Waitress Pwned, About Fucking Time (1667 hits)
Category: Humor -> Dumb JobsRating: 1.12 on 45 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Remy L (View user info) at 2006-07-13 15:38:55 EDT
Before Monday I was cursed out for thinking waiting tables was easy.
What's so fucking hard about it?
The concept of timeliness, writing down an order, and delivering that order is so completely simple I have serious worries about wait staff that is "too busy."
I didn't show up at your fucking restaurant to hear "too busy" or to otherwise receive excuses for not being able to be competent at an easy fucking job.
And yes, I've waited tables before. I made fair money and worked hard, but I was never "too busy."
And finally, fucking FINALLY, a manager agreed with me...
---
Monday night my wife and I go to a bar to have some drinks, eat some appetizers, and play some trivia. We are seated and sit there waiting for 15 minutes. Trivia is going on, so we don't get too worked up, but after 15 minutes I ask the hostess if we are supposed to order at the bar or if we have a waitress.
The waitress shows up and takes our order.
We order a bucket of beer and an order of chicken quesadillas. The bucket of beer is, no shit, 5 fucking bottles of beer in a plastic bucket. No ice. Just opened bottles.
We get our fucking food before the beer shows up. How fucking hard is it to get FIVE fucking bottles of beer???
I start drinking like a madman and finish 3 of them in about 20 minutes. The chicken que's are gone, too.
So she stops by twice over the course of an hour and we order again on the third time around. I get wings, my wife gets another order of chicken que's, and we order 2 more beers, having finished the 5 in the bucket.
I shit you not, it took her 10 minutes to bring the beers.
Now, the place wasn't full, but there were people around. Our waitress had 7 tables that night, all with people at them.
Logistically speaking, if she had just made rounds of each table then waited 5 minutes then started again, she would rotate each table every 15 minutes. Timing would have been perfect.
So it comes time to pay the check and I'm not completely sober, but I figure fuck it.
They charge my credit card and on the receipt I write, "No tip" and then write the timeline of our time at the place.
I leave the signed copy on the table and go to take a piss, and go figure, the waitress is waiting for me near the door.
She starts going on about how she was so busy and couldn't help it, and I'm really trying to bite my tongue and not curse her out. The owner of the place comes over and asks what the problem is and she is fucking stupid enough to say that I insulted her, didn't leave "a customary gratuity" (her words, not mine) and then shows him the timeline on the receipt.
He looks at it, looks at her, looks at me, and says, "Is this accurate?"
My wife nods, and I say, "Sure is. I hate to be a dick, but this place wasn't nearly busy enough to wait 15 minutes for her to show up and another 15 for 5 bottles of beer in a bucket."
The dude just looks at me, shocked that I spoke so bluntly.
The waitress starts to say something, and I interrupt with, "And while she's complaining about not getting a $10 tip, her other tables are waiting."
So the owner tells the waitress to go ahead and finish with the tables and when she's gone, he asks if we'd been there before.
We tell him yes, that we'd been there the week before, and he actually REMEMBERED us.
The SAME waitress, who wasn't ours the week before, had dropped a bowl of blue cheese. By some random freak chance of physics, the bowl landed flat on its bottom, didn't break, but blue cheese sprayed all over, getting on my wife's shirt and pants. They paid for a round of drinks.
So he nodded and gave us a $50 gift cert. for the place and apologized. He gave the standard manager speech and then looked back at the receipt, shook his head, and said, "30 minutes to get a fuckin' beer?"
I replied, "That's what I said!!"
I have no sympathy for wait staff. Their job is just as hard as every other job. I deal with customers all day, and so do they. That's their fucking job. I will tip because it's the right thing to do and it's customary.
But for fuck's sake, when I walk through the door, if I'm pissed off in the first 15 minutes, I'm going to be critical of everything.
If any of you are wait staff, make them happy right after they walk through the door and they'll forgive what you might screw up later.
