Popcorn Ceiling Theatre (447 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 0 on 7 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Dexter Brown (View user info) at 2006-07-17 03:20:36 EDT
Maybe you're like me. Lying awake in bed, dazed, staring. A lawnmower drones in the distance. The sound of people starting their weekend responsibly gives me a twinge of guilt. I'm staring straight up my popcorn ceiling with no particular focus.
There is nothing that says cheap rental quite like popcorn ceilings; popcorn ceilings, beige carpet, diamond doorknobs, vertical blinds, and not-quite-white paint applied to every wall. I wonder if there is a Rentals aisle in Home Depot that stocks just these items. The lords of the land shall converge on this aisle and define the standards of rental living.
Their is an inexplicable life force that flows through popcorn ceilings. Abstract textures suddenly shape-shift into clearly defined forms. I see faces mostly; forlorn, melancholy visages of nobody familiar. But look there! The nose of that woman has turned into this gentleman's ear. The faces begin to form and break apart as if foam trying to coagulate on a turbulent sea.
I become further mesmerized. A frozen countenance now begins to show signs of life, nodding his head slightly as if engaged in conversation. I focus directly on him, but he freezes. I relax my focus, and slowly, very slowly, he resumes his conversation. Somehow I feel we have engaged in a sort of game, a game where focusing my vision is clearly disallowed.
I become accustomed to the rules, and have steadily gained the trust of the Popcorn Society. It has become a dizzying array of humanity.Some are laughing, others are sullen. Sometimes the laughing turns to crying. Some have started to dance; all in rhythmic, seemingly orchestrated movement.
A knock on the door. All movement seizes. I can still see their faces frozen in their last position, but the faces begin to fade. I can't help but wonder what Rorschach would have thought about all this.
User Reviews
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-10-18 17:47:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You deserve better than this.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-07-18 01:35:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So I'm driving home from the gym, right? And there's a lightning storm going on. Not much rain, slight drizzle, and it's about 85 degrees, and this lightning is all over the place. I'm thinking this is perfect running weather. So I jog down to a high school near me and start running on their track. About ten minutes in, a huge fucking lightning bolt hits a power pole across the street to which I am running adjacent; about 25 yards away from me. The power box on the pole (I cant think of their technical name right now) explodes and I jump sideways, twist in the air and faceplant on the ground and sprint the fuck away. I have never been more scared. On my way home, I'm thinking this is the third time in as many days I've almost died. Alright God, you made your point.
+2 for everybody on the front page for me still being alive.
Submitted by dr_weazel (user info) at 2006-07-17 17:38:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I hope the asbestos in that ceiling seeps into your lungs and gives you cancer.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-07-17 07:29:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
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Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2006-07-17 06:46:50 (#)
Ranking: 0
The Bible tells us that the teachings of Jesus took place in three main stages. The most famous is that near the end of His life, where he was most public and outspoken. He also taught on the steps of a Temple as a child. The earliest known teachings are, of course, from when He was merely an infant, when He made it known that bitmaps make Him cry.
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Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-07-17 03:51:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You didn't listen to me.
Shame!
Submitted by jgreening (user info) at 2006-07-17 03:43:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
I am giving this a -1 at the moment.
With a repost, I might make it a +1 to even it out.
Submitted by coley (user info) at 2006-07-17 03:34:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
QUICK
repost it without the BMP
(make it a jpg or something)
TRUS TME ON THIS ONE