How Does One Date A Chick With A Kid? (2175 hits)
Category: RomanceLabels: Misc
Rating: 1.33 on 69 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by kaos-king (antius777) (View user info) at 2006-07-17 14:14:02 EDT
As I near my thirties, I've come to realize a number of things about my dating situation. Unless I want to date chicks a few years younger than me, chances are, I'm going to have to deal with either 1) Ex-Husbands and/or 2) Children. More often than not, it's going to be children. Now, I've never dated anyone with a kid, so I really don't know what to do when placed in that situation. However, after this last weekend...
It was all very spur of the moment.
I had known her for over a decade, we had gone to High School together, she was a year behind me. She was cute back then, a little track star. When she was only sixteen, she was diagnosed with some bizarre thing going on with her 'lady parts' and I honestly can't remember the name of the condition. She had surgery where they removed virtually all of her internal stuff and told her the chances of ever conceiving a child where remotely slim. Needless to say, when she was 22 and she found out she was pregnant, it was a miracle baby. Even though she and her boyfriend weren't that serious and she was young, she kept that baby because she knew the chances of every having another shot at motherhood might never come.
Her and the BabyDaddy didn't work out for various reasons and she hooked up with her current douchebag of a boyfriend. She has supported him through her work as an assistant veterinarian tech and both bartending and photographed on the side. He thinks he's a rock star. He decided he wanted to move back in with his parents to be closer to his band, forcing her to go back to her parents as well.
With her daughter going to her grandmother's for the weekend, she decided she just needed to get away. We hadn't seen each other in years and I told her to make the hour trip up here, that some mutual friends lived in the area and we could all hit the bars. She was excited to visit, but seemed nervous, as if I would be disappointed in her or something.
She navigated up here just fine, calling only once for specifics on directions. When I went down to the car to greet her, I do believe my mouth fell to the pavement. She was absolutely gorgeous. Dressed in a strappy red tank top and black skirt, she still had the body of a 17 year old track star, not the mother of a 5 year old. Stunned, I think I babbled something incoherently and gave her a hug.
The night went awesome, and although our friends were busy, we had a great time. We talked about everything that popped into our heads and I complimented her endlessly, something I knew her current guy never did. (Which I still can't fathom.) Our conversations were easy, effortless and honest.
Around 2am, we were back at my place and she was falling asleep on the couch. I blatantly said "Come to bed with me, I won't do anything inappropriate," and she did. She warned me that she never slept for more than a few hours, that she hadn't in years, her anxiety was that bad. I told her that was fine, just to wake me when she got up. We curled up together in my bed and she quickly fell asleep next to me.
She slept for eight hours.
Surprised when she did awake the next day, we discussed what to do. We decided to go to lunch, and there she started asking me about the schools in the area. I knew a little bit because my little brother is a substitute teacher and told her all I could remember. When she started asking about about rent prices in the area, I did my best to hold back a smile.
Back at my place, we sat on one of my couches and talked some more, her thin legs draped across mine. Finally it started to get late and I walked her out. The goodbyes were awkward, for I don't think either of us wanted to see her leave. I kissed her on the cheek, and she said she would be back up soon.
And now... well, I don't really know. She is beautiful, intelligent and cool as hell. I would love to see her again. I'm pretty sure I would want things to be more intimate, more serious. However, I have NO idea what one is suppose to do in the situation when your girlfriend has a kid. Having 4 little brothers makes me well accustomed on how to rough-house and play with little boys, but 5 year old girls are scary! I just kinda pat them on the head and smile.
So I come to Uber to ask for **cough** advice. How does one date a chick with a child? Is there some type of etiquette that I'm not aware of? Ubermenz, would YOU date a woman with a kid? If not, why? Uberwimmenz, if you're single and have kids, what kind of words of wisdom do you have for me?
User Reviews
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2006-07-21 10:21:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-07-18 15:55:47 (#)
Ranking: 1
Hump 'er & dump 'er.
