The Orgasmatron (R) - Only $19.95+S/H! (warranty void in Tennessee) (1272 hits)
Category: Sound & MusicLabels: captainthorns_music
Rating: 1.73 on 44 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by CaptainThorns (View user info) at 2006-07-21 08:48:21 EDT
Per yesterday's request:
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Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-07-20 14:17:04 (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck theme songs, I want a radio jingle.
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ASK AND YE SHALL RECEIVE!
I threw this together in about a half hour...tune in to your local radio stations!
==============================================
If lack of peenar's got you down,
And ghola's nowhere to be found,
Then there's just one thing left to do -
Orgasmatron was meant for you!
[quartet continues in background]
[Sacrilious voice-over] "My name's Sacrilicious, and mmmm, Orgasmatron knows just where my G-spot, er, I mean the OHHH spot, is!"
[Scourge voice-over] "My name's Scourge, and if I were gay, Orgasmatron would be the one for me! Oh, yeah...Orgasmatron, you're so sexy..."
[JayPeg voice-over] "Hi, my name's JayPeg...mmf mmf mmf mmm jam mmf mmf jam oh yeah I love jam baby mmf mmf"
Orgasmatron! Orgasmatron!
Don't settle for less than the best!
Just strap him to your crotch and breasts -
Orgasmatron will do the rest!
Orgasmatron Radio Promo.mp3 (1010 kB) [audio/mpeg]
User Reviews
Submitted by Whiplash (user info) at 2006-07-24 12:14:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Where's mine?
I think I've been around long enough and developed enough internet popularity to receive a theme song or something of some sort.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-07-24 09:10:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-07-21 11:24:36 (#)
Ranking: 1
I thought that the "middle stanza" was weak. Yeah, your outside "talent" bit it.
The quartet was OK...But if this was supposed to be a jingle, it had a real 1950's radio jingle feel to it.
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Yeah, Shlongmeister, that was the idea...an "oldie-but-goodie" feel of a jingle.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-07-22 20:07:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-07-21 15:35:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Spiffy. Why does Darko want to be able to rate again? I wish my ratings were taken away.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-07-21 14:42:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I don't care if my ratings are fixed permanently.
I want my review MESSAGE to be "Fuck you" whenever I hit ANY rating number.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-21 14:32:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm sure that'll sort it.
I'm off to lunch. I better have a perma +2 when I get back.
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2006-07-21 14:32:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Doug Movers, I presume.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-21 14:31:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The following message was sent:
From: Matt<uberscourge.at.gmail.com>
To: ubersite-contact.at.cilfone.com
Subject: [ubersite] The script is talking to you man, the script is talking
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dear Human,
darko desperately wants his ability to rate back. Please see to it that this matter is tended to.
Thanks.
-Matt
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-21 14:27:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
WAY TO NOT MENTION ME YOU ASS
Submitted by Davros (user info) at 2006-07-21 14:20:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Perfect.
-Dave
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-07-21 14:16:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Did I mention that I love how "the" is incorporated into my name?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-21 14:16:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The following message was sent:
From: Matt<uberscourge.at.gmail.com>
To: ubersite-contact.at.cilfone.com
Subject: [ubersite] The script is talking to you man, the script is talking
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bart/site admin/whirlycott/whoever the hell reads these,
I don't want the ability to rate anymore.
I don't want a zero rating, a'la pff and shandy however, I'd like for my rating to be set at a permanent +2 for every post I decide to leave a comment on. I don't even want to see the dropdown menu.
Knowing that you spend all your time responding to this type of request, I look forward to my soon to be perma +2.
Thanks a million, you're a peach.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-21 14:09:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I'm going to email him right now and ask him to set mine as a permanent +2.
I don't even want to see the drop down menu.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-21 14:05:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.ubersite.com/m/90287 that's practically what I've done
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-21 13:55:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why do you want ratings darko?
I want bart to set mine at a permanent +2.
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-21 13:52:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Whenever I see the rating being slightly different than I rememer it being when I commented I get my hopes up that bart reinstated my ratings
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-21 13:52:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
?
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-21 13:43:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
is DeathJester joking?
Submitted by Feety (user info) at 2006-07-21 13:32:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*kicks*
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-07-21 13:32:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yep, still glorious.
Submitted by DeathJester (user info) at 2006-07-21 12:27:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-07-21 11:27:58 (#)
Ranking: 2
Have another +2 cause Shlongy broke the +2 streak.
DAMN YOU SHLONGY!!!
DAMN YOU ALL THE WAY TO HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!
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Shlongy's ratings don't count, at his request. It means he can express his opinion without shitting on someone's streak, like right now. Plus he's a gimp.
Professorfuckface "broke" the streak by not starting it.
n00b.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-07-21 11:48:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I listened to yesterday's when I got home and I enjoyed, so based on principle alone, this get's a +2.
Submitted by Defect (user info) at 2006-07-21 11:28:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-07-21 11:27:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Have another +2 cause Shlongy broke the +2 streak.
DAMN YOU SHLONGY!!!
DAMN YOU ALL THE WAY TO HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-07-21 11:26:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for making me laugh like a bitch.
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-07-21 11:24:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I thought that the "middle stanza" was weak. Yeah, your outside "talent" bit it.
The quartet was OK...But if this was supposed to be a jingle, it had a real 1950's radio jingle feel to it.
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-07-21 11:16:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
great!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-07-21 11:01:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
There's money to be made in them thar jingles:
http://votejoinrun.us/db3/00215/votejoinrun.us/_download/Gail4Rail.mp3
TRY GETTING THIS OUT OF YOUR HEAD.
Submitted by badassmofo (user info) at 2006-07-21 10:56:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-07-21 09:36:48 (#)
Ranking: 2
I snorted at this and now my dog thinks I'm insane.
WHO CARES IF SHE'S RIGHT, GODDAMNIT!! SHUT UP, SELF!
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yeah like this is the first time she's thought this.
Anyway, this was funny
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-21 10:37:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
My voice was great in this.
I'm glad you called me to help out with this.
Submitted by wardy (user info) at 2006-07-21 10:31:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
sure.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-07-21 10:24:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-21 10:14:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*asks*
*waits*
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-07-21 09:53:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
H
O
L
Y
S
H
I
T
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-21 09:53:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice work Thorns.
Submitted by inion_de_trua (user info) at 2006-07-21 09:46:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i'mo have you write my theme song for me.
Submitted by MANICMOTHER (user info) at 2006-07-21 09:45:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by SilvrWolf (user info) at 2006-07-21 09:36:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I snorted at this and now my dog thinks I'm insane.
WHO CARES IF SHE'S RIGHT, GODDAMNIT!! SHUT UP, SELF!
Submitted by w_t_a_y_s_t_r_m (user info) at 2006-07-21 09:31:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-21 09:10:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I just laughed so suddenly loudly at all the voices that the AVP just came over to see if I was OK.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-21 09:07:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
:~O
...
...
AWESOME
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-07-21 08:52:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
BUT IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WANNA JINGLE
*throws temper tantrum*
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-07-21 08:50:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
PFF - blow
meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-07-21 08:50:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
fuck
yooooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu