Story: Ass Kicking in Space - Part 3 - Final (620 hits)
Category: Quotes & StoriesRating: -0.07 on 37 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Electro (View user info) at 2006-07-25 06:45:00 EDT
ASS KICKING IN SPACE
We resume... Part 3 - Final
Boris entered the wormhole to the alien world. The wormhole was terribly unstable and Boris had a hell of a time piloting through it but made out the other end into the alien world. The alien world was like something in your worst nightmares. It was kinda like waking up next to Peewee Herman and Michael Jackson in the same bed. Yeah, it was that scary. As Boris looked around, the wormhole closed behind him.
"Fuck." said Boris. "Now how am I suppose to get back?" as he focus down on this control panel to find any exits around.
"You won't be going back." said the rasp alien voice over Boris's radio. Boris looked back up to see the Mothership right in front of him and hundreds of alien crafts surrounding him. "We will not allow you to leave."
Boris knew he couldn't take them all down, but then he remembers the special package attached to the ship. Boris pushed the button to fire the package at the mothership but nothing happened. He pushed it again and again. The special package, which was a very nice D-42 bomb, which was able to destroy anything within 10,000 miles of its blast.
"Shit, it won't fire... and there is no way I could take all them bastards on in a fire fight." thought boris. The truth came upon him. He wouldn't be returning home alive, but he knew he couldn't let the alien bastards win. He activated the timer on the bomb for 15 seconds and started it. He accelated his ship towards the alien mothership.
"What do you think you are doing, human? You cannot win against us. Resistence is futile." said the alien. 6 seconds left...
"YIPPIE-KY-AY-MOTHERFUCKERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!" screamed Boris just as his ship collides with the mothership. The aliens scream as the bomb explodes, wiping their asses out of existence.
The screen then flashed:
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[ GAME OVER ]
Player 2 Wins.
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"You fucking cheater!" screamed Bart as he kicks his xbox 360. "How the hell..."
"Hey, I am just that awesome, man." said Rad. "Wanna go again?"
"Boot it up fucker, I am gonna be player 2 this time." replied Bart.
THE END?
Now for some links.....
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http://www.ubersite.com/m/90188 - Ass Kicking in Space - Part 1.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/90212 - Ass Kicking in Space - Part 1 VoiceWhore by Spencer Thompson.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/90261 - Ass Kicking in Space - Part 2.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/90842 - UberDirectory 2006.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/90864 - Rad found Bart's Long Lost Brother in San Francisco.
http://www.ubersite.com/m/90868 - Habeeb's Helpful Advice.
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[Animation attached for visual. File name has also been adjusted to be truthful.]
User Reviews
Submitted by sebcharrot (user info) at 2006-07-29 19:42:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Ingsoc (user info) at 2006-07-28 14:47:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by polyamorousaj (user info) at 2006-07-26 10:25:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-07-26 08:12:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2006-07-25 07:07:39 (#)
Ranking: 0
Didn't expect this ending to the story, did ya?
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That wasn't necessary.
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Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2006-07-25 07:43:56 (#)
Ranking: -2
That Russian dog Laika licked ass in space, that's about as close as it comes.
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Until she got too fat.
Submitted by Axolotl (user info) at 2006-07-25 18:06:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
No Comment
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-07-25 17:24:25 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
all your base are belong to us
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-07-25 16:32:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-07-25 11:50:16 (#)
Ranking: 2
Better than half the shit on this site
==============
electro is the john kerry of ubersite
"better than bush"
Submitted by Ingsoc (user info) at 2006-07-25 15:44:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Please get me outta here
Just someone get me outta here
Just help me I'll do anything
Anything
If you'll just help
Get me out of here!
Submitted by darko (user info) at 2006-07-25 15:10:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
this sucked
Submitted by Whiplash (user info) at 2006-07-25 14:55:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-07-25 07:01:14 (#)
Ranking: 0
Well it's hardly The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nightime is it?
I didn't think autistic people had the ability to comprehend fiction and I must confess that this post has done little to shake that.
