ADD: Rickshaw Fantasies (606 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.19 on 36 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jack McCallum (View user info) at 2006-07-28 17:07:57 EDT
I only heard her speak once, in January, 1932.
I carried her everywhere. Many called her whore. Some called her concubine.
I called her Jia.
I was bold then, very young. I had not been with a woman.
The beauty who settled into my rickshaw with such grace she seemed to float down from the night sky never gave me her name.
"I am Xun," I said.
She said nothing.
I had seen women like her before and remembered what my father had told me. Women were like onions, some overpowering in their strength, some so sweet they made you drunk with their taste, but all had their mysteries, their secrets, layer upon layer and fold over fold protecting their inner self, and one can only learn the truth of that self over time, because it takes many years to peel away all of those layers and folds.
I asked if I may call her Jia.
She nodded.
I saw the beginning of a smile on lips sparkling in the light of my bouncing lantern like cherries plucked at dawn, speckled with dew.
She was beauty incarnate. One look at that face and I was helpless, a moth wanting only to burn in the fire smoldering in those eyes.
Instead, my job was to turn away from her and run. In some ways it was the best time of my life. I made little money, but I had friends across Shanghai. And I was very fit.
I think my physical condition helped me survive the trials to come.
I am frail now, and spend much of my time in bed, but I am not dead yet.
In dreams, in fantasies, beneath the sounds of my beating heart and steady breath and quick pace and the hum of the wheels, I hear rustling silk and soft sighs like a warm summer breeze and see pale limbs and red lips. The lacquered arms of the rickshaw become her legs, and I turn to face her, to fall into her.
My father drove the rickshaw during the day. When I was big enough and strong enough, I drove it through the night at a time when Shanghai never slept.
Jia only came out at night.
I met her in 1927.
Under her wrap she wore red silk with a pattern of white blossoms. Near Sinza Market she stepped into my rickshaw and gave me a piece of paper bearing an address. Her gloves were white. I stammered. She tilted her head to one side and her eyes widened. I forced myself to turn away.
She settled deeper into the seat. I heard the rustle of silk. Her dress, her stockings.
Those sounds went to my head like a cup of baijiu. I ran down the street alongside the Huangpu River with an erection dancing in my baggy peasant pants.
I hoped she would not smell my sweat and think me a beast of burden. I avoided pebbles, was careful when accelerating and slowing, to give her a smooth ride.
When I left her before a rich man's house, she raised a slender wrist, showing me a jeweled watch. She held up two fingers and turned away.
Two hours later I returned, and she appeared. I took her back to Sinza Market and watched her disappear into the shadows.
I found a shadow of my own under a neglected pier.
My plan was to masturbate and fantasize about her, but the moment my engorged flesh was released into the cool evening air I ejaculated a long pearlescent ribbon that seemed to glow as it was carried away by the river.
For five years I carried her across Shanghai. She paid well, but even if I had saved every coin I still could not have afforded one night of her company.
Yet I saw her almost every night, something the richest man in the city could not have afforded. I saw her happy, I saw her pensive, and I saw her cry.
Once when she was crying I stopped the rickshaw and told her I wished more than anything for a clean swatch of silk with which she could dry her tears.
She leaned forward and pulled me close, dabbing at her eyes with the worn, sweat-dampened sleeve of my shirt.
For years I carried her. She never spoke. I grew from boy to man, graduated from spending every night masturbating with an animalistic fury while imagining her pale and naked and eager to serve my every whim to simply thinking of her before sleep in the hope she would speak to me in my dreams.
I told her of struggles in school, fights with my father and my fears for the future, with the shadow of Japan looming over us. She never spoke.
It ended in 1932.
The January 28 Incident was weeks away, as was all of the horror to come, the horror inflicted upon us by the Japanese.
She must have known what was coming. One night she removed her glove, touched my cheek, and said, "Goodbye."
I watched her walk into the shadows of Sinza Market, and never saw her again.
I survived war with Japan, mass slaughter during the invasion.
I worked with the Chungking Underground, passing messages, making explosives, and killing one Chinese official working with the Japanese. I poured acid down the traitor's throat while he slept. By the time he was awake and aware, he was unable to shout. His bubbling cries for help were as soft as the whisper of silk.
I searched Shanghai for Jia, but she was gone.
I survived the world war and the Cultural Revolution.
I married and had children, and we all made our way to America.
I have seen my children's children's children.
I have seen and done many things, and should be content.
Yet now, so near the end, I once again fantasize about the silent beauty in my rickshaw so long ago, and wonder what became of her.
[1003 words. 1000 words, not counting the title. You see, I wrote 500 words, then, uh, forgot, so I wrote another 500 words, and here is the result. Over the word limit? Blame it on ADD.]
