangs, but they still have Ford engines in them (although Jaguar is helping them out in the engine dept.). It's all in what you have luck with.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-07-12 12:49:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ah yes the hemi. i have to scale models of a hemi. one like 1/8 and one like 1/16 or something. big engines make me drool. man i had to pull over whenever a convoy including LAVs went by in tacoma. just couldn't stand the beauty.
i had a rod from like 1960 something. i fixed it, gave it a new spool, and then someone threw it out during my first semester at college. i think i punched my brother for it although i'm pretty sure it was my mom. hitting sick old ladies is wrong i hear, especially when you want to be in their will. hitting little brothers is expected and accepted.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-07-12 12:46:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i just wish i could get into photoshop right now so i could post my ky pics. i took some perty ones. and ones that are now considered "art" too.
more tears.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-07-12 12:45:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah but Dodge brought back the Hemi and the fucking Charger....you really can't top that.
Cool thing is the Hemi is available in Jeep now too, My wife's Grand Cherokee has the 5.7L Hemi and it'll tear the doors off a Mustang...mainly because of the Full Time 4 Wheel Drive.
This post is great....or at least the convos within it.
Oldschool fisherman...yeah I guess, I still use Uglysticks and Berkely Lightin Rods and Still have my one and only Berkely Cherrywood.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-07-12 12:44:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I helped a guy build a baby blue Luv with a fuel-injected 283 in it pushing about 340 hp. We called it Hefty Smurf and it was indeed a sight to behold. I have a picture somewhere where the whole bed is obscured by tire smoke during a burnout and my friend is grinning like a shit-eating possum (there's a redneck phrase for you).
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-07-12 12:43:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-07-12 12:03:41 (#)
Ranking: 0
Icky, it's an old Sony Mavica 3.2mp with Nikon optics installed. It just takes really good outdoor photos and was the top of the line when it was bought. It'll even take 30fps mpegs with sound. I use my Nikon SLR digi for most of my pics, but it's so new (and expensive), I'm scared to take it anywhere unless I wrap it and myself in bubblewrap. That, and I'm not hauling around a dozen lenses everywhere I go (I like diversity).
----
A man after me own heart. I bought a Canon Digital Rebel in college, and have a growing armada of lenses. Problem is that I was too cheap to spring for the motion reduction telephoto, which means I have to anchor the camera in place with cement if I want to get anything other than a blurry confusion.
30fps on a box camera? Sheee-it! I used to use my old Coolpix for MPEG, but the only thing I could salvage from it was the audio.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-07-12 12:43:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
wow you guys specify your rods.
i feel so inadequate now that i don't care as long as it works when it comes to fishing.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-07-12 12:41:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
also i must defend ford because the body style. they kept their body styles relatively similar instead of the mongoloid look chevy has and the droop that dodge gave itself. chevy's look retarded now and dodge's make me think of britney spears and her eyes looking like they're going to slide off the sides of her face.
also must defend ford because they went retro on the mustang and that made me wet.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-07-12 12:40:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Found On Road Dead
Fix Or Repair Daily
trust me, my 78 Bronco, 351 Modified with the 4 Barrel Edelbrock and Edelbrock intake was fun....but broke down all the time.
My old 85 Ram Powerwagon could drive without gas or oil...fucker was unstoppable
My Chevy, 97 CHeyenne was cool and drove like a Cadillac, that's what Chevy has over other trucks..smooth rides
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-07-12 12:40:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
bamf: I use Penn exclusively at the house on the Eastern Shore and elsewhere on saltwater, but they're so goddamned complicated internally, I just don't bother inland. Penn and Mitchell? You're an old-school pishermang, ain'tchee?
And I concur wholeheartedly about women in pickups. Oh yeah...
<engorge>
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-07-12 12:39:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
tears of joy are brimming.
i used to drive a silverado but just the little 1500. it was a 350 though. i <3 truck.
i wanna get a chevy luv and put a 350 in it and drive it around with a giant vroom coming out when i pass all these little rice rockets. again more things i want to shit themselves.
it astounds me how much of a hick i am. i didn't even grow up in a place where it had to be specified that you can't marry your cousin.
