Non-Shallow Uber Menz AND Uberwimenz Contest That Favours Humour, Intelligence and The Little Things That Matter. (4527 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.65 on 266 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Merlina (View user info) at 2006-07-14 06:45:14 EDT
Sod looks.
I know I must sound like I'm an ugly munter for saying that 'looks don't matter' but in fact I probably look rather averagly normal. Thankfully.
The reason I say thankfully, is because if I looked picture perfect it would take up far too much of my time looking in the bloody mirror and preening.
No.
I prefer attending rather more to strange shaped, grey mass that sits somewhere comfortably behind my eyes. I prefer to play with it, talk to it, push it, prod it and exercise it. Einstein didn't win a beauty contest and nor would Billy Connolly, unless it was a beauty contest for the blind, but they were geniuses and didn't give a toss about being perfect.
And they were quite right.
In FACT, I personally prefer the looks of someone who has a flaw.
You can see a perfect face and thing yes...well... their eyes and nose are all symmetrical and everything but I need to see that they're human. Perfection is quite frankly rather boring. A prominent chin is beautiful if placed below twinkling eyes. A big nose can look almost... grandeur.
I think ugliness is more apparent in a personality trait. Even recently, I have seen some attractive people on Uber and decided they weren't as nice as I once thought because their brain and their mouth let them down, considerably.
The media feel very comfortable in telling people that they should look perfect, be thin - but not too thin, wear this...that.... stand like this, don't move or you'll get a hair out of place.
Well I say to HELL with that. And anorexia is not attractive.
I rarely wear high-heeled shoes. I adore them. Absolutely love them so much I'd marry them BUT I hardly ever wear them and the reason for this may sound crazy, but it's true.... "If I go out in those shoes and I have to climb a wall, I won't be able to". Okay, so it might not be a wall but it could be having to walk 6 miles because public transport is down or having to walk over cobbles and be one of those embarrassing women who whine "I caaaan't, my feet hurt".
I rarely wear make up. Partly because I am usually covered in sawdust from working on the house at the weekend.... But during the week mornings it's more likely because if I have to be at work at 8am and I get up at say... 6am.... I have time generally to either carefully apply make up... or have very good sex. You see? Nice make up girls, but you're not smiling.
I haven't used an iron since 1987. If life is too short to stuff a mushroom - it's certainly too damn short to knock creases out of something that will fall out anyway. Yeah so it means buying clothes that don't crease.... Or looking scruffy for the first hour or so of the day but... meh..
Manicure, massage, waxing, under eye gel, moisturiser...... and that's only the men. My nails are short (manageable) and clean. Nail varnish and long nails (even worse are the square ended porno fake French polish ones) mean constant maintenance. How can you live normally?
What I love is doing to a DIY store with the Bloke at the weekend - both of us as scruffy as chimney sweeps in paint covered jeans and grimy grins. Yeah so I'd hardly grace the cover of Cosmo but the attention I get from the men!! And it's purely because I look happy. And normal. And low maintenance. And useful. And fun.
Is it because looks = money = power = happiness? Because that's Hollywood? Pah! I'd rather win an award for being smart.. or being funny... or being supportive... or for doing the best slide down a snowy hill perched on a dustbin lid.
or ANYTHING rather than the fact that I get my teeth and anus bleached.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So..... I want to hear who you think deserves to win these Grand Awards.
Best reviewer (at smart comebacks):
Best reviewer (most interesting comments):
Overall Funniest poster:
Most ambitious Uberer:
Most Highly Strung Uberer:
Best Storyteller:
Happiest Uberer:
Uberer Most Likely To Disappear Up His/her Own Butt:
Most addicted to Uber 1:
Most addicted to Uber 2:
Most argumentative:
Uberer Most Likely To Next Decide to 'Leave':
Uberer You Wish Lived Near You:
And finally...
Most Intelligent Uberer:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
User Reviews
Submitted by EmissionImpossible (user info) at 2007-03-30 14:32:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
can we have a promising newcomer award! heh
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2007-03-30 14:19:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i had not seen this. i win!
Submitted by DoubleDong (user info) at 2006-07-27 07:33:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-07-15 01:31:10 (#)
Ranking: 0
Best reviewer (at smart comebacks): When Shlongy is on his game... but most consistently it's probably Caul or Berty. Or scourge. Shitfuck too.
Best reviewer (most interesting comments): NetProphet always had something interesting to say but he got tired of this place i guess. Lately, Yams? indoninja?
Overall Funniest poster: GLALL in his heyday. Now, and I know this is not the popular pick, but LSD420 cracks me the fuck up. Cyst Master also. steven st. awesome.
Most ambitious Uberer: definitely kaos king.
Most Highly Strung Uberer: loren, back in the day. im sure ets got some votes here. loki gets pissy whenever anybody disagrees with her. if dr_weazel is a real person i think he gets my vote. otherwise its loki.
Best Storyteller: bickerstaff, man. Jack Mccallum. j0andre.
Happiest Uberer: if you are a regular on ubersite, you are perpetually unhappy. circe i guess.
Uberer Most Likely To Disappear Up His/her Own Butt: ah, this one fits ubersite a little better. DCWoody. sicosemen.
Most addicted to Uber 1: darko
Most addicted to Uber 2: shlongy. he will never admit it, but it's true.
Most argumentative: obviously caulaincourt or professorfuckface. as the devil's advocate, indoninja.
Uberer Most Likely To Next Decide to 'Leave': i've got a feeling bart doesnt want to have much to do with this place anymore. he'd never leave, but if the circumstances were different, i think he would. iddqd? i really dont have faith in anybody to just up and leave for good.
Uberer You Wish Lived Near You: err, is "none of you freaks" an acceptable answer? i dont know, i think there are a few guys on this site i'd get along with really well, but i think it would be a stretch to say that i wished anybody lived near me. im not sure i really want to meet any uber women.
And finally...
Most Intelligent Uberer: circe, snark, caes. three-way tie.
I dont agree at all with your views on beauty.
---
I've never been more honoured (clearly you know who I am)
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-07-25 00:14:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The answer to all of these is me. But if I had to choose SECOND place....
Best reviewer (at smart comebacks): Davros (I'm reaching here.)
Best reviewer (most interesting comments): bart. You know how he says things like "-2 No" and "-2 no comment" HA! Man he sure makes me laugh.
Overall Funniest poster: Mike0295
Most ambitious Uberer: forthewin
Most Highly Strung Uberer: ETS
Best Storyteller: nath tied with ahumblefool
Happiest Uberer: Tigerlilly at a pirate convention
Uberer Most Likely To Disappear Up His/her Own Butt: Caulaincourt
Most addicted to Uber 1: scourge (HA! Bet you didn't expect me to put you there!)
Most addicted to Uber 2: Sphaghum
Most argumentative: jgreening
Uberer Most Likely To Next Decide to 'Leave': There are lots of them I want to leave. Here's hoping for Shlongy
Uberer You Wish Lived Near You: TTOM
Most Intelligent Uberer: I'm going to shatter barriers with this, but JonnyX has proven to be very intelligent.
Submitted by chipolatte (user info) at 2006-07-19 21:05:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
it's too late, i've won them all
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-07-19 09:40:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-17 12:02:33 (#)
Ranking: 2
Sigh. I note both scourge and phuzzy in my results, and they're too busy to notice.
