ADD: Amy’s Abortion (930 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.8 on 37 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by Jack McCallum (View user info) at 2006-07-31 13:55:33 EDT
Amy is resting.
With luck, she will survive. She is young, and strong.
The bus station is not far from her humble apartment.
My instruments are once again spotless. The gleaming stainless steel has been packed away in my satchel.
I have restored order to her kitchen, cleaning the floor, the sink, and the table where I prevented my own destruction.
The table where I dined.
I washed and dried the dishes I used, and put them away.
While I ate, I reflected upon the fact that this procedure was more challenging than most.
Amy was six months pregnant.
A man less skilled would have lost the mother, but I have been doing this a long time.
I want no innocent blood on my hands.
I want only to destroy the destroyers.
I succeeded, once again.
Since this child was larger than most, I was able to be more creative than usual.
Instead of swallowing the budding malignancy like an oyster, I roasted it, like a squab.
Amy had a kitchen better stocked than those of most of the single mothers I have visited.
I was able to make a fine stuffing, with apples, walnuts, and a little bacon.
It was merely a handful placed inside the tiny torso, you understand, but it was a wonderful addition to my usual repast of bitter flesh.
Now I am ready to go into the night, and seek out the next destroyer, as they are always eager to be born, eager to come for me.
There are Amys everywhere.
Innocent incubators for the destroyers.
I seek them out, and destroy the children that would destroy me.
I am Cronus, destroying Zeus, before he can destroy me.
I am Cronus, preserving the Golden Age of man and forestalling times of torment and confusion.
This I must do. If the destroyer reaches maturity, there will come a day when his head will be split by an axe and from his cloven skull will spring forth an armed Warrior Goddess. As she walks this world, she will change it for the worse.
Women must remain weak. They must.
Without a Warrior Goddess, women will remain as they were intended.
Thus, my unending quest to destroy the destroyer.
The stars look down on me, every one in its proper place.
Do I need further proof my cause is just?
After an hour spent at an internet café, I locate another Amy.
She is three months pregnant.
Perfect.
I have my bus ticket in hand, my satchel, and my instruments.
I also have a tiny wrapped parcel containing bones. I will dispose of them on the road.
I have an address, and a photo of a winsome young mother-not-to-be.
I will be seeing her soon.
User Reviews
Submitted by hidden101 (user info) at 2006-12-31 03:09:43 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
damn fine writing and a Cronus reference.
Submitted by mynameisandy (user info) at 2006-12-31 02:58:28 EST (#)
Ranking: 1
"I was able to make a fine stuffing, with apples, walnuts, and a little bacon."
Made me chuckle.
Submitted by Bigmike (user info) at 2006-08-01 18:53:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Highly enjoyable.
Submitted by Berty (user info) at 2006-08-01 08:56:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Very Bigmike.
Submitted by phauna (user info) at 2006-08-01 08:30:34 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Good.
Submitted by CaptainThorns (user info) at 2006-08-01 08:13:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Note to self: never click on ANY Uber post with "abortion" in the title while eating.
Submitted by icarus1987 (user info) at 2006-08-01 07:42:26 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Sup-fucking-erb.
Submitted by fun_with_needles (user info) at 2006-08-01 00:50:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Goddamn.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-08-01 00:35:23 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
on a happier note: Castro's toast
i wonder how fucked-up his bro's gonna turn out?
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-08-01 00:30:46 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
smallest MRR i've ever seen
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-08-01 00:27:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
i liked the old-time negro harmony group
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-01 00:02:52 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Anyone happen to catch any of yet another fucking talent show called 'Star Tomorrow?'
It was pretty routine and dull... but they had a band called (I think) Big Toe.
The lead singer was a guy born without arms, guitar flat on the floor, and he played it with his toes.
I'll be goddamned if they didn't sound fucking great.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-07-31 23:55:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2006-07-31 23:41:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
At first I thought that guy was chewing his own balls off.
--
Ever take a deep drag off a smoke and then immediatly explode with laughter?
That's some raw shit, man.
Submitted by shitfuck (user info) at 2006-07-31 23:41:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
At first I thought that guy was chewing his own balls off.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-07-31 23:20:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
From the uberboard...
Whysenheimer = KindaNews = ThoreauMe = Sphagnum
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2006-07-31 22:35:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
I shall not negatively rate something this gross.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-07-31 22:27:18 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
gimmie a moo
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-07-31 22:26:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-07-31 21:54:03 (#)
Ranking: 2
i bet you're the one that always pee's on the barbecue
__________________________________
You make that sound like a bad thing. . . . .
Submitted by Jeanneee (user info) at 2006-07-31 22:14:43 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I threw up a little, in my mouth
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-07-31 21:54:03 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
i bet you're the one that always pee's on the barbecue
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-07-31 20:35:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-07-31 19:52:14 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-07-31 19:25:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-07-31 17:31:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by whysenheimer (user info) at 2006-07-31 17:25:13 (#)
Ranking: 2
The less you write the better I like it.
--
So, how does this fit in with your 'I like less' theory?
'Go fuck yourself.'
Submitted by whysenheimer (user info) at 2006-07-31 17:25:13 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
The less you write the better I like it.
Submitted by runswithscissors (user info) at 2006-07-31 15:55:38 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
oh.
my.
god.
Submitted by Cyrus (user info) at 2006-07-31 15:36:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by recall (user info) at 2006-07-31 14:52:56 (#)
Ranking: 2
Jesus.
-------------------------------
my immediate reaction also...
Submitted by recall (user info) at 2006-07-31 14:52:56 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Jesus.
Submitted by DudeThatsBOSH (user info) at 2006-07-31 14:44:47 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
ok this was good
but..
http://www.ubersite.com/m/91062
i mean come on
lets be serial.
Submitted by FilthyAssistant (user info) at 2006-07-31 14:36:36 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bah, yours is more disturbing than mine: http://www.ubersite.com/m/91088
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-07-31 14:34:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
This made me cringe. I'll +2 it.
I like it when Scourge pays attention to my preferences.
Submitted by scourge (user info) at 2006-07-31 14:20:53 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I plus two everything.
Sacrilicious hates that.
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-07-31 14:11:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
my daughter's name is Amy.
And she's pregnant.
I shuddered.
Submitted by professorfuckface (user info) at 2006-07-31 14:08:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
http://www.gabbly.com/www.ubersite.com
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-07-31 14:04:49 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
FUCKING TWISTED.
I liked it. I am hungry too.
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-07-31 13:59:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Quite depressing.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-07-31 13:56:37 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Under 500 words.
Damn it.
Now I'm hungry.