Petty Ex-Girlfriend Rant (Getting It Off My Chest) (1311 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: 0.45 on 36 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by RenTheUnsightly (View user info) at 2006-07-14 06:02:42 EDT
My ex-girlfriend's just a ho
And the worst of it is, well, just that: my ex-girlfriend's just a ho
Maybe she would be happier with some phD grad student,
or some sexless geek who keeps his distance, treats her like she's invisible half the time
(He'd rather read about topology and jerk off to anime)
"I care about you more than I care about him" she said, as if
it was the testimony of God Himself, justifying our love. "No fucking shit you care about me more! NO FUCKING SHIT! What did he ever do, except ignore you, and break your heart? What have I not done for you, short of murder, or that threesome you wanted?"
Maybe she'd rather go back to that evil european dude--
She caught him fucking around with other skanks--
Oh, the nerve, you smelly euro-trash,
you get to stretch her pussy out, and cheat on her, and then, when she comes to me, like a lost puppy, full of play and sadness,
I have to fall in love with her?
Why?
Because she lets anyone fuck her, that's why
Because she opens her legs to feel better
Sometimes she buys herself watermelon,
but sometimes, she goes and gets fucked
So, it doesn't much matter--a whole year of insanity--doesn't much matter all I did for her. See, she's just a ho.
A ho doesn't neccessarily cheat on you. She doesn't make you buy her things. She can make you feel like a great man. She can keep you going when you have nothing to live for.
But so can the bottle.
And drinking gets old, quick. Then you're left in a grey, grey world. A true woman can be a life-long source of friendship. But a ho leaves you with withdrawl symptoms. Doesn't matter that I would, felt I should, have, and did show up whenever she called
It never mattered how I bloodied my hand, out of frustration, when the hospital people said, "you have to visit tomrorrow"
I had just gotten back in town! I had better things to do, but I was on a mission. Wasn't that worth anything? Would she have loved me more if I just went to work and said "fuck it"?
Of course, I didn't mind. Not in my intoxication.
And now, with the drugs wearing off, and reality crashing around me like an unexpected summer storm,
She, just like a ho, can only say
"I don't want to talk anymore"
But I'm through tripping over her phantom words
I'm through, no more
Because she's just a ho, and she isn't worth it, and (what else can I say, really)
she's just a ho
User Reviews
Submitted by Dolson (user info) at 2006-07-15 12:59:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
[cries emo tears]
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-07-14 22:06:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you're witty.
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2006-07-14 21:59:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You must suck cock for a living.
Submitted by rockdocc (user info) at 2006-07-14 21:29:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
heh, I gave her teh aids.
just letting you know
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2006-07-14 21:17:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You know what she is worth? A big fat nigger cock, right in the ass. Another one stuffed in her mouth, while a midget pisses on her chest and a clown watches her with that creepy ass clown smile. I would pay good money to watch that, especially if I got to be the clown.
Submitted by RenTheUnsightly (user info) at 2006-07-14 20:50:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
sure, it's 1-800-gud-love, ext #69
Submitted by Mrdurden24 (user info) at 2006-07-14 17:17:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Can i get her #?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-07-14 16:46:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Sometimes she buys herself watermelon,
but sometimes, she goes and gets fucked
-----
by Negroes, no doubt
Submitted by Life101 (user info) at 2006-07-14 14:38:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Girls play the worst kind of games. Mental games
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-07-14 13:33:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I hadn't originally intended to rate this positivly.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-07-14 13:11:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by karates_badboy (user info) at 2006-07-14 12:56:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
shell be back, infact one day youll come home, and there will be a message on your machine, and itll be just when you have given up completely on her and youre starting not to care, the message will say "I miss you" or something along those lines. I warn you now to immediately delete that message and pretend you never got it, because if you dont youll end up where I am now, and where I am now mentally is where no human being ever wants to be. Women lie, play games, and while theyre sleeping soundly at night, youre wondering how theyre sleeping so soundly knowing that they are going straight to hell for what theyre doing. cheer up, guy.
_____________________________________
This guy knows what he's talking about.
Submitted by Cracked_out_cali (user info) at 2006-07-14 13:10:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You doin ho activities
With ho tendencies
Hos are your friends, hoes are your enemies
With ho energy to do whacha do
Blew whacha blew
Screw whacha screw
Yall professional like DJ Clue, pullin on my coat tail
an why do you think you take a ho to a hotel?
Hotel everybody, even the mayor
Reach up in tha sky for tha hozone laya
Come on playa once a ho always
And hos never close they open like hallways
An heres a ho cake for you whole ho crew
an everybody wants some cuz hoes gotta eat too
Cant turn a ho into a housewife
Hos dont act right
Theres hos on a mission, an hoes on a crackpipe
Hey ho how ya doin, where ya been?
Prolly doin ho stuff cuz there you ho again
Its a ho wide world, that we livin in
feline, feminine, fantastical, women
Not all, just some
You ho who you are
Theres hoes in tha room, theres hoes in tha car
theres hoes on stage, theres hoes by tha bar
hos by near, an hos by far
Ho! (But can i getta ride?!)
NO! (Cmon, nigga why?!)
Cuz youza Ho
You gotta run in your pantyhos
Even your daddy knows
that you suckin down chocolate like daddy-o's
You hos are horrible, horrendous
On taxes ya'll writin off hos as dependents
I see tha ho risin
it aint surprisin
its just a hoasis
with ugly chicks faces
but hos dont feel so sad and blue
cuz most of us niggaz is hos too
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-07-14 13:05:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
why the hell blame women and call the liars? cuz men are just so freaking honest. why not just admit that humanity is pretty much out to screw eachother and the ones that are worth anything are few and far between.
don't be a pussy about it. grow some balls. girls like balls.
