A.D.D Mystery Meat (411 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.75 on 11 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by RockDocc (View user info) at 2006-07-30 18:20:44 EDT
"Impossible!"
"What?"
"There's no writing on this MRE box!"
"What do you mean?"
"As in 'I have no fucking clue what I'm about to eat"
"I don't think that's any different than my current situation"
: "yeah, but you've got ChiliMac"
"Our god is indeed an awesome god"
"You took the last ChiliMac and left me with the MRE of Doom"
"Isn't he a great god? Listen, this shit can't kill you"
"Ever hear of the five fingers of death?"
'That was a few years ago, besides the government covered it up, said they were killed by a marauding pack of poodles or something"
"And the public bought into it?"
"It was better than saying that we've been eating the FDA approved version of Soylent green"
"I don't think the Five Fingers of Death were FDA approved"
"Course they were, how else do you think we got them?"
"Somebody decided to make a deal with Satan for a few hotdogs and a powdered drink"
"Don't diss the powdered drinks, those things are awesome"
"Only the vanilla, chocolate sucks"
"You're getting off topic, what about your MRE?"
"Fine, guess I'll take a crack at it, I need to eat something"
Hopsitalman 3rd Class Shiver slowly tore open the unknown MRE, dreading both its contents and the constipation that would surely follow. "Tabasco, Tabasco, Tabasco..." He repeated this mantra over and over, hoping that there was indeed Tabasco in the box, praying that there could be something to mask the horrid taste; when his friend's head exploded.
"SHIT!"
Shiver looked around; there was no one in sight, no more rounds coming in, nothing.
He reached for the still cooking ChiliMac, discarding his MRE as he turned.
"Sweet"
User Reviews
Submitted by SIC (user info) at 2006-08-01 22:41:12 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Ahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-07-31 07:02:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-07-31 05:30:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by rockdocc (user info) at 2006-07-31 04:28:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
damn. did you at least the jalapeno cheese and hot pepper?
that's what makes that shit good.
on another note, has anyone here tried the MRE cake? Supposedly you take your canteen cup, fill it a 1/4 full of water, add the chocolate powder, then add m&m's or whatever else you want in it. Put it on a running Humvee engine, wait a minute; and voila! Cake.
kind of afraid to try it.
Submitted by Demos74 (user info) at 2006-07-31 00:56:05 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
how about tit for tit?
Anyways, I'd rather have mystery meat than chilimac anyday of my life, but chilimac was served for lunch everyday during basic so you probaly understand where I'm coming from.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-31 00:30:22 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
nicely done
Submitted by fun_with_needles (user info) at 2006-07-30 23:16:16 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The strawberry milkshake kicks fucking sooo much ass its not even funny.
Submitted by rockdocc (user info) at 2006-07-30 18:56:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by KevinHo (user info) at 2006-07-30 18:26:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
No Comment
Submitted by Antioxident (user info) at 2006-07-30 18:23:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i laughed
Submitted by rockdocc (user info) at 2006-07-30 18:21:40 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
hmm, so I wrote it in about 20 minutes. with the dialog unlabeled.
little tip,
Shiver starts and ends the conversation. It goes tit for tat.