ADD - Weren't You Someone Once? (853 hits)
Category: NoneLabels: ADD
Rating: 1.5 on 10 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Spencer Thompson (View user info) at 2006-07-29 15:48:34 EDT
Ted rolled over onto his back to face the morning. He turned on the news and watched The Today Show. It was the only constant in his life anymore that wasn't prescribed to him by a doctor or paid for in the dead of night. He stared woozily at the screen, wishing he still had a job to get ready for.
He hadn't showered in three days. It wasn't because he was too lazy to shower, but because there was a picture hanging on the wall outside the shower. A picture that used to greet him and make his every morning bright. Now he couldn't stand to face it, but today he would have to. He was supposed to go to the pharmacist today. He trudged drearily down the hall, trying not to look at the picture hung just outside the door, but he couldn't help bu wanting to remember what his life once was...
It was a fair. The county fair. He was standing, smiling, all of his closest friends and family to his side. He had his wife and his oldest daughter in his hands, and at his feet was a swarm of his young admirers, all wanting only to be in the picture with their hero. Behind them loomed a monstrous object, an dark orange mass that could have easily crushed the entire group posing for the delightful picture. Next to the picture Ted had framed a newspaper clipping:
"Easton Man Grows World's Largest Pumpkin - 1250 Lbs."
He sighed. He would have cried a few weeks ago. He dropped his head and climbed into the shower, not once looking up from the floor.
He didn't bother to get a towel, simply sitting on his bed and shivering lightly as he watched some guy on The Today Show. After seeing the picture, he couldn't stop thinking now of the newspaper clipping under his bed. He didn't want to see it, but he had to see it. If only to reaffirm why he was so miserable, he had to see it.
On his knees he reached under the bed and found the clipping. The paper was wet from his hands, but he could still read the headline clearly:
"German Grows 1385 Lb. Pumpkin - New World Record!"
User Reviews
Submitted by electrictoothsyndrome (user info) at 2006-08-11 03:35:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Don't
Submitted by Beano312003 (user info) at 2006-07-31 07:52:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-07-31 04:31:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by recall (user info) at 2006-07-30 14:37:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I loved this.
Submitted by phauna (user info) at 2006-07-29 18:04:11 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Those fucking Germans.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-29 16:50:42 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I loved this one Mr Spencer.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-29 16:17:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
go Easton woo
Submitted by SPECIALk (user info) at 2006-07-29 16:17:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
aaahahahahaha....i love you
Submitted by Bundaberg (user info) at 2006-07-29 16:03:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by DonovanMD (user info) at 2006-07-29 15:54:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This contest rocks because I get to see above average writing from most of Ubers best writers. And isnt this what most of us came here for in the first place?
Good shit Spence.