User Reviews
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2006-07-23 02:33:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Most people when they have bad service don't leave a tip, or the slightly more insulting penny. When I have bad service. I go up to the manager and thank them for the bad service. Thank you for making me wait to get my food, thank you for geting half my ordey wrong, thank you for delivering my food in the wrong order, thank you for giving me cold food. I also like to write insulting or offencive things on the recipt where I'm supposed to sign. I also make sure at the begimnning of the meal, to see what tables they waited that night and steal all their tips if the service sucked. I may be an asshole, but I do take more than I've spent, because two hours of my time wasted is two hours I could have been working.
Submitted by Renzo (user info) at 2006-07-23 01:48:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Fuckin' eh! I COMPLETELY understand this person's story because I've had similar experiences. While this story was (or may have been) an isolated case, I recognize the fact that there are many good and exceptional people working as wait staff that indeed know and understand their work responsibilities. These same people work hard to EARN their salary AND their tips! Most probably realize that they need to do an EXCEPTIONAL job in order to EARN tips. THAT'S WHY IT'S A TIP! A tip, at least as I understand it, is simply a "little something on the side" for EXTRAORDINARY service(s) rendered. I never believed in blindly doing the "customary" thing of tipping nor am I not easily "guilt-tripped" into someone else's perception of the "right thing to do", particularly with regard to giving tips or gratuities. It's my fuckin' money which I worked hard to earn therefore I'll do with it what I fuckin' please! Don't try to make subtle "suggestions" (i.e. on a service bill) to get a tip from me. All that makes me do is think of the way a dog looks up at you when he sees you eating and in its eyes, you can see that it wants some of what you got. Pathetic.
In my mind, I'm like the person who wrote about his experience: Make me feel special when I walk through the door of your service-providing business. No matter what kind of business that is, if that business wants me to return, or to tell others great things about it, or even tip it's staff, I should be made happy (especially if I don't look happy after a long day) when I walk in, be given the best service possible, and, if I've been a nice customer, be offered an invitation to come back. Many service businesses, particularly restaurants and hotels are fast losing this simple requirement of customer etiquette. So, if I (or any of my family or friends who may be with me) receives what I - as the customer - perceives is "poor or unsatisfactory services, DON'T expect a tip from me. Count on me to report such shitty service to the management. Now, I think the service is good or great then I'll tip on the SUGGESTED 15 (fifteen) percent scale (of the total cost of my order). If I think the services is EXCEPTIONAL or that the wait staff went beyond his/her "call of duty" then I will HAPPILY give a VERY GENEROUS gratuity as well as make it a point to inform the management of my pleasure of having such a professional person provide me service. Just remember: I shouldn't have to ask for great service, I EXPECT it.
~ Renzo
Submitted by dr_weazel (user info) at 2006-07-17 21:51:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-07-17 18:26:46 (#)
Ranking: -2
Goddamn, you're one whiney faggot, aren't you? I don't know what waiter stuck his finger up your butt to piss you off like this but I'm just going to assume he started to go for the rest of the hand, too.
-------
So... basically, what you're saying is that you dont have a reply because I pwnt you, so you're gonna throw random insults instead?
Yea, YOU ARE TEH WINNNNNNNARRRRRRR!!!!!
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-07-17 18:42:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
So you had a bad night?
Deal.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-07-17 18:26:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Goddamn, you're one whiney faggot, aren't you? I don't know what waiter stuck his finger up your butt to piss you off like this but I'm just going to assume he started to go for the rest of the hand, too.
Submitted by dr_weazel (user info) at 2006-07-17 17:35:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-07-16 19:38:59 (#)
Ranking: 0
Seriously, if you think some fucking sob story about being in college and not being able to afford books should automatically qualify you for instant tips, you can get fucked, I'm pretty sure all the other college students working for minimum wage, at places like McDonalds or some shitty warehouse or whatever, who DONT get tips would agree with me.
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Then get a job as a waiter, fuckface. Don't sit here telling me waiters and waitresses should get better jobs, then bitch that some people don't have jobs that don't allow them to get tips. Those idiots should then, under your logic, get a better job as a waiter.