----------------
I was just so overwhelmed with you pickin gme for the team that I couldn't answer...
Plus, I'm still waiting to hear more inner dialogue.
Submitted by peckerhead (user info) at 2006-07-17 17:54:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-17 12:44:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I guess I'll answer these for real now.
Best reviewer (at smart comebacks): Papadopolous
Best reviewer (most interesting comments): JonnyX
Overall Funniest poster: Cyst_Master
Most ambitious Uberer: Axolotl
Most Highly Strung Uberer: ETS
Best Storyteller: Snark (thanks for making him leave, dipshits), McCallum, Bickerstaff
Happiest Uberer: Still Merlina
Uberer Most Likely To Disappear Up His/her Own Butt: My dear sweet Sphagnum has already done so
:(
Most addicted to Uber 1: Shlongy
Most addicted to Uber 2: loki
Most argumentative: Caulaincourt
Uberer Most Likely To Next Decide to 'Leave': Likely somone who can write well and gets on the bad side of the dipshit brigade.
Uberer You Wish Lived Near You: Noboby, thanks. Well...maybe Sacrilicious. But nobody else.
And finally...
Most Intelligent Uberer: Me. Still.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-17 12:02:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sigh. I note both scourge and phuzzy in my results, and they're too busy to notice.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-17 11:52:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I don't believe you are a dork mr. gish.
But I have never met you and therefore find it difficult to accurately assess the level of your dorkiness.
You said I was the most argumentative user. I argued with that statement by saying, as a response to you, that I wasn't the most argumentative user. It was a poor attempt at humor on my part and I will refrain from trying something of that nature in the future, as I now feel foolish about the whole thing. Yes I do.
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-07-17 11:43:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-17 09:59:59 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-07-17 05:42:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-14 11:21:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
...
Most argumentative: Not me. Fuck you, phuzzy. (see what I did there Mr. Jumanji Man?)
-------------
I don't have a clue what you're on about...
===
*sigh*
It's just no use trying around here anymore. No use at all.
----
I must be having a retarded day, becasue I don't get it.
Am I a dork?
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-07-17 11:32:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-07-17 07:00:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
Jesus loves you, Jeffery
Jesus would want your name spelled like that too, Jeffery
Have you accepted Jesus as your personal lord and savior, Jeffery?
Jesus has lots of chokomut icecreams, Jeffery, just get in the back of his van
---------------
All our base are belong to Method.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-17 09:59:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-07-17 05:42:11 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-14 11:21:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
...
Most argumentative: Not me. Fuck you, phuzzy. (see what I did there Mr. Jumanji Man?)
-------------
I don't have a clue what you're on about...
===
*sigh*
It's just no use trying around here anymore. No use at all.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-07-17 08:53:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-07-14 23:41:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-07-14 09:08:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
Most Intelligent Uberer: goferforhire
------------------------
Really? Me?
Cool. I agree with the majority of what you said, so I won't post my own opinions otherwise. But me?
I'm intelligent? I'd have thought TTOM would be smarter than me.
============================
Trust me...you've got us ALL beat on the age::intelligence ratio. For a young whippersnapper, you're a smart cookie. And your writing is proof.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-07-17 08:52:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-07-14 22:24:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
Most Intelligent Uberer: Perhaps Cpt. Thorns. Hard to really say, we all act like idiots.
---------------
I'll buy that for a dollar. :)
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-07-17 06:52:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2006-07-17 06:22:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
Berty. Putting a smile on our faces since 13/12/2004.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I concur..
The fairies bless you
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-07-17 06:45:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
He may be the best thing on Uber. He's certainly voted such.
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2006-07-17 06:22:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Berty. Putting a smile on our faces since 13/12/2004.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-07-17 06:19:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Was it good for you?
*Lights ciggarette*
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-07-17 06:18:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2006-07-17 06:17:11 (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, I get much closer than that to you, Berty. Usually when you're asleep.
Well, you shouldn't leave your back door(s) open, should you ;)
----------
Well that explains the blisters on my foreskin. I thought I'd just tried to make love to the duvet in my sleep.
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2006-07-17 06:17:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Oh, I get much closer than that to you, Berty. Usually when you're asleep.
Well, you shouldn't leave your back door(s) open, should you ;)
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-07-17 06:11:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2006-07-17 06:08:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
He'd never beat me with it, not when he knows that I'm a champion majorette. You should see the way I twiddle, diddle, throw and catch that baton.
-----------
It'd help if I could convince you to come within 3ft of me.
She's wily though, like a fox with only her cunning to protect her.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-07-17 06:10:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This will remain a mystery to me for the rest of my life then, I guess.
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2006-07-17 06:08:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
He'd never beat me with it, not when he knows that I'm a champion majorette. You should see the way I twiddle, diddle, throw and catch that baton.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-07-17 06:07:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Unfortunatly their jibes make me flaccid so in the end it's like being hit with a windsock filled with mayonaisse.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-07-17 06:03:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-07-17 06:00:21 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2006-07-17 05:56:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes Thorpe, Bertram is wheelchair bound, but that's because of his useless 3ft third leg.
---------
It's not useless; I can use it to pole vault over very small fences.
~~~~
and he uses it as a club sometimes to head people around the head that make fun of him
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-07-17 06:00:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2006-07-17 05:56:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes Thorpe, Bertram is wheelchair bound, but that's because of his useless 3ft third leg.
---------
It's not useless; I can use it to pole vault over very small fences.
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2006-07-17 05:56:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes Thorpe, Bertram is wheelchair bound, but that's because of his useless 3ft third leg.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-07-17 05:48:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-07-17 04:59:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-15 14:48:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-07-14 08:18:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
Uberer You Wish Lived Near You: Sacrilicious. She's a vulnerable member of society so I could do sex with her.
============
HOW did I miss this?
I'm not vulnerable, darling. I just have a soulless cripple fetish and I fantasize about you nightly. I know, I know, you aren't really in a wheelchair. But I stand by the soulless part.
---------
Everybody in the world is vulnerable. Apart from Chuck Norris obviously.
-----------
IS BERTY OR IS BERTY NOT IN A WHEELCHAIR????
Submitted by phuzzygish (user info) at 2006-07-17 05:42:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-14 11:21:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
...
Most argumentative: Not me. Fuck you, phuzzy. (see what I did there Mr. Jumanji Man?)
-------------
I don't have a clue what you're on about...
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-07-17 04:59:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-15 14:48:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-07-14 08:18:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
Uberer You Wish Lived Near You: Sacrilicious. She's a vulnerable member of society so I could do sex with her.
============
HOW did I miss this?
I'm not vulnerable, darling. I just have a soulless cripple fetish and I fantasize about you nightly. I know, I know, you aren't really in a wheelchair. But I stand by the soulless part.
---------
Everybody in the world is vulnerable. Apart from Chuck Norris obviously.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-07-17 03:51:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-07-14 12:04:03 (#)
Ranking: 0
hand gliding?
well that's a new term for wanking i've never heard before.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-07-14 11:57:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
*looks at post*
*nods thoughtfully*
*wanders off*
*starts handgliding*
===========================
HAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-07-17 03:00:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think I might add up all the scores here and find out who won what overall....
