Who wants to play with my Wii?..Err NINTENDO. (843 hits)
Category: PoliticsRating: 1.91 on 16 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jesus_Loves_TwEE (View user info) at 2006-07-28 01:06:14 EDT
Ok this was sapposed to be a continuation of this story, but didnt really turn out that way..oh well
http://www.ubersite.com/m/85127 part 1
http://www.ubersite.com/m/85908 part 2
The 16-bit war is a distant memory, drifting further and further from the collective video game
consciousness. 10 years have past (Gawd are we that old?) since NINTENDO stood down the dark forces of the SEGA blast processing hype in one of the bloodiest console wars to date. SEGA had spread itself too thin, NINTENDO had won.
At one point NINTENDO (and to a lesser extent SEGA) where synonymous with videogames, you didn't go to your friends house to play videogames, you went to play NINTENDO. But in the dark years that followed the war the 16-bit GODS started to lose their hold over the people, they were being forgotten.
A new threat had appeared, greater than any either SEGA or NINTENDO had faced before, it was NINTENDO's Old ally the merchant SONY and he was not alone, for under his employ he had those who once swore undying loyalty to NINTENDO or SEGA working to bring about their old master's defeat. NINTENDO was taken aback by the betrayal, but SEGA did not hesitate, if anybody was going to topple NINTENDO it was going to be him.
This new 32/64 bit war lasted for years, and after the dust settled SEGA lay defeated and NINTENDO wounded, disappeared into the shadows. SONY with the support of countless third parties and a steady stream of games did what SEGA, ATARI, 3DO, NEO GEO, TURBO GRAFIX 16 and the rest couldn't, he sent the king into exile,and claimed the world for his own.
There where those who stead loyal to NINTENDO and still do, although he lost his kingdom he did not loose the will to fight and would not go the way of SEGA. Unfortunately for NINTENDO a string of missteps and statigic blunders, going with a cartidge format as opposed to CDs out of fear of piracy, not making sure third parties like Sqaursoft, capcon, and konimie where happy, and a complete inability to recognize his own strengths and weaknesses ensured that he would not regain his crown anytime soon.
Of coarse there where battles that did go NINTENDO's way the battles of GOLDEN EYE, MARIO 64, OCARINA OF TIME and PERFECT DARK to name a few, but these victories where few and far between, and NINTENDO's influence diminished with each passing year.
Fast forward to the new millennium, the year is 2006 and sony has been the udisputed king for the last two console cycles, and despite NINTENDO's and new comer's MICROSOFT best efforts to steal the crown most believe SONY could never be toppled, and the future would belong to them forever. And so thinking himself unbeatable sony became arrogant, and in may 2006 the first cracks in SONY's armor started to appear..
Sony reveals the price of their new playstation, and its up there in the statisphere with such classics as the 3DO and CD-i.
...... Playstation $299 (American)
Playstation 2 $299 (American)
Playstation 3 $599 (American) ....thats SIX HUNDRED DOLLARS
thats not including a second controller or any games, and if you want to take advantage of its next gen graphics you will need to fork over a couple grand for a HD tv. Gamers everywhere pooped there pants (thats what they do, Im not making this up) and let out a collective cry of "what the fuck?".
Ken Kutaragi, President and CEO of Sony Computer Entertainment when asked about the high price of his gaming machine had this to say.
"The PS3 is not a game machine "
"for consumers to think to themselves 'I will work more hours to buy one'. We want people to feel that they want it, irrespective of anything else"
"The PS3 will instill discipline in our children and adults alike. Everyone will know discipline"
You will know discipline dammit, DISCIPLINE! You will all wear matching overalls and march under the glorious banner of SONY!
The New console war will be in full swing When NINTENDO and SONY reallies there new systems
(Microsofts has been out for a while now), and for the first time in years, it could be anybodies fight.
So whats NINTENDO's plan to take back the crown?