Waiters and waitresses make less than minimum wage mostly for the reasons that they are expected to recieve tips. If a waiter didn't get a single tip all night, he'd end up making less than twenty dollars for hours of work. He wouldn't even have to have done a bad job, just not an exemplary one. He does his job just as well as anyone can expect him and after hours of work he doesn't even get a crisp twenty. Are you fucking kidding me? You're either a cheap asshole or a rich snob, in one of these situations you have more money, but in both of them you're still a dick.
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Oh for fucks sake, somebody call the fucking whaaaaaambulance. Go cry to someone that gives a fuck. Waiters/Waitresses only deserve tips if they EARN THEM. It's FUCKING RETARDED to make it compulsory... what the fuck is so difficult for your tiny little brain to process there? I DONT GIVE A FUCK IF YOU DONT MAKE ENOUGH, GET AN EDUCATION AND A BETTER JOB.
I work about 10-15 hours of OVERTIME a week that I NEVER get paid for (I'm on a salary) and I dont bitch and moan about it. When I was younger and a student, I did pizza delivery, and got paid FUCK ALL, I'd be LUCKY if I made NZ$40 (equivalent of US$20) for a nights work. Closest thing I ever got to a tip was being passed the joint when I delivered a pizza to a bunch of stoners. I've also worked as a "bus-boy" at a restaurant, I NEVER EVER GOT ANY TIPS THERE and I was on less than the waiting staff. Why do the waiters/waitresses deserve tips more than the bus-boy.. or the chef... or the dish-washer? Over here, tipping is NOT compulsory, and that's the way it should be, you get a tip if your service is worth it. How the fuck can you be brain-dead enough to not understand that? Having a tip automatically calculated into your bill is fucking bullshit, ESPECIALLY all this fucking lame-ass crap about giving a carefully calculated percentage, only somewhere as retarded as the U.S could come up with such a fucking stupid system. You do realise that the U.S is pretty much the ONLY country in the world where tipping is considered compulsory dont you?
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-07-16 19:38:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Seriously, if you think some fucking sob story about being in college and not being able to afford books should automatically qualify you for instant tips, you can get fucked, I'm pretty sure all the other college students working for minimum wage, at places like McDonalds or some shitty warehouse or whatever, who DONT get tips would agree with me.
---
Then get a job as a waiter, fuckface. Don't sit here telling me waiters and waitresses should get better jobs, then bitch that some people don't have jobs that don't allow them to get tips. Those idiots should then, under your logic, get a better job as a waiter.
Waiters and waitresses make less than minimum wage mostly for the reasons that they are expected to recieve tips. If a waiter didn't get a single tip all night, he'd end up making less than twenty dollars for hours of work. He wouldn't even have to have done a bad job, just not an exemplary one. He does his job just as well as anyone can expect him and after hours of work he doesn't even get a crisp twenty. Are you fucking kidding me? You're either a cheap asshole or a rich snob, in one of these situations you have more money, but in both of them you're still a dick.
Submitted by dr_weazel (user info) at 2006-07-16 17:28:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2006-07-13 19:56:04 (#)
Ranking: 1
I always think of that opening scene in Res. Dogs, too, when discussing tips. I guess I'm partial because I work in the hospitality industry. Hotel is basically the same. Only we get no tips. People think we just type and give rooms keys. They have no idea how busy we are most of the time. At least big city hotels. It's ridiculous how people treat us. I have a few things to say for all of blue collar society:
We are not stupid. Some of us even have college educations.
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IF YOU HAD A COLLEGE EDUCATION, YOU WOULD NOT BE WORKING AS A WAITER/WAITRESS/WHATEVER FOR MINIMUM WAGE AND IF YOU ARE, YOU'RE A FUCKING USELESS MORON FOR NOT GETTING A BETTER JOB.
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We probably work harder than you at our crummy little jobs than you do in your cushy chaired office.