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2006-07-17 02:44:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like it when the red water comes out.
Submitted by bleuluna (user info) at 2006-07-16 10:58:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
if I have to be at work at 8am and I get up at say... 6am.... I have time generally to either carefully apply make up... or have very good sex. You see? Nice make up girls, but you're not smiling.
I totally agree.
*smiling*
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-15 21:15:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-07-15 01:31:10 (#)
Ranking: 0
Best reviewer (at smart comebacks): When Shlongy is on his game... but most consistently it's probably Caul or Berty. Or scourge. Shitfuck too.
===
Obviously a user with very good taste right here.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-07-15 18:06:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-07-15 12:55:00 (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't know enough about you people to accurately fill out this poll, so I'll just name the Uberers I have an actual memory of and the awards I'd give them.
TTOM: Most likely to reference AHTT
--------------
I do love me some awkward hand turkeys
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-15 14:48:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-07-14 08:18:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
Uberer You Wish Lived Near You: Sacrilicious. She's a vulnerable member of society so I could do sex with her.
============
HOW did I miss this?
I'm not vulnerable, darling. I just have a soulless cripple fetish and I fantasize about you nightly. I know, I know, you aren't really in a wheelchair. But I stand by the soulless part.
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-07-15 14:27:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
darko's mouth is definitely the one I'm most likely to fuck.
But there are lots of ubermouths I'd fuck, honestly.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-15 14:13:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Spooner doesn't <3 me, but at least he'd fuck my mouth
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-15 13:56:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I <3 Spooner
Submitted by Spooner (user info) at 2006-07-15 12:55:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I don't know enough about you people to accurately fill out this poll, so I'll just name the Uberers I have an actual memory of and the awards I'd give them.
rad1101: Most Neat Pseudo-Homo
Jack_McCallum: Overall cool guy most likely to say something fucking insane
caulaincourt: Most flamed flamer
Method: Biggest waste of talent
Shlongy: Most overrated uberer
Buckeyes: Most likely to take something way too goddamned seriously
Sacrilicious: Most likely to give me a +2
TTOM: Most likely to reference AHTT
forthewin: Most likely to wait two months between posting awesome posts
bart: Most likely to wait 6 months between posting boring posts
Spooner: Most likely to reference obscure figure you've never heard of
Electro: Most likely to not realize you're making fun of him
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2006-07-15 12:05:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Who's Majorano?
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2006-07-15 10:45:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Serious_Melvin (user info) at 2006-07-15 02:26:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
I vote for Wazza on all counts.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-07-15 10:33:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I downloaded a bunch of Faith No More songs last night and I'm very happy right now...
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-07-15 08:31:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2006-07-15 00:54:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-07-14 21:10:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2006-07-14 20:55:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
187 reviews, and I'm not mentioned once.
I nominate myself for Most Narcissistic User, by the way.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WAS THAT A JOKE? that better have been a joke...read them again if not.
--------------------------------
No, it wasn't a joke. Your review made me read through all those reviews a second time, and I could not find one reference.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh for christ sake...its ironic really,
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-07-14 06:55:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
Lots of people think no-ones heard of them. Like that Majorano Guy, he's on the MVA, but he keeps mentioning that no0onw knows who he is.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2006-07-14 06:54:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
Wow thank you DC Woody, I didn't think anyone knew I existed.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-07-15 08:05:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
OBVIOUSLY NOT, STUPID, DID YOU FIGURE THAT ALL OUT BY YOURSELF?
Submitted by gonefiguring (user info) at 2006-07-15 08:04:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This post is second on the Most Heated List, after the Uber Beauty contest. Uberers never tire of jerking each other off, do they?
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-07-15 08:00:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Best reviewer (at smart comebacks):
Method
Best reviewer (most interesting comments):
Berty
Overall Funniest poster:
Habeeb
Most ambitious Uberer:
Spooner
Most Highly Strung Uberer:
ETS
Best Storyteller:
Circe
Happiest Uberer:
Merlina
Uberer Most Likely To Disappear Up His/her Own Butt:
Apollo
Most addicted to Uber 1:
Jgreening
Most addicted to Uber 2:
Shlongy
Most argumentative:
Indoninja
Uberer Most Likely To Next Decide to 'Leave':
ETS (again)
Uberer You Wish Lived Near You:
I wish Danger_Ranger lived further away.
Most Intelligent Uberer:
Shandythedog
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2006-07-15 05:51:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
... omg i am in love with the wallabies.
Submitted by Danger_Ranger (user info) at 2006-07-15 05:43:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WOO WALLABIES FUCK YOU PHUZZYGISH FUCK YOU AND YOUR LET'S SING THE BANTU VERSION AND THEN THE BOER ONE NATIONAL ANTHEM (mind you i'll stand up for it) LET'S PRETEND WE EVEN KNOW THE WORDS NO LET'S NOT LET'S JUST SING ABOUT TEH PROMISED LAND AND HOW WE GET NAKED TOGETHER AND CALL IT 'TRAINING CAMP' FUCK YOU BOKS FUCK YOU AND NO CHEATING!!
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-07-15 04:53:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
us lot loves you too.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-07-15 04:49:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Whaa... I go to bed and it still carries on?
These comments are priceless.
I love you lot.
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2006-07-15 03:51:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am awesome.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-15 03:40:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Im sorry, I'm too drunk to fight and now i gotta go play hostesss cause im a good girl. We can totally throw down later though, if you want.
Goodnight.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-07-15 03:33:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Really, I was going for a "my uber-clique is better than your uber clique".
I've been working on it for a while now, but the only people to really bite were o-tron and scourge.
and they didn't bite that hard.
What the fuck is wrong with you 20K + users?
bunch of softies I think.
:)
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-07-15 03:31:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh come on
you can't even get into a proper internet nerd fight with me late on a friday night?
what kind of uberuser are you?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-15 02:52:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Most likely to make typos while drunk at 3am: Sacrilicious
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-15 02:50:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-07-15 02:27:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
it has nothing to do with your parroting scourge and my refusal to lavish orgasmatron and ghola with incessant praise?
Sorry, I must have gotten you all wrong.
and don't patronize me with your condescending verbiage.
========
Where did I parrot scourge in reference to you, Rad? Please cite it. Uber's a big place; I dare say that sharing an opinion is a far cry from parroting, but I'm curious nonetheless.
You must have gotten me all wrong if you think your "lavishing" or lack thereof matters to me or anyone else, or that uber is in fact a place where people can't take care of themselves.. where you think I can be bothered to keep track of how thousands of users respond to each other.
I'm certain you've written some quality posts..but in my humble opinion they are overshadowed by your hypocrisy of accusing people of a circle jerk (clearly implied by your comment above) while simultaneously assuming uber at large desires a play by play of your pets, your diets, your marriage and such. It's fine to talk about those things earnestly in my opinion, but if I did I certainly wouldn't begrudge others of posting about what amuses them.
Perhaps there has been a misundeerstanding between us. Merlina's positivity should be an inspiration to us both. Truce?
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-07-15 02:36:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
:(
most lame uberuser: rad1101
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-07-15 02:32:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
and as far as my posts go, here is an example of my typical stuff if you'd actually pay attention.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/70906
you liked that one if I remember right.
and yeah, I treat ubersite a little bloggishly, but give me a fucking break sister.