***
haha Classic Bob
Submitted by wanderingsharps (user info) at 2006-07-19 12:25:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
start with wearing underwear all the time. I'm being honest here. the little one will always try to crawl into your lap...
also, wear pj's to bed. trust me on this. It will save you (and the kid) some heavy drinking moments later on.
oh and if the girl is really loud while orgasming, smother her with a pillow to keep the noise down and not wake up the small one. heck, even if she's not, keep in practise....
other than that...what the hell. it's like a chance to see what having a child is like with a free walk card. 5 year olds can be pretty cool.it's like having a happy gullible drunk friend 24/7- they're a little slow, they don't catch on to well, but you can get them to do just about anything.... drink ketchup? why not? make water balloons with condoms? yup. They are a story waiting to happen.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-07-18 15:55:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Hump 'er & dump 'er.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2006-07-18 10:06:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2006-07-18 07:27:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Relax, Enjoy the time together.
Try to keep the child removed from the relationship for a while.
If she isn't just looking for a surrogate dad quick time, then she will probably keep the child away from you until she is ready.
Of course it doesn't always work but hey at least you can say you gave it a go with no regrets.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-07-18 04:52:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't listen to Snare. Women with kids are like spiders, they're more frightened of you than you are of them.
Unless it's like JohnmyX says and she's just using you for your body.
But why would she use a cartoonist for his body? It makes no sense...
She can't be after his money, because he doesn't have any.
She can't be after his youth because they are the same age.
And I doubt she'd want a cartoonist bringing up her child. No offense like.
So I think we can conclude that she's not some kind of mythological creature and is in fact a human being in need of hugs.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-07-18 04:32:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was being serious...
Submitted by Snare (user info) at 2006-07-18 04:19:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
There's a head trip you WILL need to overcome.
Because believe me, this chick is looking for something serious, something that invloves her getting dressed in white.
And sometime between then and now you will look at her kid, this cuckoo in your nest, begat upon her by some other guy, and you will have to take that 'other guy seed' into your heart. Now me, I'm just WAAY to cro-magnon to do that. Don't get me wrong I think people who can are great. But that's a hurdle that sends me running.
Add the little kicker that this is barren ground your plowing. No little kid for you. Dead-end sperm convoys for the rest of your days. No little Johnny to play catch with and brag about to your buddies at the bar about and to give your life meaning in those pain filled empty days and years before death. Again, other, better, people can get over that. But not me.
If these two issues cause you no insurmountable problems then date away, prepared for the worst possible outcome. Love and marriage.
If they cause you the screaming heebie-jeebies then don't waste your time.
And really don't waste her time.
And really, really don't waste her daughters time.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-07-18 03:58:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-07-18 03:01:40 (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't worry about the poor little bugger. Jesus, it's only a very short person. The only thing you've got to discuss, really, is disciplining it when it's bad. Other than that just have fun with it and it's mother.
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Ahahaha, Berty, you slay me.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-07-18 03:01:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Don't worry about the poor little bugger. Jesus, it's only a very short person. The only thing you've got to discuss, really, is disciplining it when it's bad. Other than that just have fun with it and it's mother.
Submitted by AsshOly (user info) at 2006-07-18 01:30:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So I'm driving home from the gym, right? And there's a lightning storm going on. Not much rain, slight drizzle, and it's about 85 degrees, and this lightning is all over the place. I'm thinking this is perfect running weather. So I jog down to a high school near me and start running on their track. About ten minutes in, a huge fucking lightning bolt hits a power pole across the street to which I am running adjacent; about 25 yards away from me. The power box on the pole (I cant think of their technical name right now) explodes and I jump sideways, twist in the air and faceplant on the ground and sprint the fuck away. I have never been more scared. On my way home, I'm thinking this is the third time in as many days I've almost died. Alright God, you made your point.
+2 for everybody on the front page for me still being alive.
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2006-07-17 21:58:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
the best advice I can give is to talk to her about it,
try to be nice to the kid, and make it a point to include the kid as much as possible.