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EVERY STUPID FUCK WHO WORKS SOME LAME-ASS MINIMUM WAGE JOB THINKS THIS. THEY'RE ALL WRONG. FUCK OFF. NONE OF US BELIEVE YOU IN THE SLIGHTEST. MOST OF US HAVE WORKED THAT SORT OF JOB IN THE PAST SO WE KNOW WHAT IT'S REALLY LIKE.
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We do not just push buttons.
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YES... YES YOU DO.
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We definitely know when you think you're pulling one over on us to get a free room or whatever.
Complaining about us to our bosses does no good. We just laugh at you when you leave. Rarely is it so serious that we get in trouble.
---------
BULLSHIT.
Submitted by dr_weazel (user info) at 2006-07-16 17:18:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-07-14 00:28:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by dr_weazel (user info) at 2006-07-13 18:34:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
(and dont bleat to me about how little you get paid, go get an education and a better job, dumbfuck).
---
So what about people working during college to afford books and such, ass? Or hich school kids saving up money for college? You know, like, a good portion of the waiter and waitresses in this country?
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You say that as if it's my problem? Sorry, but I dont give a fuck. Get a better job. Don't bleat to me about your problems.
Tips should NEVER be compulsory, it's fucking ridiculous. IF I give a tip, it's ONLY for exceptional service, and it's whatever I feel I can spare.. not some carefully calculated percentage of the meal.
I'm sorry if you dont like that, but that's the way it is here in my country, and no waiters/waitresses complain about it.
Seriously, if you think some fucking sob story about being in college and not being able to afford books should automatically qualify you for instant tips, you can get fucked, I'm pretty sure all the other college students working for minimum wage, at places like McDonalds or some shitty warehouse or whatever, who DONT get tips would agree with me.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-07-16 12:38:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Everyone has had bad/incompetent service at one time or another. Writing down
the time line on the receipt makes you a prick, no better than the waitress.
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2006-07-16 12:20:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Here is a +2 for being drunk while I rate stuff.
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2006-07-16 12:18:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You know, I already commented but I have more to put in. I lived in Japan for awhile. They do not tip there. If you are one of those faggot Air Force or Marine pussies stationed in Okinawa I know you are thinking bullshit. Okinawa is just little America.
Regardless, The waitresses and waiters in Japan will take better care of you than any restaurant that I have even been to anywhere else. When you get down to it I have been pretty much everywhere.
en
They expect no tip. They understand thier job and they do it well.
When you get down to it, someone that loves thier job will always do it well and it will reflect regardless of the money that comes out in the end.
ie.
Soldiers: Don't get paid shit. Put more on the line to do what they enjoy han most. Don't be mad because thier idea of 'do the right thing' is different from yours.
Prostitutes: Truly, we all like to get fucked. If I were a prostitute I would be picky. Some people are not lucky enough to be that picky but in the end state you are still getting laid.
Musicians: I am one. But just like the majority of us, I feel that I am not good enough for the rest of the world compiled with how fucking hard it is to be successfull in that field. I would rather be lazy. I like entertaining friends better anyway.
Well the list goes on and on from here. Tips should be a reflection of exemplory service. If it is not recieved I will not give them. I love to tip big. Moneyswoman always thinks I am flirting with the big tips but it is because I respected the way I was treated.
As it should be.
Fuck the post office.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-07-16 12:07:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I bet you and your woman are fat asses.
Submitted by bleuluna (user info) at 2006-07-16 11:14:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I agree tips should be earned....not expected.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-07-14 09:16:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
pompous cunt
Submitted by nitty34 (user info) at 2006-07-14 08:40:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Hmmm...
Interesting story. In my opinion, the lack of a tip was deserved - BUT - what kind of pretentious asshole writes the timeline down on the credit card receipt? That seems a bit like not only knocking her hat off, but taking a big shit in it.
Now here's a blast from the past - old school Nitty.