Don't start an internet nerd right you aren't going to be able to finish.
======
I am so fucking lame.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-07-15 02:27:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
it has nothing to do with your parroting scourge and my refusal to lavish orgasmatron and ghola with incessant praise?
Sorry, I must have gotten you all wrong.
and don't patronize me with your condescending verbiage.
Submitted by Serious_Melvin (user info) at 2006-07-15 02:26:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I vote for Wazza on all counts.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-15 02:16:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-07-14 19:38:47 (#)
Ranking: 2
See what I have to put up with?
I give some honest feedback to these people and they gang up on me
:(
=======
"These people"? Poor Rad. He doesn't even notice that he and I tend not to exchange reviews with each other, so there's no "honest feedback" to speak of, and that my comment has everything to do with his posts.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-07-15 01:32:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Anal bleaching is the roxxors
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-07-15 01:31:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Best reviewer (at smart comebacks): When Shlongy is on his game... but most consistently it's probably Caul or Berty. Or scourge. Shitfuck too.
Best reviewer (most interesting comments): NetProphet always had something interesting to say but he got tired of this place i guess. Lately, Yams? indoninja?
Overall Funniest poster: GLALL in his heyday. Now, and I know this is not the popular pick, but LSD420 cracks me the fuck up. Cyst Master also. steven st. awesome.
Most ambitious Uberer: definitely kaos king.
Most Highly Strung Uberer: loren, back in the day. im sure ets got some votes here. loki gets pissy whenever anybody disagrees with her. if dr_weazel is a real person i think he gets my vote. otherwise its loki.
Best Storyteller: bickerstaff, man. Jack Mccallum. j0andre.
Happiest Uberer: if you are a regular on ubersite, you are perpetually unhappy. circe i guess.
Uberer Most Likely To Disappear Up His/her Own Butt: ah, this one fits ubersite a little better. DCWoody. sicosemen.
Most addicted to Uber 1: darko
Most addicted to Uber 2: shlongy. he will never admit it, but it's true.
Most argumentative: obviously caulaincourt or professorfuckface. as the devil's advocate, indoninja.
Uberer Most Likely To Next Decide to 'Leave': i've got a feeling bart doesnt want to have much to do with this place anymore. he'd never leave, but if the circumstances were different, i think he would. iddqd? i really dont have faith in anybody to just up and leave for good.
Uberer You Wish Lived Near You: err, is "none of you freaks" an acceptable answer? i dont know, i think there are a few guys on this site i'd get along with really well, but i think it would be a stretch to say that i wished anybody lived near me. im not sure i really want to meet any uber women.
And finally...
Most Intelligent Uberer: circe, snark, caes. three-way tie.
I dont agree at all with your views on beauty.
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-07-15 01:13:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2005-01-08 21:59:26 (#)
Ranking: 0
slobodancomm: I WILL KNOCK YOUR FAT ASS DOWN THE STAIRS AND STOMP YOUR FAT SKULL
electro1178: I WILL KNOCK YOUR FAT ASS DOWN THE STAIRS AND STOMP YOUR FAT SKULL
slobodancomm: I WILL KILL YOU, YOU RACIST PIECE OF SHIT, I SAW WHAT YOU WROTE, EXPECT A VISIT
electro1178: I WILL KILL YOU, YOU RACIST PIECE OF SHIT, I SAW WHAT YOU WROTE, EXPECT A VISIT
slobodancomm: ECHOES WORDS OR PHRASES
slobodancomm: A SIGN OF AUTISM
electro1178: ECHOES WORDS OR PHRASES
electro1178: A SIGN OF AUTISM
slobodancomm: YOU ARE AUTISTIC
electro1178: YOU ARE AUTISTIC
slobodancomm: AUTISM
slobodancomm: YOU ARE FAT
electro1178: I have Autism... yes, but I only am repeating your words as you are a dumbshit.
electro1178: I am cool. I know.
electro1178: Thanks.
slobodancomm: NO YOU ARE RETARDED, SO YOU, HOW YOU SAY, PARROT
electro1178: You have a parrot, you say?
slobodancomm: YOU PARROT MY WORDS
electro1178: So you are a pirate?
electro1178: Go sail away
slobodancomm: I AM SLOPODAN
slobodancomm: I WILL SHOOT YOU UP
electro1178: I know your sloppy.
electro1178: You shout alot too
slobodancomm: HEY, THAT IS MY NAME YOU CUNT
slobodancomm: YOU RACIST PIECE OF SHIT
electro1178: You seem like someone kicked you in the nuts...
electro1178: I am not racist...
slobodancomm: YOU FUCKED WITH THE WRONG MAFIA, FATTY
slobodancomm: MY FRIEND YUGOSLAV WAS LOOKING FOR GUIDE TO COMING TO THE AMERICA
electro1178: mafia movies are cool.
slobodancomm: HE CAME ONTO YOUR INTERNET, IT SAID
slobodancomm: IT SAID YOU BITCH SLAP
slobodancomm: RUSSIANS
electro1178: Your friend is a yo-yo on the internet....
slobodancomm: HATE CRIMES
electro1178: You believed my story?
slobodancomm: YOU WILL BE BITCH SLAPPED WITH MY REVOLVER
electro1178: I actually haven't slapped anyone...
slobodancomm: I KNOW WHEN I AM CORRECT, AND YOU WILL BE PUNISHED
slobodancomm: OH, SO YOU ARE LIAR AS WELL AS HATE CRIMINAL
electro1178: I am not racist...
electro1178: and I am not a criminal...
slobodancomm: YOU ARE BOTH
electro1178: as I haven't broken any laws or shit
slobodancomm: YOU HAVE BROKEN HATE CRIME LAWS
slobodancomm: YOU OBVIOUSLY DON'T UNDERSTAND THE LAW
slobodancomm: BECAUSE YOU ARE RETARDED
electro1178: You are shouting... therefore, I sense you are nervous or something...
slobodancomm: AND YOU DO REMEDIAL MATH
slobodancomm: I HAVE A HOW YOU SAY 'POP QUIZ' FOR YOU
slobodancomm: WHAT IS 6 + 2
slobodancomm: DO NOT START THE WINDOWS CALCULATOR
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2006-07-15 00:54:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-07-14 21:10:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2006-07-14 20:55:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
187 reviews, and I'm not mentioned once.
I nominate myself for Most Narcissistic User, by the way.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WAS THAT A JOKE? that better have been a joke...read them again if not.
--------------------------------
No, it wasn't a joke. Your review made me read through all those reviews a second time, and I could not find one reference.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-07-15 00:19:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ah, Jaysis Fuck!!!
Whoever is running this site has updated it and added Caul some more "friends!"
http://www.myspace.com/alainlaflamme
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-07-15 00:18:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-07-14 22:24:09 (#)
Ranking: 2
Best Storyteller: Snark
------
good call
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2006-07-15 00:01:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-07-14 14:19:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
Best reviewer (at smart comebacks): professorfuckface
Best reviewer (most interesting comments): electrictoothsyndrome
Overall Funniest poster: Cyst_Master
Most ambitious Uberer: MyTeeOne
Most Highly Strung Uberer: Teephphah
Best Storyteller: Vermin
Happiest Uberer: Fungah
Uberer Most Likely To Disappear Up His/her Own Butt: Razor
Most addicted to Uber 1: Darko
Most addicted to Uber 2: Loki
Most argumentative: electrictoothsyndrome
Uberer Most Likely To Next Decide to 'Leave': hopefully no one, because I love you all so
Uberer You Wish Lived Near You: Berty
And finally...