Weirdness.. Weirdness and nostalgia all wrapped up in device dubbed the wii (pronouced we, as in me and you, weeeeeeeee ) that looks like it could have been disinged by apple.
Having lost the last two wars, NINTENDO wanted to diferenciant themselves form the competition.. and so decided to redesign the controller
considering, every controller for every system is just a supped up NES pad with about 20 new buttons added, what NINTENDO is doing is esencialy pressing the reset button, and starting over.
The controller is wireless and can be held with one hand, it resembles a TV remote with a direction and a few buttons on the top and a trigger on the bottom.. Not that exciting yet, but wait..I SAID WAIT!! The Wii can sense the remotes position in the room and move the on screen avatar accordingly. Move your hand forward the onscreen character moves forward, pull it back, it moves back, twist, turn, pivot, you get the idea.
Want to play a boxing game? Hold two wii controllers in your hands and and start punching, the character will mimic your movement.
Want to play a First person shooting game, just aim an click, it will control like a PC FPS but in 3d space and the comfort of your couch.
Want to play a racing game, turn the controller sideways and use it like a steering wheel..
Want to fuck princess peach, just attach the remote to the front of your belt buckle and start thrusting..
The possibilities seem endless (really only limited by the imaginations of those designing the games)
I know what your going to say, "But wait one minute here TwEE, with your cool shoes and dashing good looks, some of us are too lazy to wave a remote around for extended periods of time".. Let me alleviate your fears, you do not have to wave the remote around,if you choose to do so you can, it will also except small wrist movements.
This sounds all fine and has gotten me wanting to play classics like Zelda and Mario with the new 3D control, but thats only have of what makes the system sound so fun.
The wii will also be able to play every gamecube game (resident evil 4, eternal darkness, metriod prime, smash brothers, metal gear solid twin snakes). The wii comes equipped with 4 ports that will let you plug in gamecube controllers if you choose and a GC memory card..
That also sounds fun but what else can it do you ask...oh You didn't ask? Well fuck you, Im going to tell ya any way.
The wii comes wireless internet ready strait out of the box.. As long as you have a wireless connection in your house, your ready to go (and to play new wii games online is FREE, no subscription needed)..
But wait there's more..And this is the best part. The Wii will have built in NES, SNES, N64, SEGA GENISES, and turbo graphic16 (NEO-GEO is rumored) emulators. The wii is essentially a NES/SNES/GENISES/TURBOGRAHPIC16/N64/GAMECUBE/Wii all in one.. You can go from playing Duck Hunt to altered beast to resident evil all without having to drag out diffent consoles..
But how can you play all those different games with the wii controller? When you flip the thing on its side it resembles an nes controller, and the system also comes with a classic controller
(streamlined SNES controller with two analog sticks).
ANd whats the biggest seller for poor old dirt farmers like us? The price.. Less then $250 (American) and rumored to be as low as $150 (they are trying to keep it in the impulse buy range).
Im done sucking NINETNDO's cock for now and leave you with a a list of some Wii games and pics..
Resident Evil
Madden NFL
God Father
Wii Sports ----------------------------(swing the remote like a baseball bat, ping pong paddle, or tennis racket)
Wii Music -----------------------------(picture holding two remotes and smashing virtual drums)
The Legend of Zelda
Metroid
Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles
Red Steel------------------------------(sword fights and guns)
Heroes
Call of Duty
Need for Speed
Donkey Kong
Medal of Honor
Super Smash Bros.
WarioWare ------------------------------(the weirdest fucking game in the world)
Dragon Quest
Super Mario
Fire Emblem
Trauma Center --------------------------(slice open your patients chest and play doctor using the controller like a scalpel)
Sadness
Final Furlong
Duck Hunt-------------------------------(thats right motherfucker!)
Tony Hawk
and on and on and on, not to mention thousands of the best games from the last 20 years..
