Take me out! (513 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.6 on 12 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Rumpleforeskin (View user info) at 2006-07-28 14:20:03 EDT
The perforated edges of the ticket came apart with ease. It is probably due to my nervous energy and bending it back and forth for the last 15 minutes while standing in line. Nonetheless, it is the first game that I could come to since my departure a year and 8 months ago.
I have been a season ticket holder to the Seattle Mariners for 13 years now. They are tickets that have been in my family for many years.
The air was filled with popcorn and Italian sausage and you could feel the atmosphere was going to make for a pleasant evening. Children were streaming to their parents to get them the Ichiro t-shirts and the parents melt being that they did the exact same when they were kids, only now inflation proves to be 4000% higher.
As I weave in and out of the crowd, I start to forget why it has been so long since I could come back to this place I love. It was a year and 8 months ago that I was summoned to perform a duty that would scar me for life.
I am a Clandestine soldier for the United States. Missions are commonplace for my background. I play the role of a modern day James Bond but it comes with a sacrifice.
My family thinks that I am a sales representative for Good Humor Ice Cream Co. They believe that I am an account manager for international markets. For this reason, they believe I travel extensively.
My mission on that particular day took me to Thailand. Thailand is an interesting country consumed with scandal and prostitution. I was there to take out an underground leader of the Chatuism. The Chatuism was a neo-communist movement which was taking the country by storm. People gravitated to the concept because it was rooted in free trade, most of the goods of which were stolen from pirating expeditions across the pacific.
The US was losing mounds of money due to the insurance claims the trade embargos set up to protect companies from such acts. Cars, food, jewelry, and just about every other conceivable good was being reaped from these waterways and given to the Thailand natives for next to nothing.
My mission was to take out Yin Yum Chids, the Chatuist leader. He was a bright individual who received just about everything from the United States. He studied at NYU under an exchange program funded by the US government. He made a great deal of money on real estate during the last couple of years on the Californian coast.
He even married his first wife who was a fourth generation Rockefeller who has a multi billion dollar trust fund. Now Yin Yum Chids is raping the country that gave him everything.
My mission was supposed to be quick and painless. The time was coming down to when I was to make my stealthy endeavor with death yet again. Something or someone was completely wrong in where I was to be, and when. As I wait on the eastern walk of the compound, I realize that no one was home. Chids was in the Dominican Republic with his wife on a tour of a Cigar plant that he is looking to purchase.
Shit! What am I going to do to pass the time until he returns in two days. This time became my demise.
I retired early that evening to my hotel. The establishment was nothing to write home about being that it was infested with cockroaches and not been maintained for years. The sheets were stained and filth surrounded you no matter where you would step. Other than these distractions, the hotel was only two blocks away from Chids compound.
The next day, I went to the local coffee shop and grabbed an empty table. The streets were filled with marketers soliciting their goods in exchange for others. I saw the Chatuist way first hand. No currency was exchanged. Rather people would barter to get what they wanted. Televisions would be traded for cows. Mopeds were traded for goats. It was an interesting situation.
This is when my Clandestine knowledge failed me. She was about 22 with long black hair and smooth tan skin. She came walking right by me with a brilliant smile while holding the hands of orphaned children. I looked intently through my Ray Bans trying to disguise my piercing stare.
Suddenly she fell to the ground as she gripped her ankle and screamed in agony. I knew later that this act was all a ploy. I rushed her up to my room and dressed the ankle with ice and an ace bandage. She looked back at me with eyes that said thank you a thousand times.
I told her to stay there and rest while I went out to get some food and some beverages for us. I forgot why I was even there. There was no recollection of being married at this point.
I brought some wine and cuisine back when I returned. As for money holding no value in this land of barter, I had to relinquish my Tag Heuer for the goods.
The night went along pleasantly and we indeed got down to business. The experience was just as I had thought it would be, magnificent. We stayed up until dawn in our world of ecstasy.
The moment I closed my eyes I was dead to the world. This calming cousin of death came to an abrupt halt when I awoke with my own gun pointing in my back. The beautiful woman whom I just made love with all evening was now speaking perfect English and was screaming for me not to move. She was an agent committed to Yin Yum's party.