Most Intelligent Uberer: Method
-----------
Holy fuck, someone mentioned me! This calls for some wisdom, fungah style. Behold:
DSmnjfadnijnAONAIUIh9j2nknjnfdklnmsdnsdjjjjjJJJjjJQQqqqqq q q q q q q q f j j j j j j jj j q jq jq jq jsdk sfgf gg64 64 u46 4uu yhwog5 531 34 h45 y52 y52 k53 k5y624p-0 thk,te e
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-07-14 23:41:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-07-14 09:08:12 (#)
Ranking: 2
Most Intelligent Uberer: goferforhire
------------------------
Really? Me?
Cool. I agree with the majority of what you said, so I won't post my own opinions otherwise. But me?
I'm intelligent? I'd have thought TTOM would be smarter than me.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-07-14 22:24:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Best reviewer (at smart comebacks): Berty
Best reviewer (most interesting comments): ProfessorFuckFace
Overall Funniest poster: Pentameter
Most ambitious Uberer: ETS
Most Highly Strung Uberer: See above
Best Storyteller: Snark
Happiest Uberer: Me
Uberer Most Likely To Disappear Up His/her Own Butt: ETS
Most addicted to Uber 1: Method
Most addicted to Uber 2: ProfessorFuckFace
Most argumentative: Tigerlilly
Uberer Most Likely To Next Decide to 'Leave': Any one of the alters georgemichael, steve1989, drweazel etc
Uberer You Wish Lived Near You: Shlongy. I know, I'm sooooo gay.
And finally...
Most Intelligent Uberer: Perhaps Cpt. Thorns. Hard to really say, we all act like idiots.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-07-14 21:58:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-07-14 19:49:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
This is just too much... http://www.myspace.com/alainlaflamme
Caul's gonna go absolutely ballistic when he sees this.
**goes to make popcorn**
--
THAT'S THE FUNNIEST FUCKING THING I'VE SEEN THIS YEAR!!!!
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2006-07-14 21:56:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-07-14 19:49:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
This is just too much... http://www.myspace.com/alainlaflamme
Caul's gonna go absolutely ballistic when he sees this.
**goes to make popcorn**
--
Fucking hilarious!
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-07-14 21:54:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-07-14 19:49:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
This is just too much... http://www.myspace.com/alainlaflamme
Caul's gonna go absolutely ballistic when he sees this.
**goes to make popcorn**
hahahaahahahahahah <pees self>
He's gonna have a fucking heart attack
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-07-14 21:15:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Guess who is drunk again and getting ready to go tear a night on the town?
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-07-14 21:10:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2006-07-14 20:55:35 (#)
Ranking: 2
187 reviews, and I'm not mentioned once.
I nominate myself for Most Narcissistic User, by the way.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
WAS THAT A JOKE? that better have been a joke...read them again if not.
Submitted by maiorano84 (user info) at 2006-07-14 20:55:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
187 reviews, and I'm not mentioned once.
I nominate myself for Most Narcissistic User, by the way.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-07-14 20:26:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Most emo Uberuser 1: Darko
Most emo Uberuser 2: Rad
Submitted by Chad_Sexington (user info) at 2006-07-14 20:26:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Is that Salad Fingers? I sure hope it isn't!
Submitted by stevie_says (user info) at 2006-07-14 20:18:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-07-14 19:49:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
This is just too much... http://www.myspace.com/alainlaflamme
Caul's gonna go absolutely ballistic when he sees this.
**goes to make popcorn**
--
Hindu? He should add Shlongy as a friend. And he very well may have and I'm just too lazy to look.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-07-14 20:17:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-07-14 19:49:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
This is just too much... http://www.myspace.com/alainlaflamme
Caul's gonna go absolutely ballistic when he sees this.
**goes to make popcorn**
==============================
Do you have to be wearing 3d glasses to view the text on that page?
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-07-14 20:07:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-07-14 19:39:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
KEEP IT UP AND IM OUTTA HERE
Promise? I'm up for that.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-07-14 19:49:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is just too much... http://www.myspace.com/alainlaflamme
Caul's gonna go absolutely ballistic when he sees this.
**goes to make popcorn**
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2006-07-14 19:44:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Uberer Most Likely To Next Decide to 'Leave': Jgreening, after he reads the nasty comments I've left and writes them down in his diary.
***
HAHA I hate when uber makes me laugh and my boyfriend goes "HUH what? What are you doing?" and then comes to look over my shoulder.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-07-14 19:39:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
KEEP IT UP AND IM OUTTA HERE
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-07-14 19:38:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-14 12:41:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
Uberer Most Likely To Next Decide to 'Leave': Rad will finally leave for LiveJournal.com.
=============================
See what I have to put up with?
I give some honest feedback to these people and they gang up on me
:(
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2006-07-14 19:34:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2006-07-14 14:13:27 (#)
Ranking: 0
Uberer Most Likely To Disappear Up His/her Own Butt: That guy who thinks continuously posting pictures of his cock and rubbish tattoos is 'edgy' rather than 'tiresome' - I expect we'll be treated to live streaming video of his colon any day now
---
We can only hope on this. Sadly I think he will continue as he thinks the negative rating are just jealousy.
As long as the colon had cancer I will sleep better at nights.
And no there is no jealousy in this review, if I had that then I wouldn't post the fucker on the internet. I would cut it off and send it too the guiness book of records.
---
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-07-14 14:28:32 (#)
Ranking: 0
and DrogoRoch thank you - that meant alot
---
The story of you and your grandmother hit a cord.
Submitted by rockdocc (user info) at 2006-07-14 19:23:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I always thought einstein was hot.
I had this fantasy that if I could just..just run my fingers through his hair that maybe I could be cool like him.
kind of the whole jesus thing, ya know "touch his cloak...stop the bleeding" except it's "run your fingers through einstein's wild and unruly hair, and throw a few more iq points on ya"
i dunno.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-07-14 19:13:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 Merlina and Salad Fingers
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-07-14 18:47:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oooh.. add Jack McCullum to my vote for best storyteller..
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-07-14 18:45:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Best reviewer (at smart comebacks): Caul
Best reviewer (most interesting comments): Berty
Overall Funniest poster: Nath
Most ambitious Uberer: Rad
Most Highly Strung Uberer: Mystiamoon
Best Storyteller: Nath
Happiest Uberer: Merlina, Phuzzy, or C1ndy
Uberer Most Likely To Disappear Up His/her Own Butt: Sicoseman or Shlongy
Most addicted to Uber 1: Jpeg
Most addicted to Uber 2: Method
Most argumentative: ETS
Uberer Most Likely To Next Decide to 'Leave': Which ever chick happens to have noodz posted by someone else.
Uberer You Wish Lived Near You: Nath, Merlina, C1ndy, ManicMother, Danger_Ranger, Kracka, Phuzzy... SO many more!!
Uberer most likely to be forgotten by everyone: Crystle
And finally...
