Cereal...err Serious Retribution- Part 1 (805 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: cereal_retribution
Rating: 1.93 on 22 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by awesomeface (View user info) at 2006-07-18 15:30:18 EDT
The Trix rabbit sat at the murky basement table with nothing but a cheap light dangling overhead. He had called together a meeting and it was about time they had done something about it. Lucky the Leprechaun sat across from him twirling a golden coin. Next to him was Officer Crumb staring at an empty box of Cookie Crisp. Fred Flintstone stood above the table with arms folded.
"Little fucks." Growled Trix. "Trix aren't just for kids." He said while slamming a knife into the table on top of a picture of a child who often stole his cereal.
"They are MY Lucky Charms! I can't stop all of them." Said Lucky.
"Ill gets that dog. If I here him say COOOOKIE CRISP one more time." Officer Crumb said quenching his fist.
"Barney Rubble! Not only does he take my Fruity Pebbles, he can't even spare the god damn chocolate ones either." Said Flinstone turning red.
"Something needs to be done." Murmured Trix. "I called all of you here today because you are victims. Victims of the damned serial cereal stealers! Alone we could never stop those thieves. Together we are mighty! Too long have we sponsored cereals we were never allowed to eat. I have had enough!"
"Bwhahahahahaha!" The villains laughed as it started to thunder and rain in the basement.
"What the hell?" Exclaimed Trix. "How is it raining? We are in the basement!"
"Ive never done this villain thing before. Does it always have to rain when we laugh?" Asked Fred.
"I guess so. Ok guys no more laughing unless we are outside. My basement is fucked now."
"Got ya boss."
-
"Man this shit is good." Awesome Face said while crunching down on some Lucky Charms.
"Yeah mean, good shit." Fungah mumbled. The two esteemed colleagues sat at the breakfast table getting ready for work. Just then the door burst open. In came in the Trix Rabbit, Lucky, Fred Flintstone, and Officer Crumb.
"Hand over the charms bitch!" Trix said flipping out a butterfly knife perfectly.
"Not a chance!" Awesome Face snapped also flipping out a butterfly knife but cutting himself. "Son of a bitch! I cut my wrist!"
"Ha ha emo!" Laughed Fungah.
"Shut up. Help me out here."
"Oh yeah." Fungah flipped out his Maracas and shook his hips.
"The hell are you doing?"
"I'm gunna dance these bitches to death."
"Ok you do that." Awesome Face said while lunging forward at the four crooks. The fight ensued and Awesome Face was repeatedly beaten, punched and stabbed. All the while Fungah was dancing with the maracas.
"Eat this!" Fungah roared shaking both instruments of doom at once. Completely ignoring the dancing fool Lucky went to grab Fungahs cereal. "I don't think so." Fungah brought the maraca over Luckys head knocking him out cold.
"Just grab the box! Leave the bowls!" Trix commanded. The cereal gang made off with Awesome Faces and Fungahs box.
"Those bastards." Awesome Face groaned while getting up. His stab wounds were still apparent but he could still function.
"Dude, you suck with a knife." Claimed Fungah.
"Shut up you dancing fool. We have to warn everyone else. The Trix Rabbit was in that gang. They will probably go for that cereal next. Who do we know who eats Trix?"
"LSD and The Bosh Man love that shit. They smoke it too."
"Hurry! We need to get to their house before they do."
"Ill start up the Hippo."
"Do we have to ride the Hippo? Why can't we just take the car?"
"You don't have insurance."
"Do I have to wear the Ninja Turtle costume?"
"Don't even ask." He said while throwing the costume to Awesome Face. Fungah started the Hippo and they were off to LSD and The Bosh Mans house. When they arrived smoke was coming from the windows.
"Good god they set the place of fire!" Awesome Face exclaimed.
"They are nothing more than cereal arsonist. Let us save our friends from fiery fire!" Awesome Face and Fungah dove through the window in Rafael and Donatello costumes to find Bosh and LSD smoking Trix. "Heavens sake we thought you were on fire."
"Being on fire is for pussy cry baby geezers who play the banjo." Bosh said while whipping Earl Scruggs tied to a poll and dress in full bondage and a rubber ball in his mouth. "Yeah he likes that." LSD jumped onto the table in a Mario costume yelling.