If the kid doesn't like you then you may not be doomed to failure, but it will be a rough time.
Submitted by Soley_Trinity (user info) at 2006-07-17 21:08:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Don't worry about the kid until things get serious. That should take some time... maybe not.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-07-17 20:54:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have no kids, nor have I ever dated anyone with kids, so I can't speak from experience, but I do know plenty of people who have been on both sides of the situation that you're in.
You won't be number one on her list of overall priorities, and that's just something you'll have to accept and be OK with.
If you can be understanding about that, if you and she really like each other, and if you're comfortable around kids, then there's no reason it can't be a great situation for everyone involved.
Submitted by Circe (user info) at 2006-07-17 20:49:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If she really loves you, she'll drown the kids in the bath so you can be together.
.....
Seriously, leave the kid up to her. Don't even worry about it until things get serious.
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-07-17 20:43:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
can someone kill Jonny X for me?
Submitted by PerkMan (user info) at 2006-07-17 20:36:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
well, um...... You just don't.
I guess that is about it.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-17 20:09:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HOW MUCH ASS DO YOU GET?
Jesus.
Submitted by Boon (user info) at 2006-07-17 19:55:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-07-17 16:24:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
rape her in the ass
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I agree with this guy
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-07-17 19:07:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Good
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2006-07-17 19:00:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
but her daughter should be fine unless she like, picked up herpes in the birth canal. and I think that shows on your face or some shit, so make sure to check her face before you fuck her in 10 years
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2006-07-17 18:59:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
though she had a baby really young, so who knows where that skank has been
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2006-07-17 18:59:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
the kid, not her mom.
you could probably do the mom right now
Submitted by Zoidberg (user info) at 2006-07-17 18:58:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
10 more years and she's fuckable
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-07-17 18:48:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I must say, a far better version of events are here... http://www.ubersite.com/m/90587
Submitted by pragmatic (user info) at 2006-07-17 18:40:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I really feel for you in this situation.
I have a friend who is with a guy who has a child from a previous relationship. She's pregnant with his child, and the kid from the previous relationship only stays over one night every fortnight, yet that child has the biggest bedroom, the most toys, ALL the attention ALL the time, and if she asks for any attention for herself or their as yet unborn wee girl, he gets shitty.
That said, he's an asshole and I have no idea what she's doing with him.
It's diificult.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-07-17 18:27:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-07-17 16:45:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
Depends on the chick and the kid.
I'm hypocritical - I would never date a guy with a kid, unless he has them full time. If the kids a little demon spawn because the mom lets him, the dad won't be able to do damage control every weekend.
So I would have to say to follow Shlongy's advice.
I agree with me.
Oh, and with Peon.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-07-17 18:23:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Kaos, how old is the kid? That often determines how easy the relationship's going to be. Small children think in binary. A baby for example (I read this in one of my college psych books) doesn't believe you exist if it can't see you, but the relationship's easy as it doesn't really care what your role is in the family as long as it gets fed.
3-7 year olds are harder as they don't see their mother as another person, but as a force of nature. Mom doesn't have boyfriends; she exists to take care of their needs. You start competing for her attention, and they'll do what any good animal will to defend its territory; take you down. The ones who DO want to see you as a daddy are often worse. They don't understand the concept of dating, and don't realize that it may not be in your or the mother's (or their) best interests for you to stay around.
WARNING: Look out for the moms who try to use their children as leverage. If, in the first few months, you hear ANYTHING along the lines of "little Chuckie just called you daddy," or (in an argument) "how would you like it if I told Janie-poo you said that," run, don't walk, to the nearest exist. Any woman who will use their child for their own gain is a sick, sick bitch.
12-14 year olds are generally pretty easy to deal with as they'd rather have their mom occupied while they go off and make pipe bombs in the basement.
Submitted by Istaros (user info) at 2006-07-17 17:47:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Cross the bridge when it gets there, dude. Trust me."
yep.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-07-17 16:52:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ah, dude, you're probably going to hate me for this - but it was too irrestible...it had to be done.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/90587
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-07-17 16:45:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Depends on the chick and the kid.
