Throes of Boredom (278 hits)
Category: NoneRating: -1.56 on 18 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by RotogenRay (View user info) at 2006-08-03 14:29:45 EDT
I was bored: to begin with. There was no doubt about it. I had spent fruitless hours staring off into space, contemplating the universe. I had come to the conclusion that all the great philosophical revelations had been the harvest of idle minds. The nuts of nuts, if you will. The evidence of my bored existence lay strewn around my cluttered den like so many fallen soldiers on the field of battle, yet again, like the numerable strange analogies in this very text. A disordered hodgepodge of assorted strange contraptions and whatnot that I had spent my days collecting. These many gadgets and piles of junk had found their way out of my room and settled like coral upon my floor of wooden tile, gently ebbing and flowing as I occasionally searched through the potpourri to find a misplaced key or a long-forgotten sock.
After several hours of staring and contemplation a bowel movement like the rushing of a great river of crap into my colon caused a fierce grumbling down-under. I stirred from my dazed state and stumbled to the bathroom. It was as hot and suitable for microorganisms as it ever was. As I sat at ease relieving myself I thought of how I might also free myself from boredom's loose, yet overpowering grip. There was a problem. I needed an input- a source to occupy my time and thoughts, yet I also desired to bitch about my life. I desired not to write in my blog (which no one reads anyways) and when I thought of Ubersite a shudder ran down my spine and into my colon causing a massive crap-cannon to fire off. There was no way in hell I could talk about my life to an online community so upstanding and fierce as the fine people at Ubersite. My flesh would be rendered from my bones as I read the horrific and gruesome comments on the utter load of shit I had just written, and I wold be banished from them forevermore...
Unless...
Unless my life sounded interesting. Unless I could string together pretty words and put an eloquent spin on it. I flushed the turd-berg... twice... three times... it still smells, four... Ahh.
Sweet release in writing...
This has been my day, except most of this was in my mind.
One last thing.
The great and powerful Shlongy has graced me with his -2. Me, little old me...
I will indeed read al his posts, in time.
I am truly blessed...
User Reviews
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-08-03 16:30:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Hostility is the calling card of a weak intellect.
-----
Just because you don't know the rules around here is no reason to piddle in your panties - we've been handling folks like you for a LONG time now, junior.
READ. LEARN. EVOLVE.
Submitted by Antioxident (user info) at 2006-08-03 16:26:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I was bored: With this post
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-08-03 16:20:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
"Hostility is the calling card of a weak intellect."
-------
*ponders*
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-03 16:12:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Are you shitting me?
Shlongy is loved so much around here the fucking dump of a website closes down if I don't stop by for three days.
Submitted by RotogenRay (user info) at 2006-08-03 16:08:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Well well well. Seems people don't take too kindly to shlongy kindness round' these parts.
I don't care. He's a funny guy. How about sell your stuff to me, huh?
Hostility is the calling card of a weak intellect. Sure, I may be a n00b at this, but at least I'm not a pompus asswipe like some people...
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-08-03 15:44:55 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Here's my -2 - it's not QUITE as valued as a Shlongee -2, but still worth something.
Submitted by GetNakeddd (user info) at 2006-08-03 15:43:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
My eyes hurt
Just thought you should know
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-08-03 15:37:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Yuck.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-03 15:15:32 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-08-03 15:03:28 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-03 14:59:10 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-08-03 14:51:28 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-03 14:48:50 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-08-03 14:35:04 (#)
Ranking: -2
Fucking n00bs and their shlongy obsession...
Not that I am not obsessed with him but come on, is this really needed? (I use needed because I can't spell nesecary, nessecary, nesseccary, nesesary, WTF????)
_______________________________
Necessary. See how simple that was?
If Shlongy says the dude is an idiot, so be it. . . . . .
=========
AHHHHHHH
C before S
Fucking n00b...
_______________________________
Yes, compared to you, I am a n00b. But I also surpass you in intellect, charisma,
class, style, and probably dick length. . . :)
Damn, you're easy. . .
===========
I was calling myself a n00b, now you may have a better intellect, more charisma, class style and a bigger member but I... Ummmm...
Fuck.
___________________________________
Bob bob bob my Loba, da da da da da,
Little bitty wangy dude, da da da da da. . . ..
-Teh Clash-
Submitted by ubetidid (user info) at 2006-08-03 15:08:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: -1
No Comment
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-08-03 15:03:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-03 14:59:10 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-08-03 14:51:28 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-03 14:48:50 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-08-03 14:35:04 (#)
Ranking: -2
Fucking n00bs and their shlongy obsession...
Not that I am not obsessed with him but come on, is this really needed? (I use needed because I can't spell nesecary, nessecary, nesseccary, nesesary, WTF????)
_______________________________
Necessary. See how simple that was?
If Shlongy says the dude is an idiot, so be it. . . . . .
=========
AHHHHHHH
C before S
Fucking n00b...
_______________________________
Yes, compared to you, I am a n00b. But I also surpass you in intellect, charisma,
class, style, and probably dick length. . . :)
Damn, you're easy. . .
===========
I was calling myself a n00b, now you may have a better intellect, more charisma, class style and a bigger member but I... Ummmm...
Fuck.
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-03 14:59:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-08-03 14:51:28 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-03 14:48:50 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-08-03 14:35:04 (#)
Ranking: -2
Fucking n00bs and their shlongy obsession...
Not that I am not obsessed with him but come on, is this really needed? (I use needed because I can't spell nesecary, nessecary, nesseccary, nesesary, WTF????)
_______________________________
Necessary. See how simple that was?
If Shlongy says the dude is an idiot, so be it. . . . . .
=========
AHHHHHHH
C before S
Fucking n00b...
_______________________________
Yes, compared to you, I am a n00b. But I also surpass you in intellect, charisma,
class, style, and probably dick length. . . :)
Damn, you're easy. . .
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-08-03 14:51:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-03 14:48:50 (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-08-03 14:35:04 (#)
Ranking: -2
Fucking n00bs and their shlongy obsession...
Not that I am not obsessed with him but come on, is this really needed? (I use needed because I can't spell nesecary, nessecary, nesseccary, nesesary, WTF????)
_______________________________
Necessary. See how simple that was?
If Shlongy says the dude is an idiot, so be it. . . . . .
=========
AHHHHHHH
C before S
Fucking n00b...
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-03 14:48:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-08-03 14:35:04 (#)
Ranking: -2
Fucking n00bs and their shlongy obsession...
Not that I am not obsessed with him but come on, is this really needed? (I use needed because I can't spell nesecary, nessecary, nesseccary, nesesary, WTF????)
_______________________________
Necessary. See how simple that was?
If Shlongy says the dude is an idiot, so be it. . . . . .
Submitted by Shlongy (user info) at 2006-08-03 14:44:30 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
This + is only because of your good taste in posts. Specifically , Shlongy posts.
Other than that, this is shit.
Submitted by sicosemen (user info) at 2006-08-03 14:37:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
I second whatever the person below me said.
Submitted by BobLobla (user info) at 2006-08-03 14:35:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Fucking n00bs and their shlongy obsession...
Not that I am not obsessed with him but come on, is this really needed? (I use needed because I can't spell nesecary, nessecary, nesseccary, nesesary, WTF????)
Submitted by Plint (user info) at 2006-08-03 14:30:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Ranking: -2
http://members.on.nimp.org/?u=timecop