A Token for My Insertion: Part 1- Don't shit where you eat (1155 hits)
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Submitted by AJ <uberaj.at.gmail.com> (View user info) at 2006-07-18 21:58:35 EDT
If you ask any remorseful junkie when they started in with their addiction, they'll typically tell you, "when I was too young to know better."
Fuck all that.
If you ask me when I started in with my addiction, I'll tell you it's when I was finally old enough to see how the world really operates.
If you ask a junkie, "would you do it all over again?" they'll typically give you a sob-ridden declination.
Fuck that, too. Junkies are losers. Apologists. I make no apologies.
If you ask a junkie whether they'd still be hooked if they hadn't gotten caught, they'll stammer some bullshit about trying to quit, getting help, or maybe, just maybe they'll own up and tell you the fucking truth for a change.
Fuck junkies.
If you ask a junkie why they did what they did, they'll tell you that it was a fucking trip to be sure.
Finally, we're getting somewhere...
***
I made my first score when I was 14 years old. And lord knows why it took me so long. Like most, my best friend was the one who introduced me into my brand-new world. My step-dad was out of town, summer of 1998. I wanted a pack of basketball cards. Seems a stupid way to break in, but ya gotta start somewhere.
$2.50. Most rational people wouldn't beat their children with an extension cord over $2.50, but my family is anything but rational. I understood, though. They were, after all, his cans. They chop off hands for sums a tenth of what I stole for... basketball cards. It still makes me laugh to this day when I think about the red marks and the limping and bruises... and the only good thing I got out of it was a Jerry Stackhouse card.
A week of laying on my stomach for an NBA journeyman. I can't beat myself up too badly, though... it taught me the first of many important rules when competing in this business.
1) Don't shit where you eat.
TBC...
User Reviews
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-07-05 11:11:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/90645#2065533
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2007-07-03 19:36:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
AJ, I blame you for what transpired.
Submitted by nrduncan (user info) at 2006-07-27 14:14:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Before you start using the big words thinking you know what they mean, you might want to look them up first.
An apologist is not someone who makes aplogies.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apologists
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-24 19:44:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Not much time left to kick her out, she's only living with me for another month
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-07-22 15:40:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"A week of laying on my stomach for an NBA journeyman. I can't beat myself up too badly, though..."
Yea, because daddy already did it for you.
This was painfully boring.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-22 15:26:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
In reference to the 12th comment on this post.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-22 10:56:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I've started the ball rolling for that one thing
Submitted by HHH (user info) at 2006-07-19 20:00:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHAHAHAHA gud pAROndies !!1!1111111
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-07-19 19:49:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Go steal at Walmart now, anything under $25, they let you have for free.
Submitted by JDL (user info) at 2006-07-19 13:05:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Fuck junkies.
Submitted by Slighty_Obnoxious (user info) at 2006-07-19 11:02:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-07-19 08:10:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-07-19 06:40:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Isn't this a repost? I just had a feeling it was all about studio apartments and then experienced deja vu.
Submitted by c1ndy (user info) at 2006-07-19 02:16:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-07-18 23:33:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-07-18 23:19:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.aldifoods.com/
This is one of many places to find grape drink.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-18 23:18:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=grape+drink
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-18 23:16:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
My favourite basketball twosome of all time was Tim Duncan and David Robinson. Though that's mostly because they were called the Twin Towers. Odd that I don't recall them ever being called that again after the 2000-2001 season.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-07-18 23:15:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
you people seriously don't know what grape drink is????
Good lord, am I the only one who grew up poor???
I'm desperately trying to find a webpage that shows a picture of grape drink, but I don't think Aldi has a website.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-18 23:11:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hah. She moved all of her stuff in, then went home for the week.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-07-18 23:05:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-07-18 22:38:54 (#)
Ranking: 0
I love it when stereotypes are fulfilled inadvertently.
My favorite was one time I was in the grocery store and a black woman with a couple kids asked some poor teenager where the grape drink was. He led her to the grape juice and she flipped out on him.
Classic.
-----
???
Don't get it...wine?
Submitted by guiness (user info) at 2006-07-18 23:03:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
LINKWHORE: http://www.ubersite.com/m/90634
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2006-07-18 22:59:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
the same thing thats happening/happened to basketball, is happening to other sports as well, like rugby for example. gone are the days of sportsmen, like bird, or isiah thomas etc, now the game is just athletes. 6'10" point guards who can run and jump out of the gym. it all pretty much started with players like my favourite player of all time (until the last years of his career, that ive blocked from my mind) - shawn kemp. a tall, freakish athlete that beat people because he was just so much more athletic, and not necessarily 'better'.
in rugby its similar. ball-playing, skillful backs are moving aside for guys that are 6'4" and weigh 100kgs (about 220 lbs). these are supposed to be the small, fast guys on the team and theyre just fucking monsters that crash through tackles and offload to an equally big guy to do the same. basically rugby is turning into NFL. a shitload of huge freaks surround one small guy that does all the passing.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-07-18 22:58:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It WAS Webber. He's always been a cunt.