Submitted by SullyThePirate (user info) at 2006-07-12 12:35:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WTF is "dial-up?"
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-07-12 12:35:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My big truck is '93 Silverado 3500. It's got no lift kit or big tires (yet), but it's got a 6.5L turbo [bio]diesel that accelerates like a racecar. I have a 2-1/2 ton '67 Dodge flatbed truck if the Chevy's not big enough for you.
P.S. Ford both simultaneously sucks and blows. REDNECK FIGHT!! GO!
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-07-12 12:34:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ram1500QuadCabShortbedwithacapandaskullinthetowhitchandaGratefulDeadStickerontheback
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-07-12 12:32:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i know :( i miss seeing them everywhere, all the guys in pick ups around here are so ...
blech.
i cry.
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-07-12 12:32:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
GREAT FUCKING PHOTOS
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-07-12 12:30:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
women in pickup trucks are hot hot hot
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-07-12 12:29:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey Cyst, how old are you? Are you local around here? You wanna go throw back a pitcher sometime? And I don't fuck anyone until they've bought me dinner, so get your loot on and we'll talk.
I feel icky now.
I'm over it.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-07-12 12:28:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-07-12 12:25:25 (#)
Ranking: 0
inion: of course I'm a redneck! How 'bout you, me and a bottle of Jack hop in my big truck and go down on the river. Haha. Get it? "go down"? Oh, man. I slay me. Seriously, I could eat a peach for hours...
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that makes me weep. i wanted to do the kentucky bourbon trail and then head to tenn for the jack distillery. i cried that day.
if you're serious about "big truck" i could be up for that.
i wanna fordf350nonduallykingcablongbed4x4. in blue. dark dark blue. with 38" tires and a lift that'll make suburban housewives shit themselves in their H2s.
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-07-12 12:28:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Verizon sucks man.
Seriously.
When I pointed out to them that they were charging me for a device I should have received a month ago, they told me to "Stop calling us at home."
Fuckers, I switched to cable. It's faster anyway.
Although in all honesty Verizon is made up of assholes.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-07-12 12:28:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
woops
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-07-12 12:27:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Penn son, Penn is the only reel you should ever buy...ever
Or Mitchell if you get in a pinch.
My buddy had a Phlueger once....now we make jokes while we're fishing about like 'OH shit you been phluegerized' or 'shut your mouth phlueger'
of course they're a lot funnier when you're stoned but you get the idea.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-07-12 12:25:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
FartSmeller: mom says thank you. Never has her ass gotten more attention.
bamf: what the hell is wrong with Pfleuger? I mean, I'm not gonna buy another one anytime soon and I've had to take that one apart every season to relube, but it's been a reliable rig.
sico: I was just giving you a hard time. And you do know that you can get flagship Shimano products cheaper through anyone else but Cabela's, right? All my other rigs are Shimano reels on BPS poles. I even have a FX2000 that's almost 16 years old and has never been opened for service. Shimano is the king of freshwater. Penn kicks their ass on saltwater, though.
inion: of course I'm a redneck! How 'bout you, me and a bottle of Jack hop in my big truck and go down on the river. Haha. Get it? "go down"? Oh, man. I slay me. Seriously, I could eat a peach for hours...
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-07-12 12:20:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Those pictures were great!!! I loved them.
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-07-12 12:17:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
We should fuck.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-07-12 12:15:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
bamf: the N1 is a really nice rig. Though I've always been a fan of Nikon since I got an f4 back in my teens. You have to respect a camera that will do EVERYTHING except go to the bathroom for you, including keeping the aperture open for a 999h999m999s time-lapse shot. Not that I ever tried that.
Sony's come a long way in recent years with their cams and I've been nothing but impressed. I had the Nikon optics installed (an expensive mod, btw) in my Mavica because, well, Nikon is the shit.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-07-12 12:15:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i was trying to stick together the few pics i got from kentucky and then i got booted outta photoshop :(
yer a redneck aintcha?
