My Last Rape (1199 hits)
Category: RomanceRating: 0.71 on 16 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by KindaNews (View user info) at 2006-07-28 03:16:07 EDT
My First Rape: http://www.ubersite.com/m/90832
My Second Rape: http://www.ubersite.com/m/90871 Pasta, She Said
My Third Rape: http://www.ubersite.com/m/90931 Licking a Bum's Ass
My Fourth Rape: http://www.ubersite.com/m/90985 Two Short Pieces
The old man walked slowly through the iron gates, stopping to face the guard, who gamely accepted the gnarled hand in his own with a bemused look on his face.
"Been in here since before you were born, kid," he volunteered brightly.
The guard shrugged. What the hell do you say to something like that?
"What were you in for?" It was a big place, and he was new.
"Rape!" the old man said proudly.
The guard's expression changed, and he dropped the old guy's hand like it was diseased.
His supervisor laughed out loud behind them, and the kid's face reddened.
The old man turned away and was off before the guards could see the satisfied smirk on his grizzled face.
And then he sniffed his palm.
*****
Bertie was seventy-nine years old, and looked harmless enough, but Greta was reticent. She required full disclosure with ex-cons, no matter how old they were. So Charlie, his caseworker, tiredly went back out to the car to retrieve his briefcase. He hoped he had a blank release form in there. Couldn't show her Bertie's prison records without a signed release. Otherwise he'd have to put the old guy in a motel and deal with it tomorrow.
Greta smiled at Bertie, who grinned back. He didn't look like he could hurt anyone.
She wanted to trust him. Charlie had always been straight with her, keeping her boarding house full. Good, steady rent. And she needed the money.
Charlie banged back in the door.
"I don't have any with me." He just stood there, looking at her hopefully.
Greta frowned.
"If Bertie wants to tell you, then-"
"RAPE!" he cried. "I been in prison for twenty-nine years. For RAPE," the old guy said in a funny little singsong voice.
Greta blinked. She didn't like this. He sounded proud of it.
"Well-"
"Can't rape no more, no more, no more, no more. Oh no. Oh, no no no. All I can do now is kiss it and wish it well."
Greta made a face.
"KISS-it-and-WISH-it-well!"
Greta looked at Charlie, who shrugged sheepishly.
"No rape for me, no-sir-ree. Trays-am-pa-see-blay," Bertie said in that odd voice.
Greta said, "If you're talking about drugs or shots, who's to say you won't stop-"
"Don't take no drugs or shots. No drugs, no shots. Oh, no no no!"
Greta just looked at him, unsure of what he was getting at. She tried again.
"What I mean is, how can you say for sure that you'll never-"
"Maybe...I should explain," said Charlie, hoping to put an end to this. Fuck the paperwork.
"He's telling you the truth. He couldn't possibly rape anyone."
"How can you know that?"
Charlie sighed. "Trust me, I know."
"But-"
"When Bertie was in prison, -"
"I CUT- mynutsoff!" the old man exclaimed in that funny voice.
Greta's jaw dropped. After a moment, she felt her eyes move towards the old man's crotch, but she forced herself to look at Charlie, instead.
Charlie nodded slowly, yes-he's-telling-you-the-truth.
Greta was stunned. She finally had to look down at his crotch. It was just a second, and she caught herself, but the old guy did, too.
"You wanna see the SAC, don't-cha? Yes ya do, yes ya do, yes ya do."
He jumped up, surprisingly quick for an old man, and dropped his pants before either of them could protest.
He lifted his shriveled penis proudly, like he a child showing his parents a perfect report card.
Neither of them wanted to look, but neither could look away. Charlie knew, but nothing prepared him for the sight of it.
Bertie indeed had no scrotum. There was just a small piece of mottled flesh hanging down, like a turkey's snood. Greta, who had never seen another woman naked, let alone a strange man, gasped. She rarely examined her own genitalia very closely, but thought this looked like her own stretched out labia.
"I used a PLAS-tic spoon. Jesus said so."
Charlie lowered his head in his hands and hoped Greta really needed the money.
After a moment, Bertie bent down and pulled his pants up, carefully zipping up as Greta and Charlie watched, speechless.
When he was all packed away, he said, "When can I move in?"
*****
Greta needed the money bad, so she reluctantly agreed to take him in. And much to her surprise, he caused no problems at first. He may have been totally insane, and maybe God told him to sever his scrotum with a spork, but he paid on time and didn't even have a radio.
Being naturally nosy, Greta often quizzed her boarders about their activities in both direct and round-a-bout ways, but with Bertie the answers were often so odd that she finally stopped. Sometimes a certain word or phrase seemed to upset him, so she just left him alone. He was one strange cookie, alright.
But she had no concerns about Bertie at all until Sister Frances moved in.
Her order was remodeling their convent nearby in preparation for a Christmas visit from their Bishop, and several of the sisters needed alternative accommodations for a couple of months.
She was an elderly nun, with an absolutely jaw dropping characteristic that rarely failed to provoke a double take from those who saw her for the first time. Everyone she met felt the need to speak of it later to friends or family. Sister Frances was uncommonly ugly.