User Reviews
Submitted by Bundaberg (user info) at 2006-07-29 16:05:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by HotWillie (user info) at 2006-07-29 15:35:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-29 01:20:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Needs more mint handjob.
Women don't like being compared to onions.
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-07-29 01:10:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
+2 because I cheated too.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-07-29 01:02:06 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-07-28 22:41:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-07-28 22:20:51 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-07-28 22:12:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
Jack, I got 10 bucks says OathUnderMealyMouth is another Sphag alter. . .
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WHY R U OBZESD W ME IZ IT CUZ IM BETTR DEN U I THINK IT IS HAHAHAHA ROFLCOPSANDDONUTS
______________________________
Rave on, catshit, you will be gone soon. . .
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-07-28 22:20:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-07-28 22:12:26 (#)
Ranking: 2
Jack, I got 10 bucks says OathUnderMealyMouth is another Sphag alter. . .
===
WHY R U OBZESD W ME IZ IT CUZ IM BETTR DEN U I THINK IT IS HAHAHAHA ROFLCOPSANDDONUTS
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-07-28 22:12:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jack, I got 10 bucks says OathUnderMealyMouth is another Sphag alter. . .
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-07-28 22:07:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
-2 for too long
+1 cuz I'm baked.
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2006-07-28 21:55:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-07-28 19:56:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-28 19:28:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
See?
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-28 19:28:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This is twice as long. I'll give it two +2s
Submitted by Wildman (user info) at 2006-07-28 19:19:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No likie.
Too longie.
Submitted by Caulaincourt (user info) at 2006-07-28 18:09:15 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://tinyurl.com/rptvt
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-07-28 17:53:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like it.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-07-28 17:48:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2006-07-28 17:42:05 (#)
Ranking: 2
Needed more mint oil handjobs Jack!
--
When I get one, the story gets one.
Jack comes first.
Well, not... you know what I mean.
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2006-07-28 17:42:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Needed more mint oil handjobs Jack!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-07-28 17:32:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by gonefiguring (user info) at 2006-07-28 17:29:42 (#)
Ranking: 2
I like this ADD thing. And I like the filename.
--
Glad someone noticed.
Okay, back to work.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-07-28 17:32:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I guess I should have written about this guy...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_G._Shaw
'Richard G. Shaw: Adventures of an Insurance Commissioner'
It sure as hell would have been short.
Submitted by Coleslaw_Murphy (user info) at 2006-07-28 17:31:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Was your rickshaw sittin on 22's, mayne? Was they spinnin?
Submitted by gonefiguring (user info) at 2006-07-28 17:29:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like this ADD thing. And I like the filename.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-07-28 17:29:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-07-28 17:11:43 (#)
Ranking: 0
this has to be over the limit. Has to be. You're Jack McCallum
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HAHAHAHAHA!!!
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-07-28 17:28:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
I should do a compilation of all my recent fiction post ratings, showing how Wiggles and KindaNews have hit every one.
For guys who hate me so much they sure hang on every word.
They LOVE every word.
They just can't admit it.
They are like people who say 'Fuck junk food, man, I eat healthy every day,' and then binge on Twinkies when no one is around.
The bottom line?
I am a Twinkie.
Wait...
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-07-28 17:25:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
They have a point. But they're still idiots. Even if scourge doesn't reject it, and I doubt he will, Feety has this thing wrapped up.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-07-28 17:24:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-28 14:00:39 (#)
Ranking: 2
Word count is unimportant Mr. McCallum. I would say a solid third of those already in have broken it. Think ballpark...
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Honestly, this fucker could have been 20 pages long. For me, this is restrained.
Submitted by Wiggles (user info) at 2006-07-28 17:23:17 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-07-28 17:15:45 (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2006-07-28 17:12:00 (#)
Ranking: -2
Twice as long.
-4.
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Why the fuck do I even bother...
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You write 1000 words for a contest that says 500 words or less and get pissy when someone calls you on it? Arrogant bitch.
Submitted by Susie_Derkins (user info) at 2006-07-28 17:22:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Fuck the rules, I liked it.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-07-28 17:20:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very good, got better as it went along.
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-07-28 17:20:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
What contest?
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-07-28 17:18:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
*sigh* it is good though... it's just not ADD
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-07-28 17:16:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I am getting tired of Sfagnum alters trolling around this fucking place.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-07-28 17:15:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2006-07-28 17:12:00 (#)
Ranking: -2
Twice as long.
-4.
--
Why the fuck do I even bother...
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2006-07-28 17:12:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Twice as long.
-4.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-07-28 17:11:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
this has to be over the limit. Has to be. You're Jack McCallum
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-07-28 17:08:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Rick Shaw fantasies?
Fuck you, man.
I ain't no ass-bandit.