My first ever most heated:
http://www.ubersite.com/m/13818
Submitted by MisterDevious (user info) at 2006-07-14 07:49:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Reservoir Dogs" makes a point. "Waiting" makes an even better point. :)
MrDVS
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-07-14 06:29:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for no tip
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2006-07-14 06:22:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I HATE bad service. There is no excuse. Give me bad service, I'll give you a bad tip, or none at all, if your unluvky I'll tell you why as well. I've waitressed before, it really isn't that hard. Yes you run around like a loon and you work long hours, but in terms of mentally tasking yourself, it's one of the most brainless jobs going.
Yesterday I went out to dinner with friends, the waitress forgot to pass our order through to the kitchen, which added on an extra HOUR AND A HALF to our waiting time. Can you imagine if a doctor did that?!?!?! Sorry sir *grins and shrugs sheepishly* I compleately forgot to put you on the transplant waiting list........yes it will add on another couple of months to your waiting time...........yes I'm aware you have three weeks to live................i'M SORRY I JUST FORGOT, IT'S REALLY BEEN REALLY BUSY HERE......etc
You get the picture. Infact I could rant for hours. I wont, because it will only bore you to tears.
This is the longest review I've ever written.
Bad waitresses/waiters should be hauled out into the street and publicly humiliated until the repent for their sins. If they do not.
Shoot them.
In the face.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-07-14 06:18:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very good.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-07-14 04:40:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You got someone to agree with you?
There will be no living with him after this
Submitted by eleanor_rigby (user info) at 2006-07-14 04:24:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2006-07-14 02:52:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I hope you choke to death.
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2006-07-14 00:54:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
He gave the standard manager speech and then looked back at the receipt, shook his head, and said, "30 minutes to get a fuckin' beer?"
I replied, "That's what I said!!"
HAHAHA +2 for you!
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-07-14 00:47:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-07-14 00:28:46 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by dr_weazel (user info) at 2006-07-13 18:34:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
(and dont bleat to me about how little you get paid, go get an education and a better job, dumbfuck).
---
So what about people working during college to afford books and such, ass? Or hich school kids saving up money for college? You know, like, a good portion of the waiter and waitresses in this country
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Exactly. I tip 20% every time unless the service is outstandingly bad. All I ask is for my drink to be full at all time.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-07-14 00:28:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by dr_weazel (user info) at 2006-07-13 18:34:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
(and dont bleat to me about how little you get paid, go get an education and a better job, dumbfuck).
---
So what about people working during college to afford books and such, ass? Or hich school kids saving up money for college? You know, like, a good portion of the waiter and waitresses in this country?
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2006-07-14 00:11:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
if they earn the tip I usually go 20% if they dont then i don't tip at all.
The drink must stay full, though I will overlook a small wait on it if he/she is busy (no more than a couple of minutes)
If the food stinks but the service is still godd I will tip, but I will also complain about the food. (after all the wait staff doesn't cook it.)
Submitted by matnotharry (user info) at 2006-07-13 20:55:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by dr_weazel (user info) at 2006-07-13 18:34:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
You americans and your compulsary tipping... that shit is fucking ridiculous. I will only tip if the service is EXCEPTIONAL, anything less and they're just doing their job... which they get paid for.. (and dont bleat to me about how little you get paid, go get an education and a better job, dumbfuck).
+2 for not tipping.
-------
Mr Pink?
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-07-13 20:25:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHA, Dick!
Submitted by Siren (user info) at 2006-07-13 19:56:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I always think of that opening scene in Res. Dogs, too, when discussing tips. I guess I'm partial because I work in the hospitality industry. Hotel is basically the same. Only we get no tips. People think we just type and give rooms keys. They have no idea how busy we are most of the time. At least big city hotels. It's ridiculous how people treat us. I have a few things to say for all of blue collar society:
We are not stupid. Some of us even have college educations.
We probably work harder than you at our crummy little jobs than you do in your cushy chaired office.
We do not just push buttons.
We definitely know when you think you're pulling one over on us to get a free room or whatever.
