SPT: CaptainThorns Covers An 80's Hair Band! (819 hits)
Category: Sound & MusicLabels: captainthorns_music
Rating: 1.87 on 33 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by CaptainThorns (View user info) at 2006-07-20 08:24:58 EDT
I *so* wanted to do a vidwhore of this concept...but I couldn't find enough hairspray...or hair...to make myself look like C.C. or Ricky from Poison.
Be forewarned...this is TRULY some SPT material...a grand total of three hours spent on the whole thing...and with that in mind, enjoy!
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VERSE 1:
Their hands lie silently still
In the dead of the night
Although they chat online together
They feel miles apart inside
Was it something I said or something I did?
Did my words not come out right?
Though I tried not to hurt you
Though I tried
But I guess that's why they say:
CHORUS:
"Rate my post, Captain Thorns;
"Am I worthy of minus one?
"If you like it, will you turn it into an Uber song?
"Rate my post, Captain Thorns!"
Yeah, I will
VERSE 2:
He listens to his favorite song played in Uber media
Wished he'd taken the time before posting to check his encyclopedia
Oh, I wonder does he know
Has he ever felt like this
That I wouldn't be on Uber now
If I hadn't sung a song and taken a bow
Oh, yes
CHORUS
BRIDGE:
Though it's been a while now
I can still feel so much pain
Like a knife that cuts you, the rank heals
But the post, that post remains
SOLO
VERSE 3:
I know I could have wrote a poem that night
If I'd known what to say
Instead I sang a song
About some buttsecks with teh gheys
But now I hear you got somebody else to review
And that I never meant that much to you
To hear that tears me up inside
So I'll leave Uber now and just return to my life
I guess
CHORUS
Rate My Post Captain Thorns.mp3 (3 MB) [audio/mpeg]
User Reviews
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2006-07-20 20:34:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-07-20 16:47:16 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-07-20 16:06:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes!
Now to kidnap an old barber shop quartet and force them to record it. At gunpoint.
-----------------------
Oh, but you see, I have three hours all to myself tonight at home...keep your eyes peeled on Uber tomorrow!
btw, I'll keep her all night for an extra hundred.
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2006-07-20 20:18:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-07-20 19:26:25 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2006-07-20 16:55:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
I fucked your wife's ass while you were working on this. +2
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Yeah, I got the phone call from ADT security yesterday reporting the alarm on the bedroom window.
That, and Mrs. Thorns made me promise this morning "never again to send over the serial rapist with the 2" dick."
So the rent-a-cop got my sloppy seconds? Sweet.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-07-20 19:26:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2006-07-20 16:55:07 (#)
Ranking: 2
I fucked your wife's ass while you were working on this. +2
--------------------------------------------------------------
Yeah, I got the phone call from ADT security yesterday reporting the alarm on the bedroom window.
That, and Mrs. Thorns made me promise this morning "never again to send over the serial rapist with the 2" dick."
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2006-07-20 16:55:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I fucked your wife's ass while you were working on this. +2
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-07-20 16:47:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-07-20 16:06:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes!
Now to kidnap an old barber shop quartet and force them to record it. At gunpoint.
-----------------------
Oh, but you see, I have three hours all to myself tonight at home...keep your eyes peeled on Uber tomorrow!
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-07-20 16:14:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-07-20 16:06:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes!
Now to kidnap an old barber shop quartet and force them to record it. At gunpoint.
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fuck that, get the Cliches to do it, they're available...
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-07-20 16:06:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes!
Now to kidnap an old barber shop quartet and force them to record it. At gunpoint.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-07-20 15:51:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-07-20 14:17:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck theme songs, I want a radio jingle.
---------------------------------------
ASK AND YE SHALL RECEIVE:
If lack of peenar's got you down,
And ghola's nowhere to be found,
Then there's just one thing left to do -
Orgasmatron was meant for you!