I'm hypocritical - I would never date a guy with a kid, unless he has them full time. If the kids a little demon spawn because the mom lets him, the dad won't be able to do damage control every weekend.
So I would have to say to follow Shlongy's advice.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-07-17 16:27:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i still say run while you can.
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-07-17 16:24:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I would DEFINATLEY date a woman with a kid. Go for it man, you could be the best thing to happen to her. Unless you are gonna try to rape her in the ass, then I would say make sure her kid is in the room...
What??
Submitted by mockidol (user info) at 2006-07-17 16:23:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dating a woman with a child is okay...
1) Only do it if you are serious
2) Don't get too attached to the child until you are positive things are working out
a) It can be hard if you fall in love with the kid, and the kid you
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2006-07-17 16:11:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
And another thing, watch out for women with children that want to move things quickly. Sure, you're 30 or some shit but even at that age a nice ass and a blowjob will twist your thoughts on the issue and you'll find yourself signing a rental agreement for an apartment or co-signing a loan for a car. The kid thing is A LOT heavier than you're seeing. At face value she's what? Hot, got a kid, seems to be willing to give you a chance and seems to take care of her daughter just fine without you. What's below the surface is this: insecurity via single parentage(?) and abandonment from the sperm donor even if it's denied; a wanting for shared responsibility at some point because she's probably tired of all the bullshit life can throw at a single parent; security in another's arms that could be financial, paternal or emotional; a need for a proper role model for the child even though that role model will always be them regardless of what's verbalized about you and your meager attempts; and of course, the need for finality or knowing where she'll be for the rest of her life. The latter will, of course, force her to speed things up with many men, including yourself.
And as stated before, She might be hot but someone somewhere is tired of her shit.
Plus her vagina might be completely fucked up from the birthing process and sex will never be satisfying and could possibly be painful. And she might have a little scar where they had to cut her from butthole to vagina in order to enlargen the canal. And stretch marks. Don't forget stretch marks.
There's a lot below the surface you won't see until you jump in, young Padiwan.
Oh yeah, hide your faggish Comic Book collection. She'll never take you seriously after she sees it. Well, that and your tiny dick.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-17 16:02:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Watch Jerry Mcguire alot.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-07-17 15:48:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2006-07-17 15:07:03 (#)
Ranking: 0
One more thing, never have sex in the same bed that the kid's sleeping in....
---------------------------------
Dear God, now THAT'S just not RIGHT....
Just remember, while you're banging HER, one of your teenage daughters is probably getting fingerbanged at the fair behind the Tilt-a-Whirl by a carnie.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-07-17 15:44:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i'm with scourge
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-07-17 15:44:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you will get attached to that child most likely. people fall in love with kids and sometimes not the parents. that'll make it hard if you guys fail as a couple. the child will probably fall in love with you if you spend any length of time together. especially if she doesn't have a daddy, being a girl she'll look to you for protection if you get in a long term relationship. not having a daddy or having a daddy that doesn't want them or says one thing and does another confuses little girls. trust me on that one.
be careful. i'd say don't risk it but then again i'm once bitten twice shy.
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-07-17 15:43:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
And as far as dating a single mother goes, only etiquette I'm aware of is you better respect that the kid's going to come first in just about every circumstance. If you are mature enough to be on the backburner every now and then, good for you. But don't lie to yourself.
Good luck.
Submitted by Girlwithaclue (user info) at 2006-07-17 15:43:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I am a single parent with 2 kids....
I agree with both Corn Nugget and Wildcat!
When I start dating someone, I usually do not introduce him to my kids unless I think it is going somewhere. That is definitely something left up to each individual mom.
I would if I were you treat the little girl like you would one of your friends children. You don't want to act like a "father" too soon if ever. She has a daddy and your job in her life will be to take care of "mommy". If she see's that you love her mom and take care of her she will grow to like you differently as time goes on...