Most Intelligent Uberer:... well, I have to meet a whole lot more of you before I decide this one.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-07-14 18:29:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-07-14 16:47:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-07-14 13:42:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-07-14 12:52:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
How do Dan and Katy know I'm happy?
It's true, I am.
WOOOOOOO!!
-------------------------------
I thought it was pretty obvious from the smile on your face whilst you lay in bed this morning. Sorry I had to cut out early, you know how much I hate morning breath.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MY MORNING BREATH SMELLS LIKE DANDELIONS AND THE MISTY DEW ON A LOVELY GODDAMN MOUNTAINTOP!
If you had stuck around, sugar, you'd know that. But it's ok. You know how much I hate morning baldness.
======================================
PwnZorD!!
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-07-14 18:10:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Best reviewer (at smart comebacks): electro
Best reviewer (most interesting comments): electro
Overall Funniest poster: electro
Most ambitious Uberer: electro
Most Highly Strung Uberer: electro
Best Storyteller: electro
Happiest Uberer: electro
Uberer Most Likely To Disappear Up His/her Own Butt: electro
Most addicted to Uber 1: electro
Most addicted to Uber 2: electro
Most argumentative: electro
Uberer Most Likely To Next Decide to 'Leave': electro
Uberer You Wish Lived Near You: electro's boobies
Most Intelligent Uberer: NOT electro
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2006-07-14 18:03:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Damn fucking enter key.
Not one mention by anyone, its nice to know where I stand in Uberland....sniff.
I'll post mine later.
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2006-07-14 18:02:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-07-14 17:41:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I find it hard to believe that Shlongy isn't winning "Most Intelligent" in a fucking landslide.
Because it shouldn't even be close.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-07-14 16:56:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well, you didn't put up Best Reviewer (UberMadness) because everyone knows it's me, right? RIGHT?
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-07-14 16:47:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-07-14 13:42:34 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-07-14 12:52:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
How do Dan and Katy know I'm happy?
It's true, I am.
WOOOOOOO!!
-------------------------------
I thought it was pretty obvious from the smile on your face whilst you lay in bed this morning. Sorry I had to cut out early, you know how much I hate morning breath.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
MY MORNING BREATH SMELLS LIKE DANDELIONS AND THE MISTY DEW ON A LOVELY GODDAMN MOUNTAINTOP!
If you had stuck around, sugar, you'd know that. But it's ok. You know how much I hate morning baldness.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-07-14 16:42:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh shit, how did I forget PFF? He's fucking hilarious. I agree with a lot of AJ's choices.
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-07-14 16:20:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-07-14 16:09:53 (#)
Ranking: 0
Thats not true, you lying whore
----------------------------------------------------
You couldn't instigate me if you tried.
Cause, I wuv you!
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-07-14 16:14:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-07-14 16:11:59 (#)
Ranking: 0
It's the ONLY time I'm funny, you stunned cunt
~~~~
AAH HA HA HA HA
*smooches*
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-07-14 16:11:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's the ONLY time I'm funny, you stunned cunt
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-07-14 16:11:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-07-14 16:09:53 (#)
Ranking: 0
Thats not true, you lying whore
~~~
Method! Behave!
Actually no, fuck it, you're funny when you're like this......
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-07-14 16:09:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thats not true, you lying whore
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-07-14 15:52:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*instigated*
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-07-14 15:47:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
PS. I only argue when instigate. I never start arguments.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-07-14 15:15:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Most ambitious Uberer: Forthewin (the way he plastered the link to his MVM all over the net seals it).
______
Ah, my infamous MVM.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-07-14 15:06:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Best reviewer (at smart comebacks): Apollo, Method, me, yidele, loki, professorfuckface, lots of people.
Best reviewer (most interesting comments): The_Cyst_Master, Electro
Overall Funniest poster: Professorfuckface
Most ambitious Uberer: Ambition on Uber? Electro or jgreening, the losers.
Most Highly Strung Uberer: McCallum- just like any red-blooded conservative.
Best Storyteller: Bickerstaff's great. I like Bigmike's stuff, too. Makes me want Werther's Originals.
Happiest Uberer: In general, loki.
Uberer Most Likely To Disappear Up His/her Own Butt: McCallum.
Most addicted to Uber 1: jgreening
Most addicted to Uber 2: Electro
Too many darko answers, people seem to forget he left for a span of months.
Most argumentative: domenad, Caulaincourt, McCallum, ETS, jgreening, etc. etc. etc.
Uberer Most Likely To Next Decide to 'Leave': Jgreening, after he reads the nasty comments I've left and writes them down in his diary.
Uberer You Wish Lived Near You: Method, pantsarestupid, corn_nugget, Bart, Lisa, GLALL, JMG, Razor and firefly, Nicole3 and Loren1, Apollo, Shandy. Pretty much anyone I've met/conversed with extensively with the exception of You-know-who. Oh and I suppose I would get drunk with Dervel if he were around.
And finally...
Most Intelligent Uberer: Shitfuck.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-07-14 14:51:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-07-14 14:32:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-07-14 14:08:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
Dost thou mock my decision TTOM?
------------
Oh quite the opposite, its fairly obvious that my thought-meats are brilliant
=====================================
Thought-meats?!
I suppose it's true, insanity and brilliance runs along a fine line. Very fine!
Submitted by ghola (user info) at 2006-07-14 14:45:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Mmmm... Salad Fingers...
I think this was done by the same guy... http://www.stupidcollege.com/items/Mr-Happy-Face
In any case, I laughed so hard I almost threw up when I watched this. **SFW** (but with sound)
-------
I don't think david firth did mr happy face.
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-07-14 14:43:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Happiest Uberer: Merlina
~~~
Yup.
*skips off through the daisies*
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-07-14 14:36:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Filthy, you don't even know how close to the truth you are.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-07-14 14:34:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Mmmm... Salad Fingers...
I think this was done by the same guy... http://www.stupidcollege.com/items/Mr-Happy-Face
In any case, I laughed so hard I almost threw up when I watched this. **SFW** (but with sound)
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-07-14 14:32:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-07-14 14:08:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
Dost thou mock my decision TTOM?
------------
Oh quite the opposite, its fairly obvious that my thought-meats are brilliant
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-07-14 14:32:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Best reviewer (at smart comebacks): Shlongy
Best reviewer (most interesting comments): Method
Overall Funniest poster: Saxon
Most ambitious Uberer: ?
Most Highly Strung Uberer: ETS
Best Storyteller: Circe/Badlands
Happiest Uberer: Merlina
Uberer Most Likely To Disappear Up His/her Own Butt: Apollo
Most addicted to Uber 1: Method
Most addicted to Uber 2: Shlongy
Most argumentative: Caul
Uberer Most Likely To Next Decide to 'Leave': Bart
Uberer You Wish Lived Near You: Nitty
And finally...
Most Intelligent Uberer: Filthy
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-07-14 14:28:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-14 12:41:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
Happiest Uberer: Merlina- You seem utterly confident and truly satisfied with your life, pretty lady.
~~~
thanks sweetheart. I am stupidly happy, I just ignore the crap in the world and turn the ipod up whilst listening to Ain't Got No, I'veGot Life by Nina Simone. So perfect. Life is easy - it's just perspective.
and DrogoRoch thank you - that meant alot.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-07-14 14:21:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FUCK! I totally forgot about Cystie!!!