User Reviews
Submitted by Anansie (user info) at 2007-01-07 13:18:07 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-07-28 05:48:32 (#)
Ranking: 2
Cutting through that insane statement from Sony, which I'll agree is proper mental, what Microsoft and Sony are doing is making a play for a single device which essentially controls all the entertainment in your living room. A DVD player, a games console, a wireless device which can play music stored on computers around the house.
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I already own devices for that extra shit. Considering that most people already own devices with these extra functions, and considering how few games are system exclusive these days, Sony is shooting itself in the foot by pricing the PS3 so high, in my opinion. Sony is alienating people who simply want to play games, and not just casual gamers either. No single game is worth 600 dollars, plus the price of said game. So for people who are interested in buying a system because of the games available, I really don't see any reason not to go to the competition instead. Most games will be ported eventually anyway. There seems to be a trend away from exclusivity, with the exception of titles like Zelda, Halo, and Final Fantasy. Really the only games I've ever been interested in for Playstation were Final Fantasy and Mark of the Kri(which they stopped after the one shitty sequel anyway). The only thing that ever came close to being a deal-maker was Final Fantasy, but after two shitty PS2's that broke (almost like clockwork) after the warranty was up, Sony's not getting any more of my money. They are getting a little too cocky. The people at gamespot told me that they have PS3's gathering dust in the back. Maybe the backlash from pricing the PS3 so high will make sony realize it's not king of the hill anymore.
Submitted by Jesus_Loves_TwEE (user info) at 2006-07-29 19:56:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Skatch..You have to download the games and store them on the systems 512 MB built-in flash memory, or an SD card if ya want. You can also store stuff on an external hard drive, one designed specifically for the wii or your PC's hard drive..
Im not sure about the modem though, they haven't said anything other then wifi.. but I cant see them not letting you hook it up to a regular modem
The system will be hooked to the net 24/7... so it will download content (trailers, free games, demos for the wii and DS which can be sent wirelessly to the ds if you own one) even when your not using it
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-28 15:03:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is not an A.D.D. competition entry post
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-07-28 14:43:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Rip-your-asshole-wide-open awesome post. Thank you from the bottom of my 64-bit heart.
You failed to mention however, a few key iconoclasts in the development of today's 'video game'.
1. Coleco
2. Vectrex (the first console to incorporate vector graphics)
3. Intellivision (you actually had to input script in order to play games)
Shame on you!!
Again, nice post.
Submitted by Skatch (user info) at 2006-07-28 14:22:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Already decided to buy one myself. How do you get the older games onto it though? Do they come standard or will I have to download them? I don't get it. Can I hook my cable modem into it since I have no wireless internet?
Submitted by HighVoltage900 (user info) at 2006-07-28 14:19:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very entertaining and informative as I was out of the loop during the PS1 time. I MISS SEGA!
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2006-07-28 14:08:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good response, too. I hate consoles (I build PCs) but you almost have me sold on this thing. Wiiiiiiiii!
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-07-28 11:14:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 for someone turning another year older today: http://www.ubersite.com/m/71938
VIVA LA ORGASMANNIVERSARY OFFICIALE!
I STILL FUCKING HATE YOU, BIRTHDAY CAT
Submitted by Jesus_Loves_TwEE (user info) at 2006-07-28 10:59:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Freakmagnet ... shaddap you! I was coming down from a mushroom induced adventure (not unlike Mario) and could not think strait (not that my grammars ever good). So you keep sassing me on my post and your off my Christmas card list, I mean it.
kaos-king ... Tetris is the one that rules them all... 152 lines right here, beat that!
Berty ..gimmick? Urggh, I hate that word. This is no power glove, or superscope, this is going to be the new industry standard if nintendo dose not screw it up.
Im not sure I would call today's standard controller simple, it may be simple for people who grew up playing video games, or people who have been playing since the beginning. But those things have so many buttons (what is it? 13 on the PS2) that the only new players seem to be teenage boys (and even that market is shrinking). Nintendo is trying to appeal to a wider base, people who play games now, those who stopped and those who found the whole experience too intimidating (your not going to see somebody's mother get the urge to jump into a Halo match).