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i liked that boook
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-07-25 14:15:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You suck.
errr lazers...err..pew pew...pew pew pew...
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-07-25 13:25:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
glory glory hallelujah
Submitted by The_Cyst_Master (user info) at 2006-07-25 13:15:48 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jon Perry comes for you.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-07-25 11:50:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Better than half the shit on this site. At least it was funny.
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2006-07-25 11:30:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2006-07-25 11:30:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I'm sorry, Jeffrey. You know that I'm one of your biggest fans, but I can't allow this blatant plagiarism to go unchecked. The makers of Independence Day are going to be furious to see that you are claiming ownership over this story. Expect to be hearing from lawyers in the next few days.
Submitted by thorpe (user info) at 2006-07-25 09:06:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
"Wiping their asses out of existence" is not a good turn of phrase.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-07-25 08:35:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-07-25 07:38:06 (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually, have an improved score for the effort involved in making that animation.
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Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-07-25 07:01:14 (#)
Ranking: 0
Well it's hardly The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nightime is it?
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They have books in Birmingham?
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We have so many books in Birmingham we wipe our arses with Tolstoy.
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2006-07-25 07:43:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2006-07-25 07:35:19 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2006-07-25 07:27:27 (#)
Ranking: -2
You can't kick ass in space, space is a vacuum. Like, duh?
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Yes teacher, People can kick ass in space, but who gives a shit about your 8th grade space facts?
This story isn't about teaching outer space. It is about TOTAL KICK ASSERY.
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That Russian dog Laika licked ass in space, that's about as close as it comes.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-07-25 07:38:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Actually, have an improved score for the effort involved in making that animation.
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Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-07-25 07:01:14 (#)
Ranking: 0
Well it's hardly The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nightime is it?
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They have books in Birmingham?
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2006-07-25 07:35:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2006-07-25 07:27:27 (#)
Ranking: -2
You can't kick ass in space, space is a vacuum. Like, duh?
---------------------------------
Yes teacher, People can kick ass in space, but who gives a shit about your 8th grade space facts?
This story isn't about teaching outer space. It is about TOTAL KICK ASSERY.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-07-25 07:34:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
wow. shitty
Submitted by MichaelJackson (user info) at 2006-07-25 07:27:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
You can't kick ass in space, space is a vacuum. Like, duh?
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-07-25 07:20:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh yeah
I just made sweet love to a crab for six hours.
thats kinda funny.
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2006-07-25 07:20:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Hey Rad... time for a Flash Back: http://www.ubersite.com/m/90506 - Eee! A block people production.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-07-25 07:18:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I vaguely remember something about method getting it on with a crab.
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2006-07-25 07:07:39 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Nevermind. Problem solved. It seemed I had AD blocking in ZoneAlarm Pro turned on. (Which made animated images with the word 'ad' in it not animate...) BLAH
Didn't expect this ending to the story, did ya?
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2006-07-25 07:03:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well, thats odd. Its not animating for me in Firefox or Internet Explorer. WTF.
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-07-25 07:02:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
animation is fine.
beautiful story my friend.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-07-25 07:02:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Where are my manners?
Actually mentally ill person auto +2.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-07-25 07:01:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well it's hardly The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nightime is it?
I didn't think autistic people had the ability to comprehend fiction and I must confess that this post has done little to shake that.
Submitted by Electro (user info) at 2006-07-25 06:58:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Is that image animating for anyone? Bart, what the hell did your uploader do to the animation?
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-07-25 06:55:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
HAVE YOU SEEN MY BASEBALL
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-07-25 06:53:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
electro is my friend don't you dare pick on him you fucking tiny ass nerd
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-07-25 06:53:09 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
It's Dr Strangelove meets Armageddon in a literary masterpiece, I need to repaint my asshole and your lips seem to be the exact same shade, let's hold them against each other just to check, I don't want to have to buy a whole tin if it isn't even the right color
Submitted by rad1101 (user info) at 2006-07-25 06:53:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
OMG YOU ARE A FUCKING PRICK METHOD
Submitted by Method (user info) at 2006-07-25 06:47:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Needs more chockomut icecreams