St. Eubrie: Lambert Warfield, R.F.D. (1155 hits)
Category: NoneRating: 1.69 on 14 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by fried-green-potatoes (View user info) at 2006-08-05 12:49:41 EDT
The frosted glass in the door marked "St. Eubrie Schooner-Beacon" was shaking with the ruckus inside. I slipped into the office to see the sports editor with full nelson around Lorraine, the city desk reporter and only legitimate journalist for the little rag. Dave was once the town's high school wrestling champ. But the sports editor's round face was turning crimson as he struggled to restrain Lorraine, a 5-foot-6 woman who barely broke 115 pounds soaking wet.
"I'll fucking kill you, Lenny!" Lorraine screamed. She used Dave's hold for leverage and kicked her legs out, just missing the face of editor-in-chief Leonard Mason, who was cowering in the corner. "You did this out of spite!"
"Rainey, please! I can't send anyone else," Leonard was wimpering. "It's Lambert Warfield.The Lambert story needs your touch, Rainey!"
"Oh, I'll give yous touch, ya little cunt!" Lorraine yelled at her boss. Fury was bringing out the Brooklyn in her. "I'll touch yous like daddy used to!"
That got a cackle out of Marguerite, the secretary and circulation manager who was sitting in the corner and filing her nails. She pretty much hated them both, so this Monday morning couldn't have turned out better. When the action showed signs of dying, Marguerite was quick to jump in with calls of "Kill him, Rainey!" and "Fire her, Leonard!"
"Get over here, you fucking hack!" Lorraine yelled, kicking hard at Leonard again.
"Ow! Jesus, Rainey! Get off my goddam hair!" Dave yelled as the woman's flailing hands found two hunks of his long blond mane.
"Dude, I'm good...I'm good...I'm good...I'm good," Lorraine began chanting in a low, calm voice to Dave. She sold it. Dave relaxed his grip and picked up a nearby hand mirror to inspect for damage.
That was all Lorraine needed. She grabbed the roller of a broken Underwood typewriter at charged at Leonard. He screamed and ran inside his office. Dave tackled Lorraine and Marguerite doubled over laughing.
"Fire her, L...," the secretary yelled again, tears streaming down her face. "Oh Jesus! I think I'm pissing myself."
"What's going on?"
Marguerite looked at me and smiled. She hadn't noticed my entrance and was happy to have someone to hear the tale, start to finish. The Schooner-Beacon was about to start its "Helpful Hands for Heating" series. It was an annual charity drive to raise cash for people in St. Eubrie who couldn't make their heating bills in the harsh winter months. The paper ran little essays on those who needed help-- single mothers, vets living on shitty pensions and the like. Little slips of paper were distributed on reporter's desks around the room. Written on them were the names, addresses and phone numbers of people the Schooner-Beacon would profile in 450 words or less.
"She drew Lambert Warfield," the secretary said, nodding to Lorraine.
"Who's Lambert Warfied?"
"Batshit crazy—that's who he is!" Lorraine screamed from somewhere under Dave. "I did the piece on him last year. The fucker came at me with a Confederate sword!"
"Rainey, that's why I need an experienced, veteran reporter like you to...." Leonard was cooing from behind his office door.
"Oh, fuck you, Lenny!" Lorraine screamed. "You change my slip or I'm quitting! Quitting, asshole! Let's see you run this rag on your own!"
Leonard's door squeaked open and he peered out. He was a slight man of 35, not much bigger than Lorraine, a former adjunct professor for a nearby community college. He always wore a sheepish grin, as if he expected to be found out any moment. Leonard saw that Dave's hold on his best reporter was solid before he slid out into the newsroom. With a big theatrical sigh, Leonard traded my slip of paper for Lorraine's and then eased back behind his door, locking it shut.
Dave rolled off Lorraine. She walked over to Marguerite's desk, reached into the bottom drawer and pulled out the office's worst kept secret: the half-pint of Jim Beam that Marguerite always had stashed.
"I don't need need this shit on a Monday morning," Lorraine said, swallowing hard off the flask and ignoring Marguerite's glare. Lorraine snatched the scrap of paper off her desk and read the name of her new lead.
"Ok, fine. Whatever," she said as she slammed out the door.
Forty-five minutes later, I was headed to my car with Lambert Warfield's name and address stuffed into my pocket.
"Dude, get over here."
It was Lorraine, sitting in her car. She was leaning her chin on arms draped over the steering wheel. Lorraine was staring into space, wearing the big, dark, round sunglasses she often favored on days when she seemed to hate her job and her life.
"Listen... uh, sorry you got my slip.... No hard feelings, huh?" she said through the half-open window.
"It's all good. Don't worry about it," I said with a smile.
"Yeah, right," she said, a dark undernote to her voice.
I was putting my car in drive when I heard someone tapping on the passenger window. It was Lorraine again. I opened the window, and she reached in, opened the door and slid in. I watched in silence as she sat there in the passenger seat for a good thirty seconds, rubbing her temples behind those I-don't-give-a-fuck sunglasses.
"Dude.... Uh, Jim...it's Jim, right?"
I nodded.
"Jim... there's some stuff you need to understand about Lambert before you go out," she said. I let her continue.
"First off.... Uh..... You're not part-Mexican are you?"
(continued when I can)
User Reviews
Submitted by Fey (user info) at 2007-02-19 13:27:35 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Crystle (user info) at 2006-11-01 19:24:11 EST (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by Brdn_Nkd (user info) at 2006-08-09 14:12:51 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
No Comment
Submitted by Stagger_Lee (user info) at 2006-08-09 00:14:27 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Needs polish and probably should be about twice as long.
Submitted by DrogoRoch (user info) at 2006-08-07 11:17:04 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like this town.
Submitted by kaos-king (user info) at 2006-08-07 00:52:31 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Yeah, the dialogue all seemed a bit the same, but I really enjoyed the interaction itself.
Submitted by fried-green-potatoes (user info) at 2006-08-06 19:27:28 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
This one doesn't quite scour, I guess. Silly mistakes. A little self-indulgent roaming in the memory vault at the expense of story focus (Lambert and his daughter, Secessia). Should have put it aside for a day or two before posting. I'll try to step it up a little in the next one.
Glad you liked the Lorraine character, though, Sacrilicious. One of the first reporters I ever worked with-- and one of the best.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-06 15:43:07 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
The two main characters sound like they spend a lot of time in Marin county sharing a bong.
This is good, and has potential though, so I won't be cunty.
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2006-08-06 14:55:59 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Your dialogue sounds like it's all coming from the same person.
I guess in this small town, everyone talks like a twenty-something.
If I can read a story and know who's speaking without the author telling me, that's good writing.
Nice that you didn't feel the need to have some wild "twist" at the end, though.
Submitted by Sacrilicious (user info) at 2006-08-06 12:36:21 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Introducing several characters at once can be confusing, but this was written really well so it wasn't a problem in my opinion.
I like this Lorraine character.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-08-05 22:27:35 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-08-05 22:23:22 (#)
Ranking: 2
i support this series
Submitted by forensicgirl3 (user info) at 2006-08-05 19:58:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Nice!
Submitted by Bubba2341 (user info) at 2006-08-05 16:04:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I expect the next part to be more awesome than the first. I had no problem
with multiple characters in the first scene, but maybe I'm just a twisted fuck. . .
Submitted by awesome_face (user info) at 2006-08-05 13:41:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I like the first person view here but it's a little confusing. Alot of characters at once.