[music continues playing in background]
[Sacrilious voice-over] "MMMMMM, Orgasmatron knows where the G-spot, er I mean the OHHH spot, is!"
[Scourge voice-over] "If I were gay, Orgasmatron would be the one for me!"
[JayPeg voice-over] "mmf mmf mmf jam mmf mmf OH GOD THAT HURTS! TAKE IT OUT OF MY ASS! mmf mff mff"
Orgasmatron! Orgasmatron!
Don't settle for less than the best!
Just strap him to your crotch and breasts -
Orgasmatron will do the rest!"
Submitted by The_taste_of_Monkeys (user info) at 2006-07-20 15:43:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is one of those posts that make this place look like a cult...Im just saying, I kinda like it that way
Submitted by hyprspacd (user info) at 2006-07-20 15:24:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Heh
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-07-20 15:22:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-20 14:11:00 (#)
Ranking: 2
If you're doing theme songs for people I'm going to have to ask that I get one as well.
------------------------------------
Scourge - how about an opera?
Running in line with our Uber personas, we can call it "The Pirates of Pen's Ass."
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-07-20 14:17:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck theme songs, I want a radio jingle.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-20 14:11:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
If you're doing theme songs for people I'm going to have to ask that I get one as well.
Regardless of what pff says, you are probably the most capable musician on this site. Something I'm rather envious of.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-07-20 13:59:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-07-20 13:13:54 (#)
Ranking: 2
You can actually sing and play guitar.
I want you to do a themesong for me. That'd be wicked. We would then, like, be superfriends.
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Consider it done...
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-07-20 13:15:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My favourite post of the day
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-07-20 13:13:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You can actually sing and play guitar.
I want you to do a themesong for me. That'd be wicked. We would then, like, be superfriends.
Submitted by strwbryfanatic (user info) at 2006-07-20 12:59:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
:D
Faaaantastic!
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-07-20 11:49:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-07-20 10:41:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Brett Michaels must really be on hard times if he decided to cover this song for you.
He sounds good, though. Real good.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-07-20 10:20:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://gabbly.com/www.ubersite.com
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-07-20 09:56:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Check your mail Thorns.
-Dave
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-07-20 09:32:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Another case of too much time on ones' hands.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2006-07-20 09:29:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
always a pleasure.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-20 09:24:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
"I guess" HAHAHA
Rarely does a song make me OMG LOL AND CRY EMO TEARS at teh same time.
You should have asked about hairspray- I still have a whole econosize can of AquaNet from the 80s party.
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-07-20 09:16:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Take another +2 as my iTunes just threw up "Shenanigan Pie" which made me laugh like a retard again.
-Dave
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-07-20 09:10:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
WOOT!
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-07-20 09:06:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
It might be the Southern Comfort talking, (don't laugh, I ran out of beer and money at the same time), but this was fantastic.
Gonna go and "aquire" me the original right now.
-Dave
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-07-20 09:01:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
PFF - do you not know how to read? I *SAID* it was SPT material...guitar-quality sound included.
Moneyshot - I currently use a Roland VS-1680 with some external effects processors for my recording and mixing, although I will be ditching that soon for a USB/firewire mixer so that I can just record direct to my computer and eliminate the middle man.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-07-20 08:53:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Lame karaoke bullshit, and that lead guitar is fucking nasty, sounds like you're playing it out of a $2 speaker into a 50c mic
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2006-07-20 08:49:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What are you using to record?
I have so much shit I would love to record and mix together I just am clueless as to how.
Submitted by guiness (user info) at 2006-07-20 08:49:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sweet!
Submitted by skrapmetal (user info) at 2006-07-20 08:49:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Well done.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-07-20 08:36:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is just for you 3+ hour effort. The read version is good...I can't hear because my company decided that we could save .14 cents/per unit on shipping if we decided that we didn't want the free speakers that Gateway was giving away. Either that or it had something to do with me wanting to listen to music and downloads while at work.