Complaining about us to our bosses does no good. We just laugh at you when you leave. Rarely is it so serious that we get in trouble.
BUT
There is no excuse for absolute neglect of the job you are supposed to be doing.
Submitted by dr_weazel (user info) at 2006-07-13 18:34:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You americans and your compulsary tipping... that shit is fucking ridiculous. I will only tip if the service is EXCEPTIONAL, anything less and they're just doing their job... which they get paid for.. (and dont bleat to me about how little you get paid, go get an education and a better job, dumbfuck).
+2 for not tipping.
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2006-07-13 18:27:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
These waiter types are really getting rather presumptious!
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-07-13 17:42:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
But for fuck's sake, when I walk through the door, if I'm pissed off in the first 15 minutes, I'm going to be critical of everything.
Submitted by LadyJay (user info) at 2006-07-13 17:16:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I completely agree. A tip is a bonus. Why should give my money away for crap service, when the waitress is nearly earning more than me! I worked as a waitress in California, in an Irish bar, and, being Irish, I got a lot of tips for the accent... I was earning over $700 a week in tips for 25hrs work, 5hrs 5days. I was only getting paid $125 every 2 weeks for my actual wages, but it was my CHOICE to work there knowing the wages and hrs (and not knowing about tips at the time), I was planning on a second job.
One day I got to wondering about this whole tip thing... I made a plan, when the manager isnt around, to give one table the worst service I can, I spill water onto the guys lap, I order their appetizers and main meal to come out all at the same time, I get their drinks order mixed up.. you get the idea... and the couple still gives me a 10% tip!!! I went up to them and gave it back, telling them I didnt deserve it and gave them a free dessert and a round of drinks.
I dont understand it.. tips should be earned not, expected.
Submitted by Aztune (user info) at 2006-07-13 16:27:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Maybe, but she still has her job.
She has a history of fucking up and I know for a fact she wasn't fired.
Is two hours of work ($10 at $5/hr) worth losing your job?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-07-13 16:24:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This is a pretty good story.
On the other hand, if I was your waitress, or KNEW your waitress, I would have advised her to dump a bucket of ice on your head for the "no tip" move.
Submitted by Aztune (user info) at 2006-07-13 16:15:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And that's my thing.
I *always* over tip.
I don't even look at the tax. I look at the total, slide the decimal over, then double it.
I'm a generous tipper BECAUSE I understand that it sucks to run around, carrying cold beer bottles one second and then sizzling fucking fajita plates the next.
But this time just really pissed me off. I had no sympathy.
My wife said, "Don't forget 'Waiting'..." and I said, "Fuck 'Waiting.' This chick doesn't pay enough attention to realize I merit some spit on my wings or cum in my blue cheese."
What really gets me is the concept I call The Trend.
If a younger, nicely-dressed couple comes in and they order 5 beers right off the bat, my ass is their bitch ALL NIGHT. That means they're gonna be drinking. Hell, half the time I hovered near the host station so that I could seat my own tables.
Nothing bothers me more than being seated by the hostes...
... order taken by your waitress
... drinks brought by a drink-hand
... food brought by a server
... plates bussed by a bus-boy
... and all the while my "waitress" is nothing more than a manager for the other people. In those places, I PRAY for tip-sharing, because there's no way I want that bitch getting tipped for telling other people to bring me my shit.
Submitted by STIXS (user info) at 2006-07-13 16:10:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I usually double the tax and bring it up to the next closest 5 dollars. That usually makes it about 20%, but I only eat out at a sushi place, and at Outback, so it's not like the service is ever horrible.
Submitted by WookieSuave (user info) at 2006-07-13 15:53:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I walk into an establishment expecting to give a 15% tip. If the service is noticeably above average, the tip goes up. If the service is noticeably below average the tip goes down.
