The Untold Gospel (580 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -0.31 on 28 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Aubrey <Aubs2o04.at.yahoo.com> (View user info) at 2006-07-19 13:20:17 EDT
Only having posted twice to this sight, both attempts were really sad as I look back over my posts. I expect the mass of -2's coming to me. I have no need to be in your little uber club of "cool people", it reminds me of high school (which I hated expect for all the fun drugs) Now getting that out of the way, this is post is the only reason I came here to begin with.
Any devote christens, or anyone that is set it whatever religion they are in might as well just view some other post. Anyone that is questioning religion, god, life, maybe you'll get an understanding of that today....
My name is Aubrey, I am no one special. I grew up in Michigan and now live in Arizona.
I came down here to escape everything; I was fed up with the shit and took off. At the time I thought I could do anything, I was going to live my life, my way. I knew I was a sinner and I knew I was going to hell, I had come to grips with that, and I didn't care. It's what I deserve.
I've been through every church you could think of Methodist, Catholic, Baptist, you name it, and every one of them made God something fake. God was a program, God was a little study book that you read once a day on the shitter to make yourself a better person. God was this all powerful being that would smite you if you didn't do so many hail marys a day, or if you didn't pray every night he would disowned you.
These are the things I was told as a child, I had to do all this in order to be alright with God, or face the consequences. I tried for awhile to read the bible, go to church, pray and all that, but it never felt like anything special, it didn't feel like I was talking to God, more like taking to the ceiling. The church I went to was always telling me things like "God sent his son to die for your sins... BUT you have to do this and this and this, so God will know your TRYING to be good."
After awhile I realized that it wasn't happening, I wasn't going to be "good", it seamed like the more I tried to be pleasing to God the more shit I got into, the more drugs I did and the more people I fucked around with. (Getting to the good part)
Then I came to Arizona and heard something I've never heard before... The truth. I wandered around for awhile until I found a church that simply said "Pleasant View", no Baptist, no Methodist, no name as to who they were affiliated with. Out of curiosity I sat down for service. I had three people come up and greet me with a hug; there were smiling and all they said was how happy they were that I had come.
Already this is a weird experience but I like that everyone is happy, unlike most churches I've been too. Then the sermon started. A man of about 50 years came to the podium; he said something that night that will stay with me forever. He started talking about Jesus, the son of God, and that God so loved us so much that he sent his son to save us. God knew that without the perfect life of his son there was no way that any of us could be right with him.
He went on to say that anything that we have ever done is filthy rags to God, and that even if we tried our entire life's to be a "good person" or to try and be "Christ like" we could never do it. But because Jesus came to the earth and lived a perfect life in place of our shit lives, we get to go free; we never have to face hell because he did it for us.
"Its not about you anymore, nothing you can do will ever make God happy, only his son will ever please him." I believe that, I know that I have a payment for sin. God isn't just some fucking program; he isn't just going to church everyday... It's a real relationship with a man that came down to earth to make sure that we don't get what we deserve... That's the only thing that will save anyone. It saved me.
User Reviews
Submitted by Foolproof (user info) at 2006-07-19 21:22:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
This is like Doogie typing at the end of episodes:
"Dear Diary..."
Shit.
Submitted by Average_Dan (user info) at 2006-07-19 20:35:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I would like to suggest to you, if you are trying to illustrate a point, it is easier to get across when it actually makes sense, and is literate. Learn how to write if you want to convince others of your ludicris beliefs, hell, that's what the author's of the Bible did.
Submitted by Darth_Famine (user info) at 2006-07-19 20:01:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fuck that Jesus was not perfect, he was married, and had kids and was just as fucked up as teh rest of us.
to beat it all
HE WAS A MAN!
That having been said, I am glad you finally found something to belive in.
Too bad its BS
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-07-19 18:33:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
And spell check didn't pick it up because they were real words... I ask a little effort from you. That is all.
Submitted by forthewin (user info) at 2006-07-19 18:33:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
So, yeah... Basically what this guy was saying is that God hates you, don't even try? And that's when it all came together for you?
Oooookay...
Submitted by Samo (user info) at 2006-07-19 18:17:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
a retaliatory 0 ladies and gentlemen.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-07-19 18:12:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
If you like Hunter S. Thompson, then drop a deuce on my post, not some shitty zero....making me look bad bigs, smalls, uppers, downers.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2006-07-19 16:53:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
i wish it had remained untold.
Submitted by Hypatia86 (user info) at 2006-07-19 16:42:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I hoped that at least this post would make people think for amoment, but apparently everyone is so shallow that they cant see past some bad grammer. You never get better unless you keep writing, and I intend to.
Submitted by Samo (user info) at 2006-07-19 16:09:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
A person might say, this is cool, post it and then the prolific reviewers say, this sucks, when in fact the poster is right. This happens occasionally, its a proven fact of the nature of the universe.
Submitted by Hypatia86 (user info) at 2006-07-19 15:59:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
haha, JonnyX thats funny, actually we are firing people in India. One question, Where do I work?
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-07-19 15:30:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Once again, here's Billy Mays...
HI I'M BILLY MAYS YOU MAY KNOW ME FROM THOSE OXICLEAN COMMERICIALS.