There were hundreds like her, dedicated to the cause. They believed the world would all hear Chids words of worldly barter and to eliminate the social class system for good. From what he saw as a vision would be his words moving a planet of people. We could not let this happen.
I was held and beaten by Chids thugs for that year and 8 months. They wanted answers and also wanted conversion to their beliefs. I gave them neither. I was going to bottle all of this aggression into a time bomb waiting to evaporate heads once released. I went along with their plans. I became their puppet.
I waited until my opportunity to meet with Chids. Once I saw him, I froze. That same vixen that got me month prior accompanied him. She was as beautiful as ever but this time I wanted to impale her on a bamboo post. She kept her eyes on me intently.
The moment came four days later when I was invited to his compound. The irony was that this was the place I was to kill him in the first place. The stage was set for that aggravated time bomb to be activated.
Within what seemed to be seconds I leaped from my chair, coffee in hand, and scalded the face of Chid while driving my hand made ivory tusk knife into his retina. I didn't even have time to absorb his screams.
Ripping the knife from his socket, I lunged for her! Her eyes showed terror as I drove the tip into her abdomen and removing the blade at her clavicle. Chids security came running through the door searching for the commotion. All they found was Chid lying with his head against the back of his whicker chair covered in blood and that conniving hole lying on the floor still quivering.
My mission was over and I was ready to return home. I walked into the first floor of my home and my wife dropped the breakfast she just made for her sister who was visiting. She didn't ask where I have been. She was just insanely happy to see me. I managed to let some words escape my lips.
"My meeting ran over babe, sorry." She gripped me even harder.
The hot dog that the little girl in front of me is starting to look tempting. I really would like one, or maybe even a soft pretzel. What inning are we in? As I looked at the scoreboard I remembered my dad bringing me just a couple of years back. Oh, it is the bottom of the 6th.
Come on Mariners!!!
User Reviews
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-07-29 00:29:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by BadAssJulie (user info) at 2006-07-28 19:33:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Didn't read it but have a +2 since it's not for the ADD thing.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-07-28 17:27:19 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-07-28 14:58:33 (#)
Ranking: -1
"The hot dog that the little girl in front of me is starting to look tempting."
Dude, I am getting sick and tired of reading your posts for this sole reason:
YOU JUST DON'T GET GRAMMAR.
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Who the fuck are you noob? So what if he makes a grammatical error, he's at least getting better and if you don't want to read his post, don't. It's fucking simple you miserable ass rancher.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-07-28 15:06:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I used to work in the Kingdome.
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-07-28 14:58:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
"The hot dog that the little girl in front of me is starting to look tempting."
Dude, I am getting sick and tired of reading your posts for this sole reason:
YOU JUST DON'T GET GRAMMAR.
*kills a puppy*
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-28 14:58:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is not an A.D.D. competition entry post
Submitted by BuckeyesTHEGAME (user info) at 2006-07-28 14:57:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
BA DA DA-DA-DA-DA!
BA DA DA-DA-DA-DA!
BA DA DA-DA-DA-DA!
BA-DA-DA-DA-DA- DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA!
I say don't you know. You say you don't know. I say....TAKE ME OUT!!
BA DA DA-DA-DA-DA!
BA DA DA-DA-DA-DA!
BA DA DA-DA-DA-DA!
BA-DA-DA-DA-DA- DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA-DA!
I know I won't be leaving here. I know I won't be leaving here. I know I won't be leaving here....
with you.
Submitted by recall (user info) at 2006-07-28 14:44:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-07-28 14:35:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Job well done, Sisqo. Oops, I'm not supposed to tell anyone your operative name, am I?
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-07-28 14:27:54 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I find myself dozing off whenever I read your posts...
http://www.ubersite.com/m/91034
http://www.ubersite.com/m/91034
http://www.ubersite.com/m/91034
http://www.ubersite.com/m/91034
http://www.ubersite.com/m/91034
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-28 14:25:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Skatch (user info) at 2006-07-28 14:24:27 (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHA MARINERS SUCK!!! GO CARDINALS!!!
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Go Cardinals Indeed.
Submitted by Skatch (user info) at 2006-07-28 14:24:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
HAHAHA MARINERS SUCK!!! GO CARDINALS!!!
+2 for the love of Baseball