A.D.D. - How He Died and How She Lived (470 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.11 on 9 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by ReCall (View user info) at 2006-07-31 11:08:03 EDT
Competition: http://www.ubersite.com/m/91007
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How He Died and How She Lived
There was an unusual silence within the walls of the small, two bedroom apartment. Silence, save for the sound of his feet making the hardwood floors groan ever so slightly.
It was a little after 6:00 p.m. and after making his own dinner for the first time in a long time, Teddy slumped down into his curbside worthy couch with his easy-mac in one hand and a bud light in the other. As he reached over to place the beer down on the side table so that he could free up his hand for the use of a remote, he felt a flat object down by his pinky. He slowly turned and looked at what he brushed up against.
"A coaster? I don't think so, bitch."
He flicked the cardboard coaster off the table while still holding his beer, managing to spill a minuscule amount of bud onto the table. After watching the cardboard coaster quickly sail the floor without a trace of delight that he thought he might have from being such a reckless pig, he sunk down a bit farther into the couch, flipped on the television and started watching the tail end of a Cops marathon.
After taking a couple of quick bites he sat the plate down on his lap and turned to grab his beer but the coaster caught his eye. It was screaming at him in the most soothing voice.
"Ted, please use the coasters. You know how humid it gets and it will ruin the end table. Your grandfather made it for you for Christ's sake, just take care of it!"
"Why don't YOU use a fucking coaster," he yelled aloud, knowing a well deserved rebuttal was never going to come.
Ted picked up his beer and sure enough, a ring of precipitation had formed a perfect circle onto the mahogany.
He took a sip and noticed the beer tasted just a bit salty.
He didn't notice his hand start shaking, nor could he as the first of many tears started to stream down his face. After the bottle dropped, covering the floor with foam and cheap beer, he buried his face into his hands and wept, praying someone would come along and help him clean up.
User Reviews
Submitted by phauna (user info) at 2006-08-01 08:03:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Coasters, eh?
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-31 23:08:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2006-07-31 17:59:43 (#)
Ranking: 2
I... think I liked this.
Submitted by Life101 (user info) at 2006-07-31 19:09:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-07-31 18:47:20 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Ballare (user info) at 2006-07-31 17:59:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I... think I liked this.
Submitted by DCWoody (user info) at 2006-07-31 16:46:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
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Submitted by recall (user info) at 2006-07-31 15:07:42 (#)
Ranking: -2
Translated from binary to english this says:
Ttb l.10elal,v a.aleuasthke ttas
seani rhryst iixnncsbtheiDo teohg
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It would be better if you actually knew binary, you cum guzzling party bitch.
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Wrong bitch, http://www.ubersite.com/m/91186#2081560
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-31 11:18:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
not sure what to think about this one.
Submitted by hour_man (user info) at 2006-07-31 11:14:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I don't know if I like this or not. Something was off beat. I get the concept. Hmmm. Have a +1 for now.
Submitted by ih8u2man (user info) at 2006-07-31 11:11:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
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