Motorwank (1470 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dirty HumorRating: 0.7 on 24 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Sexualchocolate (View user info) at 2006-07-13 07:54:05 EDT
Is it wrong to crack one off in your car?
Yesterday lunchtime I was sitting in my car, as I do everyday. I sit on a quiet, half built industrial park surrounded by fields. Lovely place to sit and chill out for an hour, eat my sandwiches and generally forget that I have to go back to the office and slave my ass of all afternoon.
Yesterday was different.
As per usual I was sat in my spot, eating my sandwiches and watching the Sopranos on my PSP. I'd been a very bad boy for most of the morning and had been reading an erotic story online instead of slaving my ass off. This story was awesome, it told the tale of an adventurous couple who had a fantasy about the wife screwing other men in front of her husband. To cut a long ass story short, she stood in for a stripper at a batchelors party and screwed everyone. The graphic description of this act refused to leave my mind as I went for my lunch, and I found myself, after finishing my sandwiches, with a growing horn in my trousers.
So, I did what any hot blooded male would do, I cracked out porn. I checked around and parked about 5-6 meters behind me was a sensible car with a middle aged woman sat in the driving seat. She looked like she was trying to get as many ciggarette's as possible into her lunch break and was not paying me much attention, plus I don't think she could see me from where she was. After reassuring myself that she couldn't see me, I began to jerk off...
After a bit of porn and sin, as you can imagine, the greatest male urge crept up on me. I was gonna blow, but where? I frantically looked around he car for some sort of absorbant device. Girlfriends cloths on the back seat? (she treats my car like a fucking wardrobe) NO. My floor mats? NO. Then I spotted it, the sock I keep in the car for blowing my nose (chronic hayfever sufferer) will do perfect. I opened it up, stuck my helmet in the end, and thar she blows!
The woman in the car behind me was gone by the time I'd finished, hopefully she just ran out of time and wasn't on her way to the cop shop to report some "indecent exposure".
I want to know your opinions on this, say she didn't see me, or pretend she wasn't there in the first place, is it OK to crack one off in your car if you have suitable clean up equipment and your parked out of the way where "hypothetically" no one can see you?
User Reviews
Submitted by Ejryuu (user info) at 2008-07-10 17:47:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I don't think I could get away with it, mostly because I park at a small hockey arena parking lot where the pee wee kids go to play...IT'S JUST A COINCIDENCE!
Submitted by experima (user info) at 2008-07-10 17:00:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Fatterrific (user info) at 2007-06-06 07:08:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Once I masturbated while driving, on the freeway. So my answer is yes, it's all good.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2007-06-06 07:07:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sister christian is playing in my head now for some reason, but with new lyrics
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2007-06-06 06:57:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Had me at the title. Rolls off the tongue.
Submitted by The_Hitcher (user info) at 2007-06-06 06:27:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I've pleasured myself many a time in the back of complete strangers' cars. They love it, the slags.
Submitted by rob_berg (user info) at 2007-06-06 06:14:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ha!
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-07-14 03:55:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
How is a sock suitable cleanup equipment?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-07-13 16:55:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MisterDevious (user info) at 2006-07-13 09:29:39 (#)
Ranking: 0
Into the window of a car passing you doing 80 on the interstate, priceless.
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best blowjob I ever had
Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2006-07-13 15:39:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-07-13 11:18:04 (#)
Ranking: 0
Then I spotted it, the sock I keep in the car for blowing my nose (chronic hayfever sufferer)
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Dude, the fact that you keep a sock in your car for blowing your nose says it all...
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That and your urge/willingness to rub one out, in your car, in a public place, on your lunch hour. Somehow I feel certain the sock is still lying there and that you'll continue to use it for both purposes at will. If we ever meet remind me to make you go wash your hands before we shake. You dirty little monkey.
Submitted by GDR (user info) at 2006-07-13 13:17:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Amen!
Submitted by dove666 (user info) at 2006-07-13 12:40:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-07-13 11:18:04 (#)
Ranking: 0
Then I spotted it, the sock I keep in the car for blowing my nose (chronic hayfever sufferer)
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Dude, the fact that you keep a sock in your car for blowing your nose says it all...
.............................
I'm guessing the sock is still there.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-07-13 11:29:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey, if you're going to get mad at me every time I do something
stupid, then I guess I'll just have to stop doing stupid things!
-- Homer Simpson
Mr. Plow
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-07-13 11:27:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Spank away, Sparky.
It's your only chance of ever "getting any"...even if it's just a date with your right hand.
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-07-13 11:24:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAHA
yes, as long as you clean up after yourself.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-13 11:22:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/59656
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-07-13 11:18:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Then I spotted it, the sock I keep in the car for blowing my nose (chronic hayfever sufferer)
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Dude, the fact that you keep a sock in your car for blowing your nose says it all...
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-07-13 09:42:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"So, I did what any hot blooded male would do..."
...And had a wank in a public place.
Of course it's normal. Why on the way into work ladies and gentlement wank on the trains and the busses around the globe. It certainly isn't something that is associated with sexually deviant homeless people and I'm sure all women would consider discovering an overweight man hunched double in his car, pumping away into a sock, the very highlight of their day.
Submitted by MisterDevious (user info) at 2006-07-13 09:29:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
In your own car, yes.
In someone else's car, only with their permission.
Into the window of a car passing you doing 80 on the interstate, priceless.
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-07-13 09:16:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This is so interesting, I'm just gonna listen
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-07-13 08:44:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I found this amusing and no it's not wrong, except when I do it I'm driving which makes it hazardous.
Submitted by Chazzy (user info) at 2006-07-13 08:16:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Woman: Your son was trespassing on my property and destroyed a very
valuable stone gargoyle, and -- Are you wearing a grocery bag?
Homer: I have misplaced my pants.
Bart After Dark
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Strangely apt.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-07-13 08:12:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
eat my sandwiches
--
It's Sammich damn you..SAMMICH.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-07-13 08:02:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
um....what?