As far as discipline goes....leave that up to mommy if she is in the room. Never discipline her daughter with her standing right there. That is her job and she will appreciate you allowing her to do her job as she see's fit. Try not to comment too much if you don't agree with her parenting style, that will only cause problems.
Otherwise basically treat the "mommy" like any other girl you have dated. We really don't want any special considerations for being a parent.
We can be the best girlfriends because we know how to look after other people already!!
All we want is to be loved!
Good Luck!
Jeannie
Submitted by Unabonger (user info) at 2006-07-17 15:41:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
this should be titled "How do I date a girl with a bayfriend and a kid?"
You're setting yourself up for serious disappointment, I'm afraid. If she didn't kick you the puss and you only gave her a kiss on the cheek, why read so much into it? Do what you do, it is what it is. You shouldn't have reservations about dating a girl with a kid you should have reservations about becoming interested in a girl with a boyfriend.
In addition, if she was your girlfriend and she went an hour away and slept in the same bed with another guy (regardless of the fact that nothing happened) why would you want to have a girlfriend like that? You'll be taking his headache and dealing with it yourself.
Remember, kiddos, no matter how hot a girl is, someone, somewhere, is sick of her shit.
I'm not trying to say she's not a great person but you're being overly analytical. It was a friendly visit, nothing more. If she moves up there it still means nothing. When she leaves her man, it's still nothing. It's nothing until you guys discuss being together intimately. Cross the bridge when it gets there, dude. Trust me.
+2
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-17 15:40:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2006-07-17 15:07:03 (#)
Ranking: 0
One more thing, never have sex in the same bed that the kid's sleeping in, even if it is a really big bed and it was dark and there was nowhere else to go and the kid's sleeping on the other side by the wall and his mom and I were in the 'zone'...........
uh.........
Yeah, just take my word. When a little hand touches your shoulder during the course of banging his Mom, your dick even gets goosebumps
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DUDE
That's just plain wrong.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-07-17 15:37:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2006-07-17 15:19:52 (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2006-07-17 14:29:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
I was with a woman that had a kid for 4 years. No matter what any of them say, there's always going to be something in between you that will either be a driving wedge or a standing wedge, namely the kid. No matter what, it will always be there. As much as you might think you have good intentions, single mothers never let go and share parentship(?) with anyone else. She might even say one day that she thinks you are the best man in their child's life, but there will be other times when your clash of opinions finds itself surrounding the raising of the child. In these instances, the lines that were drawn the day she had the child and you weren't the father will be amazingly clear. Sometimes there's good times, sometimes there's bad times. You'll always be second or third on the list of priorities when a kid is around that's not yours. When bad things come to pass, her and the kid will come first regardless of your hard work and kindness over the years.
It's your life, do what the fuck you want. All women have fucking baggage these days, a kid is just one of the heavier ones.
=========================
I agree with Wildcat.
Also, you must show consideration of the child. Mom can't always find a babysitter. You should be considerate and show that you understand they come as a package deal, and that you WANT to include the child. Plan activities where you can all three play together, such as going swimming at the lake, frisbee in the park, etc.
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seconded.
ESPECIALLY this part
"You'll always be second or third on the list of priorities when a kid is around that's not yours."
Just remember, she's looking for a meal ticket for her and her kid - never EVER lose sight of that. If you just so happen to get what you want in the process, she's okay with that.
Just keep your distance for a while, especially if she's looking to relocate closer to you - it makes for an easier commute to her new 'job'.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-07-17 15:36:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Advice: RUN.
now.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-07-17 15:33:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I only have observational experience here- from watching my friends and the parents of the kids I teach. My advice is to have fun with the girl for a while before you get the kid involved, and decide if you want something serious or just fun before anyone get the wrong idea.
Good Luck!
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2006-07-17 15:29:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
again, my appologies. +2
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2006-07-17 15:29:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oops, I wanted to give you a +2 for the balls you took in writing all this.