I came into work with the intention of filling out comission forms and now I've gotten roped into discussions on racial issues, basketball, and the rules of Ubersite.
=(
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-18 22:55:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I'm one of the last few basketball fans :(
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-07-18 22:50:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Basketball is turning into a crap sport now. Like boxing. I wish we could replace basketball with soccer or rugby and basketball with mainstream UFC.
Although I was completely pissed off following the last UFC PPV. Such a weak card. I maintained that if they didn't have a griffin-bonnar rematch for the next PPV I was going to boycott it. They fucking read my mind.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-18 22:49:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You are thinking Webber. Stackhouse played for Dallas this season.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-18 22:47:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
In one year in the league less than Stackhous, Iverson has taken 4,500 more shots. I think building around Stackhouse at the 2-3 shooting the ball whenever he touched it would have been better for Philly than having Iverson at the 1 shoot it whenever he touched it.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-07-18 22:45:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=grape+drink
Iverson IS way better than Stackhouse, but they're both cunts. Didn't they both sit out the last game of the season when they knew the playoffs weren't on the line?
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2006-07-18 22:43:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i dont get that one. it must be one of them irony-less american jokes that we english-speakers stopped telling in the 1600's.
iverson is way better than stack.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-18 22:40:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I wonder how Philly would have turned out if they had lept Stack instead of Iverson
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-07-18 22:39:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I think he hasn't fulfilled that potential because he pulls his socks up too high.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-07-18 22:38:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I love it when stereotypes are fulfilled inadvertently.
My favorite was one time I was in the grocery store and a black woman with a couple kids asked some poor teenager where the grape drink was. He led her to the grape juice and she flipped out on him.
Classic.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2006-07-18 22:38:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
remember when he first hiot the legue and everyone was all 'next MJ' on him. even mj. thats a shitload of pressure, to be sure.
Submitted by blueboy (user info) at 2006-07-18 22:37:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Shhh.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-18 22:35:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Sigh. Jerry is an NBA journeyman isn't he?
Philly, Detroit, Washington, Dallas.
That's sad because he is one of the 10 best pistons players ever.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2006-07-18 22:34:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
no, she was real, honest-to-goodness fantapants irish. you think she'd be chowing down on any tater that wasnt jsut dug straight outta the ground?
i sniggered quite loudly when she said it, and i could just FEEL the evil stares boring into my back as i waited. there was a bunch of little leprechaun figurines and kid-eye-level near me, and i felt an overpowering urge to pick one up suggestively and make eye contact, but i hear tell them irish know lotsa ways to kill a man, armed only with their trusty tater, so i chose discretion.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-18 22:33:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-07-18 22:30:03 (#)
Ranking: 0
Are you going to screw her, ruin your relationship with your friend, and then kick her out?
Please?
----------------------
He just graduated and is leaving for cali, she still has another year here like I do. It's a possibility.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-07-18 22:30:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Are you going to screw her, ruin your relationship with your friend, and then kick her out?
Please?
Submitted by TigerLilly (user info) at 2006-07-18 22:29:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-18 22:28:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My friends girlfriend is moving in with me right now.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-18 22:26:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2LIVE
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-07-18 22:25:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hahahhahaa
Please tell me they were the kind that you peel off the plastic on the top, stir with a fork, and microwave in 90 seconds.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2006-07-18 22:24:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
well, to be honest i was stand in line at the supermarket just the other day and some irish chick behind me said to her equally irish friend:
"Ooh, I love taters!"
yeah, no shit you do.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-07-18 22:21:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Are there any other kinds?
Probably not in Iowa.
Submitted by iddqd (user info) at 2006-07-18 22:20:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"If you ask a junkie why they did what they did, they'll tell you that it was a fucking trip to be sure. "
that is, if that junkie happens to be an irish stereotype.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-07-18 22:16:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Depends how much bacon your roommates eat.
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-07-18 22:15:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
What about eating where I shit? Would that be kosher?
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-07-18 22:08:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hahaha
It's a parody, Jack.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-07-18 22:07:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Literature, ladies and gentlemen.
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-07-18 22:00:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
There, darko.