Mind-numbingly so.
The neighborhood kids called her the Bride of Frankenchrist, or Sister Fugly, but Greta was quick to shoo them off her property, and Sister Frances rarely went outside, anyway.
But her presence had a strange effect on Bertie.
He may have given his balls to Jesus, but his heart belonged to Fugly.
He followed her around constantly, rarely leaving her side.
Once, as she sat reading her Bible on the other end of the sofa in the parlor, he suddenly moved over and sat right in her lap, breaking wind along with her glasses. The powerful fart was so loud Greta actually heard it in the kitchen. She rushed in and pulled him off her, ordering him to his room. The smell was so powerful, she suspected he might have shit his pants. It was very embarrassing.
But Sister Frances never said a word in complaint.
*****
After awhile, Bertie's more outrageous antics subsided, and he even took Bible study with the sister, sometimes in his room. Greta was dying to quiz her about their talks, but snooping into the business of a nun was not to her taste, so she held her tongue. And besides, the house had never been quieter.
On the morning of Christmas Eve, Sister Frances moved out. She said goodbye to everyone, taking an extra moment with Bertie. Then she kissed him on the cheek and said something Greta couldn't hear, but which had a definite effect on him. Bertie turned abruptly, grabbing his cane and hurrying out the door.
This was too much even for Greta, and she asked Sister Frances why Bertie had gotten so upset.
"I have no idea. I just kissed him and wished him well."
Something about that bothered Greta, but just then a station wagon pulled up, and two parishioners loaded her things to take her home. Greta forgot all about the comment. She had things to do.
*****
She always cooked a big holiday dinner for the boarders without families, and was in the kitchen all afternoon.
She didn't give Bertie another thought until he didn't show up for dinner with the rest of them. She checked his room, but it was empty. Maybe he had someplace to be after all.
*****
When Bertie had not come home by Christmas morning, Greta called the police. She expected to report him missing, but was surprised when the officer asked her to come down to the station.
When she got there, a detective questioned her sharply about Bertie. How long he'd lived there, his background, and the minutest details of his daily life. Greta, no slouch herself in ferreting out information, finally refused to answer any more questions until he told her just what kind of trouble he was in.
The detective looked at her for a long time, and finally said, "Bertie McLaughlin was arrested early this morning for the murder and rape of Sister Frances McGruder. And Bishop Malloy is missing. Most of him, that is."
*****
The boarder picked up the newspaper and carried it inside. He was always the first one up, even before Greta. He'd spent Christmas day at his daughter's house, and now he was ready to get back into his regular routine.
On the front page was a picture of Sister Frances, and a story detailing most of the facts of the crime.
He shook his head and muttered to himself. "Jesus. I wouldn't fuck her with somebody else's dick."
He walked into the house, reaching into his shorts to scratch his balls.
User Reviews
Submitted by RyuFu (user info) at 2006-08-09 12:33:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I hoped this miniseries would develop to something spectacular, but it was kinda so-so. This one had the best story development, though.
Submitted by DirtyDoubleEntendre (user info) at 2006-07-28 20:37:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I love you
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-07-28 19:59:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
KindaNews, you know what I really like about you?
Not a Goddamned thing.
Submitted by whysenheimer (user info) at 2006-07-28 15:16:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-07-28 03:45:53 (#)
Ranking: 2
This was just spectacular...
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-28 15:03:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is not an A.D.D. competition entry post
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-07-28 12:51:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Orgasmatron (user info) at 2006-07-28 11:13:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
+2 for someone turning another year older today: http://www.ubersite.com/m/71938
VIVA LA ORGASMANNIVERSARY OFFICIALE!
I STILL FUCKING HATE YOU, BIRTHDAY CAT
This is just an "in theory" +2 for you, Spag.
Submitted by Skatch (user info) at 2006-07-28 09:16:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Shoulda stopped after the third. But I read the whole thing, so +1 for you
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-07-28 07:31:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
If you promise to never write again, and maybe cut off your hands, I might be tempted into a +1.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-07-28 06:05:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This was alright, a bit obvious but alright.
I dunno, it was just too silly. I liked the bit where you described is castrated groin but the rest of it was just average.
-Berty 'not a rapist' MacBertside.
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-07-28 05:49:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2006-07-28 05:22:24 (#)
Ranking: 2
Berty is a rapist.
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Berty is not a rapist he is a very naughty boy.
Submitted by CHR15 (user info) at 2006-07-28 05:22:24 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Berty is a rapist.
Submitted by moneyshotforyou (user info) at 2006-07-28 04:23:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
RAPE, RAPE, RAPE, RAPE, RAPE!!!!!!!
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-07-28 03:45:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This was just spectacular...
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-07-28 03:43:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2006-07-28 03:19:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This has been a rape filled week, but five is too much for anyone.
My third rape was the most enjoyable, as the protagonist is meant to be the creator of Ubersite.
I shall never rape again, at least on the page.