Submitted by sideshow (user info) at 2006-07-17 15:28:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If she's worth it, then giver. If not, get the hell outta dodge before you get attached to either of them.
I've never done it myself, but both my parents divorced and remarried and so on. I also have sisters that have kids with more than one guy....so they seem to be able to find love after a serious relationship with kids.
Be your own judge and live your life with no regrets.
Submitted by GodChicken (user info) at 2006-07-17 15:19:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2006-07-17 14:29:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
I was with a woman that had a kid for 4 years. No matter what any of them say, there's always going to be something in between you that will either be a driving wedge or a standing wedge, namely the kid. No matter what, it will always be there. As much as you might think you have good intentions, single mothers never let go and share parentship(?) with anyone else. She might even say one day that she thinks you are the best man in their child's life, but there will be other times when your clash of opinions finds itself surrounding the raising of the child. In these instances, the lines that were drawn the day she had the child and you weren't the father will be amazingly clear. Sometimes there's good times, sometimes there's bad times. You'll always be second or third on the list of priorities when a kid is around that's not yours. When bad things come to pass, her and the kid will come first regardless of your hard work and kindness over the years.
It's your life, do what the fuck you want. All women have fucking baggage these days, a kid is just one of the heavier ones.
=========================
I agree with Wildcat.
Also, you must show consideration of the child. Mom can't always find a babysitter. You should be considerate and show that you understand they come as a package deal, and that you WANT to include the child. Plan activities where you can all three play together, such as going swimming at the lake, frisbee in the park, etc.
Fastest way to getting laid on a regular basis, hands down.
Submitted by A_D_Sweetmeat (user info) at 2006-07-17 15:13:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why the hell do you want used goods?
You know the concept of baggage? Multiply that by a million.
Same thing goes for chicks who were married and chicks with fake tits. None of those three groups has any idea of how to survive in this world.
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2006-07-17 15:07:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
One more thing, never have sex in the same bed that the kid's sleeping in, even if it is a really big bed and it was dark and there was nowhere else to go and the kid's sleeping on the other side by the wall and his mom and I were in the 'zone'...........
uh.........
Yeah, just take my word. When a little hand touches your shoulder during the course of banging his Mom, your dick even gets goosebumps.
Submitted by LovelyLady (user info) at 2006-07-17 15:01:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Being a mommy of a little girl, I would recomend if things get serious to not discipline the little girl. But do try and make friends with the little girl. Showing a woman you care about who has a major interest (daughter) it's nice to try and share the interest as best you can. Like after dating for awhile possibly take them both on a date, i.e. Chucky Cheese (if you have one), a pizza place or just for icecream. Hope this helps a bit.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-07-17 14:58:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd sooner date a woman with a penis.
Submitted by dove666 (user info) at 2006-07-17 14:44:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
You have to love 'em both, or don't bother.
Submitted by GetNakeddd (user info) at 2006-07-17 14:39:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Let me just preface this by saying that I admire that you actually ask for advice on Uber (a veteran perk, I'm sure) and you're a fantastic writer.
I used to date a guy with a 3-year-old son, on top of a 5 year age difference. It might be, due to an inherent cattiness in women, that there was some feigned niceties on the mother's part. I'm not sure how the dynamic changes when it's a guy dating a woman with a child.
The only advice I can offer is to bite your tongue unless your advice is requested and to never come between the mother and father. It causes all types of hell, let me tell you. Five-year-old girls, when raised correctly, are the cutest things ever, so don't get attached too soon if you do pursue something with the mother.
Good luck!
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2006-07-17 14:38:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If Berty spots this, he'll eat it up.
Submitted by retrospect (user info) at 2006-07-17 14:37:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
you should probably continue dating girls the way you always have... DRUG INDUCED DILLUSION
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2006-07-17 14:34:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
AH and what Wildcat says is true.
I'm always told I'm the boys "mother", he calls me mommy-corinne... and I'm told I'm the best woman he's had in his life, etc... but when it comes down to certian parenting decisions or any disagreement about the kid I do hear, "He's MY son" and "I don't need your opinion when it comes to how I discipline MY son".
