shadow's Unemployment: Three Weeks Later (854 hits)
Category: GeneralLabels: ranting
Rating: 1.46 on 16 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by shadow (View user info) at 2006-07-22 05:21:39 EDT
It's been one fucking hell of a ride, lemme tell ya!
Here's the skinny: 7 parties, 5 states, 2 beaches and 1 trip to the hospital ER later, I'm still rocking out. The last few weeks have been simply splendid, complete with tons of free booze, people in swimsuits and a free computer (which I am on right now!). To top it all off one of my oldest drinking buddies and closest friends was on leave from Kuwait which led to more drunken debouchery than you can shake a stick at. (Does that sentence make sense? We'll go with it.)
The states: MD, DE, VA, PA, NJ
The parties: I don't remember all of it so, use your imagination.
The Beaches: Ocean City, MD and Stone Harbour, NJ (which was surprisingly snooty and upity for a spot in New Jersy)
The Reason for the Trip to the ER: Fourth of July party involved a pool which I ADAMANTLY refused to get into, right up to the point where my flatmate jumped on my back and dragged me finger nails last off of the porch. Someone thought it would be great fun to dunk each other, WEEEEE! So Brad the asshole picked me up and threw me into my flatmate, the back of my head hit her face and I went sprawling to the bottom of the pool. Once there, I really couldn't figure out how to get back up, which was a peculiar sensation since I KNEW I was at the bottom, ergo what's opposite my ass MUST be up. Anyway, I was drunk and concussed.
Long story short, another friend grabbed me up and pulled me from the watery jaws of a pool no more than fifteen feet accross, and I coughed up a load of high chlorine water all over the place. We continued drinking and took the party to a warehouse in Baltimore where I continued coughing.
The next day I began to feel wicked chest pain, as if someone had beaten me in the sternum with a baseball bat. I called my HMO to ask for medical advise and their response was essentially: "Oh God, oh God, CHEST PAIN!!! Go to the HOSPITAL!!!!!11!1!" So I did.
The x-ray showed a giant wad of fluid in the bottom of my right lung consisting of water mucus and blood. Mmmmmm.... lung biscuit... The good news was that despite the damage there was no infection, and I was given an inhaler to aid in expectoration, nothing more. I triumph over injury and disease like it ain't no thang.
Anywho, I reverted back to my "normal" sleep schedule, which involves me falling asleep when the sun rises and waking up when I'm done dreaming, which is usually in the late afternoon. Hence this is going up at... what time is it... 5:30am goody. For those who were wondering about me (all two of you) know that I am safe and super. Gotta go, there's a beer calling out to me...
PEACE
User Reviews
Submitted by shadow (user info) at 2006-08-01 05:09:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
awww such kindness from the Uberpeeps.
I sent my resume off at 5am (apparantly that's right before my body wants to fall asleep naturally) so maybe I'll have a job soon... otherwise I need more adventures to fill the void...
later
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-07-24 16:14:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-07-23 01:21:39 (#)
Ranking: 1
MD, DE, VA, PA, NJ
Middeapolis (maybe you have a cold), Detroit, Vancouver, Pennsylvania, New Jersey?
I am reasonably confident about the last one there.
-------
Maryland, Delaware, Virginia, Pennsylvania, New Jersey.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-07-24 16:09:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I hope you gave Brad a nice, solid punch to the face.
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-07-24 12:59:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i think it's time for you
to get a job before you
kill yourself.
Submitted by Professional_Peon (user info) at 2006-07-24 12:52:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You shoulda visited you dick
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-07-24 12:16:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Those aren't beaches.
Submitted by munkeypants (user info) at 2006-07-23 22:17:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
yay
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-07-23 17:18:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good times.
Submitted by firefly (user info) at 2006-07-23 14:57:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-07-23 01:21:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
MD, DE, VA, PA, NJ
Middeapolis (maybe you have a cold), Detroit, Vancouver, Pennsylvania, New Jersey?
I am reasonably confident about the last one there.
Submitted by Life101 (user info) at 2006-07-23 01:07:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The x-ray showed a giant wad of fluid in the bottom of my right lung consisting of water mucus and blood. Mmmmmm.... lung biscuit... The good news was that despite the damage there was no infection, and I was given an inhaler to aid in expectoration, nothing more. I triumph over injury and disease like it ain't no thang.
to bad
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-07-23 00:53:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-22 10:00:06 (#)
Ranking: 2
I WAS wondering about you. Glad you're OK.
I'm off to Fenwick Island, DE today w00t!
-
I WAS NOT wondering about you. Sucks that you're OK.
I'm off to Pen Island, FU today w00t!
I mean err sorry about getting fired.
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-07-22 16:07:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by COMountain (user info) at 2006-07-22 14:13:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
YOU MADE ME HAVE A BEER AT 10:00 AM...
Aw shit, it's already 12:13 pm??
...I STILL BLAME YOU.
call me!
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-22 10:00:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I WAS wondering about you. Glad you're OK.
I'm off to Fenwick Island, DE today w00t!
Submitted by MyNameIsTim (user info) at 2006-07-22 06:30:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
cool man.
yesterday was my last day of work between jobs: i have three weeks off before i start my new job up in boston.
from: nnj, delaware, mar yland, dc....maryland, delaware, nj....conneticuit, massachusetts....florida...phoenix...vegas...massachusetts.