Fucking simple
Submitted by GDR (user info) at 2006-07-13 15:53:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Nockane (user info) at 2006-07-13 15:52:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
now i feel like an ass for fucking up the +2, sorry
Submitted by Nockane (user info) at 2006-07-13 15:50:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I used to be a server, good to hear you're not a gypsy. But a free $50 always kicks ass.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-07-13 15:49:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
what MSFY said
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-07-13 15:47:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
agreed.
Here's a +2 to offset the other douchebags who will invariably camp on this post, whining that 15% is not a sufficient tip.
If service sucks, I will give something weird like a 6% tip, so they know I had to figure it out.
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2006-07-13 15:46:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"NICE GUY EDDIE: Okay, everybody cough up green for the little lady.
NICE GUY EDDIE: C'mon, throw in a buck.
MR. PINK: Uh-uh. I don't tip.
NICE GUY EDDIE: Whaddaya mean you don't tip?
MR. PINK: I don't believe in it.
NICE GUY EDDIE: You don't believe in tipping?
MR. WHITE: I love this kid, he's a madman, this guy.
MR. BLONDE: Do you have any idea what these ladies make? They make shit.
MR. PINK: Don't give me that. She don't make enough money, she can quit.
NICE GUY EDDIE: I don't even know a Jew who'd have the balls to say that. So let's get this straight. You never ever tip?
MR. PINK: I don't tip because society says I gotta. I tip when somebody deserves a tip. When somebody really puts forth an effort, they deserve a little something extra. But this tipping automatically, that shit's for the birds. As far as I'm concerned, they're just doin their job.
MR. BLUE: Our girl was nice.
MR. PINK: Our girl was okay. She didn't do anything special.
MR. BLONDE: What's something special, take ya in the kitchen and suck your dick?
NICE GUY EDDIE: I'd go over twelve percent for that.
MR. PINK: Look, I ordered coffee. Now we've been here a long fuckin time, and she's only filled my cup three times. When I order coffee, I want it filled six times.
MR. BLONDE: What if she's too busy?
MR. PINK: The words "too busy" shouldn't be in a waitress's vocabulary.
NICE GUY EDDIE: Excuse me, Mr. White, but the last thing you need is another cup of coffee.
MR. PINK: These ladies aren't starvin to death. They make minimum wage. When I worked for minimum wage, I wasn't lucky enough to have a job that society deemed tipworthy.
NICE GUY EDDIE: Ahh, now we're getting down to it. It's not just that he's a cheap bastard--
MR. ORANGE: --It is that too--
NICE GUY EDDIE: --It is that too. But it's also he couldn't get a waiter job. You talk like a pissed off dishwasher: "Fuck those cunts and their fucking tips."
MR. BLONDE: So you don't care that they're counting on your tip to live?
MR. PINK: Do you know what this is? It's the world's smallest violin, playing just for the waitresses.
MR. BLONDE: You don't have any idea what you're talking about. These people bust their ass. This is a hard job.
MR. PINK: So's working at McDonald's, but you don't feel the need to tip them. They're servin ya food, you should tip em. But no, society says tip these guys over here, but not those guys over there. That's bullshit.
MR. ORANGE: They work harder than the kids at McDonald's.
MR. PINK: Oh yeah, I don't see them cleaning fryers.
MR. BROWN: These people are taxed on the tips they make. When you stiff 'em, you cost them money.
MR. BLONDE: Waitressing is the number one occupation for female non-college graduates in this country. It's the one jab basically any woman can get, and make a living on. The reason is because of tips.
MR. PINK: Fuck all that. Hey, I'm very sorry that the government taxes their tips. That's fucked up. But that ain't my fault. it would appear that waitresses are just one of the many groups the government fucks in the ass on a regular basis. You show me a paper says the government shouldn't do that, I'll sign it. Put it to a vote, I'll vote for it. But what I won't do is play ball. And this non- college bullshit you're telling me, I got two words for that: "Learn to fuckin type." Cause if you're expecting me to help out with the rent, you're in for a big fuckin surprise.
MR. ORANGE: He's convinced me. Give me my dollar back."