NOW I'M HERE ON UBERSITE TO TELL YOU HOW TO GET INTO THE UBERCLIQUE USING MY SECRET PATENTED FORMULA.
THAT'S RIGHT, ONLY I, BILLY MAYS, HAVE THE PROVEN SECRET FORMULA TO MAKE YOU ACCEPTED ON UBERSITE, AND I AM OFFERING IT TO YOU FOR ONLY 5 +2s!
AND THATS NOT ALL, AS A PART OF THIS LIMITED TIME OFFER, I WILL ALSO INCLUDE THE SECRET MANTRA OF SUCCESS TO MAKE YOU MANY MANY +2s ON ALL YOUR POSTS.
SEND YOUR +2s NOW TO:
SHLONGY'S HOUSE
1313 DIPSHIT LANE
MYRTLE BEACH SC 31331
OK, NOW ON TO THE SECRET FORMULA. ARE YOU READY? HERE IT IS...
POST SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T SUCK.
THAT'S IT MY FRIEND - THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO DO!
LET LISTEN TO SOME TESTIMONIALS...
v/o
Pentameter: "I started by posting humorous encounters of men who wanted to get in my pants! I made sure I used proper grammar, and spelling, and used humor to very good effect!"
Axolotl: "Even though I'm a young guy, I started my UberClique career by writing a gripping WW2 story - I used plot development and I made sure I developed my characters so that the reader cared to see what happened to them.
OK BILLY MAYS HERE AGAIN, WASN'T THAT INTERESTING? PROOF POSITIVE THAT JUST BECAUSE YOU JUST STARTED HERE, YOU CAN GET ACCEPTED RIGHT AWAY AND START GETTING +2s ON YOUR FIRST POST, ALL BECAUSE YOU FOLLOWED THE SECRET UBERCLIQUE FORMULA, POST SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T SUCK.
HOW TO TELL IF IT DOESN'T SUCK? TYPE IT OUT, BUT BEFORE YOU CLICK ON SUBMIT, SPELLCHECK IT, AND RE-READ IT. ASK YOURSELF THE QUESTION, DOES THIS SUCK? IF YOU SAY YES, CHANGE YOUR POST AND KEEP RE-WRITING UNTIL YOU CAN SAY, 'HEY, THIS DOESN'T SUCK'. ITS JUST THAT SIMPLE MY FRIEND.
AND NOW FOR THE SECRET UBERMANTRA I PROMISED AS PART OF THIS LIMITED TIME ONLY SPECIAL DEAL, READY?
HERE IT IS:
READ.
LEARN.
EVOLVE.
IF YOU FOLLOW THIS MANTRA IT WILL PROVIDE A PATH TO SUCKAGE-FREE POSTS AND A SEAT AT THE RIGHT HAND OF METHOD AND HIS MANY MINIONS...ALRIGHT, WE'RE OUT OF TIME FOLKS, THIS HAS BEEN BILLY MAYS FOR UBERSITE THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT!
Submitted by alwayspeach1 (user info) at 2006-07-19 15:11:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Enlightening.
Submitted by Hypatia86 (user info) at 2006-07-19 15:09:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thank you Samo.
Submitted by Samo (user info) at 2006-07-19 14:39:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I really needed to hear this post.
I like turning out the noise and reading posts like this, I understood what you were saying even though you made spelling mistakes. Odd.
Unfortunately my ratings don't work for some fucked up reason.
Submitted by proofofpurchase (user info) at 2006-07-19 14:26:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
You seem like a loner and I picture you looking like Macaulay Culkin.
I don't know why.
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-07-19 14:21:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
first bit there wreaked the post for me.
All i heard when i read that was:
My posts suck BLAH BLAH BLAH I dont need you BLAH BLAH BLAH but i am gonna so it anyways.
Submitted by Hypatia86 (user info) at 2006-07-19 13:49:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Why the fuck didnt spell ck pick up those >< oh well whatever...(used word spell ck)
Submitted by GetNakeddd (user info) at 2006-07-19 13:42:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
site not sight
devout not devote (unless u were trying to say devoteD)
After that I just clicked rate
P.S. - Arizona blows <3
Submitted by Hypatia86 (user info) at 2006-07-19 13:40:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
eh, never was to good with grammer, sad that everyone will probably just see my bad spelling insted of what I am trying to say probably should have looked over it better.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-07-19 13:38:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
your spelling says you're "special" to me.
eh, heard it before. goodluck with the nouveau crusade.
Submitted by apollo88 (user info) at 2006-07-19 13:34:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
'sight'
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-07-19 13:33:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Your point, yes.
Your presentation, nay. Get thee to a spellcheck and editor.
Submitted by Hypatia86 (user info) at 2006-07-19 13:32:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Thank you Orgasmatron, nice to hear someone understands where Im coming from.
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-07-19 13:29:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
whatever floats your boat,
babycakes!
namaste!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-07-19 13:29:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Agreed insomuch as if you take away the trappings of all the denominations and strip away the nonsense until you get to the message, and the personal relationship you should have with it, you're off to a good start with your faith.
Submitted by orph (user info) at 2006-07-19 13:28:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You're in a cult freak, get the fuck out before its too late...
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-19 13:28:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
You'd think after all the time you've spent in church that you'd know how to spell "Christian."