To which my answer is, "That's a load of crap". And then he says he's sorry, and the argument ends... but I do think on some level the boy will always be HIS son.
I even feel that way. I love the boy and I treat him as if he were mine, but he's not MINE. When I have my kid I know I'll feel different about motherhood.
Which is worrysome in itself but oh well.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-07-17 14:33:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
A better question - how do you do a woman as she's having a kid?
Submitted by corn_nugget (user info) at 2006-07-17 14:31:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
That's a nice story... that's a "feel good" situation, for sure.
Most of the anxiety and planning is on the moms end, not yours. She's responsible for protecting her child and making sure she doesn't confuse him or whatever. As far as going on dates, she can find a babysitter.
Just make sure you wait a while before meeting the kid. It's just confusing and annoying if you meet the kid and then shortly thereafter realize you don't like the chick as much as you thought, because guilt trips come in to play at that point.
I've dated a few guys with kids. I met one guys kids WAY too early and it fucked everything up because suddenly the guy was trying to transition me into the mother role or something.
The next guy I dated with a kid didn't want us to meet until we were both sure of the relationship, which was PERFECTLY FINE with me. I dated that guy for a few months, never met the kid, and it was no big deal.
My boyfriend now has a 3 year old. He has full custody. I met his son about a month after we began dating, but at that point we knew we were pretty serious about each other, so it was no big deal.
And now we live together, my boyfriend, his son and I.
ANYWAY I'm fucking rambling.
The main point is leave everything up to her as far as the kid goes, just don't let yourself feel pressured into anything.
BYE
Submitted by WildcatMcGee (user info) at 2006-07-17 14:29:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was with a woman that had a kid for 4 years. No matter what any of them say, there's always going to be something in between you that will either be a driving wedge or a standing wedge, namely the kid. No matter what, it will always be there. As much as you might think you have good intentions, single mothers never let go and share parentship(?) with anyone else. She might even say one day that she thinks you are the best man in their child's life, but there will be other times when your clash of opinions finds itself surrounding the raising of the child. In these instances, the lines that were drawn the day she had the child and you weren't the father will be amazingly clear. Sometimes there's good times, sometimes there's bad times. You'll always be second or third on the list of priorities when a kid is around that's not yours. When bad things come to pass, her and the kid will come first regardless of your hard work and kindness over the years.
It's your life, do what the fuck you want. All women have fucking baggage these days, a kid is just one of the heavier ones.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-07-17 14:27:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Great question, I was thinking the same thing last night when I was hanging out with this incredible artist that has a 2 year old. She has really big boobies, and I like that about her.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-07-17 14:24:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I did that for a while.
Working in the business that I've been in for years, I had access to lots of free tickets to stuff.
So the dating went along the lines of this.
Harlem Globetrotters with the broad and the kid. Monster Truck Pull with the broad and the kid. Ballgame, with the broad and the kid. Darien Lake Amusement Park with the broad and the kid. Etc.
Then, after filling the kid full of cotton candy, soda, and chocolate, we'd go back to her house, toss the kid in bed, drink heavily...do lines off of her titties, and than I'd bang the shit out of her.
And leave.
You're welcome.
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2006-07-17 14:23:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Treat her the same as any other woman without a kid, shes not expecting you to be the childs father, just dont go overboard trying to be best friends with the little girl. She'll deal with baby sitters and kid things, and if it gets more serious then you can worry about how to get along with her child.
Submitted by HadToBeDone (user info) at 2006-07-17 14:23:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It isn't much different than dating a girl without one.
Just don't nail her in the kid's bed.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-17 14:19:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I've been sleeping with a women with a kid. It's pretty hot.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-07-17 14:16:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
depends on which one wants the bone first I suppose.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-07-17 14:15:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'd say ask Caul, but I don't know if he's still with that girl anymore.
I haven't read his latest my(Uber)space entries...