San Francisco Bum Conversation (498 hits)
Category: GeneralRating: 1.14 on 16 reviews (Rate this item) (V)
Submitted by calbearspolo (View user info) at 2006-08-06 17:28:33 EDT
An interesting exchange I just had Friday with a San Francisco bum:
me: *minding my own damn business trying to hobble across the street on my crutches*
bum: Hey man, you got something for me [runs up to me, rattles change in cup]?
me: I might, you'll have to give me a minute... *crutching across the street = no free hands*
bum: Nah man, I know you gots some.
me: Hold on dude!
bum: Youz a cheap nigga, look a' choo wit yo fancy suit on.
me: Dude, you've got to be kidding me. Look at me, I have a broken ankle and I am in the middle of crossing the street. My first priority is not getting hit by a damn bus before that little red hand stops blinking.
bum: Jus gimmie some money man.
me: Hold-the-fuck on dude!
Bum: com'mon mahn, help me oouut!
me: At the risk of sounding like a dick, what do you do for a living?
bum: I ain't got no job man, I'z disabled.
me: *looking at him up and down* Dare I even say it, are you serious?
bum: yeah man.
me: Do you see any irony in that you are asking a man, who is cripple himself, for money because you can't work because of disability?
bum: sheet man.
me. Here I am crutching my gimp ass around the street trying to get from a meeting to my office, and you are going to tell me that you are less able than I?
bum: fuh cue mahn. Juss fuh cue.
Maybe it's me, but badgering and swearing at people doesn't strike me as the way to get money from strangers.
User Reviews
Submitted by OfficeZombie (user info) at 2006-08-13 18:51:08 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You should of bashed his frail worthless body with your crutch. Nobody would of missed him.
Submitted by JonnyX (user info) at 2006-08-08 17:06:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-08-07 08:31:29 (#)
Ranking: 2
Next time, ask him to hold one of your crutches and beat him in the face with the other one.
Submitted by BLITZKREIG_BOB (user info) at 2006-08-07 11:58:58 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
Damn bums.
You sohuld have made him fight another bum for a sandwich.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-08-07 08:32:02 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
You gotta use 2 hands when swinging a crutch at a filthy beggar.
Submitted by TheSpook (user info) at 2006-08-07 08:31:29 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Next time, ask him to hold one of your crutches and beat him in the face with the other one.
Submitted by onewetleg (user info) at 2006-08-07 08:08:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I always tell them, "sorry, I'm already supporting one man". It gets them thinking for a second while I make my escape.
I love San Francisco.
Submitted by joedaddy (user info) at 2006-08-07 01:41:33 EDT (#)
Ranking: 1
i always tell them; sorry man, i spent the last of my money on some heroin i just shot
Submitted by jfreif (user info) at 2006-08-07 00:28:00 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bums are worthless -- all they want money for is crack. Go get a job.
Submitted by UnderOathMeal (user info) at 2006-08-06 21:56:01 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Bums are mere salespeople.
They're only trying to get you to buy some sympathy.
Submitted by KindaNews (user info) at 2006-08-06 19:49:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Did you lick his ass?
Submitted by Life101 (user info) at 2006-08-06 18:42:44 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by GnarlsBarkley (user info) at 2006-08-06 17:45:45 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
No Comment
Submitted by Maltese (user info) at 2006-08-06 17:42:57 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
I was feeling british today, so I thought by "bum" you meant ass, and, you see, since San Francisco is renouned for its gayness, this made the post all the funnier.
Therefore...
Auto +2 for unintentional humor.
Submitted by calbearspolo (user info) at 2006-08-06 17:42:10 EDT (#)
Ranking: 0
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-06 17:39:41 (#)
Ranking: 2
Been there.
My favorite exchange, because it was so short and sweet--
"Gimme some money, you fuckin yuppie."
"Go fuck yourself, asswipe."
The guy looked shocked. How dare I speak to him like that.
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I like it! I had a similar conversation like that about a week ago, I just figured this one was more entertaining. I mean, who heckles someone on crutches while they are trying to cross a busy street? SF bums, that's who.
Submitted by Jack_McCallum (user info) at 2006-08-06 17:39:41 EDT (#)
Ranking: 2
Been there.
My favorite exchange, because it was so short and sweet--
"Gimme some money, you fuckin yuppie."
"Go fuck yourself, asswipe."
The guy looked shocked. How dare I speak to him like that.
Submitted by goferforhire (user info) at 2006-08-06 17:36:50 EDT (#)
Ranking: -2
Kent: Well, what do you say to the accusation that your group has been
causing more crimes than it's been preventing?
Homer: Oh, Kent, I'd be lying if I said my men weren't committing crimes.
Homer the Vigilante