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-07-12 12:14:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Hey there you ancient relic, I was giving you a hard time. I fish a bunch and I know a good set-up when I see one so you can take your Wolverine tighty-whities off and put the Snarf lunch box away. I too have a good set up but I use all Shimano gear from Cabela's, except for the line, I use Trilene, low friction, shapeless line. You look like someone I once knew...when I lived in VA but a different neck of the woods. What area are you in?
Submitted by FartSmeller (user info) at 2006-07-12 12:13:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh yeah bitches? I just put fucking NoS on my fishing pole and my reel is made of motherfucking CHINCILLA FUR.
I catch so many fish I had to put an aquarium in your mom's ASS.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-07-12 12:12:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I almost had to deduct points for the Phlueger.
But yes....THANK YOU SPIDERWIRE
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-07-12 12:09:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sico, you vapid cunt, that's an light-action IM7 graphite Bass Pro Shops pole and a Pflueger Criterion ultralight reel. I've landed 20lb. cats, a 17lb. striper and caught more largemouth (including a citation) and smallmouth on that rig than you have pubes. I can also cast it about 40yds. with 1/8 oz. of weight on it (bless you, Spiderwire).
DO NOT ATTEPT TO FURTHER ANGER THE MASTER FISHERMAN!!!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-12 12:08:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very cool photos, you rascal.
Trespassing is fun.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-07-12 12:05:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've got some decent infared pics, I posted one here http://www.pulsehead.com/message/2863/photography%3A+Old+Boy.html
but made it so big its kind of hard to appreciate.
I have two cameras, one is a Sony DCSF717, 5 Megapixel monster, it takes beautiful pictures and I have a SONY DSC-N1 which I have with me always. The N1 I only got a few months ago so I'm still getting used to it but with 8.1 Megapixels it too takes great shots.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-07-12 12:03:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Icky, it's an old Sony Mavica 3.2mp with Nikon optics installed. It just takes really good outdoor photos and was the top of the line when it was bought. It'll even take 30fps mpegs with sound. I use my Nikon SLR digi for most of my pics, but it's so new (and expensive), I'm scared to take it anywhere unless I wrap it and myself in bubblewrap. That, and I'm not hauling around a dozen lenses everywhere I go (I like diversity).
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-07-12 11:58:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
+1 Because you are no fisherman with a Shakespeare cheap buy pole like that. I catch more fish than you; should've showed pictures although you already told me what you caught in my last posts' review.
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2006-07-12 11:57:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That's cool. The bridge picture is really nice, and I also like the deer pics.
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-07-12 11:57:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
In the last five years or so, there is a reported increase in the number of triplets born to whitetails. The DGIF is currently investigating whether these are caused by man or just a natural cycle.
Nightshots are really hard unless you have a camera with a 0 lux lens and aperture. Even then, they're hit or miss at best. Backlighting with a infrared light and 0 lux creates some really interesting effects, though. I might post some of my pics using that technique sometime.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-07-12 11:56:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That was MY waterfall, which means you snuck into MY yard, you sonuvabitch (please see the end of http://www.ubersite.com/m/88149 to make any sense of this response.) How'd you get around the paintball mortars and tiger pits?
Seriously though, those are some nice shots, especially of the bikini top. What's the stats on that camera of yours?
Waterfall shots are always a pain in the ass as 90% of the time the area's too shady to capture the running water as anything other than a blur. Only way to fix it is to spring for one of those big-ass flash fixtures you have to carry on your back like a broadsword.
Submitted by v8lover (user info) at 2006-07-12 11:53:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Good one!
I need a vacation.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-07-12 11:52:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I got a few nice pics down in Kentuckyland, one of particular interest is the one of the 3 spotted fawns on the road. Odd only in the sense that it is rare for deer to have a litter of 3, 2 is usually the max.
I tried getting night shots of my mom's fish pond but its so tough to get good night shots. I tried with both cameras and neither came out well.