Sony and Microsoft wanting to become entertainment hubs is fine and dandy, but to do that they are going to have to increase the price of there systems, alienating those who see games as a fun distraction and not a serious investment (people who don't want to have to buy a blueray player to play tetris)..
What they are doing is pretty much leaving the console market, leaving a huge hole to be filled.
There is a market for an affordable (below $400) gaming machine, designed purely for games and something will fill that hole, and right now Nintendo is the only option.
As for the software not being up to it, if you mean it wont be able to compete graphically then your probably right, but if you've played any xbox 360 games yet, there really hasn't been that much of a graphic increase (yet) from the PS2/Gamecube/Xbox generation, well nothing worth writing home about.
Not to mention the production cost for games is starting to balloon out of control. Millions of dollars, hundreds of employees, years of work, just to produce one game, and if that game dose not sell well, than that company is pretty much finished. If you pay attention to the industry you'll notice a lot of long time players disappearing or being swallowed up by EA or the likes. Since it cost so much to produce a game, companies are less likely to take any risks, your we're starting to see less and less diversity in gaming.
Then there is the dev kits..(the tools developers will need to make the games with). Nintendo's will be under $2000 (which means small companies or ones starting off will be able to compete), sure your bound to see some gimmicky games, but you'll also see a lot of great unexpected stuff, since people will be able to take risks and innovate. Compare that with sony's dev kits estimated to be over $20,000 for just one kit, and you can see why a lot of companies are leaving the sony camp (and they are).
Nintendo is far from doomed, Nintendo is a very conservative company, they NEVER lose money, as long as there is a video game industry they will be making hardware, and making a profit, unlike the competition.
As for the software, Nintendo has been making a killing for the last while, producing 7 of the 10 top selling games for the last year in japan, a market dominated by sony for the last 10 years (and japan is the canary in the mine here, where they go the rest of the world will follow).
Yeah Sega did outsell Nintendo for a while, it was a close race, but by the end Nintendo managed to pull ahead.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-07-28 08:14:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This was a good post, sounded like a review for some gamer magazine or something....but that was way before the editor ever seen it. I can't give you a +2 when you have things in there like "reallies" instead of realize and a plethora of other garbage words. Essentially is the word. I wish I could remember the rest. Anyhow, overall this was a good sumission.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-07-28 05:48:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
So, it's got a gimmick controller and a low price. Wicked.
In terms of market power a gimmick is a double edged sword. It's great for older and ingrained gamers like you but for new gamers they need simple, ergonomically designed controls. When you look at that plus the low price it's clear to see that this console is being marketed as a novelty toy.
Cutting through that insane statement from Sony, which I'll agree is proper mental, what Microsoft and Sony are doing is making a play for a single device which essentially controls all the entertainment in your living room. A DVD player, a games console, a wireless device which can play music stored on computers around the house.
This thing from Nintendo cannot compete in that vein, plus it lacks the power of the other two machines and finally the software just won't be up to it.
Nintendo is doomed mate. It had a good run, it gave us some memories but it's over.
Incidently, didn't SEGA achieve more sales than Nintendo with the Mega Drive (Genesis)?
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-07-28 03:29:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yes, yes... but what of "Tetris?"
Submitted by redskieslookfake (user info) at 2006-07-28 03:20:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Freakmagnet (user info) at 2006-07-28 01:31:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
Cool post, but is english like your second language or something?
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I think he's speaking 'excited teenager'.
Submitted by ilikesteak (user info) at 2006-07-28 01:59:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Why not.
Submitted by Freakmagnet (user info) at 2006-07-28 01:31:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Cool post, but is english like your second language or something?
Submitted by the_lone_stranger (user info) at 2006-07-28 01:26:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fucking sweet post, man! Thanks!