Submitted by karates_badboy (user info) at 2006-07-14 12:56:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
shell be back, infact one day youll come home, and there will be a message on your machine, and itll be just when you have given up completely on her and youre starting not to care, the message will say "I miss you" or something along those lines. I warn you now to immediately delete that message and pretend you never got it, because if you dont youll end up where I am now, and where I am now mentally is where no human being ever wants to be. Women lie, play games, and while theyre sleeping soundly at night, youre wondering how theyre sleeping so soundly knowing that they are going straight to hell for what theyre doing. cheer up, guy.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-07-14 12:26:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Kaelic (user info) at 2006-07-14 12:22:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If there's one thing long years of loneliness and pain have taught me, it's fuck it, dude. Just fuck it. Go focus on other things. Plus, when you get horny, which will be a lot, you can microwave a bagel and have sex with it.
But seriously, it feels good to break away from co-dependency. I haven't needed anyone in a long time, and it's great. Although you will find yourself humming "the most loneliest day" song by System of a Down a lot.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-07-14 12:17:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Is there something wrong with jerking off to anime?
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-07-14 12:16:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i wish i was your ex girlfriend cuz really all these chicks you guys bitch about seem to have a totally different sent of problems than i do and they seem way nicer than mine.
i want to be petty. someone teach me.
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2006-07-14 12:05:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There's no reason for this rating.
I only read the first line of this while the rating page was loading.
NO
REASON
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-07-14 10:28:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Hey, easy pal, when she said "let's make love" you should have been given a giant warning sign right there. The proper thing to do would be to shove her panties in her twat then in her ass then stuff them in her fucking mouth, duct tape gag for extra splendor, then slapped the silly bitch around while you raped her virgin ass. You pull your dick out and rub across her forehead then slap her in the face with it and call it a lombardy slap. The object is to slap her so hard in the face that you leave a rectangular bruise, oh and don't forget to fist her, elbow deep, every time she blinks because that means she likes it. Spray aerosol anything up her ass and make sure you jiz so hard up one nostril that it blows out the other. Are you finished yet? NO! Go get a clear glass saucer and put it over her face and start shitting but when you are about halfway finished pull the dignity saver away and shit on her face. Then whisper sweet innocent nothings into her ear and tell her you love her and that making love has never been so much fun.
Submitted by erosion_rules (user info) at 2006-07-14 10:23:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sometimes she buys herself watermelon,
but sometimes, she goes and gets fucked
===================
+2 just for this line.
Submitted by RenTheUnsightly (user info) at 2006-07-14 10:14:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
----------quote---------- Maybe if you fucked her more and made love less[...]----------------
Funny, she used to say the opposite, "How come we don't make love anymore?" I think Eddie Murhpy said it best, "I like to fuck somebody I'm in love with, but I aint making love to nobody[...]" If it's done right, you should be left feeling sore in a few places.
When a girl says "How come we don't make love anymore?" she means "I'm bored of being your girflfriend, feeling like your personal sex slave (no matter how good it is), and I want the thrill of the chase, again"; i.e. from anyone but your dumb-ass.
Submitted by precision (user info) at 2006-07-14 10:10:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
so what you are saying is, you got dumped
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2006-07-14 09:39:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-07-14 09:08:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This girl is a ho
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v J/K you know I love ya.
Submitted by LovelyLady (user info) at 2006-07-14 08:59:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I just wanted to say I'm sorry. It sucks that hoes like that give women bad reputations!
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-07-14 08:36:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by awj002 (user info) at 2006-07-14 08:33:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
i dated my ex for 1.5 years and she started living with some new asshole guy 2 weeks after we broke up. women are weak and stupid
~~~~
with not even a TRACE of irony..
Submitted by awj002 (user info) at 2006-07-14 08:33:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
man dont let these uber fucks tell you off, I feel you. i dated my ex for 1.5 years and she started living with some new asshole guy 2 weeks after we broke up. women are weak and stupid
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-07-14 08:24:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I have to fall in love with her?
Why?
Because she lets anyone fuck her, that's why
~~~~
says it all..
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-07-14 08:20:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Rape her man, it's the only way to make her love you again.
Submitted by fun_with_needles (user info) at 2006-07-14 08:18:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
She's laughing at you right now.
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-07-14 08:05:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Boo-fucking-hoo.
Go to your myspace account for this emo shit.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-07-14 07:52:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Can you give me her phone number? I like girls who spread their legs to feel better. It feels good for me to, you pussy. Maybe if you fucked her more and made love less, I'm talking smashing-her-face-into-the- head-board-on-purpose type of fucking, and pulling-her-hair-until-her-head-touches-her- ass-and-then-smashing-her-face-into-your-crotch-then-sticking-it-in-her-number-two-hole-right-to-mouth type fucking you wouldn't have these problems you fucking sap. So, anyway, Pal, can I get her number?
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2006-07-14 07:11:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Nothing to think here, move along.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-07-14 07:00:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Shouting about what a ho she is on the internet is weak and stupid. Grow some balls you wimp.
Submitted by LittleMonster (user info) at 2006-07-14 06:45:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If your going to rant, you have to be angry. This is not angry, this is hurt. i want to say something like Skate it off, but I've been there. It sucks ass. Best way to get over girl/guy, get under another.