My Gal Goiter (1162 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: handicapable_women
Rating: 1.75 on 39 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Orgasmatron (View user info) at 2006-07-18 13:41:00 EDT
O darling love, remove that scarf and set your goiter free
And bare for me that thyroid that I've waited long to see,
Your profile on match.com, no justice does it do
For this, the large and sexy gland that truly makes you "you"
Come now, baby, don't be scared - it's me, please don't be shy
You know the goiter turns me on, don't keep it from my eyes,
Perhaps the dinner table isn't right for such a show
So hurry up and eat so we can call a cab and go.
I want to get you back to my place, somewhere more remote
Where, with any luck, you'll be a dear and show your throat,
I want to see it jiggle when you giggle at my wit
And maybe later get undressed and have some fun with it.
I care not if it came from too much hormone or a lack
For either way you've grown this lovely under-chin ballsack,
I wonder...if we keep your diet free of iodine
Will it continue growing? Dearest, that would be divine!
I know that you have loved and lost and suffered pain before
From men who called you Bullfrog Girl, but baby I implore
Please do not think me like them - where they saw "foul" I see "fair"
And tingle at the prospect of it touching me down there.
Just think of it - you on your back with me upon your chest
Straddling and sliding my hard wang between your breasts
Just like a pelican with mouthful of the salty sea
Your swollen neck would hold my love and keep it there for me.
So please, just take it easy, I will be your loving man
If you, of course, will let me, I will do the best I can
To honor you and cherish everything you are about
For you're the one, my goiter girl, I cannot live without.
User Reviews
Submitted by snagglepuss (user info) at 2006-07-19 14:06:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My lips did loiter upon her goiter,
Sweetly sucking the monstrous struma
(Like rotten meat to a love-sick puma);
Puckering to produce a prodigious hickey,
'Twas hard on the outside, inside sticky.
O seductive iodine-bereft gland,
Lonely orphan of hypothyroidism-
Release your tumor to my caressing hand,
And your bulging neck to my ropey jism.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-07-19 10:17:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Mmm...goiter: http://headholes.org/images/goiter.jpg
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-07-19 07:58:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-07-18 22:48:35 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-07-18 19:24:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
rrrrrrribbit
---
So you're one of her ex boyfriends, huh?
_____________
:(
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2006-07-19 00:03:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-07-18 19:33:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
Your poetry is sent from whence no man has ever seen
'whence' means 'from where' you redundant pussy-cunt.
Submitted by Yams (user info) at 2006-07-18 23:06:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well that's strange.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-07-18 22:55:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
DAMN
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-07-18 22:48:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-07-18 19:24:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
rrrrrrribbit
---
So you're one of her ex boyfriends, huh?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-18 22:19:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I didn't have time to stretch first. Ow.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-18 22:18:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You must have misheard me, Bubba. I said "Jewel".
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-07-18 19:33:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I could call you dipshit, geek, or rhyming crazy fool
But Sac would jump right back at me and tell me I'm a tool
Your poetry is sent from whence no man has ever seen
So go a little farther South and write about a spleen. :)
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-07-18 19:24:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
rrrrrrribbit
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-07-18 19:03:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ew.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-07-18 18:41:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/84397
Submitted by whysenheimer (user info) at 2006-07-18 18:15:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Worth reading.
Submitted by Samo (user info) at 2006-07-18 17:49:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So let me try before I judge to match this posts content,
and sort it out inside my head what is my hidden intent,
when I give it something just below its deserving 2
plus. why, what could it be, poem, that leaves me hating you so?
"Jealousy" a voice! it speaks from its deepness in my soul,
I wonder if it could be this which gains its sickly hold
while I scan, grimacing, each day your easy flowing posts,
and hurl in a cup as your voice justifiably boasts.
Oh well truth sucks. Reluctant 2+
Submitted by MyTeeOne (user info) at 2006-07-18 17:31:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You're special
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-07-18 17:13:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It's a love story fit for a Dervel
Submitted by ahumblefool (user info) at 2006-07-18 16:18:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
O - damn! What else can be said. Who else on this site could write poetry about someone's goit.
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-07-18 16:09:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ewww
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-07-18 16:06:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-07-18 16:04:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
goitastic!
---
*readies AMPAM machine*
Submitted by MistressFist (user info) at 2006-07-18 16:04:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
goitastic!
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-07-18 15:32:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
its an inflatable goiter
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-18 15:05:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-07-18 14:55:51 (#)
Ranking: 2
don't worry, it's not your penis that incites a riot in my throat, it's your poetry and imagination.
======
Not me.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-07-18 14:55:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
don't worry, it's not your penis that incites a riot in my throat, it's your poetry and imagination.
Submitted by IamNotTheWorldTradeCenter (user info) at 2006-07-18 14:53:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i know i didn't have time to do it justice but i could resist such a money title.
goiter-nation loves you.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-07-18 14:44:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
....
Submitted by Dexter-Brown (user info) at 2006-07-18 14:41:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I see the bottle of cognac but having a hard time seeing the goiter girls about to kiss.
<b>
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-07-18 14:33:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Work on suppressing the gag reflex, deepy.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-07-18 14:31:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
you frighten me and fill me with awe. but then i usually throw up a little.
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-07-18 14:15:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-07-18 14:10:25 (#)
Ranking: 2
Tsk tsk.
---
Sorry, but I had to help this guy out: http://www.ubersite.com/m/90620
The Orgasmatron lives to inform.
And to recount tales of his equal opportunity dating experiences.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-07-18 14:15:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
under-chin ballsack +2
Submitted by bleuluna (user info) at 2006-07-18 14:15:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Awww...
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-07-18 14:10:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Tsk tsk.
Submitted by copsucker (user info) at 2006-07-18 13:57:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
That was very, very creative!
Submitted by Amontillado (user info) at 2006-07-18 13:57:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I have no idea what to say to this.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-07-18 13:55:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
O-tron, I hate poetry and you make me want to keep reading. Very well, bravo I say.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-18 13:46:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Your equal-opportunity writings always touch my heart.
I love your love. mmm..salty.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-18 13:44:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-07-18 13:42:02 (#)
Ranking: 2
Have a +2 for this:
http://edition.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/asiapcf/07/18/mumbai.blasts/index.html
"Mumbai mourns its '7/11' victims"
AHAHAHAHAHA 7/11
---
Thank you. Come again.
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-07-18 13:42:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Have a +2 for this:
http://edition.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/asiapcf/07/18/mumbai.blasts/index.html
"Mumbai mourns its '7/11' victims"
AHAHAHAHAHA 7/11
AHAHAHAHAHA
DOES ANYONE READ THE HEADLINES BEFORE THEY POST THE ARTICLE.
HA