Of course, I would put The Cyst Master in a special category all his own.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-07-14 14:19:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Best reviewer (at smart comebacks): professorfuckface
Best reviewer (most interesting comments): electrictoothsyndrome
Overall Funniest poster: Cyst_Master
Most ambitious Uberer: MyTeeOne
Most Highly Strung Uberer: Teephphah
Best Storyteller: Vermin
Happiest Uberer: Fungah
Uberer Most Likely To Disappear Up His/her Own Butt: Razor
Most addicted to Uber 1: Darko
Most addicted to Uber 2: Loki
Most argumentative: electrictoothsyndrome
Uberer Most Likely To Next Decide to 'Leave': hopefully no one, because I love you all so
Uberer You Wish Lived Near You: Berty
And finally...
Most Intelligent Uberer: Method
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2006-07-14 14:13:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-07-14 13:10:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
Most Intelligent Uberer: Istaros, iddqd. Or redskies. Or filthy. Fuck, I don't know. A lot of you seem pretty fucking brilliant.
===
I'm going to print this comment out and paste it to the blank section of wall that Old Mother Filth reserved for my graduation photo.
My picks:
Best reviewer (at smart comebacks): Caul, because he's doing it in his second language
Best reviewer (most interesting comments): Coyote & Spike
Overall Funniest poster: Jimbo & Stevie_says
Most ambitious Uberer: Ambitious people do not dick around on the internet when they are supposed to be working
Most Highly Strung Uberer: ETS
Best Storyteller: Circe & JackMcCallum. Smurfs was pretty good too, but he lost points for being a self-absorbed cunt
Happiest Uberer: Cindy & Merlina
Uberer Most Likely To Disappear Up His/her Own Butt: That guy who thinks continuously posting pictures of his cock and rubbish tattoos is 'edgy' rather than 'tiresome' - I expect we'll be treated to live streaming video of his colon any day now.
Most argumentative: Caul & indo
Uberer You Wish Lived Near You: Jay, but only because I'd like to kick him in the throat
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-07-14 14:08:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dost thou mock my decision TTOM?
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-07-14 13:57:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
and now I get a vote for most intelligent, simply based on the fact i know far too much about animals than any grown man should...excellent, its all coming together.
Also, if we're having best username then Phallic Cymbals wins hands down
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-07-14 13:42:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-07-14 12:52:01 (#)
Ranking: 2
How do Dan and Katy know I'm happy?
It's true, I am.
WOOOOOOO!!
-------------------------------
I thought it was pretty obvious from the smile on your face whilst you lay in bed this morning. Sorry I had to cut out early, you know how much I hate morning breath.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-07-14 13:37:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
caul does make funny faces doesn't he.
haha, i guess i picked a good day to have a bad day and take it out on some random grouping of electrons and binary.
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-07-14 13:34:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have another category for you... Best Username.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-07-14 13:29:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-07-14 13:13:34 (#)
Ranking: -2
no i just dislike people that overuse exclamation points. statements can end in periods too. the little dot thingies to the right of the smeared dot things called commas.
sure is a good answer, it's a positive one. think positively. i am judgmental, everyone is, if you think you're not you're lying to yourself and anyone you tell that to. i am a bitch, but that's something i've been working on for years now and i swear i've almost perfected it. had a lapse for a year or two but i'm making up for lost time.
honey, i got it from your reviews. you seem like an empty twat. maybe you are the nicest person in the world, maybe you're an alter. but you seem easily excitable in the bad way, kind of like if you give cocaine to some type of rodent. and it seems fake too. honesty's much nicer. i've had a bad week, you're a good target. why? because instead of offending or getting a mild rise out of someone i give a shit about i might as well take out all frustrations on people i don't care about. later, i plan to kick a nun and take a binky away from a toddler.
something about you or this alter gets under my skin. bleh... dunno why. don't care why either. i said you were cute, but looked underage. best you're gonna get. then i rated on personality, or the little feeling i got about it from your comments. big friggin whoop. i'm bored, you're bored, we're all fairly bored. who cares.
no i'm not jealous. and i don't consider myself good looking, which is funny cuz i still have no problem telling anyone if i think they're fugly or if i didn't mind taking a gander at their visage.
either way, i don't like you. i hope you choke on some nonspecific type of pasta.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ok, I'm adding inion to my favorite reviewer list.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-07-14 13:28:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Also Anansie is now eligable to joing my growing stable of murder ho's. At this rate I'll be able to seriously till the soil at my allotment!
Watch out Mr Weaver; next years 1st place ribbon for Ultimate Carrot will be mine!
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-07-14 13:26:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Done tastefully of course.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-07-14 13:24:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have totally pwned the Most interesting reviewer category. There totally needs to be a picture of me in my ninja superhero costume punching Lenin in the face with his own cock.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-07-14 13:10:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm not really goood at narrowing things down, but:
Best reviewer (at smart comebacks): Ok, subcategories for this one, sorry: (Best at making you look/feel like a moron: Caul. Funniest comebacks: Apollo or Method.
Best reviewer (most interesting comments): Berty
Overall Funniest poster: I don't know. Let's say Average_Dan, or Berty, when he's in his groove.
Most ambitious Uberer: Forthewin (the way he plastered the link to his MVM all over the net seals it).
Most Highly Strung Uberer: Not sure, probably Caul. He seems tense.
Best Storyteller: I can't decide, sorry. My favorite overall poster is Circe, though.
Happiest Uberer: Phuzzy
Uberer Most Likely To Disappear Up His/her Own Butt: iddqd, but that's because of (see last question)
Most addicted to Uber 1: Shlongy
Most addicted to Uber 2: Method
Most argumentative: Caul
Uberer Most Likely To Next Decide to 'Leave': Me, but I won't make a big proclamation about it like a moron.
Uberer You Wish Lived Near You: I don't want to meet you cunts. (Average_Dan, Circe)
And finally...
Most Intelligent Uberer: Istaros, iddqd. Or redskies. Or filthy. Fuck, I don't know. A lot of you seem pretty fucking brilliant.
Plus, here are a few of my own categories:
Best First Post: Katy
Meanest Uberer: Method
Sweetest Uberer: You are all evil (except maybe Godchicken, or Tiger, unless she's riled)
Uberer I wouldn't kick out of bed and force to leave my house at gunpoint: Phuzzy (looks) or Berty (personality and strange wheelchair fetish.)
Uberer who'd be pretty darn cute if he'd stop making silly faces: Caul
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-07-14 13:00:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
the shit eating grin on your camwhores?
that and the braids. only happy people wear braids. people like pippi longstocking, and that farmer's daughter everyone hopes they're going to screw.
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2006-07-14 12:52:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
How do Dan and Katy know I'm happy?
It's true, I am.
WOOOOOOO!!
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2006-07-14 12:49:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well said....I completely agree
Best reviewer (at smart comebacks): Shlongy
Best reviewer (most interesting comments): Berty
Overall Funniest poster: Siren
Most ambitious Uberer: Dr. TonyMontana (har)
Most Highly Strung Uberer: ETS
Best Storyteller: Stevie_says
Happiest Uberer: TigerLilly
Uberer Most Likely To Disappear Up His/her Own Butt: Apollo
Most addicted to Uber 1: Darko
Most addicted to Uber 2: Method
Most argumentative: Caulaincourt
Uberer Most Likely To Next Decide to 'Leave': ETS
Uberer You Wish Lived Near You: Stevie_says, because he reminds me of me, and i love me
And finally...