"FROOSH!" He jumped immediately falling flat on the floor. Bosh lit up a cigarette and nodded in agreement. "I forgot that Sonic does not froosh." Just then the front door burst open much like at Awesome and Fungahs house. The four walked in with the same manner that they did before.
"What? You two again?" Trix said rolling his eyes.
"That's right! I learned some new moves too." Fungah said pulling out his maracas once more.
"Fungah I don't think dancing harms anybody."
"I'm not done yet." He replied while swinging his hips.
"I got an idea!" Interrupted LSD. "We can take the foreman from the bubble wrap factory, make him chew bubble gum and fly away like Zelda!!!"
"I gotta smoke me some Trix man." Awesome Face commented. "Whatever, lets get them!"
Awesome Face lunged forward with the butterfly knife once again getting the crap kicked out of him and receiving several more stab wounds. Fungah began to dance, Bosh took an entire jumbo carton of cigarettes and started smoking the entire carton without even taking them out of the wrapper. LSD began to masturbate furiously and once again Awesome Face lay half dead on the floor while the cereal gang stole their next box of cereal. When they left Awesome Face got up again bleeding even worse than before in the turtle suit.
"You guys suck." He groaned while they were still smoking, dancing, and masturbating.
"We gotta follow them! Back to the hippo and don't for forget your ninja turtle costumes."
So then Awesome Face, Fungah, LSD, and The Bosh Man set out in full Ninja Turtle gear to intercept the Cereal Gang.
-
Inspired by
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-07-12 15:46:44 (#)
Ranking: 2
Whenever you saw the trix rabbit on TV getting robbed by the kids, didn't you just want to slap those little brats? I did.
-
Look hes choking them!
User Reviews
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-09-02 16:28:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
We HAVE to catch ManBearPig! I'm totally serial!
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2006-07-26 21:34:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Perfect execution.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-22 17:03:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
http://www.ubersite.com/m/84738#2067398
BASTARD.
I couldn't care less.
Submitted by HHH (user info) at 2006-07-20 07:47:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HOW DID I MISS THIS INSPIRED CHUNK OF GOD'S SMEGMA
Submitted by runswithscissors (user info) at 2006-07-19 16:48:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-18 20:30:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
Sweet.
I thought of this-
http://www.ubersite.com/m/84738
------------------------------------
ditto that
Submitted by MausMan (user info) at 2006-07-19 14:18:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Best coffeee ever!
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-07-18 23:51:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Errrrn cybor sexxors? Cybor sexxors is teh awesomeness.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-07-18 23:00:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Y HELO THAR BUTSEKS LOLOLOLOL Y HELLO AWESOME FACE WULD U LIEK 2 CYB0RSECKS???????????????????
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-07-18 23:00:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WEET
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-07-18 20:45:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Why is it always me ending streaks lately?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-18 20:30:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sweet.
I thought of this-
http://www.ubersite.com/m/84738
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-07-18 20:01:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you cant figure out where I work by reading the filename then you are no longer my friend.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-07-18 19:12:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sweet filename
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2006-07-18 18:52:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Dancing would totally be my reaction to a home invasion too. I'd probably put on a skirt first though. I'd have to look presentable.
Submitted by Fungah (user info) at 2006-07-18 18:50:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Oh fuck yes. Fungah gets a cameo, I'm coming up in the uber-world.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-07-18 17:05:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
CNN fucked up their sidekick list. They forgot about scruggs.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-07-18 16:51:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"Bwhahahahahaha!" The villains laughed as it started to thunder and rain in the basement.
"What the hell?" Exclaimed Trix. "How is it raining? We are in the basement!"
"Ive never done this villain thing before. Does it always have to rain when we laugh?" Asked Fred.
"I guess so. Ok guys no more laughing unless we are outside. My basement is fucked now."
"Got ya boss."
--
fuckin BOSH!!!
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-07-18 16:51:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahahahAHAHAHHAHAHAHhahahahhaAHAHhAhahahhahahahah
Submitted by Antioxident (user info) at 2006-07-18 16:36:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by loki (user info) at 2006-07-18 15:54:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I chuckled.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-07-18 15:53:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
hahahaha.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-07-18 15:31:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just lit up a cigarette and nodded in agreement