Most Intelligent Uberer: ETS
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-14 12:41:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I tend to forget/overlook people with these, so I reserve the right to amend.
Best reviewer (at smart comebacks): Filthy Assistant, JonnyX, Jeanneee
Best reviewer (most interesting comments): Berty, Orgasmatron's are unmatched
Overall Funniest poster: HighVoltage900, Average_Dan, stevie_says
Most ambitious Uberer: TTOM, forthewin
Most Highly Strung Uberer: redskieslookfake (in a good way..love you, Jake)
Favorite Storyteller/Overall writer: ghola, Jack McCallum, CharminglyBeef, StaggerLee
Happiest Uberer: Merlina- You seem utterly confident and truly satisfied with your life, pretty lady.
Uberer Most Likely To Disappear Up His/her Own Butt: Fat Tony
Most addicted to Uber 1: Shlongy
Most addicted to Uber 2: Method
Most argumentative: Caul (but he's funny when he does it), and lately, Bubba
Uberer Most Likely To Next Decide to 'Leave': Rad will finally leave for LiveJournal.com. I hope it isn't scourge because that would make me inconsolably sad.
Uberer You Wish Lived Near You: ghola and simple_catalyst.
And finally...
The one I'd most like to find in my bed: Orgasmatron and Phuzzygish. At the same time.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-07-14 12:21:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
probably shouldn't be looking in nyc unless you're stalking a prep school senior. um... start stalking nyu and columbia and stuff?
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-07-14 12:10:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2006-07-14 12:08:57 (#)
Ranking: 2
I enjoyed this post.
I agree with you anyway, I find the better a person's personality is, the more attractive they actually seem to become with time. I've met beautiful people who just look ugly as all sin to me due to.... rampant cranial idiocy.
-------------
I think I shall be forever single because I'm looking for brains and beauty. I'm probably going to have to settle for a mediocre looking, incredibly intelligent girl.
But where to find one?
Oh, wait......ubersite
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2006-07-14 12:08:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I enjoyed this post.
I agree with you anyway, I find the better a person's personality is, the more attractive they actually seem to become with time. I've met beautiful people who just look ugly as all sin to me due to.... rampant cranial idiocy.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-07-14 12:04:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hand gliding?
well that's a new term for wanking i've never heard before.
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-07-14 11:57:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*looks at post*
*nods thoughtfully*
*wanders off*
*starts handgliding*
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-07-14 11:54:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Best reviewer (at smart comebacks): Method, or Orgasmatron
Best reviewer (most interesting comments): Berty
Overall Funniest poster: This is the toughest question ever. In my opinion: Tinactin. Fucking genius!
Most ambitious Uberer: Ambitious as in, who wants to be most successfull in Uberland? Axoltl?
Most Highly Strung Uberer: ETS
Best Storyteller: Bickerstaff. That prick.
Happiest Uberer: Anansie
Uberer Most Likely To Disappear Up His/her Own Butt: Lisa
Most addicted to Uber 1: Shlongy
Most addicted to Uber 2: Method
Most argumentative: Tiger, ETS, or IDDQD
Uberer Most Likely To Next Decide to 'Leave': ETS
Uberer You Wish Lived Near You: I wish we all lived together in a gated community by the beach, but expecially FartSmeller. But I think we are getting an apartment together when this whold thing clears up.
And finally...
Most Intelligent Uberer: The_Tasts_Of_Moknkeys. He astounds me with his knowledge of zoology.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-07-14 11:47:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Merlina, I was talking about scourge, but I appreciate your sympathy. I'm having a marvelous day and perhaps I will write you an email or if you are inclined to do so first: iachini007.at.hotmail.com
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2006-07-14 11:47:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Best reviewer (at smart comebacks): Method
Best reviewer (most interesting comments): Berty
Overall Funniest poster: Nath
Most ambitious Uberer: Stabkill
Most Highly Strung Uberer: ETS
Best Storyteller: Jack McCallum
Happiest Uberer: Tigerlilly
Uberer Most Likely To Disappear Up His/her Own Butt: Fat Tony
Most addicted to Uber 1: Axolot
Most addicted to Uber 2: Sicosemen
Most argumentative: Caulaincort
Uberer Most Likely To Next Decide to 'Leave': ?
Uberer You Wish Lived Near You: JMG
Most Intelligent Uberer: Habeeb
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-14 11:40:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-07-14 11:25:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-14 11:23:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
I may answer these differently when I'm in a better mood.
~~~
bad day at the office honey?
==
Bad year at the office...
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-14 11:39:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You know what, these guys are probably right. I just may be the most addicted to uber.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2006-07-14 11:37:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Best reviewer (most interesting comments): Badassmofo
Overall Funniest poster: Grimm/ Nath/ Comicbookguy
Most ambitious Uberer: ETS, i think he thinks the world will change.
Most Highly Strung Uberer:
Best Storyteller: Beano/ Merlina
Happiest Uberer: Mr Smiley/ Me
Uberer Most Likely To Disappear Up His/her Own Butt: Shlongy, but he I think he may actually have been up there already
Most addicted to Uber 1: Darko
Most argumentative: Indoninja
Uberer Most Likely To Next Decide to 'Leave': Are we picking someone who we then bully into leaving?
Uberer You Wish Lived Near You: Who wants to live in Devon? Because I'm not moving for a while.
And finally...
Most Intelligent Uberer: Thats a trick question methinks.
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-07-14 11:36:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Best reviewer (at smart comebacks): Method
Best reviewer (most interesting comments): Redskieslookfake always spouts some nonesense Id never heard of before
Overall Funniest poster: Nath
Most ambitious Uberer: Cookielass for getting me to draw goblines she can use as tats
Most Highly Strung Uberer: ETS
Best Storyteller: Nath
Happiest Uberer: Badassjulie always seemed a happy-go-lucky imp to me
Uberer Most Likely To Disappear Up His/her Own Butt: ETS
Most addicted to Uber 1: Shlongy
Most addicted to Uber 2: Cookielass if she gets those TTOM goblin tats
Most argumentative: ETS
Uberer Most Likely To Next Decide to 'Leave': ETS
Uberer You Wish Lived Near You: Axolotl, I like to corrupt the young
And finally...
Most Intelligent Uberer: Little Ax again, I wish I was as smart as he is when i was 16, the little bastard, Id like to smack that kid in the mouth!
Alright! I gots me some votes for funniest and most ambitious! Weet AND Bosh! Boweesht!
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-07-14 11:32:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-07-14 11:30:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-07-14 11:25:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
Bad day at life.
~~~~~
Tomorrow will be better hon. Wake up and kick 'lifes' arse.
You wanna chat - irishmerlina.at.yahoo.com
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-07-14 11:30:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Merlina (user info) at 2006-07-14 11:25:07 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-14 11:23:36 (#)
Ranking: 2
I may answer these differently when I'm in a better mood.
~~~
bad day at the office honey?
-----
Bad day at life.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (